Monday Morning Mock Draft: Chapter The Eighth

One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday. Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated into arguments with strangers over who would be the best Saturday cartoon character to have sex with, (and now we all know how that would go), or some other equally inane topic, all of which were still more important than that TPS report deadline your boss was yelling about. Good times.

Well, it’s been long enough. Especially after that hiatus I took when we couldn’t log on and comment because of some issue involving the server, the Russians, Keebler elves, or something. Anyway, that’s resolved, and big thanks to Internet Dad and everyone else who worked tirelessly and without pay to provide our continuing free entertainment. Anyway, after a discussion in the back channels yours truly is bringing it back, with some slight rule changes. The old site had 4-5 main contributors, one of whom may not have been real. So they’d do 2-3 rounds themselves, then kick it to the kommentariat to draft whatever was left over. You can do that when you’ve only taken 10-15 of whatever topic was up for drafting. We, however, are a much more connected group when it comes to the writin’ and draftin’ of things, so if we did that we’d easily take out 30-50 before we threw the bedraggled leftovers to our beloved readership. That’s no fun. So these drafts, which I expect to last as long as I remember to do them, (2-3 weeks), will just leap right into it.

Also, for content and alliteration reasons, we’ve moved the draft to Monday mornings, so get ready to kill your productivity right from the start.

Yours in the comments, first come, first served. For now, please wait 10 picks or 30 minutes before making another one. That will be revised up or down depending on how much participation we get, which I hope will be a lot.

This week’s category is, again, one that was actually done at KSK, and frankly I was holding back on it because it’s not original to the concepts of mock drafts at all, and because I figured I could whip it out, (Phrasing!), some time that I was really stuck for an idea. Then I spent the better part of the day putting Version 2.0 of the Mock Draft together and kind of forgot about this and frankly I’m a little too burned out to do much more than the usual cut-and-paste above.

You’re on a desert island, you can bring one record with you. It just has to be an entire album/CD, no singles. Go. Whoever gets here first gets the first pick. I know what I would take, but I can’t go taking the first pick all the time.

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
192 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
yeah right

Final pick. Talking Heads “Fear of Music.”

Doktor Zymm

Is there some sort of instructional album that teaches you about building essential survival equipment in song form? Preferably on CD so I can also use it to start fires and as a signal mirror.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think my third pick was better than my second pick and possibly better than my first pick. So what the hell, last pick is No Doubt’s Tragic Kingdom

Viva La Tabula Raza

I remember growing up listening to and loving my dad’s copy of this, his Tom Lehrer albums, and, uh, his Bill Cos…. never mind.

BeefReeferLives

Last one, honest. Another I had on cassette and listened to over and over… comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

For my third pick, I’m going with Doggystyle by Snoop Dogg. I give him shit for wearing the jerseys of every team on the planet, but that album was genius and the little pieces in between the songs were hilarious.
comment image

Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
BeefReeferLives

Another late, great band from Austin. We hardly knew ye, Spankers…comment image

SonOfSpam

Nothing from Canuckistan’s best? Ok, let’s make it a live album (by a hair over Moving Pictures)
comment image

TheRevanchist

I’m just going to put in my last 2 picks and call it a day.

Song Review: A Greatest Hits Collection – Stevie Wonder

Soundtrack to Smokey & The Bandit

You all have a great day.

Beerguyrob

Smokey & The Bandit is a great choice.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw, we’ve all kind of read “one album” as pick five, right?

Warthog

The Howells packed an entire wardrobe and trunks full of cash for a 3 hour tour. A few CDs seems reasonable.

TheRevanchist

I blame Gumbygirl for bringing in the chaos. Her plan worked too well, even before she got here.

Gumbygirl

Yeah baby yeah
So he says to me, he says to me, ‘maybe I’m tired of workin’ for the man!” And I says, I says, “well, then… then why don’t you blow ’em to bits?!’

Evilmidnightbomber.png
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not me. I only picked one. If I’d have had a second pick I’d have gone with Appetite for Destruction because a) it’s a pretty good album and b) it’s got a section in Rocket Queen I could jerk off to in a pinch, which is a very important quality if I’m going to be stuck on a desert island with no pornography.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anybody take Miles Davis Kind of Blue? I’ll take it.

Warthog

Great, great album.

Beerguyrob

Undervalued pick. Excellent choice.

BeefReeferLives

Listened to this album over and over when I got it. (On cassette) Good stuff all the way through.comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Branford Marsalis once liked a tweet of mine. It was an image of Ann Ramsey saying that she was voting for Joe Biden because he wasn’t trying to kill her.

Beerguyrob

Album the Third – “Alive” by KISS. A guilty pleasure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4Ci9ifIBn4

ArmedandHammered

Fleetwood Mac – Rumors

Warthog

A great album at the time, but watching Al and Tipper dancing to this has proven bleach-proof.

ArmedandHammered

I have no idea what you are talking about thanks to Sean Lee and Trent Green’s patented process “We can forget it for you wholesale”

ArmedandHammered

Since I know have a bunch of things I think I have forgotten to do, one last pick – any Black Keys album.

ArmedandHammered

The do offer movie specials for Highlander and Jaws sequels.

BeefReeferLives

Man, I miss these guys. Wish they would still tour once in a while. comment image

BeefReeferLives

They were great live. There were quite a few covers they did that I liked more than the original. Here’s a fun one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FHv4biS5_0

SonOfSpam

Tough to pick the best Tom Waits, but this feels right (like rubbing a vinegar-soaked cheese grater up against one’s scrote)
comment image

Gumbygirl

That one, or Frank’s Wild Years. Can’t go wrong.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Should have gone with Small Change; the image of boobies is worth a lot more on that desert island.

BeefReeferLives

In that case “Whipped Cream and Other Delights” would be on my list.

nomonkeyfun

Gram Parsons: Old GP/ Grievous Angel CD double album
comment image

BeefReeferLives

My favorite “The Band” album. comment image

comment image

Warthog

I can do without listening to Layla ever again (more played on “classic rock” stations, this or Freebird?) but the rest of the songs are all great. Eric Clapton, Duane Allman, Bobby Whitlock and pounds of cocaine.

comment image

Last edited 3 years ago by Warthog
BeefReeferLives
Last edited 3 years ago by BeefReeferLives
Warthog

That was a good read. Thanks.

BeefReeferLives

You betcha. Glad you liked it. I found it interesting as well.

TheRevanchist

5th pick, because I’m so good at this:

Beck – Midnight Vultures

It’s a blend of manic funk and 70’s imagery. Dissonant notes and horns that wail out in dance moves. There are little fucks given with this album, which makes it so good.

Beck.jpg
Beerguyrob

Album the Second – “Van Halen”, by Van Halen.

Nothing needs to be said.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REtGa3L0XXg

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

How the fuck am I this late to the draft and still get the #1 Pick?

Hendrix_Voodoo_Child.jpg

Two discs of Hendrix magic.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Literally my next pick.

Like the Bears, i wasted my second choice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Should have gone with Electric Ladyland with the original sexy album cover.

BeefReeferLives

The version of Midnight Rambler on this is pretty heavy. Rest is great as well. I love live albums…

comment image

Gumbygirl

Yeah baby yeah!

Evilmidnightbomber.png
Gumbygirl

I’m here to disrupt the draft!
And so he says to me, ‘you wanna be a bad guy?’ And I say, ‘yeah, baby! I wanna be bad!’ And I says, ‘surf’s up, space ponies! I’m making gravy without the lumps!’ Aaaaahahahahahaha!

Last edited 3 years ago by Gumbygirl
Beerguyrob
ArmedandHammered

My 2nd favorite Tick character.

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Phew, still on the board–

The Last Waltz live album by The Band and all the awesome guests.

ballsofsteelandfury

Because many years ago I was in a small beach bar in Cancún and they played this album nonstop:

Bob Marley – Legend

Beerguyrob

Album the first – “The Village Green Preservation Society” by The Kinks

It’s music to listen to, fall asleep to, and slowly die to. A perfect album.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL40xdWb-2paezlG0eNJH6EuYDqIaZb3nj

Last edited 3 years ago by Beerguyrob
BeefReeferLives

1969: Good ‘ol Lou & the Velvets. Good live stuff.comment image

Gumbygirl

Dammit, the page thing came back. I thought that was part of the upgrade, oh well!

TheRevanchist

4th pick, Weird Al box set Squeeze Box. All his songs are included.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like Weird Al fine but having only his music to listen to would be absolute torture.

TheRevanchist

You are stranded on a an island, probably with birds and snakes and crabs and other communicable diseases. You will die of dysentery. The only thing that you need is a good laugh because THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!

SonOfSpam

Maybe we wanna have dancing on the desert island…
comment image

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I see you’re taking the “If I Go Mad, I Won’t Mind The Isolation” approach

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh, shit, i just remembered what i should have picked. Do i really have to wait another 22 minutes if I’ve only picked twice?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck it, I’ll take the Dazed and Confused soundtrack

TheRevanchist

Excellent pick, though.

Brick Meathook

comment image

SonOfSpam

Does it have this song with “Jesus” in it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3hBYTkI-sE

Brick Meathook

Their album cover came back from the printers wrong, lacking punctuation.

It was supposed to read: “Jesus, Use Me!”

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook