Your “And Now, The Main Event” AFC Playoff Playoff Game Open Thread

Is that guy and his makeup team still around? He made some pretty penny for a while there.

TO THE GAME!

Ravens/Bills:

-Apparently New York State isn’t allowing bars and restaurants to open for the game. So, you may want to mumble a prayer for Aunt Mabel’s kitchen table.

-What with rb Moss out and backup Yeldon not having played since October 13th, it be (as Hippo and I have wanted for 2 years now) Devin Singletary all the damn game long. Or Devonta Freeman will get 15 carries. Whatever.

-The Ravens have one of the few secondaries that can cope with the Bills deep receiving corps. We may once again see Gabe Davis hold down the fort until Diggs and Beasley get unstuck, as happened last week. A ton of credit has to go to qb Allen for going to Davis on a few plays where he sure as hell wasn’t the first or second read.

-Baltimore plays a lot of man and this where Allen thrives-he has the 3rd-highest passing grade, the 2nd-most TD’s and an 8.8 yards per attempt stat against that setup. It gets worse (for the Ravens) because Diggs gets a 36% target share in this spot.

-More good/bad news depending on your cheering preference is that Baltimore blitzes at a 40% rate and Allen has the most TD passes (18) vs the blitz. The Ravens might just get hoisted on their own petard.

-Buffalo’s run D has tightened up recently (see just last week) but has given up 150+ yards five times over the course of the season. Just Kidding Dobbins has averaged over 6 ypc and has scored in seven straight contests.

-Keep an eye out for Mark Andrews because defending the tight end is a huge weakness for the Bills. Cox and Co. burned them for 14 catches and 136 yards during Wild Card Weekend.

-Bills OC Brian Daboll, who is being pursed by the Eagles and Chargers shares a birthday with meeeeeeeeeee.

Have at it.

 

5 4 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
339 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Doesn’t get much more SUDDEN CHANGE than that!

Recovery Whiskey

Massive reversal

Brick Meathook

OH MY

Petronel

WELP

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

King Hippo

Lamar! must be missing his days in the Senate now.

Dunstan

He’s certainly going to Condition Plaid now

Mother Puncher

I strongly dislike the Ravens

Recovery Whiskey

Care to take a stab at describing why?

litre_cola

But Ray Rice punched the mother of his child. You re pro Mother punching no?

Mother Puncher

Let’s not judge people for their mother punching

Mother Puncher

I’m happy they’re losing

Recovery Whiskey

I’m no historian but I’m pretty sure if this game took place in 1905 Teddy Roosevelt would have declared it illegal.

Gatoraids

All the trust in this game was busted a long time ago

Last edited 3 years ago by Gatoraids
King Hippo

To be fair, BAL’s center is breaking in a new pair of hands.

King Hippo

Lamar!

TheRevanchist

Lamar!ception.

King Hippo

Are all the new network shows just turds that pre-#NuAIDS didn’t make the cut?

Mr. Ayo

Just like all the old network shows.

Redshirt

Wow. A Double-Ground-Field-Goal!

Doktor Zymm

Buff!

King Hippo

What is this sorcery? Com-pe-tence??

Redshirt

Josh Allen stared down that receiver so hard, I’m shipping them.

King Hippo

Brokeback going interracial, is Hollywoo really ready?

Brocky

this comment makes a lot of sense with your profile pic

Last edited 3 years ago by Brocky
Recovery Whiskey

Holy crap a touchdown

Brocky

so my got turned off a full 2 hours after they said it would. 2nd half should be fucking amazing

Recovery Whiskey

You accidentally a word

TheRevanchist

I and drank it all over the sun.

Brocky

i see.

my power is now turned off. I’m debating risking my remaining phone charge to watch the game on yahoo

Recovery Whiskey

Why is your power turned off

King Hippo

Spent all his moneys on meth?

Brocky

well what’s the point of the edit function

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Buuuuuffala

Doktor Zymm

In bed! Winner!

Brocky

thats good hustle!

TheRevanchist

Don’t stop drinking. That would just be giving up.

Doktor Zymm

Don’t worry, I got some Ola brews in my mini fridge

King Hippo

Wind is impacting passing game, both coaches say, but BUF’s dedication to not give Singletary touches is without rival.

Fronkenshteen

Think he’ll get the 7 receiving yards he needs to go over the total? After Yeldon missed that block & got Brokeback sacked?

King Hippo

prop betting, always harder than it seems!

Redshirt

So, what did I miss in the first half?

Fronkenshteen

Justin Tucker became Cody Parkey.

TheRevanchist

Absolutely nothing.

Mr. Ayo

The score is 3-3. Take a guess.

BugEyedBoo

Lily has a new haircut.

Brocky

a rousing debate on the gender of SHANKLOR

King Hippo

still, you should be ashamed to have done something with non-imaginary friends

Redshirt

Point of Order: I only heard them over the Xbox live chat, so it could’ve easily have been my schizophrenia acting up.

hippofant

So Comcast is taking over for the US federal government on the vaccination plan now?

Gatoraids

At the point id be willing to pay 300 a month for a vaccine

Fronkenshteen

Can’t wait to see which broadcast idiots refer to tomorrow’s as a “revenge game” for Kareem Hunt.

TheRevanchist

He will probably take revenge on his girlfriend if he loses.

Gumbygirl

Everyone knows it’s Windy.

Gatoraids

Justin Tucker on sideline whipping his bare feet out on the sideline giving himself the Boogie Nights pepetalk

King Hippo

EXACTLY CORRECT

Spur

It’s my big foot and I say when we’re ready to kick. And, am ready to kick now Jack.

Brick Meathook

comment image

King Hippo

Tucker can go three-for-three on DOINK

Gatoraids

Xerox of fate

King Hippo

I mean, a perfect hat trick would be off the crossbar, but that’s pretty tough from 33.

Mr. Ayo

Let’s go triple DOINK!

clint greasewood

On peacock, fuck you NBC

King Hippo

they really want folks to buy it. I already did, because Everton usually…doesn’t get prime real estate.

TheRevanchist

You mean the Ravens game? I’m watching it on the side on the NFL app for free.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How funny! The guy in the old Bud Light ad (Eddie Jemison) is also someone I’ve encountered in LA. He said hi to my dog.

Recovery Whiskey

Impossible not to see the MMF undertones of that ATT Lily add.

Fronkenshteen

Fucking bummer. I’ve been looking forward to this game all week.

King Hippo

perhaps a SUDDEN CHANGE after the half

King Hippo

OR EVEN SOONER

King Hippo
Horatio Cornblower

I guess I could have linked to it, but that seemed like a lot of work.

Gatoraids

They shoulda put this game on Nickelodean to get the kids to bed early

Senor Weaselo

Is that not the same as World’s Dumbest? Also do any of them get stuck in a water cooler?
comment image

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Diggstown

Horatio Cornblower

Not gonna lie, this game is rapidly approaching “go read a book” status

Recovery Whiskey

Nobody loves a good defensive battle anymore

King Hippo

oh, I love defensive battles, but this has been more like “chucklefuckery”

Dunstan

Perhaps something by Edgar Allen Poe?

litre_cola

This game has been, not what I thought.

Recovery Whiskey

Its evenly matched. So yay.

King Hippo

Time to consider the quick kick.

Recovery Whiskey

— John Elway

Mr. Ayo

I’m about to quick kick this assburger of a game off my TV.

Recovery Whiskey

Mini-Guns has his father’s face but thats about it

Recovery Whiskey

Ok wait its mid January and no snow in Buffalo? Proof global warming is real

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was ninety degrees today in LA. I’m literally sitting in my underwear right now.

Gatoraids

Judon the Grudge Sack

Recovery Whiskey

As opposed to Jon the Gruden Suck

King Hippo

OF COURSE, the game all neutrals looked forward to the most is a flaming bag of shit. WITH NO SNOW.

Last edited 3 years ago by King Hippo
Recovery Whiskey

You arent eagerly salivating for BREES v BRADY?

King Hippo

only to the extent it replicates the epic beatdown NO delivered Week 9

Petronel

If the kicking tonight continues in this vein, it will be a good example of the difference between consistency and accuracy.

Spur

Fried baloney sandwiches it is!

I stay haven’t left the house since getting covid. I’m thinking tomorrow is the day to go shopping.

Gumbygirl

I didn’t eat red meat for about 15 years, and every once in a while, I still get a craving for a veggie burger. Tonight is the night.

clint greasewood

Double Doinks
comment image

Brocky

hahahaha

King Hippo

Lamar’s Updated Kill List: punter, placement kicker (x2), center, tailback

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Probably easier to just go with “KILL ALL HUMANS”.

King Hippo

We used poisonous gases. And we poisoned their asses!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1BdQcJ2ZYY

Recovery Whiskey

Sucksin Sucker amirite

Spur

comment image

Gatoraids

Game is dedicated to the memory of Scott Norwood

Spur

Not hated in some parts of the Nation.

Brocky

may he rest in peace

– Charlie Day

Petronel

Shank’hor demands his sacrifice of DOINKs!

Gumbygirl

Whoopsie!

King Hippo

He has nailed BOTH know, and Sha’nkhor/Shank’hor is coming relentlessly.