Did anything get sorted out? Well, surely this round of tilts will settle everything.
TO THE GAMES!
Packers/Bears:
Chicago would have much preferred that Green Bay had nothing to play for but they want to solidify that #1 seed so this one should be intense, to the point where some players may end up in tents.
Raiders/Broncs:
Neither of these teams have anything to lose. Or win. Or tie. Blah.
Jags/Colts:
Say goodbye to Hollywood and Doug Marrone, he did his best but his best just wasn’t good enough and now Urban Meyer is on everyone’s lips. Eww. Apply some balm, would you? The Colts blew it vs the Steelers last week so they should be out for blood, drinking every last bit of the Jags milkshake out there on the field.
Chargers/Chiefs:
And now he’s back! For one last incredible performance, ladies and gentlemen… Chad Henne! His counterpart, who actually shows promise, needs 341 yards today against a bunch of not-starters to become the throwingest rookie qb there ever was. He’ll set the record for a.) passing yards by a noobie and b.) Clearasil endorsements.
Cards/Rams:
Rb Akers is a game-timer for the Jekyll and Hyde Rammmits. Me: “Hey you, you must think you’re a real hotshot-you ever even played in a pro football league before?” John Wolford: “Uh, yeah. I played for the Arizona Hotshots, as a matter of fact.” Me: “Uh huh. Well, okay then.”
Seahawks/Niners:
With everyone yakking about the Packers and Saints being the creme of the NFC, I’d be wary of Wilson going on a little tear, of which he’s completely capable of doing. Now will the Seattle D step up though?
Saints/Panthers:
Ty Montgomery is the gentleman that will replace the honorable fantasy league winner Kamara today. Tis about the only interesting storyline I could find for this one.
Titans/Texans:
Henry needs 223 to reach 2,000 for the year so he’s done like dinner. Except for the fact that the last two times he went for a stroll vs the Texans he ended up with 211 and 212. No matter the outcome he’ll be the first back-to-back rushing champ since LT in ’06-’07.
6 incompletes in a row for Charmslinger.
he would go out tonight
but he doesn’t have a stitch to weeeeeeaaaarrrr
I look forward to the national feed being on Donks/Raiders for like the last hour.
I don’t.
Can the Humps piss 2 leads away in consecutive weeks?
Awfully sporting of Wilson to put the MVP debate to rest today
15-15 Scorigami is IN PLAY!!
Also possible is that a Rams field goal could win it, in which case we would have a Gay pushing the Bears through the back door.
I did that one just for you, balls.
/also, we have sent out the Buddy Cole Bat Signal…so many times!
Moose and Buddy, come back, all is forgiven
Much appreciated
We already had one Scorigami today, would be fun to have two!
You say your team did not reach 11 wins?
Teddy Ballgame leaking a little oil.
Teams with playoff games should allow fans to upload a photo of themselves to have cardboard cutouts made to fill the stands for the games. Run it like playoff ticket sales this week, partner with local shops (that are still in business) to make them.
“How much can we charge fans for this privilege?”
-NFL Owners
I would project Nixon behind the Ravens bench, fixated on Harbaugh.
That would be fantabulous
I want the same arrangement at the draft, so that we can have cardboard cutouts of Jets fans with paper bags over their heads.
Lol everybody on the field pointing at Kittle wide-open wondering why Beathard threw to someone else.
Robbie Gould’s non-union, Mexican equivalent!
I can no longer recall what a Tomsulas win would signify.
/pill bottle rattles invitingly
I would win a bet.
Thanks to reddit I now know what a Pilonidal cyst is, and that it is a synonym for the Jets
That was a good gd catch
TAKE THAT ODB
ECM!
packers fans: bears fans need to stop bringing up the 85 bears. so pathetic they have one title in the last fifty years.
also packers fans: we’re gonna constantly bring up a coach who’s been dead for fifty years while we celebrate our two titles in 50 years
Did the Packers ever have a decent music video?
Wait, did the Bears?
Kinda depends on your definition of decent, but the Super Bowl Shuffle was certainly popular
Popular is good! — Spice Girls
I’ll be the first to admit i don’t know a single bears fan who actually likes the song. it was just fucking awesome for a team to call their shot at that point in the season
they released a song called “the bears still suck” after the bears won the superbowl.
its the most passive aggressive thing you’ve ever seen. your rival has the most dominant season ever? just pretend it didn’t ever happen
also it explicitly mentions Jim mcmahon by name which is fucking hilarious because he later was a backup on the green bay 96 squad
Holy shit!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avRHH9uAL4Q
yep. before new England tried to co-opt it, green bay were the kings of “we do things the right way” hypocrisy
bears will get a penalty on third down. $20 on it
…….. should have taken the bet
why am i talking to myself
Who are you?
Valdez-Scantling just made AARon’s “family” list with that drop.
He’s like a brother to him now.
Hawks game looks like preseason
70 yard field goal attempt!
Rodgers a perfect 158.3 at the half. Great job Bears defense. Or was it the refs allowing non stop holding for GB as usual
both.
that fucking fumble was bullshit in my opinion, feels like most times that would not get called a fumble at all.
we also lost are best linebacker in the first quarter, and then that somehow translated to a different linebacker covering a slot receiver.
I know it sounds nonsensical but why the fuck do the breaks always seem to go their way. its like getting straight A’s because your parents promised to buy you a car and then your dad welches out because you got an A minus in comp. lit
Because The Shield loves GB. Like it once loved Dallas and still loves Tommy Brady.
The Bears not only have to get good but they have to slay the 25 years in the making Green Bay Legend.
Or just keep fellating 1985 forever.
Good luck.
I mean i can admit rodgers is really fucking good
but jesus christ we have awful luck with injuries
Brian Flores losing his way out of the playoffs from a 10-4 record is the ending Matt Patricia could have only hoped for.
Wife “Did you grate your knuckle on something?”
I take a look at it. “Hot sauce, sorry you married me.”
I managed to get gojuchang on the inside of my bra once. It looked like blood stains when I tried to clean it off and I felt super badass for some reason
So. Many. Questions.
It’s not really that exciting. Just overly runny gojuchang and stirring bibimbap with chopsticks
“Pete Carroll finds any way to win a game…”
Was there, the end of that game was BANANAS in the stands.
So was I. It was ridiculous.
That game was a meme but locally it was proof what happens when the rigged Aaron Rodgers refs are gone and replaced with incompetent idiots… we actually had a chance to win.
And worth remembering that Seattle getting a break on national TV was enough for The Shield to end the strike the next day.
Ha ha ha! Pick Six inside 2 minutes for the Rams!
Boomer taking shots at the CFL. How dare you, sir!
Strevvy wasn’t even the starter in Winnipeg. He was like a Taysom Hill who loves booze!
Typical Boomer — AOC
Can someone besides Dunstan say Back Door Bears?
Not according to this cease and desist letter
RRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! defense 9
Qards offense 7
RRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! offense 3
SAFETY DANCE AGAIN!
So many Men Without Hats you would think this was the Royal Canadian Legion!
This is an excellent statement.
@ArmedandHammered what i was super freaking out about earlier was the idea that Montgomery, by far the bears best offensive player, was injured five minutes into the first game
Ahh, thanks for letting me know, was just wondering what set you off since Murray went to the locker room about the same time
Who is kicking for the Santa Clara Niners of Arizona today? I read Robbie Solid Gould got the covids
Apparently, Tristan Vizcaino, who we signed off the practice squad two days ago.
Already better than Blair Walsh
Bears D reliance on the 12th man to cover someone doesn’t seem to be panning out.
Only works for Texas A & M. Or Seattle if we pay the licensing fee
NEW ROOTING INTEREST! I want RRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! to get another safety, and the match to end in a 7-7 draw
I’m on board with this
RUINED
Well, two Arizona safeties would be a 12-11 scorigami
Also, a 15-15 tie is doable (and also scorigami)
If it makes the Bears fans feel better, it looks like the Rams really want to win this game.
So what you’re saying is, the Bears can still come in the back door?
KJ Wright still got it
The Ricketts deserve every bit of hatred that y’all can give them. They were allowed to buy up and privatize most of a city block in return for a handful of years worth of pretending to give a shit about competing.
And yet they were the reason for Theo and for 2016.
Compare this with 25 years worth of Seattle ownership by a kindly Japanese oligarch that resulted in a handful of playoff teams followed by 20 years of suckage
I am pretty happy that as part of the Wrigley renovations they ended up having to modernize a whole lot of obsolete plumbing and sewer that was basically from when the area was first incorporated into the City of Chicago
I’m sure you can still find a place to do that, although it’s been a bad decade for trough urinals. They also no longer make the world’s longest urinal for the NYC City Marathon.
I’m referring to the ancient water mains and sewerage they found under Waveland though, that was one of the main sources of delay in the early construction.
Holy shit, that actually worked!
And it didn’t even help my property values!
SAFETY DANCE!
SAFETY!
2 things:
1) When I was on my High School C-team, Coach Robinson told us that holding happens on every play. Sometimes more blatant than others, but it’s American AF.
b) These edibles are more stronger than what I thot.
Finally) Is there a DFO NFL playoff pool for fun or profit?
1) That’s also what John Madden used to say in the commentary on Madden ’98 (ish)
Madden was doing edibles in ’98? That explains a lot.
“If it was edible, I was eating it!” — J. Madden
“And that’s why you’re my hero.” — A. Reid
We should do one…
I distinctly remember, as an elementary school child, how excited I was that one of Sunday’s games went to the half at 7-5.
Please make me re-live that, Qards/RRRRRRRRAM IT!!
Status of DonT’s el Tractorcito boner??
Up in Arizona. Flagstaff, actually
Muy grande?
DFO really needs to find, and interview, that man.
All these photos of bears makes me wonder what Buddy is up to.
Besides “seven inches”
I think that would be “down on”, knowing Buddy.
Obligatory – oh, honey!
Mr. Bowlen was a better Donks WOO!!! owner than all of the above, even after he no longer knew who or where he was.
his ass is down. if you can recover fumbles and onside kicks with your ass down then it sure as hell should count as down
Good thing they wiped that PlayStation logo off the field – Russ might have blown up like a matter/antimatter explosion.
Hawks O line returning to form
Kinda difficult as there aren’t that many cities with enough pro sports franchises to make them comparable. Worth at least mentioning Baltimore though
I was less-than-fondly recalling a series of increasingly incompetent Hartford Whalers owners, but Hartford is lacking in baseball, football, basketball, soccer, lacrosse, cornhole, darts, lawn darts, horse racing, boxing, MMA, competitive ballroom dancing, track and/or field, and for that matter much of anything, so it just didn’t seem an apt comparison.
Does anyone believe that the Bears role as Rodgers Bitch is in any danger today?
So, we’re just not doing phrasing any more?
Wolford stealing the job
It’s like Lucille Bluth when she got a substitute child.
Anyong!
This is a fanbase with a mini dynasty Black Hawks and the first WS in 108 years Cubs.
And of course the 6 rings Bulls franchise
This year might be shit but here is Seattle’s response.
Mariners; only remaining MLB team with no WS appearances.
NBA franchise: vacant since 2008.
NFL: OK you might have an argument there.
NHL: at long last an expansion team; versus 3 Stanley Cups in the last 11 years.
Anyway… carry on.
M V S!!!
That really is a hard city to beat for ownership. Steinbrenner was an ass, but he won two WS in the 70’s. The Mets ownership is short bus special, (or was before the sale), but still managed to win in ’86 and get back a couple of more times. The Maras are pretty good, and they’ve produced Rooney and Kate, the Johnsons are not good and I don’t know anything about their daughters.
James Dolan with the Knicks and Rangers, however, makes up for a lot all by himself.