Newsy Notes:
-That Hurts! Turns out that Lions center Frank Ragnow has been diagnosed with a, um, “Fractured Throat”. I have no idea what that entails but he finished out the game with it. He’s gonna be on the front page of Pain Tolerance Weekly, that’s for sure.
-Der Covid has hit both James Bradberry and Jason Garrett upside the nostrils and other affected areas. Freddie Kitchens will handle the play-calling duties, bringing some of that sweet Browns magic to the game.
-Sitters Can’t Be Winners-Stafford, Dimes, Gesicki and many others are out of commission. RoJo has pins in his fingers and bells on his toes, and has been asking the whereabouts of Sweet Gypsy Rose.
-Former Ravens rb Lorenzo Taliaferre has passed away at the age of 28 due to a heart attack. He played in the league from 2014-16. Damn that’s young.
TO THE GAME!
Chargers/Raiders:
-The odds folks have estimated that if the 7-6 Raiders win tonight their chances of making the playoffs are 29%. If they lose it drops all the way down to 5%.
-Qb Herbert’s (of the two tossers playing tonight, he likes Bauhaus the 2nd-most) passing TD prop this evening is 1.5. He’s thrown 2 or more in 8 of 12 games that he’s started. The Raiders have the 27th ranked pass D. Do the math.
-Quietly coming on these last few weeks is Nelson Agholor-over the last month he’s been WR16 fantasy-wise. With Ruggs on the Reserve-Covid list he should see the most targets after Waller. During that same time he’s led all wr’s in red zone targets inside the 10 yard line.
-What To Do With Jacobs? Coming off an injury and a pranking of fantasy players he had a lousy game and a worrying 42% snap share. I guess ya gotta play him if ya have him because Booker can’t read running lanes.
-Speaking of rb’s, Ekeler was out for quite some time but since his return he’s RB4. The last time the Chargers played the Raiders they ran for 160 yards and 2 TD’s.
Play ’em if you’ve got them down below.
QUACK ATTACK in Vegas!
https://isgrudengoneyet.com/
Twenty-one current and former college students at Duke, U.N.C. Chapel Hill and Appalachian State have been charged with dealing thousands of pounds of marijuana, hundreds of kilograms of cocaine and other drugs, federal prosecutors said on Thursday.
But I thought everything was on the straight an narrow on Tobacco Road?
Duke students were the money guys, UNC did the distribution, and App State handled the sales and did product testing.
I didn’t think the ECU kids had the money to buy all those drugs…
They didn’t, they just bought moonshine from the NCSU students.
Happy Appy would be the moonshine school. NCSU prolly has an ether problem.
NC State students reached for comment just said something about an old man in the hills who buys all their drugs, so they never got caught.
totally Gandalf
My neighbors when I was a kid bred Afghan Hounds. So pretty, soooo stupid!
Kind of boastful of you, but you probably weren’t that stupid as a kid.
https://twitter.com/Coppertopmpls/status/1339297876350885888
Raiders -3
O/U 52.5
You bet on the Raiders? What the hell is wrong with you?
The good thing about the Raiders defense is that Derek won’t have to rush back to the field anytime soon.
RTD: I predict 3 and out.
[monkey’s paw curls]
Derek Carr leads the team to 3 points and then is out of the game.
Carr is in the locker room smoking a clove cigarette and pulling on his pud.
High school memories…
Shit, that was just our average Saturday.
Groin. Done.
ah man
Carr pulled somethin
thats NOT rockin
Carr injured???? Will we get some Peterman-man????
OU 3.5 INTS
OH YES!!!! A Festivus MIRACLE
NUT STRAIN ALERT!
Penis gets penis injury!
Uh oh. Pulled ballsack for Carr.
Emo Carr done pulled his dick.
Relevant! (ish)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCyITnDjJdQ
Yes, because Carr just hurt his Ween.
Fuck Aglohor, when did he buy hands???
I want to see the people in the middle of the Venn Diagram of people who listen to Miley Cyrus, and people who watch Good Morning Football
NC State has a dude that’s basically Black Sideshow Bob, he has 5 blocked shots in the first half.
With his face!?!
errrrrrgggggghhhhhh 😀
THWACK
What is his Stepped On a Rake Above Replacement number though?
/see above
How much of his Die Bart Die tattoo can you see?
Welp, I predicted three consecutive 3 and out’s for the Raiders, so my prediction is moot.
San DeigoLos Angles Chargershttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whNOfvyPpaM
I know this is disguised product placement for Lexus, but they’re not wrong here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcEylCwkSxE
I am genuinely doing my best to laugh at how bad these Raiders are.
That was an obscenely easy drive for the Chargers. Like, they broke so little of a sweat they should use the footage to make a deodorant commercial.
Tis the season of giving and the Raiders are the first in line.
That’s not Keenan Allen
HIPPO SAD
The 55 Raiders are 7-6? How?!
2020
found a funny:
https://twitter.com/Coppertopmpls/status/1339267186746015744
That’s a good pug right there.
Pugs are abominations.
Not today man, not today.
Let’s see if the Raiders make me look like a genius with my prediction from the Battlebots thread.
Derek Carr playing with a heavy heart tonight-he just found out that Bela Lugosi’s dead.
This is one Santa who’s going through the front door.
IBC Presents:
The Night the Reindeer Died
IBC: Yule Love It!
This is why Balls prays to El Santo Clause.
This is going to an awful game, isn’t it?
Yes
We had the Game of the Year on Monday. We need to be punished for that.
He is not wrong.
3 and out. No shock there.
“Gonna Disagree. HARD!”
-Peter Gabriel’s Monkey
My house of gamblor is having problems with deposits. TAKE MY MONEY GOD DAMMIT!
that waiting is THE WORST
Masked Erin Andrews makes me want to masturbate in Arabic.
That sure is an attractive bridge her nose has.
My MIL grew up in the middle east. She says it’s the eyebrows that are sexy.
Fingernails.
Her ankles are on display like some oasis harlot?
Where is ICRM???
firing up BOTH Austin Ekler and Jacobs 2nite
hopefully this game is ROCKING!!!!
No to Ekeler
I ended up shoveling about a foot of snow today. I had to do it solo since Mrs. Sharkbait needed to keep an eye on baby Shark. Also because she had to do all of the shoveling last year when I was still in a sling post shoulder surgery. Needless to say, I’m a bit sore now. Bourbon is a painkiller right?
A delicious painkiller.
I’m a total weirdo(obvs) but I really love to shovel snow. It’s a good workout and incredibly relaxing at the same time.
Bradshaw wearing his blueberry Kangol, the kind you find in a second-hand store. If it was warm he wouldn’t wear much more.
[shudders]
BREAKING: Scotchnaut might have a crush on Terry Bradshaw.
Redshirt: “Scotchy, people are saying you have a crush on Bradshaw, your response?”
Me: [groans] “More Weight!”
Don’t judge my weight gain in 2020!
(cries into pint of Mint Cookies n’ Cream)
I wanted to pick up Clearasil Boy and start him in anticipation of the Raiders defense making him look like Matt Flynn (on the night he played against the Raiders).
Lucky Fantasy Football Players: “Who in the hell was Lorenzo Taliaferro?”
Unlucky Fantasy Football Players: “Damn, Lorenzo Taliaferro died.”
Everyone else: “Yeah, I think I remember that episode of The Sopranos.”
The #BFIB teevee play-by-play guy is announcing St. Louis v. NC State hoopsball (ESPN+), it is bizarre.
Its like listening to the Bengals Color Guy do a TV football game. He goes from easily excited screaming homer to reserved, knowledgeable sage.
He pronounces the home team as “Slew” (SLU) which is really annoying.
Based on that logic, I really hope osew beat new. Also, I hope uhc destroys uht to spike the chfhpa committee.
Went to the dentist today and was convinced that would bounce me from LDB challenge. Survived.
“Survived”
I see that you weren’t so lucky with respect to “The Gloria Gaynor Challenge”!
Cedric Richmond, incoming member of Biden administration, tests positive for coronavirus – CNNPolitics
Uh oh.
Warming up in the Bullpen:
49 – K. Harris (D)
Shouldn’t that be 47 (or possibly 46)?
46.6! – Jerry R., Spartansburg, SC
No. Biden will be the 47th POTUS, but Harris will be the 49th VPOTUS.
Wanted to get my GAMBLOR balance back on a number I liked better (fuck off, YOU have a problem), so put $19 on Keenan Allen for first TD (10-to-1). I know that’s basically wiping one’s ass with one’s moneys.
I don’t know. It doesn’t sound that bad, as except for two weeks ago, he’s good for one Rec. TD. I would’ve gone with one with higher odds to get a higher payout, but you do you.
You supposed to gamble for fun, not to win money.
(Also, Pro Football Reference still have Changers in the sdg folder. Not sure if that’s protest for the move or just laziness.)
I do the round number thing too.
Cartoon Carr has no eyeliner, and Cartoon Herbert has no acne. I call fuckery, Fox
URGENT
Brown (BAL) has the rona so do I start: Thielen (vs CHI); Lockett (at WAS) or tonight’s Agholor?
I’d probably risk it with Purge Your Thielens (especially if game in Minny)
I won my league last year with an inferior squad by taking my chances with some hot playoff hands. Now I’ve got underperformers like T Lockett and A Thielen and I’m paralyzed about whether to try my luck of be unsurprised by another down week by my ‘stars’…
Agholor fucked me over the one time I played him. So, perhaps he goes off tonight.
I ain’t trusting anyone vs Team right now-their D is playing out of its mind.
I’ve never seen the Grinch movies so I’m giving the Jim Carrey edition a go as I wait for kickoff.
Unpopular HippoPINION Time – Outside of In Living ColoUr, I never found Jim Carrey funny.
Mmmm….I don’t think that’s extreme. I mean, I don’t want to hear a peep about dumb and dumber not being perfect but, anything else, sure; he is a lot for one serving. I’ve had similar overdoses of Will Farrell as movie leads.
Will’s not as bad as Captain Farrell though smh
He actually does a decently good job. Nothing beats the TV special, but Carrey did his best to respect the source material and put his spin on it.
I haven’t seen Cumberbatch’s Grinch, so I can’t say if Carrey is better Grinch character.
I haven’t seen Myer’s Cat in the Hat, but I will say that Carrey was a better Dr. Seuss character.
Hot teak…if somehow the Washington Washingtons make it to the playoffs…I think River Boat Ron has to be coach of the year.
He is winning the battle against that godawful, body destroying, energy zapping disease.
And he is fighting cancer too.
Would he be the first latinx coach to accomplish some weird stat?
Fuck a duck, I have to root for Clippers du Merde tonight?
Pretend their playing golf and cheer with CdM finishes with a higher score.
that might be crazy/genius enough to WORK!
I just found out this existed. NSFW-Language
MLP:FiM Voice Actor Outtakes – YouTube