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Your “What The Hell…” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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I’m going to assume this happened because of the [DFO] Mock Draft, because this never comes up (heh) after Sexy Friday.

Quite the user requests, from only the finest online “phramacies”. Such inventive screen names too, with descending interest of values. The only thing that surprised me was that they didn’t automatically upload a photo of a porn star as their picture. (Not knowing any pornstars, I couldn’t imagine the names they’d choose.) I guess AI hasn’t fully mastered replacing humans yet.

Disirregardless, I feel confident that none of the male Commentists at [DFO] need any online assistance in that particular regard. If you do – thankfully, the internet has you covered.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Toronto vs Edmonton – 7:00pm | CBC / Sportsnet / NHLN
    • Montreal vs Winnipeg – 10:00pm | CBC / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • New Orleans vs San Antonio – 8:00pm | Sportsnet1
    • Dallas vs Brooklyn – 8:30pm | ABC / TSN2
  • NCAA:
    • Baylor at Kansas – 8:00pm | ESPN
    • USC at Utah – 8:00pm | ESPN2
    • Loyola Marymount at Gonzaga – 10:00pm | ESPN
    • UCLA at Colorado – 10:00pm | ESPN2
  • Fisticuffs:
    • Boxing:
      • Super middleweights:
        • Anthony Dirrell vs. Kyrone Davis – 8:00pm | FOX
    • MMA:
      • UFC Fight Night: Rozenstruik vs. Gane
        • Prelims – 6:00pm | ESPN+ / TSN5
        • Main card – 8:00pm | ESPN+ / TSN5
  • Curling:
    • 2021 Scotties Tournament of Hearts:
      • Championship Round – 8:30pm | TSN

That’s a full docket. And tomorrow’s Sunday Gravy looks particularly tasty, so there’s something to practice up on during the week. Enjoy yourselves.

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Beerguyrob

We watched “On The Rocks” tonight, and apparently we need to talk more.

1
Redshirt

Why Redshirt is Currently Emotionally Destroyed (non-Sports, Politics, or Pretty Much Life in General Edition):

(30 minutes ago)
“I’m bored. I’ll go on a YouTube Video Walk.”

(5 minutes ago)
“Hey, Five Finger Death Punch’s cover of ‘Gone Away’ has a Music Video. Let’s check it out.”

Five Finger Death Punch – Gone Away (Official Video) – YouTube

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

The internet was a mistake

2
SonOfSpam

Yeah sure. Watch three hours of midget bestiality and try saying that again with a straight face.

2
Dunstan

Big day of curling at the Scotties tomorrow: Jones (MB) vs. Walker (BC) at 7 am PDT, winner plays Einarson (CAN), winner of that plays Homan (ON) in the final.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

To Scotchy’s dismay, I have 69 points in the Scotties pool!

1
Dunstan

Made fresh pasta tonight, with shrimp in a lemon, butter, garlic, white wine sauce. Fresh pasta is a bit of a pain, but definitely makes a difference.

4
Gumbygirl

Was my phone off? I didn’t hear you call to invite me. I made green curry with roasted fingerling taters, carrots, leeks and tofu. Brown rice. I am a fucking hippie.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Weird day. Having some Balvenie.

4
Horatio Cornblower

Really just has to be a day for that.

2
Beerguyrob

I made a calzone out of some bread dough, leftover spaghetti meat sauce, and whatever vegetables we had in the crisper.

WineWife asked what I was making, and I said “DFO Sushi”.

She stuck with her turkey bake.

5
Horatio Cornblower

“A sandwich”

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Calzones are tacos.

1
Beerguyrob

I thought tacos were deconstructed burgers.

0
Mr. Ayo

This UFC fight reminds me of middle school dances.

Lot’s of dancing, no action, no scoring, and tons of regret.

3
Horatio Cornblower

Every time I’m watching it my wife comes in during some match that has just degenerated into nothing but wrestle-fucking, looks at the TV and says “more gay porn, I see”, and leaves.

6
BugEyedBoo

Goddamn that was boring. I don’t watch a lot of UFC, and shit like that doesn’t make me want to seek out more.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am dreading that the Dr. Mrs. “made dinner” which will consist of a “salad” featuring both raw and roasted vegetables.

-1
ballsofsteelandfury

Are they tossed?

1
Mr. Ayo

Or moist? Hopefully not flakey.

1
Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Last edited 5 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The frustrating thing is that we have the ingredients for a pretty nice chicken salad. Lettuce, tomato, chicken, croutons. But she’s going to add broccoli and kale and beets to it, I just know it.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Beets are good, though.

4
SonOfSpam

Unless you’re enjoying overpriced rapper headphones and you misspelled them, you are incorrect. THEY ARE ALSO NOT A SANDWICH.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Beets *are* good. I just don’t see the need to combine all the components of every meal into a single dish.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, a good beet salad, with greens and some tiny oranges, (mandarins, maybe?) is really good. I’m not sure I’ve ever had them with a kitchen sink approach, but I am against anything involving kale.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kale can be okay if you treat it like collard greens.

1
Horatio Cornblower

You mean throw it to the side while you attack your brisket like it insulted your wife?

I concur.

4
Doktor Zymm

This is exactly how my mother cooks and I am comforted to hear about this mild conflict playing out identically elsewhere

1
SonOfSpam

That is not dinner. That is pre-dinner.

2
Horatio Cornblower

I would absolutely start grilling hamburgers after that came out as the main course.

2
SonOfSpam

Or call a pizza place, whatevs.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s fair play, to be honest. I made it clear to her that if I cook, we’ll eat what I feel like cooking. Same rules apply to her, unfortunately.

2
SonOfSpam

Yes, that is true. Then again, she should do what you want since you’re the ma-

(gets winged by frying pan thrown from 50 feet away)

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Those Sydney Cummings workouts really work at building upper body strength.

2
Horatio Cornblower

At our house I eat whatever my wife cooks, unless I don’t like it, in which case I fire up the grill or order something. If I cook we wind up going out for dinner, because I have burned the house down.

1
Horatio Cornblower

(My wife is actually a really good cook. I feel like I should make that clear)
((She’s from Niagara Falls, you wouldn’t know her))

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

She used to live on Clifton Hill, right?

1
Horatio Cornblower

Uhhhhh, yes?

2
litre_cola

Oh, I know her the summer I hung out by the Sev.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently my animals really like Van Halen cause I put “Panama” on and they both came into the garage.

0
SonOfSpam

Just wanted to know where the skunk was.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Gotta love SexiMexi Lesser Footy. Premier League teams? Sponsored by entire countries, multinational banks, and Middle Eastern airlines. Cruz Azul? The local fucking cement company, buddy.

3
SonOfSpam

Ice Rams come back from 3-0 to tie Ice Vikings!

Plus: Ice Vikings’ goalie is Kahkonen, pronounced Cock-on-in.

Last edited 5 years ago by SonOfSpam
2
SonOfSpam

Heading to OverExtraSuddenDeath10thInningTime!

1
SonOfSpam

and Ice Rams lose with 0.3 seconds left in OT.

One point is good I guess.

/kicks puppy

0
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s so Kings.

1
SonOfSpam

Still better than expected this season, but yeah.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I gave up on roundball and am watching Disenchantment instead.

1
litre_cola

RTD, I know where you live. Adopt a SecksiMexi futbol club and you will have gained 100k friends (plus food!). Million enemies but whatevs. Blue Cruise plays Ponce right now should be really good.

Or Jets Habs.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Did The Rock get all of his relatives jobs in WWE after he left?

0
litre_cola

You will not besmirch a Calgary Stampeders legend!

2
Horatio Cornblower

I respect the hell out what The Rock did. Guy’s made a mint out of being a pro wrestler and I actually like him as an actor. But I think he has three cousins and a sister on the WWE roster now.

1
SonOfSpam

Rockpotism.

4
Redshirt

Not just him though. His entire family is wrestlers. While the Hart and Rhodes families focus on quality, the Anoa’i family focus on quantity.

Anoa’i family – Wikipedia

Last edited 5 years ago by Redshirt
1
ballsofsteelandfury

For RTD:

https://am.ticketmaster.com/adelaide/global#/

It’s a hell of a deal when you consider that’s in Australian dollars.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Or for Essendon:

https://am.ticketmaster.com/essendon/athome#/

0
Horatio Cornblower

If I was a boxer looking to hire a trainer and the guy I was interviewing was named Sugar Hill, he’s got the job right there.

1
litre_cola

Wasnt Sugar Hill a chick R and B band in the 90s?

0
Horatio Cornblower

I thought it was a record company or producer, but I’m a 50+ year old white male so, much like Bill Simmons, no one should take anything I say about R&B or rap as authoritative.

0
litre_cola

As a 40 year old white man I do not stand by my comment, unless it is about Heavy D, the man is a legend.

0
Dunstan

That was a Level 2 Stomach Punch comment, like when Mr. Miyagi scared off the Cobra Kai guys, as I was discussing with my good friend Jimmy Kimmel the other day. We agreed that nobody denies this.

3
Horatio Cornblower

Christ, he’s such a (insanely rich) asshole.

1
Dunstan

I can’t remember the last time I read something he wrote, and I certainly don’t listen to his podcast. For all I know, he’s retired all that shtick I just mocked and my comment is as stale as what I was mocking.

1
Horatio Cornblower

It’s been a long while for me as well, but last time I checked in he was still very much at it.

I do give him credit for whatever it was he did to make the 30 for 30 series happen. That’s about the only reason to watch ESPN these days.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, ESPN

[buffering…]

has really

[buffering…]

gone

[buffering…]

downhill

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

It was the sugar Hill gang

3
litre_cola

Thank you 40’s white man from Ontario.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Touché

0
Horatio Cornblower

The fight on Fox is getting very entertaining.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– traitors, January 6th 2011

2
Horatio Cornblower

If the first thing you do after waking up from a pre-game nap is grab a Coors Light, that’s not a cute superstition, that’s a cry for help.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And a rather loud one, at that.

1
blaxabbath

I don’t understand how like 3% coors adequately meets the needs of an addict.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I guess you want to ease into it after you just wake up.

0
litre_cola

If you need a drink after waking up. Jamesons is your answer.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

To paraphrase Beavis, I’m not paying for ESPN3 to lock up and start buffering every six seconds.

0
Dunstan

Oh, so it’s not just my shitty internet connection?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Mine cut out too. ESPN3 sucks balls.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I’m not paying for ESPN3.

And, done.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I’m just watching, sorry, TRYING TO WATCH because it’s included in my streaming package.

0
Horatio Cornblower

No worries, I don’t kink shame.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I do, but I have an incredibly high threshold for what I consider “kink” so it rarely happens.

0
rockingdog

found a funny:

Why don’t they just make the whole table out of coaster?

2
litre_cola

Whoever the gentleman or gentlelady that introduced me to the band Kyuss. Thanks. Very good.

2
litre_cola

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnTW7yqtyxk

0
blaxabbath

A little surprised the [DFO] roster doesn’t have a BonerChamp, even deep down in the prospects….

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Can we combine “cheapest genic viagra” with “viagra coupon” and get it, like, free?

We can also buy in bulk to get a better price

1
Doktor Zymm

If they aren’t paying me it’s a ripoff

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to skip my workout tonight because I am feeling lethargic, but the reason I am feeling lethargic is because I took a nap. I have literally done nothing today other than make breakfast burritos. And I mean nothing. I didn’t even water the garden.

5
blaxabbath

California livin

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (artist’s conception):
comment image

Last edited 5 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
3
Gumbygirl

I made the bed? And bacon and eggs for brunch. Filled the birdfeeders. That’s about it, not gonna lie!

1
Gumbygirl

Update: I am fixing to empty the dishwasher. Film at 11.

3
Horatio Cornblower

I worked out for you. That’s the good news. The bad news is that now you’ve got a sore muscle in your ass and it hurts to walk, because you’re on the wrong side of 50 and today included a leg workout.

The really good news is that tomorrow’s an off day and it’s supposed to rain, so helloooooooo video games.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What sites were people using for football streaming during the season? Maybe they will have AFLW broadcasts.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

It would appear not

https://sports24.stream/

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

But $150 for all the AFL and AFLW games is a good deal, so just become a digital member.

1
litre_cola

The site I use does. Check slack.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Could be worse than bots. Could be CPAC attendees

0
BaldingSpiritually

If they fight each other with hammers and saws I’d subscribe

2
Senor Weaselo

All I can say about the names of these bots is “come on, fhqwhgads…”

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t forget the full slate of AFLW games (all times Pacific):

6 PM – Adelaide v St. Kilda
8 PM – Collinwood v Melbourne
10 PM – West Coast v Gold Coast

0
BaldingSpiritually

Any streams available? Only sites I know of are for US sports

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh man, it would be *awesome* if I could find a stream of the Adelaide game.

1
Mr. Ayo

There are many of us here with Watch AFL subscriptions.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not me, though. I am stuck watching a spanish language broadcast of Mavericks vs. Rust Castle Denizens.

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Found a stream. Woooooooooooooooo

1
Horatio Cornblower

Absolutely cannot wait to see how the NCAA contorts themselves to get Duke into the tournament. So far my best guess is an incredible run to the ACC tournament title, helped along by some extremely debatable calls at critical moments.

Last edited 5 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Followed by a matchup against what should be a 16 seed who magically got put into the slot opposite Duke, giving them an easy 1st round win to justify their selection.

1
herodotus450

Oh I see how it is, the DFO upper class is hogging all the cheap free viagra for themselves!

8
Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so proud of something I was responsible for, and I’m including the birth of my children.

2
Dunstan

Mrs. Cornblower delivers side-eye.

3
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