I am taking over Saturday night duties. Which, until JV NFL starts, will be kind of awkward and empty. I don’t even have EPL results to bitch about today (United humped Everton 4-nil in a friendly, but that’s MOAR LIEK “sun rose in the East” kind of news).
Someone mentioned (maybe on Slack) that we should have a fantasy team nomenclature post. So, let’s get to it!
In my keeper/auction league, I have gone with Goyim Space Lasers. I just absolutely LOVE the word “Goyim” plus there is a filthy Globalist smh in my league already. I don’t need to cause any confusion.
The problem was “picture/gif” (I ain’t looking at Q-anon Barbie’s disgusting face all season), so I Googled “space lasers” and found a nice forest fire pic. It was related to a San Francisco Chronicle article, where State authorities were seriously asking the public to please stop calling in and asking about space lasers.
What the fuck is wrong with humanity? Oh well, nothing that #NuAIDS 2 – Delta Force! can’t handle.
Hit us up with your ideas, both ones you will use, and those that are hilariously offensive but you don’t have the bollocks to actually run with.
Actual sportsball? Grumpy Old Man LaRussa and the Bastard Man Small Bears are on ABC for some reason (7p EST). They’s a MexiDouble on TUDN (America y Puebla at 8p, Tigres y Santos at 10p). Random friendly between Sevilla and Aston Villa (now Jack Grealish is a Cunt-free!) on ESPN2 (10p). I assume the Olympics are still on, Hippo just ain’t care. Probably some varietal of el beisbol, but Hippo ain’t care even less.
Heading to bed. One of the founders of Kool and the Gang, Dennis Thomas has died. Here’s a great one from them
https://youtu.be/zJ2zHd8vNvk
Almost done watching Gunpowder Milkshake on Netflix. Worth watching.
SUDDEN CHANGE REDBLACKS
Fuckin shit.
https://nypost.com/2021/08/07/trevor-moore-of-the-whitest-kids-u-know-dead-at-age-41/
I went full metal white trash today, and I made a lemon poke cake with black cherry jello and cool whip. Sugar coma coming up!
“Full metal white trash” is sitting in the front yard, feet in an inflatable kiddie pool, two cases of PBR or Keystone Light already down and working on a third, while Motley Crue blasts out of a tape deck.
Are you spying on me?
.
Emergency! I am out of Midori. Repeat. OUT of Midori!!
How the fuck you supposed to make a Melonball? Call out the National Guard!
I have, but they hung up on me. Apparently they were running low on beer so they have their own problems
FUCK NO MELON!!
Whack her in the knee! It’s the only way to be sure.
From the RTD files
https://twitter.com/MattMurph24/status/1424150025618305027
Shame. Here’s your stupid prize
Nazi calling card is popular amongst the Republicans
The misspelling is totally on brand
I posted this a while earlier, but I’m delighted to revisit it!
“My name is Joel Goodson. I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over $8,000 in one night. ‘Time of your life, huh kid?’”
“I dunno Joel. I don’t think I can go forty dollars on the artsy- fartsy thing”
-guido the killer pimp
Was the *entire* thing a setup? Or did Guido just adapt once he realized the particulars of the situation?
A Wikiwalk has somehow led me to the transcripts of the 1st 1992 Presidential Debate, and Perot sounds more intelligent than I remembered, Clinton sounds like he’s only there to attack Bush, and Bush sounds like he’s offended he has to do the debate.
I’ve yet to look at the 2016 and 2020 debates. Honestly, I’m too afraid and too sober to look.
Did you miss the “Abandon Hope all Ye who enter Here” warning on that section of Wikipedia?
My son was in 4th grade during that election. His class had a debate, Ben was Perot, and he won in a landslide.
I would encourage you to look up the worst losses the Bengals have suffered during the last 20 years, and watch the lowlights from those instead. It will be better for your psyche, trust me.
A WILD KIMO von OEOLHOFFEN APPEARS
Kimo the Destroyer.
“Who’s the U-Boat Commander?”
Sounds like a question for Brick.
In a sluggish economy, never ever fuck with another man’s livelihood.
Figured out where in Denmark I’m gonna go before heading to the Faroes
Heh, the Island Islands
Isn’t that also the same explanation for “Iceland”? That it comes from “Island” somehow? 1000 years of human settlement with no TV and they couldn’t even come up with good names?
Urban legend says Iceland is green and Greenland is icy; this was done to confuse invaders.
That may sound stupid, but Donald Trump was president for 4 years and is still beloved by millions, so never underestimate the stupidity of large groups of people.
Ooh! Color me jealous. That place looks quaint.
You can see the hotel I’ll be staying at in that photo, it used to be the first tavern off the boat!
Need an interpreter? I speak Danish. Raspberry, blueberry, cream cheese…
Cream cheese is the superiorest of danishes
It is known.
And how’s aunt tootie?
hips much better She sends her love also.
Lana: “You like excitement, Miles?”
Miles: “Love it”
I have a letter from Gumby when he was on patrol, asking me what I heard about this Cowher guy?
“Nice pick, Cowhah.”
Get off the babysitter.
Sublime breasts…
I told Gumby Jimmy J would bawl the whole way through this, but he’s gotten himself together.
“What the fuck bring you freedom. Freedom leads to opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.”
Try Mickies Dairy Bar, can’t go wrong
Just started Risky Business. Will livestream classic dialogue.
He really was a one-man highlight reel!
My dad says Jack Ham was the smartest football player he ever watched. Troy is number two.
Can’t disagree with that.
Offsides!
Unsportsman like conduct!
Nice hair, though.
Which streamer has Burnistoun?
Somebody needs to get the hook, Berman is hammered.
Troy. Hell yeah.
found a funny:
exec: i have a new band that’s going to tear up the charts
ceo: what’s the name
exec: duran duran duran
ceo: that’s way too many durans
exec: we can cut it down to just duran, sir
ceo: hmm now i’m worried that’s not enough durans
exec: i have an excellent idea then, sir
CFL must have slightly different pass interference rules than NFL, because I’ve seen 2 no-calls in this Argos-Stampeders game that would be immediate flags in the southern league.
Hopefully these names will get more and more prominent.
I mean, I can only get so tumescent. But it would be pleasant to stay this way.
Hippo’s Priapic Joy Boner.
Schadenwood.
I’ll tell you right now, if Gaetz or Taylor Greene gets it and dies from it, I may have to change my underwear.
….and here come the Yinzers
I finally finished watching the GWS-Geelong replay.
WOOOOOOOO
Twas a good game.
It was me on the back-channel. I haven’t thought of a name for my DFO league team (where I still have to do a championship House of Pain), but there’s definitely ‘Rona references to make.
a fiddle/corona hybrid name??
Throw in the gigs I play potentially as well.
lol
just remembered the wig Jason Alexander wore in Criminal Minds
Is that a Phillip Seymour Hoffman in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
was that wrong??
Based solely on this screenshot I assume Criminal Minds is a comedy
So… kids’ movies, or induction ceremony? Where’s my hemlock?
Well, there’s always base…yeah, hemlock by a long shot.
CFL on ESPN2 starting at 9 central
“The Suicide Squad” was way better than what I thought it would’ve been. It removed what didn’t work with “Suicide Squad” and improved what did work. Its not a “Stop What You Are Doing And Watch This Great Movie Now!!!” thing, but its worth checking out.
I feel exactly the same!
It was big, dumb, and fun. It leaned into the innate silliness of characters like Polka Dot Man and Peacemaker and didn’t take itself too seriously or try too hard to be hi-larious. A nice balance of loud action and interesting characters. I think we can all agree to memory-hole the first Suicide Squad movie and refer to The Suicide Squad as THE Suicide Squad.
Big dumb and fun is why Gronkowskis exist
That’s a perfect encapsulation of the Gronkowski ethos.
I watched it and had the same opinion. My favorite was Milton.
Who?
https://twitter.com/atlantictriangl/status/1424058876069126148
Gumby’s ff team this year is The Rubber Band Man. My favorite one he had was a few years ago, Mr. Yuk.
WCS will get it
We had those on some bottles under the sink when I was a kid.
Started by Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh, went nationwide.
https://youtu.be/EqHxKVUG8cU
I didn’t know the story–that’s a cool history! It had definitely made its way down to Texas by the 80s.
I got a lot of mileage out of “Agholoric’s Anonymous” and “Bright Lights, Big CTE”. Gotta come up with a new one this year.
“COVIDlicious”?
One year in and Joe Burrow is already suffering from PTSD. At this rate, when the Bengals draft his replacement in two years, they’ll respond to the Commissioner calling his name in the NFL Draft by walking onto the stage hysterically screaming and crying.
Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow frustrated but not hitting panic button
WTF
On the one hand, I consider this a sign that society has gone too far and it may be time for everyone to calm down and celebrate what makes everyone different.
On the other hand, if I was the Governor, I would respond to this letter by announcing I am legal change my first name to “Gayforth”.
Dick Smoker, Esq.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYEO_WZUGcY
Almost certainly a very well done parody, and I applaud them
If Messi goes to PSG and they win the square root of fuckall again? I’mma laugh until I probably die.
Lord of the ManoUr Kruger Adams D***s is an orange tabby. They tend to have incredibly cool personalities. Kruger is smart as fuck, though.
The grey one (Noodles Edmond D***s, Kruger’s nephew since my daughter rescued him, prior to bequeathing him to me) is just a tad fucked in the head. But now that I know him better, I’d say much more crazy than stupid.
Orange boys are awesome! My sister in law has two, Edward and Crook. My current asshole is Henry. He’s 13, his momma dropped him off at Gumby’s warehouse in Alabama when he was a kitten. Totally feral, but I lured him out of the Nokia cabinet he was living in, and we took him home. We thought he was black, he was so filthy, but after a bath it turned out he was a beautiful gray tabby. I love him so much, I tell him he’s still a kitten and needs to stay one forever. He’s the last pet standing that we had when our son was alive. I can’t fathom life without him.
I seriously think my Wolven Sort daughter will have a nervous breakdown when Kruger passes to Kitty Valhalla. He is probably at least 60% of the reason she decided to stay local and go to NC State.
We have an orange boy who’s about 11 months old.
Still getting through the biteys, but he’s been fixed and definitely feels comfortable in our house.
Our nearly 12-year old dog just kind of deals with his existence.
Pic upload didn’t work the 1st time.
Cute kitty!
Thank you! I had nothing to do with it.
You should photoshop in a starfield behind him so he looks like rocket cat.
I’ll strap a rainbow to his ass, a poptart to his belly, and call him a gritty reboot of Nyancat.
Man, he looks quite a bit like Kruger. Who still bites. At 12 (years nae months).
I should probably add that his name is Foxglove, but we usually call him Fox.
Y2-Spider Banana Variant? Might be too long.
My fantasy team this year is Baby Got Vax. Covidiots has a certain panache as well.
I was thinking Floridiot Covidiocy
Sorry I’m late. For morning. Here’s my EPL 1-20:
I don’t know why the pic posted sideways, and no, I am not flashing a “white power” sign with my hand shadow. It’s just my dainty little hotdog fingers trying to stay out of the way of the lens.
Yeah, but what about that light source creating that “white power” shadow?!
Ah yes, the “soft white power” bulb, very fine choice, sir.
I should hope not on the White Power thing, not with Fulham in the Shempionship.
Is Rebecc-ur Lowe a Palace supporter?? I did not know that.
Oh yeah.
https://www.nbcsports.com/video/rebecca-lowe-shares-her-love-crystal-palace-mib
Looking forward to seeing and hearing the NBCSN/EPL broadcast team almost as much as the games. They’re a top-notch crew.
100% with ya. And given the state of Everton, some weeks I may just watch the studio show.