Sadly, we are on international break, so there is no Lesser Footy to discuss. No Lesser Footy of any consequence, anyway. Good thing the teevee folks managed to fanagle a strong Week One slate. Among the fixtures Hippo suggests watching:
Paedo State (+5.5) at Wisconsin (Noon, Fox)
Walking penis James Franklin is feeling a bit of heat in “I didn’t see nuthin'” Valley, and it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Quite titillating to see them as an underdog, though I’d bet against that line. For sure. But it would be (ass) blood money.
Stanford (+3.5) at Kansas State (Noon, FS1)
I dub this the Very Fucked-up Body Clock Bowl. Lookit all the RESPEK paid to the Unded Bill Snyders! Or is it just the Trees bandwagon emptying like a nightclub at 2:15?
Fresno State (+20.5) at Oregon (2:00, Pac12)
Is this too many points? WAY too many points. Third straight game kicking off at 11:00a local time, too.
Alabama (-19.5) v. Miami-FL @ Megatron’s Butthole (3:30, ABC)
This line is racing in favoUr of the Tide, and it seems the betting public is not buying the annual “No Really, This is the Year Da U is Back!!!1111” boomlet. Maybe they will start a fight, at least.
Indiana (+4) at Iowa (3:30, BTN)
I suspect we will watch MOAR of this than Roll Damn Tide doing its usual. Indiana is a trendy sleeper team, though playing away to Team Cornpone is a tough task. Especially to start the season.
Louisiana-Lafayette (+9) at Texas (4:30, Fox)
Steerfuckers South are the Miami-FL of the Southwest. They’ll beat the coolest character from True Blood (FUCK YOU, no name change is recognized here), and the hype machine will go into overdrive. Because the sportsball media NEVAR learns.
NEW THREAD IS NEW
https://twitter.com/Dukielang/status/1434275477338918912?s=19
Tweet from a fucking sports journalist.
I really cannot express how much respect I have for athletes who have to take questions from these clowns.
Instead of hot taking your stupidity on Twitter, this guy could literally just Google to see if there was a rule change in the off season (which there was).
One thing about watching Bama is that you get a sneak peek at who you’ll be drafting at qb, rb and wr in the coming years.
I wondered why in the hell IU kicked a FG down 31-goddamned-3
Well, at least Indiana football was quasi-relevant for almost a whole year.
Field goal!
Halftime and the Reedley Fucking Tigers are up 20-7.
This division was a step up?
This division ain’t seen the likes of Reedley, yo!
Holy shit IU football. I ain’t got anything clever to say
https://twitter.com/Roy_oh_Roy/status/1434169846577647620?s=20
I will do my part to help small business in Alberta.
https://twitter.com/heatherfuture/status/1434157701676691468?s=20
Me, too. I bought a bottle of Rumchata to start the process.
Also, where in Canada is Alberta? Is it one of those wannabe French places?
Oh no. We are the Texas of our country. It is led by a right wing fuckweasel who seems to enjoy people dying. Northwest, my internet friend.
The Miami chain thing is so cheesy.
Willard Scott died.
So did Tunch Ilkin.
Nooooo! He was only 2 years older than me. That Lou Gehrig’s disease is a motherfucker.
Hippo, Janine Beckie was WOTM today against the Bitter Blues. Balance.
You just said the magic words!
Some BananaRoadkill-on-a-Stick in Morganhole!
Are we sure University of Miami is a real school with a real team or is this another Bishop Sycamore situation?
Their logo is an U, after all. They couldn’t even find an M or a picture of a hurricane!
Works both ways.
“Is there a bathroom nearby?”
Is that his wife? I ask in all seriousness due to his “rapey” behavioUr.
Some women are into that. Or so I’ve heard.
Never underestimate someone’s willingness to overlook a whole host of should-be-disqualifying-and-really-criminal flaws when money or an agenda are on the line (2016 and 2020 US presidential elections, we’re all looking in your direction).
Was he ever not a fat 40 year old?
Wait….did he go back and finish his degree? Google….okay yeah I’m an ass.
This game is just showing how fucking stupid the early season rankings are.
Miami doesn’t look like a top 50 team, let alone 14th best in the nation They should just get rid of the ranks for the first four weeks.
“Expert”: But…but they won a couple of championships at least 20 years ago. That alone should make them a Top 20 team, at least!”
This, 700000000%
I wouldn’t care if WVU was ranked #1 by consensus. None of it matters, especially in a post-pandemic season.
Indiana too. What were they thinking?
To be fair, they’re playing Alabama, who’s not just great, but inevitable.
They show Todd McShay on the sideline, but not Molly McGrath. YOU IS DOING TEEVEE WRONG, ABC.
Its gonna rain tonight. I should probably mow the lawn. But football is on and UC is really destroying Miami (OH).
Which would be easier and more beneficial property value-wise: having a freshly cut lawn or establishing a wildflower and grass refuge?
Take whatever money you may keep from hiring someone to mow your lawn, and donate it to the Luke Fickell Retention Fund.
My only fear is we’ll go full circle and Notre Dame fires Brian Kelly and steals UC’s coach again before the bowl game.
“The Wonder Years” is premiering?! It worked! I’m in 1988!
The commercials didn’t look too bad. Hard to recreate the magic that was Winnie Cooper.
At least its on a network. “Girl Meets World” (sequel series to “Boy Meets World”) had potential but it was completely handicapped being on “Disney Channel”.
Fresno state and the Dicks tied up at 21.
Miami has the most tatted up punter I have ever seen. He looks like a heavy from Breaking Bad.
I noticed that too. Its almost like a sports movie and the coach got a player from jail or a halfway house.
Australia really is like a cross between prison and halfway house!
And heaven with things that will kill you quick.
God. Just teevee shows with their snakes and spiders of instant death make me piss my pants.
Alabama is fascinating to me. Saban has to be one of the only coaches in college football that pretty much let’s his assistants run his team.
There is no “Nick Saban” prototypical Alabama team. And you never see Alabama trying to do stupid shit like turning a running QB into a pocket passer. They completely change up their schemes based entirely on the talent they have at any given point.
I don’t understand why Saban has figured this out and no one else has.
I completely agree with you. His recruiting is insane and I think that is Why it didn’t work in the pro’s for him IMO.
I remember an interview with him where he basically pointed out that he had to have the worst team in the NFL to get a first pick where as in college, he can get as many as he works for.
I think he spends time with his family for 48 hours after he wins a national championship.
That’s why I don’t completely hate him. He knows how to recruit and how to get the best out of his team.
I don’t hate him because he: (i) occasionally cuts ads for Southern Demmycrats; and (ii) is usually against the likes of tOSU, Clemson, Okiehoma, and Notre Dame in the playoffs.
That’s actually a palatable scenario when OSU plays Alabama.
If we beat them: “Yes! We beat a great team!”
If we lose to them: “No shame in losing to a great team!”
Yeah being able to not just spot talent, but use it takes skill.
Like a lot of people recognize the NFL draft busts but there are so many top recruits that were wasted in college.
I lived in Birmingham for many years. Nick Saban is a good guy. I desperately want him to retire from football and run for the Senate. He would win easily, and he is a Dem.
I think lots of coaches struggle with ego. What worked in one place didnt work in another.
My junior year of high school was my school’s first losing season in a decade, guy kept trying to run power football when we simply didn’t have the offensive line for it
He has an entirely new coaching staff every year.
My bad, coach.
Me: new job is started, i guess I can say things are finally looking up! And IU football is back!
God: and I took that personally
I’ll file that picture for the next Cincinnati playoff loss.
I have to admit, I never imagined a scenario where I would root for the Alabama Crimson Tide in a football game, but here we are.
Meh. Living in Notre dame country has taught me not to be a choosing beggar about teams I like and dislike
In SHOCKING NEWS, Alabama is still Alabama.
Evil always wins.
You stole that from Trump’s 2024 campaign slogan!
Or the 2021 Conservative Party of Canada platform.
Well, here’s to another season of IU football.
…welp
They didn’t scissor after all?
I mean, if I was privy to that of event, there would be evidence
And stains.
I’ll never forget being a sophomore in high school, going over to my brothers apartment, and making the mistake of walking into his bedroom. The smell hit me like a wall. Guy didnt believe in washing his sheets often apparently
And to be clear my brother wasn’t a slob. Just popular with single mothers
That’s wonderful!
Boys are funky critters.
/rhythmic slapping intensifies in happy valley
Tulane recovers the onside kick, down 5.
Ha! Fuck you, Oregon!
There’s a reason Wiscy has run the ball 53 times
How come announcers only complain about these targeting rules? They never botched about the old rules; they said belichik was savvy for knowing the holes.
These tv guys are such fucking frauds. Like all these idiots are just YouTube clip trained.
Righteous Indignation Announcer Has Opinions
Dude. There’s no question: that’s targeting
I get why Penn State expects the authorities to look the other way, though.