How does one follow up Maestro’s glorious post? One does not, one simply distracts, is how one goes about it. (well, maybe one does a little clickbaity thingy) So here goes…
Does the bad news involve chicken wings? Why yes, it does. One of the many and varied things I do at worky-work is purchase proteins in large quantities. One of those items is 40 pound boxes of said wings. So back at the end of June the cost was a mere $99 and everyone was happy. The price has been climbing since then and will be sitting at $170 by the end of September. No, wings won’t disappear but you can probably count on your local hole-in-the-wall cancelling that magical night that is devoted to this particular food stuff. I told you it was bad news.
On To Football Stuff! [peruses headlines] There is very, very little football stuff going on right now.
-James Washington (who?) wants to be traded.
-Honey Badger wants a contract.
-Justin Fields will play on Saturday
Am I wrong in thinking that there should be more going on than this? We’re so close to the start of the season!
To The Game!
Pats/Eagles:
-Devonta Debut! He might just see his first action tonight! Philly fans are sorta curious and sorta, “No! He might get hurt!”. I guess they’re just practicing for later on in the season. But hell, if he does make it through the year there’s really no one out there to really compete for grabs is there? He might just be the first Eagle to go for a 1,000 yards since Jeremy Maclin did it in 2014. That’s a long time.
-Speaking of shitty teams with pathetic wr corps in this here passing league, the Pats signed Agholor for 22 million bucks to shore up that unit. Nelson had the one good (for him) season with Vegas and is now cashing in. Jeebers, does Bill ever have a blind spot at this position. Well, maybe N’Keal Harry will come around…
-I sorta feel sorry for Jalen Hurts because to me he’s all alone on an island out there and just doesn’t seem to have the support of front office. He’ll be discarded so fast if he struggles and if that happens Good Old Joe Flacco will come to the rescue and reduce the number of plays the O can run by a factor of 5.
-When the heckfire is Ertz getting traded? It’s all that I’ve heard since the end of last season, over and over again.
-Looking for that deep sleeper that has been tearing it up at camp? Maybe Quez Watkins is your man. He caught a 79 yard TD last week and has speed to burn. I think last year’s early-season darling that sunk fast-Travis Fulgham-is dead meat. Whispers and grumbling about an unhealthy work ethic follows him around wherever he goes.
So that’s all there is. If you’re doing takeout tonight, consider the humble chicken wing before they’re all gone.
BC 4
Edmonton 3
Top of the 3rd.
End of the second period
ELKDOWN!!!
OH! I TOO HAVE TSN FEED.
FYI, we are getting the TSN feed, so we get all the extra u’s in our coummentary.
Vitamin U leads to apologies, and politeness.
BC looking good early.
5 mins left in the 4th of a preseason blowout
I’ve always wondered what kinds of guys play in the MAC.
What the what??
I mean, Dr. Crusher is pretty damn sexy.
This OnlyFans replacement is weird
Edmonton against BC is on the TV!!!
And I’ve been to BC Place!!
I really love Vancouver.
Best city in Canadia IMO except for their beer vendor/teachers. Those guys are asshats.
BC takin shots to Lucky Whitehead.
Sign that guy in the second row!
I really hope that when Kirk Cousins gets sacked this season, the defenders celebrate mimicking giving each other the vaccine.
Or breaking out a bottle of sanitizer
It’d be awesome if defenses made that a thing each week.
Just signed up for a zoom scotch tasting in a couple weeks. They mail you the numbered samples, then which is which will be revealed during the tasting.
What was the cost on something like that? Seems like a good gift for the upcoming holidays
This one was $55 which includes the shipping. I checked out the bottle prices and seems like it’s pretty close to cost
We did a virtual bunch of wine tastings in the beginning of the pandemic and the wine was delivered. It was superb.
Everyone is going to be dead by New Years.
Don’t try making me optimistic like that
Oh sure. They can mail mystery scotch. But when I send booze in the mail, I have to say it is collectible glassware* or something.
*Technically not a lie if you keep the bottle as a souvenir.
Essential oils
Grapeseed oils
Vintage bottle
Or Mexican Lemonade
Sauce, juice, shampoo
Booze exchangers unite!
Man, these eGals are making NE look good.
It’s pre season. I’m tempering expectations
Eagles are the worst team in the NFC.
Which is impressive when you consider how low the bar is
ppl always point out the “tallest midget” allusion, but there has to be a “shortest midget” too
Found a funny;
a tandem bicycle with seats facing each way and you just go in the direction of whoever’s strongest
Here’s another submarine story. I hope these don’t bore.
Well it’s actually a shore and Hollywood story.
It’s the story of the Two Italian Lecturers.
One Italian lecturer was cinematographer Vittorio Storaro, who would give an amazing presentation on lighting, about “light and dark.” It was almost expressed in religious terms, in his Italian accent. It’s hard to describe it because it was very visual. It was delivered on a stage at Paramount Pictures on Melrose, on the corner parcel that had once been RKO and later Desilu. I was sitting next to Haskell Wexler ASC and he was telling me jokes he learned from his first boss, cinematographer James Wong Howe. This was magical; it was about 1997.
The other Italian was a few years earlier. I got a case of genital warts from a young lady who was a student at the Medical College of South Carolina, which was in downtown Charleston. I was afraid to go to a Navy clinic because we could get into trouble for this. So I went to the free clinic, ironically at the Medical College of South Carolina. I sheepishly entered, and the waiting room was filled with students from The Citadel, the military college in Charleston. God knows what happened but none of us were making eye contact with each other.
The doctor who saw me was a very distinguished Italian professor from the college, and he put a liquid on my penis that cured the problem in about two days. That took about five minutes. But then he gave me a a stern lecture in his Italian accent about sexually transmitted diseases and about personal responsibility. This entire time, his gloved hand is holding my penis, and at key points in his speech he would give my dick a sharp tug, strictly for emphasis.
Taught me a lesson.
1) We love these, and ar totes buying the coffee table book.
2) What if the MUSC coed had been working the front desk?
3) During the sharp tugs…did it EVAR MOVE??
The receptionist at the clinic was absolutely beautiful, yet I had zero chance with her because she knew why I was there.
Gumby was banging some MILF from the medical college ( before we were married!) She had kids a few years younger than him, who hated his guts. I met her later, was not impressed.
(before we were married!)
Or so he says. He is, after all, a career sailor, which means an habitual liar. 😉
I love these stories.
They went away and never came back? That sounds more like molloscum contagiosum than genital warts.
They never came back.Why are you asking about this?
Trying to provide you with reassurance that they won’t come back.
Thank you doctor. They haven’t come back in 40 years, but I value your trust.
It’s important for DFOrgy planning purposes.
You were lucky he did not have his Nonna sized rug slapper on a hook in the office…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwVr0ljLkfA
Will White Mac wait until his 2nd season in the NFL, before demanding that hs WRs call him “sir?”
They will be in tears when they address him as “Sir,” as is the custom.
Folks, I don’t think Flacco is the answer.
Maybe you is just asking the wrong question smgdh
“Who is an elite QB?”
ahem – the preferred nomenclature is a Elite
After seeing the 1st half I can confidently say that the Giants will finish at least third in the division.
Might be time to bet the over on Dacteds and Non-Gendereds win totals
Book it.
That’s a hell of a nice catch to cost the team 7 yards. Grumblelord will cut him at halftime.
Oooh, Flacco and Sackzetti!
Christ, I didn’t even finish college till I was 29 years old.
So is WaWa any good?
Far superior to Sheetz.
For sure, there was a WaWa about half way between where I lived in Maryland and Atlantic City that we used to stop at all the time for gas and sandwiches back in my playing way too much poker days
Guess BB is still kinda pissed about losing to PHI in SBWhateverthefuckitwas.
THE BEST SUPERBOWL EVER!!!!
Booooo!
I got one in my 40+ years of fandom and it was Nick fucking Foles!!!
Yeah. I’m sorry. I’ll try to be nice during preseason
Eason 1985. Bledsoe 1995. BRADY 2002-2019 FUK YEA
LoL
Kind of curious how this went down
“TWO JOOZ IN A WASP ENCLAVE!”
Why the fuck is there challenges in the preseason.
White Mac really is aggressively white.
Like Proud Boy white or egg shell?
yes
He’s Tiki Torching that Eagles D.
He’s driving that car over anyone that seeks to Challenge his supremacy.
Josh Rosen Will Not Replace Him!
Ex- Calgary Stampeder Alex Singleton has been a pleasant surprise the last few years in Eagle land.
Who might Philly be tanking FOAR? I honestly have no clue. That rattlesnake kid at Boomer Sooner?
Oh no, they will draft Mike Mamula’s son or some shit.
quack quack sez the ducky!
What just happened to Boston Scott – is that what the young ppl call an Eiffel Tower?
It’s a New England Teabagger.
Dunno who booked this ad time, but not sure us sedentary pre-season football viewers are the types who feel so guilty about a 90-calorie beer that we need to run to justify the indulgence.
Guys, I don’t think Flacco is the answer. He may no longer be Elite!
but thInK of teh lEEderShiP
Pastor Randall Cunningham would be more mobile today. Book it.
Oh, the stories he could tell you about RayRay’s favoUrite whetstone!
Didn’t realize Hurts was, you know. Didn’t come across that when doing a piddling amount of research
Small undersized and overhyped? Yeah he is.
Devonta Smith needs to add a Y to the end of his name if he wants to be know as Devontay. Otherwise, he’s just Dayvontuh.
Hope these Philly announcers are wearing skirts and shaking pompoms because they’re little more than cheerleaders.
Much less informative than the P*ts crew last week.
The Chicago White Sox crew even thinks these guys are biased.
You can decline the untimed down? I did not know that.
Man, Philly is making Cam circa 2021 look GOOD. Maybe even White Mac will manage a 10+ yard completion tonight!
I don’t think Le Grand Mac is playing tonight, is he?
My research for this here exhibition was mighty limited, even by my own lazy standards.
You know what they call Le Grand Mac in France?
So, did Sony Michel’s mom name him after her favorite portable music playing device or what?
I thought Sorny Michel had moved on. I kept Damian in another league (non PPR)
OK. The Floyd broke up, and Roger Waters is a bitter motherfucker. The Donald Trump of progressive rock, if you will. And the Pats scored a TD while I was watching it all play out in the wayback machine.
Ed Sheeran? Shit, that’s “mute or nothing” for me opening night.
Iggles Wawa crew is not polishing the turd very effective-like
This is the only Wawa I know. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT GOOSE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=br_uaYeqJRo&ab_channel=CBCNews
Do you have other towns in Canadia named after Truck stops? It’s mostly Sheetz around here now.
We’ve got Flying J’s or somesuch. I stopped working truck stops when my pimp got run over by a cement mixer. He only beat me on Sundays-I miss him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oE-shhNl9aQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usGObvP42GM
So is next week a full dress rehearsal of starters or is it Practice Squadders A-Go-Go?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f55KlPe81Yw
squadderinos, it sounds like (though maybe not as uniformly so)
Yeah, 1st teamers playing against squadders won’t be pretty.
Uh see my comment below. Worst team in the NFC.
yeah, your only positive is NFC East Participant
Good thing there is FF. (Still haven’t read your league’s rules completely)
Don’t forget ME! – GAMBLOR
See my post above-that Hurts kid is getting undermined and it’s completely transparent.
3-D chess, management would rather their fans boo/toss batteries at a white QB
/also you made a good point on Reagor, what a draft class that is turning into…
ELITE SUDDEN CHANGE
I think I’ll finish watching this Pink Floyd special I DVR’d this weekend, THEN turn on the
Pats game.
ur missing a Elite surprise QB start!
Only 18 minutes left, including the ads I will FF through.
Better than Touchy McToucherson from Houston!
TROOF, I’d rather be bored than fondled
The identity of the fondler may affect my opinion on this.
Roger just loogied on a fan at the Montreal concert, 1977.
Kurt Warner making salient points, yet again. If only he would avoid all non-FITBAW topics…
Do we still despise his wife, who prayed really hard for Warner to ‘see the light’ and realize he needed to quit after his last season in Arizona?
/the smug look on her face as she was saying that garbage. GUH!
I’m sure she’s the senior cashier at the grocery store where they met.
I love good wings
How many P*ts and Iggles supporters will hook up and hate fuck tonight?
I have a feeling that there will be a lot more intra-team fan fucking than inter-team.
hey, so long as the sex is HAWT
Eagles will be the worst team in the NFC. Book it.
Maybe so but I don’t buy that they’ll have the worst record.
The NFC East’s curse is that they cannot lose as many games as these modern day atrocities (see: HOU).
I wonder who will go 0-17 first?
Speaking of raging semis, we get to see Joe Burrow die in Chase Young’s loving arms tomorrow. LIVE!
Hey, I also buy pro teens in bulk! – Rep Matt G., Humidtaint, FL
The last time I went to buy a big pack of wings at the store, they cost more per pound for a similar pack of drumsticks.
I like wings, but I went with the drumsticks.
Confessions of a Philistine – unless we are talking duck? I absolutely despise dark meat.
Not a descendant of Thomas Jefferson, eh?