So, my casual Sunday, which I thought was going to involve beer, sports, and gardening, turned out instead to be a series of pitstops at home design outlets to look at shower fixtures. Because you can’t spend the type of money WineWife wants to invest in a new bathroom & have the whole concept built around something Moen unloaded onto Home Depot for a sale.
But even at the fancy stores, or maybe because it was the fancy stores, you come across the one piece of equipment that separates the men from the boys. The humble urinal.
Based on Hippo’s Toffee-based piss complaint from earlier today, the timing of this trip seems quite fortunate.
There are so many kinds to get. There are your hands-free options,
there are ones with & without a lid,
your full-sized options, in one of four colours,
and – for the man who misses sporting events and/or going in a group, there’s a trough option available for home or business use.
And don’t get me started on the numerous bidet options that were available.
It was a truly eye-opening experience, and my behaviour today – while considered by some in the same car to be “childish” and “embarrassing” – ensures I no longer have to enjoin any further adventures in this area. I earned my beer.
And thanks to today’s adventure, I now have options to purchase for where to deposit my used beverages in future.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Dallas vs Chicago – 7:00pm | NHLN / Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Mavericks vs. Cavaliers – 7:00pm | TSN3
- New Orleans vs Charlotte – 7:00pm | NBATV / Sportsnet1
- Phoenix vs LA Lakers – 10:00pm | NBATV / Sportsnet1
- MLB:
- Philadelphia at Atlanta – 7:00pm | ESPN / TSN2
- Futbol:
- MLS:
- Austin at Sporting KC – 7:30pm | FS1 / TSN
- MLS:
So I think I actually want to go to work now.
[…] last night’s urinal discussion was a big hit, tonight I inform you that the NHL has partnered with Budweiser to be #UpForGoals in […]
In response to Frau Doktor’s smallest bar, here’s the world’s longest:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA-CzszvRbY&ab_channel=MLive
This is the Beer Barrell Saloon, located in Put-In-Bay, OH. We were there a couple of years ago. Now that I’m off the sauce, I don’t really know what I’m going to do when we go back this August Who am I kidding? I’m going to read, fish, and hustle drunken college trash at pool.
Finally finished watching the replay of GWS-Essendon from Friday….
WOOOOOOOO
Looking at the comments down below, I’m surprised how many of you have forgotten about “The Full Monty” or “Step Brothers”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKB2buwjh1k
The Gumby’s bid you all a good night!
Please do join though: https://camra.org.uk/join/
Nice. Covid delayed my plans, but I hope that I can have a pint of Sammy Smith’s bitter on cask before another year passes…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKtASyCinfc
If you ever search my name and the first result is someone standing by a sunsut/sunrise please just kill me. Thanks.
Classic
Fun Not Well Known Fact: Cutler is peeing.
Well, it would be into sand, so checks out…
That’s Cutler? He looks better from behind.
Right? Not gonna have a jersey for him, but not gonna burn it either
Exhibit A
I would jab that ass, in a totally non-sexual vaccine oriented sort of way
Korean shows go from zero to ninety in a heartbeat. In one scene you have some light comedy like the tenants of a building sneaking around to find some hidden gold, in the next you have the main villain beating a prosecutor to death with a hockey stick, complete with blood spattering and everything.
Yeah, I like real ale, fuck you possibly
Fullers need to send more of their beers over here, not just the London Pride, ESB or Porter
Well done on you finding those, I miss all of them
Ayup. There’s been a shortage here in the PNW as well. The 3 or 4 british-ish pubs in town haven’t had their usual London Pride for the last 4 or 5 months…
Back when I was unsure of my future and taking the actuarial exams, I ended up taking the first exam which is probability in London. I passed and after drank in a Fuller pub with an older Irish gent
Word. Nought like a proper pint o plain.
(& if you like cask ale and are in the Seattle area, Machine House does good work. https://www.machinehousebrewery.com/about/
Can confirm.
Art Deco men’s room, Union Station Hotel, Nashville
Urinals too
I just noticed she’s doing Zymm’s trick. Probably should pull the pants down first!
No! That’s the best part!
To clarify, if you do it well, the whole point is that you don’t have to pull down the pants. You can squirt it like a boy!
There is zero chance I wouldn’t have a giant piss stain on my pants. You are some kind of wizard. Whizard!
Practice makes perfect!
The smallest pub in Manchester is the Circus Tavern, the bar is in the hall, and the ladies is a different building out back. I met some nice chaps who worked the luggage at MAN and it was a lovely afternoon
Tetley’s on cask? Yum.
It is tasties!
Indeed. So mellow & restrained.
I WILL TRAVEL TO PEE ON THINGS I DON’T LIKE
So many graves. So little time.
I don’t pee on the dead
Are you threatening me? What did I do?
If there is a reason I shouldn’t like you and should urinate on you please submit a form to a place.
My bruins fan friends did that to the Bell Center on a trip to Montreal a few years ago.
Good for them!
One night in the Indian Ocean I was on watch and I read the captain’s night orders and they said we would cross the equator at 0015 hrs, 30 minutes after I got off watch. I loaded up with a couple of Tabs so the old bladder would be full at the right time, and pissed over the fantail at as near as I could tell was the right time. So, in addition to swimming across the Bosporus, I have also pissed across the equator (as a moving not stationary target).
Wait, you swam across the Bosphorus???
Yeah. I told the story here before. It was a Boy Scout thing, before there were any bridges. We had escort boats alongside us for the whole time.
Holy shit! I must have missed that. That’s pretty friggen cool!
Yeah, I don’t reckon there’s a whole lot of people on the planet that can claim to have done that.
According to Wikipedia, at its narrowest the Bosporous is 2300 feet wide. Is thatwhere you swam it?
Not quite at that spot; IIRC the currents are extremely strong at that point. I think it was a little south of that spot, but to be honest it’s been nearly 50 years and some of the details are a little fuzzy anymore.
Viva is legit.
You are possibly my favorite person ever.
Ladies can use urinals too, you just pinch in the right place and it goes forward. It’s been ages since I’ve had to pee in places, and it’s almost always easier to squat, but sometimes the shock value is fun
This has never occorred to me! I have done my fair share of squatting, and usually peeing on my own feet. I’ll try it outside someday, but I suspect it will be a disaster. I admire your ingenuity!
Try it in the shower first, it’s not hard to pick up but you will get pee on your hand. But dudes think their hands are clean no matter what, so you good!
This checks out.
Please wash your hands after touching your penis
I wash my hands BEFORE I touch my penis.
Before and After is a Wheel of Fortune Category for a reason
I do wash my hands after but my question is this:
If I took a shower in the morning and my penis hasn’t been anywhere outside of my underwear, shouldn’t it be clean?
So why do you wash your sheets and towels? Bodies emit shit.
Good point
Sage advice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEEnL0bQID8
When my granddad was in his 80s he would tell the tale of the gal he knew back when he was in his 20s in the 1930s that could do just as you describe here. I never asked him about her post-pee hygienics.
Dudes don’t care about the after, pee hands or not, it’s impressive and memorable 😀
And it’s not hard to clean your hand, it’s basically just drying it off….
I’d rank pissers like this:
1. Floor to wall urinal
2. toilet
3. Open field
4. Normal urinal
5. Who’s Next monolith
6. sink
7. Gatorade bottle
8. Your grandpa
9. Trough
10. From the top of a 200 foot lighting tower
What about on a Pissatorium?
I would LOVE to piss here.
Le pissoir est très classy!
I would totally pee in public in Paris
Or in Amsterdam
Yep, the ones on the canals give you a great view.
Yep, I will piss all over that
The only way to avoid eye contact is to stare at the valve and read the patent numbers:
How about this for a urinal. Would you use it?
I love our goalie
I yelled when he stopped that
YES!!
Puebla get Atlas, you get your dad’s Blue Cruise no?
Looks that way! WhooHoo!!
It’s only because of him that we’ve moved on.
Wikipedia says they go to kicks Balls.
Woohoo!
Oh shit! I’m wrong! We’re going to penalties!
Balls, I have to say I love that your team’s #1 sponsor on their kit is……the team’s website.
Watching Dead Presidents and those actors don’t look anywhere near high school age
Beer keg urinal:
This just reinforces that you don’t buy alcohol you just rent it
I love this concept. There’s something very “full circle” about it…
YES!!!!!!!
Yuuuge gol.
Twas a beauty
They are all over yous.
Damn. That was a good ass goal though.
Oooof, that was a hell of a gol, very Fulhamish finish for Toluca.
Decilitre is developping a unibrow. When should I shave the middle? He is 4.
Never!
If you want him to be elite, never.
The “Jagger”?
You hate to give up a goal in injury time…
Got your road gol though.
It’s a one-off, though. No double leg. We need to win or we go home. Since León finished higher in the table, they would go through with a tie.
Well fuck, that is stupid.
THE TWO GREATEST URINALS I HAVE EVER SEEN
The Lion’s Den Pub in the basement of The Red Lion Inn, Stockbridge MA
The Red Lion Inn is straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting, because his studio was in Stockbridge and he painted it often. The Lion’s Den Pub is in the basement, and the mens room has enormous ceramic “floor console model” urinals that are the size of bathtubs. You can’t miss no matter how hammered you are.
The old Boot Camp drill halls at Great Lakes Naval Training Center, IL
The four WWI-era drill halls were like enormous airplane hangers with arched wooden roofs and an uninterrupted floor space the size of a football field, used for marching drills during the long winters next to Lake Michigan. The concrete floors were polished smooth like Roman roads by the thousands of leather soled feet that marched across them over the decades. The mens rooms had ceramic troughs with a continuous flow of water flowing from one end to the other; they were slightly higher at the source end and lower at the drain end. How long were they? 40 recruits could take a leak simultaneously, and since each company was 70-80 recruits they entered in 2-rank piss-drill formation. 80 guys in-and-out in 90 seconds. Next! (The old drill halls were torn down in the 1990s)
So, I know the fake fly improved accuracy, but in your opinion, when does the variance introduced by drinking override aim to the point that it’s pointless?
It overrides it when you can’t actually see the urinal anymore due to temporary blindness and/or brain damage.
Fair.
The latrine at the firing range at Ft. Dix was a giant outhouse. There was a huge trough and two rows of seats, six seats long, with no dividers. Say hi to the other members of your company. There was no TP, because you were supposed to save the TP that was in your rations. C-rats for me; this was before there was such a thing as MREs.
Hey baby, wanna shuttle your cock up high? You’re gonna need one of these. It’s different playing badminton at altitude.
I will be forever sad that I missed the World Inferno show at NoRio, where they apparently set innocuous fire to the floor, much like my 21st birthday
The sunglasses!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDVp8gs7Gh8
One for the trouble, two for the time
Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn
You take a Ho to Hotel, cause a HO TELL EVERYBODY
A fun thing about Mother’s Day today was seeing Baron Von Underbheit I mean Greta Van Susteren invent the fiction that ANTIFA was trying to change its name to “Birth Persons’ Day”.
Wut? Do I even have to look this up to see if it’s real?
It’s Bill Belichek’s favorite holiday!
*grumble grumble I’ll give you breakfast in bed*
THE TROUGH URINAL LIVES!!
I need to get one. I don’t know what for yet, but I need to get one.
Carter-Finley Stadium had a piss trough for most of my match-attending days. Truly a sad day when they “upgraded.”
tWBS would noe wut I am talking about here
You’ve seen this right?
https://youtu.be/CZfEAc0iPPA
Indeed, the Wrigley trough was the last such stop on me long, pissing career. Y’all even beat the As on that chilly afternoon.
The old Winnipeg Arena had the trough and it was heavenly. Currently my local, which I can’t go drink at, still has the trough in use. “Trough sinks in the ladies” says Mrs. Cola. So they live all in Canadia!
That being said I did enjoy individual headrests at a pub in Slovakia.
This raises an important question, now that the NY marathon no longer sets up the world’s longest urinal each year, what is the record holder?
Also, now that The Mutiny has closed, where is the largest urinal in Chicago?
This is what we had in our communal bathroom in our dorm. No stalls for the toilets and the toilets faced the urinals. The showers were just a large tiled room with the single door and 20 shower heads. If you had any bathroom modesty you lost it by the second week, wore diapers, or just stank.
I have never encountered a urinal with a lid and don’t want to
I would piss on it 10 out of 10 times.
That is exactly what I thought. Why would one of these be necessary???
Hey, I just report the news.
Don’t piss on the messenger!
/Donald J Trump has entered the chat
I’ll just leave this here, then.. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C5XTQJYXAAASPV4?format=jpg&name=medium
oh my cats a LID upon a urinal is an abomination