One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday. Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated into arguments with strangers over who would be the best Saturday cartoon character to have sex with, (and now we all know how that would go), or some other equally inane topic, all of which were still more important than that TPS report deadline your boss was yelling about. Good times.
Well, it’s been long enough. Especially after that hiatus I took when we couldn’t log on and comment because of some issue involving the server, the Russians, Keebler elves, or something. Anyway, that’s resolved, and big thanks to Internet Dad and everyone else who worked tirelessly and without pay to provide our continuing free entertainment. Anyway, after a discussion in the back channels yours truly is bringing it back, with some slight rule changes. The old site had 4-5 main contributors, one of whom may not have been real. So they’d do 2-3 rounds themselves, then kick it to the kommentariat to draft whatever was left over. You can do that when you’ve only taken 10-15 of whatever topic was up for drafting. We, however, are a much more connected group when it comes to the writin’ and draftin’ of things, so if we did that we’d easily take out 30-50 before we threw the bedraggled leftovers to our beloved readership. That’s no fun. So these drafts, which I expect to last as long as I remember to do them, (2-3 weeks), will just leap right into it.
Also, for content and alliteration reasons, we’ve moved the draft to Monday mornings, so get ready to kill your productivity right from the start.
Yours in the comments, first come, first served. For now, please wait 10 picks or 30 minutes before making another one. That will be revised up or down depending on how much participation we get, which I hope will be a lot.
This week’s category is, again, one that was actually done at KSK, and frankly I was holding back on it because it’s not original to the concepts of mock drafts at all, and because I figured I could whip it out, (Phrasing!), some time that I was really stuck for an idea. Then I spent the better part of the day putting Version 2.0 of the Mock Draft together and kind of forgot about this and frankly I’m a little too burned out to do much more than the usual cut-and-paste above.
You’re on a desert island, you can bring one record with you. It just has to be an entire album/CD, no singles. Go. Whoever gets here first gets the first pick. I know what I would take, but I can’t go taking the first pick all the time.
Final pick. Talking Heads “Fear of Music.”
Is there some sort of instructional album that teaches you about building essential survival equipment in song form? Preferably on CD so I can also use it to start fires and as a signal mirror.
I think my third pick was better than my second pick and possibly better than my first pick. So what the hell, last pick is No Doubt’s Tragic Kingdom
Some genius took Patton Oswalt down below, so to break up the monotony with something other than music, I’ll take this guy’s classic:
I remember growing up listening to and loving my dad’s copy of this, his Tom Lehrer albums, and, uh, his Bill Cos…. never mind.
Last one, honest. Another I had on cassette and listened to over and over…
For my third pick, I’m going with Doggystyle by Snoop Dogg. I give him shit for wearing the jerseys of every team on the planet, but that album was genius and the little pieces in between the songs were hilarious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHqZ87xld2Q
IMO, their finest hour, even if ‘2541’ belonged on the album instead of that fucking song about cat guts or whatever.
Another late, great band from Austin. We hardly knew ye, Spankers…
Nothing from Canuckistan’s best? Ok, let’s make it a live album (by a hair over Moving Pictures)
I’m just going to put in my last 2 picks and call it a day.
Song Review: A Greatest Hits Collection – Stevie Wonder
Soundtrack to Smokey & The Bandit
You all have a great day.
Smokey & The Bandit is a great choice.
Btw, we’ve all kind of read “one album” as pick five, right?
The Howells packed an entire wardrobe and trunks full of cash for a 3 hour tour. A few CDs seems reasonable.
I blame Gumbygirl for bringing in the chaos. Her plan worked too well, even before she got here.
Yeah baby yeah
So he says to me, he says to me, ‘maybe I’m tired of workin’ for the man!” And I says, I says, “well, then… then why don’t you blow ’em to bits?!’
Not me. I only picked one. If I’d have had a second pick I’d have gone with Appetite for Destruction because a) it’s a pretty good album and b) it’s got a section in Rocket Queen I could jerk off to in a pinch, which is a very important quality if I’m going to be stuck on a desert island with no pornography.
Anybody take Miles Davis Kind of Blue? I’ll take it.
Great, great album.
Undervalued pick. Excellent choice.
Listened to this album over and over when I got it. (On cassette) Good stuff all the way through.
Branford Marsalis once liked a tweet of mine. It was an image of Ann Ramsey saying that she was voting for Joe Biden because he wasn’t trying to kill her.
Album the Third – “Alive” by KISS. A guilty pleasure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4Ci9ifIBn4
Fleetwood Mac – Rumors
A great album at the time, but watching Al and Tipper dancing to this has proven bleach-proof.
I have no idea what you are talking about thanks to Sean Lee and Trent Green’s patented process “We can forget it for you wholesale”
Since I know have a bunch of things I think I have forgotten to do, one last pick – any Black Keys album.
The do offer movie specials for Highlander and Jaws sequels.
Man, I miss these guys. Wish they would still tour once in a while.
Their version of Gin & Juice was my go to at the local dive bar jukebox.
They were great live. There were quite a few covers they did that I liked more than the original. Here’s a fun one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FHv4biS5_0
Sadly I only discovered them after they’d gone on hiatus. Never had the chance to see them live.
Tough to pick the best Tom Waits, but this feels right (like rubbing a vinegar-soaked cheese grater up against one’s scrote)
That one, or Frank’s Wild Years. Can’t go wrong.
Should have gone with Small Change; the image of boobies is worth a lot more on that desert island.
In that case “Whipped Cream and Other Delights” would be on my list.
Gram Parsons: Old GP/ Grievous Angel CD double album
My favorite “The Band” album.
I can do without listening to Layla ever again (more played on “classic rock” stations, this or Freebird?) but the rest of the songs are all great. Eric Clapton, Duane Allman, Bobby Whitlock and pounds of cocaine.
Great pick. https://www.whereseric.com/eric-clapton-news/303-layla-sessions-look-back
That was a good read. Thanks.
You betcha. Glad you liked it. I found it interesting as well.
Commissioner’s Note: Cocaine not included on island. You must bring your own.
5th pick, because I’m so good at this:
Beck – Midnight Vultures
It’s a blend of manic funk and 70’s imagery. Dissonant notes and horns that wail out in dance moves. There are little fucks given with this album, which makes it so good.
Album the Second – “Van Halen”, by Van Halen.
Nothing needs to be said.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REtGa3L0XXg
How the fuck am I this late to the draft and still get the #1 Pick?
Two discs of Hendrix magic.
Literally my next pick.
Like the Bears, i wasted my second choice.
Should have gone with Electric Ladyland with the original sexy album cover.
The version of Midnight Rambler on this is pretty heavy. Rest is great as well. I love live albums…
Yeah baby yeah!
I’m here to disrupt the draft!
And so he says to me, ‘you wanna be a bad guy?’ And I say, ‘yeah, baby! I wanna be bad!’ And I says, ‘surf’s up, space ponies! I’m making gravy without the lumps!’ Aaaaahahahahahaha!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oHvda8ZMBc
My 2nd favorite Tick character.
Phew, still on the board–
The Last Waltz live album by The Band and all the awesome guests.
Because many years ago I was in a small beach bar in Cancún and they played this album nonstop:
Bob Marley – Legend
Album the first – “The Village Green Preservation Society” by The Kinks
It’s music to listen to, fall asleep to, and slowly die to. A perfect album.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL40xdWb-2paezlG0eNJH6EuYDqIaZb3nj
1969: Good ‘ol Lou & the Velvets. Good live stuff.
Dammit, the page thing came back. I thought that was part of the upgrade, oh well!
4th pick, Weird Al box set Squeeze Box. All his songs are included.
I like Weird Al fine but having only his music to listen to would be absolute torture.
You are stranded on a an island, probably with birds and snakes and crabs and other communicable diseases. You will die of dysentery. The only thing that you need is a good laugh because THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!
Maybe we wanna have dancing on the desert island…
I see you’re taking the “If I Go Mad, I Won’t Mind The Isolation” approach
Oh, shit, i just remembered what i should have picked. Do i really have to wait another 22 minutes if I’ve only picked twice?
Whatever, I’m really mailing this one in.
Fuck it, I’ll take the Dazed and Confused soundtrack
Excellent pick, though.
Does it have this song with “Jesus” in it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3hBYTkI-sE
Their album cover came back from the printers wrong, lacking punctuation.
It was supposed to read: “Jesus, Use Me!”