The DFO Euro 2020 (in 2021!) Preview: Austria

We’re on the verge of the greatest international sports summer ever! We have:

  • Copa América
  • Euro 2020
  • Concacaf Gold Cup
  • Tokyo Olympic Games

And it all starts on June 11, 2021 with the European Soccer (Football) championships aka Euro 2020!

Yes, it is 2021 but they decided to keep the name, ok?

From now until the tourney starts, we’ll be giving you previews for every country in Euro 2020, DFO-style, of course. We will also provide previews of all the Copa América countries as the Copa América starts on June 13, 2021 right after Euro 2020 starts.

Euro 2020 will be broadcast in English on ESPN in the United States and on TSN in Canada. Univisión has the Spanish language rights in the US and TVA has the French language rights in Canada. Here is a handy calendar for you to use to schedule your vacation days:

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Today’s team is:

Austria

Country Fun Facts

UND

Yes, Austria has two flags. The top flag with just the red white red horizontal bars is the oldest flag in the world that defines a country. It was first used to denote the Austrian state in 1230!

The flag with the eagle on it is considered the “State” or “Government” or “War” flag. It is flown at federal government offices and would be flown if Austria were to get into a war with another country. Considering Austria’s neighbors, however, that’s very unlikely.

Map of Austria with surrounding countries

Austria has a border with 8 different countries! For a country that size, that’s pretty impressive.

If it wasn’t for that one guy, Austria would have a pretty good reputation worldwide! Well, that guy and that whole Austro-Hungarian Empire thing which probably didn’t endear themselves to their neighbors. The Austrian Empire thing too. Seriously, of all the European countries to have an “empire”, would Austria even pop up in your top five?

The capital is Vienna, which I hear is charming and was the center of European arts and culture for a very long time. Austria’s most famous and picturesque city is probably Innsbruck, though, which hosted the Winter Olympics and is surrounded by the Austrian Alps. It’s GORGEOUS.

Team Schedule

Austria is in Group C with North Macedonia, Ukraine, and the Netherlands. Here is the Group Stage schedule, all times Pacific:

Sunday, June 13, 2021 9 AM – Austria v North Macedonia at Arena Naţională – Bucharest

Thursday, June 17, 2021 Noon – Netherlands v Austria at Johan Cruijff Arena – Amsterdam

Monday, June 21, 2021 9 AM – Ukraine v Austria at Arena Naţională – Bucharest

Team Preview / Top Players

The Austrian team has not won a game at a major tournament in over 30 years. Their best player is Marko Arnautović, who plays in the Chinese league. The team does have some players that are in the Bundesliga, but this is not a team of all-stars.

They do, however, work hard and play well together, which can take them… somewhere? Typical of a mid-tier team, the Austrians beat up on lesser competition but struggle to beat the better teams. On occasion, they’ve sprung the occasional upset, but those are few and far between.

Best result when you Google Image Search “Hot [Country] girls”

Dave Attell: “Watch your eyes!”

Balls, Have you ever been to this country?

I have! I have actually driven through almost the entire country! The last time I did European Delivery of my new BMW (It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.) in Munich, I headed south on the Autobahn and crossed into Austria at the foot of the Zugspitze, Germany’s highest mountain.

Yes, I took the gondola all the way up. It’s a breathtaking view.

I then drove east along the A12, passed through Innsbruck, dipped north back in to Germany to get to Salzburg, and then traveled south into Slovenia via the Großglocknerstraße, which is an amazing road that reminded me of the road in Goldfinger

It’s a toll road, but TOTALLY worth it!

After hitting Slovenia, Italy, and Croatia, I came back into Austria around Graz and then went north via Linz to get back into Germany and head home. It was an amazing trip and it’s a beautiful country. I would absolutely go back.

Why you should root for this country

  • You like mountains.
  • You understand the difference between Austrian German and German German.
  • You like underdogs.

Why you should NOT root for this country

  • You haven’t forgotten about the asshole that was born there.
  • You’re more of a “beach” person than a “mountain” person.
  • You get it confused with Australia.

Pronóstico

Not good. That Netherlands game in Amsterdam looks unwinnable. That leaves North Macedonia and Ukraine in Romania as potential point-getters. I say they get one win (North Macedonia) and one tie (Ukraine) and move on to the Knockout Phase. They could actually lose to Ukraine and still move on to the Knockout Stage if they beat North Macedonia badly enough.

At the Knockout Stage, though, I think that’s where the fairy tale ends. They’ll likely be drawn against a group winner and Austria hasn’t beaten one of those in a LONG time. However, they will most likely get their first win in a major tournament in 30 years, so that should get the Austrians out onto the streets of the cities and villages to celebrate for at least a little bit.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Wakezilla

“Why you should NOT root for this country: You haven’t forgotten about the asshole that was born there.”

Fucking Wolfgang Mozart. He’s nothing compared to his rival, Antonio Salieri.

“Their best player is Marko Arnautović”

Bro, David Alaba is right there! In all honesty, Austria has a decent defensive corps and they’ll play together as a team, as many of the players play for RB Salzburg.

Good preview!

Austria is a very underrated country to visit. You can get into a lot of fun trouble over there.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I once had a flight SAT-CDG-VCE that got delayed and the guy had to reissue my ticket for the next day due to blown connection on the Paris-Venice leg. As I walked away from the counter I noticed the ticket guy had issued me a ticket for SAT-CDG-VIE. Closest I ever got to actually being in Austria.

Interesting series of books about an officer of the Austro-Hungarian military before and during the First World War. Worth a look if you like accurately-referenced historical fiction. First book:comment image

litre_cola

I love Austria. I dated an Austrian from Bad Kreuzen for awhile and it was always so pleasant to visit.

We had a cabin at Euro 2008 in Salzburg. That town is a lot of fun. You start drinking before every game at 8 am and continue through to game time. I can honestly say my Euro 2008 experience was the best trip and time of my life.

Wakezilla

I was in Turkey during the 2008 Euros.. Amazing times were had!

SonOfSpam

I watched ski jumpers train in late July in Innsbruck at =the Olympic site. It was amazing and everyone should do that at least once.

But not everyone will, so I’m special.

(They also have a kick-ass old church there with a Napoleonic cannonball stuck into the wall. AUSTRIA!)

Game Time Decision

Yes, Austria has two flags

-Sheldon, hosting “Fun with Flags”

Dunstan

“Amateurs” — anonymous amusement park

yeah right

That is one sorry ass looking eagle on the “war” flag.

Heckle and Jeckle could kick its ass.

Dunstan

Not even in the same league as this guy:

sam-the-eagle.jpg
Dunstan

if Austria were to get into a war with another country. Considering Austria’s neighbors, however, that’s very unlikely.”

I don’t know, those Liechtensteinians seems pretty twitchy to me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bengals shopping for a quarterback in Houston?

LemonJello

“Jeeze, they got a big pussy.”

comment imagev

Horatio Cornblower

Remember Kurt Waldheim?

Austria hopes you don’t.

Brick Meathook

“That Guy” is Arnold Schwarzenegger, right?

Balls, I’m thinking of flying into Frankfurt in November for a week but have no idea what I’d do after that except leave Frankfurt. Want to go south to Munich and Bavaria, probably by train. I might ask you some questions in the near future.

LemonJello

Take a suitcase full of Hershey bars, Lucky Strikes and nylons to barter with the locals, trust* me on this.

*DO NAWT trust me on this.