NFL Notes:
Well, it was Big Money Monday as the legal “tampering period” for talking to free agents began this morning. Let’s see what’s what: (note: all deals are official at 4:01pm ET on Wednesday, when the new league year starts.) 
- Kevin Zeitler agreed to a three-year, $22 million deal with the Ravens.
- Jonnu Smith got a four-year deal from the Patriots, terms undisclosed.
- Matthew Judon also got a four-year deal from the Patriots, worth $56 million.
- Romeo Okwara is staying with the Lions on three-year, $39M deal.
- Brady’s deal last week means Shaquil Barrett is returning to Buccaneers on a four-year, $72 million deal.
- Kyle Juszczyk will stay in San Francisco, getting a five-year, $27 million deal.
- The Chargers will make Corey Linsley the highest-paid center in the league with a five-year, $62.5 million deal.
- Now-former Rams safety John Johnson will be signing with the Browns on a 3-year, $33.75 million deal.
- The Denver Broncos are keeping DL Shelby Harris on a three-year, $27 million deal.
And, some teams are working to free up cap space in order to make signings happen:
- The Chiefs are restructuring the contracts of Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, and Chris Jones.
- The proposed bonus & deferral payments will free up $20 million in cap space for 2021.
- Because the three of them alone were nearly $60 million against the cap, almost 1/3 of the total $182.5 million available to all teams.
- Which has led to signing former Patriots OL Joe Thuney to a 5-year, $80 million deal.
- The proposed bonus & deferral payments will free up $20 million in cap space for 2021.
- The Eagles are restructuring & extending Brandon Graham.
- He is due $13 million in 2021, and has a cap-hit of $17.9 million.
- It will keep him an Eagle through 2022.
Other league-year tidbits:
- Drew Brees officially retired.
- He made the announcement yesterday, because it marked 15 years since he signed his free agent tender with the Saints.
- Which is why the Saints then re-upped Taysom Hill to a four-year, $140 million deal.
- Meaning at least $14 million for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
- Meaning at least $14 million for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
- Which is why the Saints then re-upped Taysom Hill to a four-year, $140 million deal.
- Brees is going to NBC to be a Sunday Night Football in-studio analyst, and to join NBC’s Notre Dame coverage.
- He made the announcement yesterday, because it marked 15 years since he signed his free agent tender with the Saints.
- JuJu Smith-Schuster isn’t returning to the Steelers.
- He wants $15 million per year, but in a down market isn’t likely to find a long-term deal for 2021.
- And he made his feelings pretty clear:
Is the @TeamJuJu era over in Pittsburgh? 🤔
(via @Kaitlin_OToole) pic.twitter.com/YozPkWoXkf
— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) March 11, 2021
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Philadelphia vs NY Rangers – 7:00pm | NBCSN
- Boston vs Pittsburgh – 7:00pm | Sportsnet
- Edmonton vs Calgary – 9:00pm | Sportsnet1
- NBA:
- NY Knicks vs Brooklyn – 8:00pm | ESPN / TSN4
LA Clippers vs Dallas 9:00pm –
Indiana vs Denver 9:00pm –
Memphis vs Phoenix 10:00pm –
LA Lakers vs Golden State – 10:30pm | ESPN / TSN4
- NY Knicks vs Brooklyn – 8:00pm | ESPN / TSN4
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360
- the “go home” show before Fastlane this Sunday.
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360
I’m sure there will be more money flowing tomorrow, so enjoy watching your team shoot its wad on a likely disappointment.
It’s Beach Boy and noted asshole Mike Love Birthday today
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tkOv-SUTiPg
Lady BFC is watching a Pitch Perfect in the other room; I have a sexual harassment training playing while i try and knock out the second of two memos for the night. How did I get here?
Just remember to let the water hold you down.
We need to figure out a way to kill the Mod Bot. This is getting annoying.
One beer down, two memos to go.
I should send you some essays to mark.
I switched from beer to scotch so bring it on.
Bengals got Saints DE Trey Hendrickson for 4yrs/$60M. I’ll miss Lawson, but at least they responded and showed they’re opening the purse.
Now about keeping Joe Burrow’s jersey clean and his knees intact…
It’s right at 50 years since I bought the 45 of this song. In honor of today’s date. Pretty pervy lyrics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiLaNEFyCiM
Love this song so very much.
I think it’s the song that awakened a love of brass in my rock and roll (Zappa, Chicago, Oingo Boingo, etc) that has never lessened.
And this, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9U34uPjz-g
And this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9U34uPjz-g
I post everything twice!!!
And now the youtubes I posted are “awaiting for approval,” which I don’t think is proper grammar.
Pbthhh
gross, open a window
When did DFO become a church?
Well, we do have a Matron Saint.
And molestations are both plentiful and covered up.
Fitzmagic to the Football Team!
Brilliant.
Wow, good move by the FT because he went to Harvard. Most people don’t know that.
The hell you say.
LOL
I remember that this was the operational thought process when it looked like the Highly Hated Karl Malone might end up with the Spurs instead of the Lakers, where he did end up Motherfucker used an elbow to put the Admiral to sleep on the floor, and there were motherfuckers here that were willing to accept that.
The Patriots have reportedly signed Nelson Agholor.
That’s it. That’s the joke.
Babies who intend to fall out of windows in Boston this year need to rethink their plans.
I mean, Clapton’s playing there in the fall.
Hold my beer.
?w=960
—MJ
“Did sahmbahdy say sumpin’ about puttin’ babies in truhble? Hold mah littl’un!” – Britney Spears
Look, the kid’s not gonna learn to drive by itself, OK.
Leave Britney alone!
Good air bag, because the head is still soft.
Which one?
(Jesus juice)
+1000 for tithe joke! I once had a work thing with a church and the manager told me: “This is built on gifts and generosity. Unbelievable, right?” It filed for bankruptcy two months later.
I’m seeing double — four of this post!
And now I refreshed the thread and all the double comments are gone. Never mind…
The leader of this team of doctors was a dignified, solicitous gentleman who held one finger up directly in front of Yossarian and demanded, ‘How many fingers do you see?’
‘Two,’ said Yossarian.
‘How many fingers do you see now?’ asked the doctor, holding up two.
‘Two,’ said Yossarian.
‘And how many now?’ asked the doctor, holding up none.
‘Two,’ said Yossarian.
The doctor’s face wreathed with a smile. ‘By Jove, he’s right,’ he declared jubilantly. ‘He does see everything twice!’
I try. Thanks.
Bengals DE Carl Lawson went to the Jets. When a player chooses the New York Jets over your team…
Keyshawn Johnson announced on Twitter that his daughter Maia (25) passed away. No word as to the cause of death.
The last episode of the DuckTales reboot has more Easter Eggs than Easter.
Is the theme still “You Make My Dreams Come True” by Hall & Oates?
No, its “Let’s Shove as Much of the Disney Afternoon as We Can into 90 minutes Without Getting Sued”. They even got Keith David to voice a Goliath-expy.
Now re-tooling with “Troy & Abed in a Poooooodcast!”
Well, close enough.
We also would have accepted “more Easter Eggs than an Andy Reid Easter omelette”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvvaZCuvHnc
Watching tennis and the Canadian kid is playing against a guy name Tennys Sandgren.
Better than Tennys Ennyone.
Tennys El Bow.
Tennys Brae Slett
Hope he doesn’t betray Jon Snow.
Always happy to see Sandgren lose. He is… shall we say, alt-right curious?
Tennys Sandgren needs to own what he’s all about (theundefeated.com)
I had no idea he existed, however I do not think a dude named Tennys was brought up in Erie, Pennsylvania with his folks working at the mill.
Apparently it was a family name and had nothing to do with either the sport or his home state (Tennessee).
I bet his parents tried to name him Tennessee but because they are a product of the state’s educational system they misspelled it badly.
Actually, his parents are South African expats.
I know, it’s shocking that a man raised and homeschooled in Tennessee by parents who left South Africa around the time when apartheid was ending would turn out to be a guy who plays footsie with white nationalists. I know I was stunned to find out.
Lots of pale skinned people with nordic last names changed the face of Argentinian politics starting in 1946 or so.
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>If it’s a republican partisan recall than how come all my friends who are democrats despise you as a human being and Governor? <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/liar?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#liar</a> <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/RecallGavin2020?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>#RecallGavin2020</a> <a href=”https://t.co/CCafIh9t5S”>https://t.co/CCafIh9t5S</a></p>— Mike Matusow (@themouthmatusow) <a href=”https://twitter.com/themouthmatusow/status/1371591974239662080?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>March 15, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>
This is like me saying that all my girlfriends who are Victoria’s Secret models also despise Newsom and support the recall.
Funnily enough my girlfriends who are all Pornhub “Verified Amateurs” are OK with Newsom, but man they think Andrew Cuomo is a fuckstick
It is possible these girls have a different definition of “fuck stick” than the average person?
I refuse to believe that Mike Matusow has friends of any political persuasion.
Like he has any friends. Sheesh!
So our town’s rescue squad had the balls to raise a blue lives matter flag beneath the American flag. Still deciding how much hell to raise over this.
What’s a “rescue squad”?
You should call the station directly to complain about it. And then when they say that you are tying up the line for real emergencies, point out they probably didn’t have much of a problem with this before they put up their little “I love fascism” flag.
Nothing says “we respect the American flag” like recoloring the American flag to use it for political purposes.
I’m glad my great uncle, whose remains are lost somewhere in Vietnam so his family never got to put him to rest or even get closure really, is resting comfortably knowing the flag he died for is flying above a bastardized version of it.
Reading that infuriated me.
There was a house with a flag pole about a mile from here that had a TRUMP 2020 flag raised over the US flag, with a “Don’t Tread On Me” banner under that, and a “US ARMY VETERAN” flag coming up fourth.
That’s not how it works.
Across the street neighbor left his Trump banners on his fence until the moment Joe was inaugurated. His flagpole now flies an upside-down American flag over the Gadsden “pile of dogshit” flag 24-7. Not illuminated, as called for by the US Flag code. I need to leave a note, “please stop disrespecting the flag and comply with the code.” Assholes.
Boy, I hate to see the look on your face when you find out he did that is because he’s in desperate need for help, so he’s flying the flag upside down, which is the universal sign for distress.
He’s being held hostage by vegan leftists.
Somali Pirates have made their way inland!
“Look at me. I am captain now.”
My liberal cousin-in-law in Massachusetts flew his US flag upside down for the last four years, so yeah, I know what that’s about.
I live amongst Blue Lives Matter folks, and I want to create and fly a Pepperoni Lives Matter flag to draw attention to the more dangerous job of pizza delivery. But I’m not sure how the black passerby will feel about it.
Only do that if you can guarantee that you will never need to call your town’s rescue squad for any reason.
Those fuckers can hold a grudge longer than the Irish.
b91.jpg (617×426) (kym-cdn.com)
I’m part Irish and Scottish. I’m allowed to post this.
Irish, German and Danish-Norwegian.
My very existence is a microaggression and just daring the Sun to kill me.
/rubbing Chinese chicken balls in Buffalo sauce because my fridge broke down and I’ve done a shit-ton of takeout over the last five days. Try to get on my level!
I’ve eaten several different meals in my car in the Packing Lot during this COVID-19 Outbreak using my towel as a dropcloth.
I’m not certain if that bragging or a cry for help.
“It’s a cry for help. Seriously.”
-The “Why not both?” girl
I hope that’s a typo, because I really don’t want to paint myself a mental picture of a “Packing Lot.”
All bets are off when your fridge is broken. You do you
Agreed. When the power went out for three days, we threw everything on the gas grill and ate like kings and queens. To this day, that was the best eggs and biscuits and gravy I’ve ever had.
I had to eat a PBJ last week for breakfast and lunch. On rye bread!
I did not read “Chinese chicken” at first and was very confused.
Just joined a March Madness pool. Hartford going all the way is a lock right?
Kidding. Hartford doesn’t deserve anything nice
All the way to Raleigh, maybe.
*Sad bonanza*
Well we all know Horatio loves and respects Syracuse.
It’s a town that has no reason to exist. And I have relatives there.
I will murder the both of you and not lose a second’s sleep over it.
OK, that seems a little harsh reading it over. I would probably lose a little sleep over it.
/cries self to sleep in tune with ‘Brass Bonanza’
Joke’s on you, smart guy: Hartford doesn’t have anything nice.
Senators are out-shooting the Canucks 19-9 and are down 2-0. NO, YOU SHUT UP!
I guess the changed the definition of “shot on goal” to “a shot made towards the side where the goal is”.
That’s the lesser footy term!
First day of Spring Break:
WineWife: Did you do ANYTHING today?
Beerguyrob: I changed shorts.
Getting out of bed counts
I don’t remember him saying anything about having gotten out of bed.
Undershorts or overshorts?
Both! It’s called “multitasking “.
found a funny:
merlin: you pulled the sword from the stone? my liege what is your first order
arthur: table
merlin: what
arthur: [an inch away from his face] and you better make that shit a circle
Silly place.
A very silly place.
Well, it’s only a model.
Man, I get loaded faster than this site lately.
Still faster than a baseball game.
Agholor to New England too
Oh no! The boys at the That’s My Raiders! house are going to be heartbroken.
Winter never leaves Cincinnati gracefully; it just tensefully slowly closes the door but before it laches, the DoorFliesOpen™ with Winter going “AND ANOTHER THING…!“
I think you should get some sort of prize for working the site name gracefully! Vanna, what do you have for Redshirt?
Boo. This. Man.
Are tithes before or after taxes?
Before – “render unto Caesar…”