Back To 24/7 Footy Manager – Teh New Normal?? Open Thread

Despite continued outbreaks, postponements, and cancellations (both Everton and my Shitty Wolves will be unexpectedly off this weekend) – the Premiership marches on.  Sort of.  But losing the fixtures I care about this weekend, and seeing the FITBAW post-season schedule get all used up…well, thunderfuck reality.  It’s back to MOAR Pretend Man City than is healthy, but I am quite excite for the 2080-81 season.  Most notably – despite going out on pennos in the Raging Semis last season – I am on a never-to-be-broken run of 127 FA Cup matches without defeat.  HOW? You might ask – because “going out” on penalties does not qualify as a Lesser Loss.  It’s still techincially a Draw, and as y’all know, technically is the best kind of correct.

I have also lost in the Shempions final two years running, and that really chaps my ass.  Time to sell some fuckers, and fuck some shite up.  I love pre-season!

Also just started “The Berkut” per Viva La Tabula Rosa’s recommend.  Not deep into it, but can already tell it will be really good.  Is nice to converse with fellow literates in our Imaginary little world.

Anyway, to today’s fixtures (5 in 4 time slots):

Nobody is setting their alarms for Wolves and Fat Sam’s Brummies (7:30, NBCSN).  But raw off a home loss to THE MIGHTY BLUES of Everton, perhaps Wolves will be out for blood, and run these sad motherfuckers into the ground.  FUCK SAM ALLARDYCE IN HIS MANY FUCKHOLES.

Finally, an old school(ish) 10:00 multi-match window!  Leeds and Trash Birds (NBCSN) will give you quite the clash of styles.  Let’s hope Madman Bielsa gets his wish, in terms of tempo.  Otherwise, one is stuck with Hammers/Team White Lives Matter (Peacock), and ain’t nobody interested in that.  OK, except Fronk (sorry, my Imaginary Dude, am just salty).

Spotlight Dance doesn’t interfere with NFL goodness this week, and a good thing – Litre’s Mighty Whitey get the trespassers of Chelski this week (12:30, NBC), having finally figured out a balance of defense and counter-attacking.  I really do think Fulham will stay up, and honestly not messing with Dry Litre (which we all best tiptoe around).  This will be a Clubhouse Derby, with Funny Finder rockingdog repping the blue side.

Finally, Foxes and Saints are streaming (3:00, Peacock).  Yeah, this sounds like a bunch of guys peeing on each other.  But it’s this, or NFL pre-game.  Like Sophie’s Choice, if you wanted to give both kids to the Nazis.

Hopefully, we have seen the last of treasonous sedition/insurrection.  Still, I want some public hangings.  Because how else can we heal amirite??

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Viva La Tabula Raza

The DieHard battery commercial with Bruce Willis, Samuel Jackson, and the guy that played the LAPD guy Sgt Lewis is pretty cool.

scotchnaut

SillyCuse lost an easily winnable game yet again today. Nose-Picker-in-Chief is weirdly enamored by an out of shape six foot shooting guard that has been forced to play the point. He doesn’t play D, is barely adequate on O but never gets the quick hook that Boeheim is famous for.

Horatio Cornblower

Boeheim needs to be shipped to a farm upstate, which is a problem since he’s already pretty far upstate.

scotchnaut

His (lack of) in-game/half-time adjustments are laughable at this point. So hard to watch.

SonOfSpam

Took 77 minutes. Seems like it should be about 4-0.

Wakezilla

I was wondering when the other foot would drop for Fulham against Chelski. Typically it’d be in the second half around the 70th minutes.

Here’s hoping Areola keeps standing on his head

Wakezilla

I know!

I actually believe that United will get at least a draw tomorrow, if not a win. We’ll see based on the starting XI.

I’d go big dick energy and roll with:
Dave
Telles, Slabhead, Bailly, Spider
Matic, Pogba
Rash, Bruno, Tony
Cavani

That team can beat the Scousers. I fear Ole will run with;

Dave
Shaw, Slabhead, Lindelof, Spider
McSauce, Pastor Fred
Pogba, Bruno, Rash
Martial

That starting XI will play for a 0-0 draw and could get burned with how slow the CBs are and the fact the Wing backs and DMs have to stay close to the CBs. That defensive line is bubble wrap FC because it’s all about protecting the slow CBs. This is where United become vulnerable and get burned on the backpost because the Wingbacks are holding the CBs hands

Cecil Rhodes

My word, what a barbaric challenge from the American. Then again, I should not be surprised — many of the colonies stopped receiving proper football education after they became independent. Their loss.

litre_cola

Sir, Mighty Whitey is mired at the bottom with uncouth clubs which is not befitting for a club with such stature. The Americans dismissal di not help our cause.

litre_cola

I can’t watch the 2nd half. Fuck everything.

litre_cola

There it is.

litre_cola

FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK

rockingdog

Pulisic got the start

thats rockin

litre_cola

Already raging.

litre_cola

This match is always bad for my health.

litre_cola

Not this year! They are all over us. This ain’t good.

litre_cola

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Horatio Cornblower

Beat those Tory cunts.

/also sensual, if you’re into that sort of thing, I guess.

litre_cola

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litre_cola

rockingdog we are internet friends off today. Not rocking.

rockingdog

Wut

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Dunstan

They’re not quite as funny, but I’m always amused by the handwritten signs I see promising “I will teach you how to make millions in real estate!”

Yeah, because the one thing that successful millionaires totally do is (1) deliberately create competition for themselves; and (2) advertise for protegees via handwritten sharpie signs on telephone polls.

Which I’m sure is the point. Much like the badly written Nigerian email scams, the transparent ludicrousness of the pitch serves a purpose of filtering out anyone with an ounce of critical thinking, so that only the greediest suckers are left.

Dunstan

Pretty astonishing story here:

Nidhi Razdan left her anchor job to be a Harvard professor. It was a hoax. | Boston.com

I feel like, if you’re a journalist who quit your job in order to accept what you thought was a position as a journalism professor at a university that doesn’t even have a journalism school, and did no fact-checking that would have uncovered the hoax, you probably really really suck at being a journalist.

Game Time Decision

This is the stuff that will be preserved and future generations and/or aliens will try to make sense of this crap

scotchnaut

Devin Singletary receiving prop is 18 1/2 yards. That seems doable.

Horatio Cornblower

Hope this comes up, because it is hilarious.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1350168168950591491

Go Browns.
/Browns are going to die

Horatio Cornblower

“Nailed it”
-Horatio Cornblower, running in and knocking Blair Walsh over before Walsh can shank the connection.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll be on the Brownwagon for as long as it’s rolling, though I agree with HC that it’s likely to be a glorious slaughter.

rockingdog

thets ROCKING

SonOfSpam

Been reading his stuff for years and years. How fucking awful.

scotchnaut

I don’t smoke or edible at all but when my son saw my infected finger he said “be back in a sec”, and returned with a “just in case” joint, should I need it. D’awwww.

scotchnaut

You’re not my mother!

Horatio Cornblower

“Eh”-Alex Azar

litre_cola

I like your son.

Gumbygirl

Fire it up!

Horatio Cornblower

“Fernandez tries to come around the back door”

/Ballsofsteelandfury has entered the chat

ballsofsteelandfury

You rang?

Horatio Cornblower

OK, that’s just creepy.

SonOfSpam

He saw the BallSignal.

Last edited 3 years ago by SonOfSpam
scotchnaut

It’s like a Truck Nutz but it’s in the sky!

SonOfSpam

(Steve Perry voice) TruckNutz in the sky keep turning

Horatio Cornblower

Got up at the crack of 11:00 am this morning. In my defense I was up at 4:30 to make sure our basement remained dry as we got 1″-2″ of rain last night, then again at 7:30 because the asshole cat was hungry, then woke up at 9:00 but had the same asshole cat and the not at all an asshole dog curled up on my bed next to me, and what kind of a monster disturbs that?

Horatio Cornblower

Where’s the rest of you?

Don T

I deliberately went to sleep late to wake up late and have a COUPLA hours to do necessary crap before the games. It’s still five hours to the first game. I DONT WANNA DO CONSTRUCTIVE SHIT, GAMES DAMMIT!1!1!1!1

litre_cola

Well 15 mins at 1030 until I fly into a rage and go for a long walk muttering to myself.

Don T

The ebb and flow of fútbol allows too many opportunities to fret about stuff I should be doing. NFL + “substances” efficiently quiet the “You have invoices pending” matronly inner voice.

Don T

“Lord, grant me JJD’s resolve. Amén.”

rockingdog

found a funny:

James Cameron writes Impeachment on the board

execs nod

James Cameron adds an s

execs go wild

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s pretty funny, though somewhat high on the obscurometer.

SonOfSpam

Because it’s awesome, and Alison Mosshart is deserving of worship.

Fronkenshteen
Horatio Cornblower

I remember seeing that on the teevee and nearly jumping through the ceiling. Because a) it was a great goal and b) fuck Tottenham, always.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve worn out two recliners since my gastric bypass surgery December 2018. Went and bought a new one back in September, fancy with electric motors (though no massager). Tax, delivery, and extended warranty, total $1800. Kicked myself on the way home from the showroom, “Why the FUCK did I pay $300 for a five year extended warranty? After the pox-eclipse, will Immortan Don’s War Boys be making service calls?”

Last edited 3 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
Fronkenshteen

Leeds are in one helluva funk.

Fronkenshteen

You’re probably right. It was still surreal watching Crawley eviscerate them.

litre_cola

We get Burnley and then potentially Bournemouth. A deep run will kill our chances for survival.

Fronkenshteen

Cmon boys. Make it to halftime with the lead.

Fronkenshteen

No offense taken, good sir Hippo. I may be the only American following this match with my iPhone and a single ear bud. Haller is gone (WOOOOOOO!) but Snodgrass is too (DAAAAWWWWWWWWW). Antonio snatching an early goal from these nazi cunts is HUGE, since, while Burnley don’t score often, neither do they get blown out much. Their back 4 is solid as fuck, and Teh Pontiff might be the best keeper in the league.

Fronkenshteen

Clumsy comparison, but Antonio reminds me so much of NY Rangers forward Adam Graves in their 1994 championship season. Johnny on the fucking spot.

litre_cola

Do your job.

litre_cola

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Last edited 3 years ago by litre_cola
litre_cola

Hippo approved,comment image

litre_cola

London derby?
Note, People Just Do Nothing sitcom is class and they all appear in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA5uuBCtZ5k

scotchnaut

No football for 7 fookin’ hours! But I want to watch some nooooowww.*

*said in remarkably annoying nasally tone

Viva La Tabula Raza

My advancing years have taken a toll on my ability to sleep beyond 7 AM. This really pisses me off, because I’d really like to go to sleep for a year or so and wake up when all this shit is fixed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIb6yIcRfsA

litre_cola

Today’s plan, 8 hrs of futbol, 6 hrs of NFL, no booze. Pray for me.

litre_cola

BANANACAKES engage.

litre_cola

Jesus fuck. Set piece disaster.

litre_cola

Did I bet on Wolves down 1? Yes I did.

litre_cola

It was a penalty not like the Baggies were dominating play.

litre_cola

Stamford Bridge. NOT in Chelsea.
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litre_cola

The extent of hooliganism in Fulham.
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litre_cola

Turns tv on, West Brom scores. Oh, it’s going to be one of those days.

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola is going to get Deci some shoes today, I told her the best time for that was during the neighboUrhood tussle. Now I can swear away at full volume!

/will watch first 15 minutes and get so mad will have to go for a walk.
/Fuck I hate Chelsea

scotchnaut

Ottawa Senators rocking first place in their division, baby!*

*there will be a slo-mo dismount and they’ll land in uh, second-last place

litre_cola

Maestro is probably still wasted. He was fired up on twitter yesterday.

scotchnaut

Guh, every time I think about getting back on that horse I take a look around and think “Nope”.