Saturday JV-palooza Open Thread (Part Two)

Did you enjoy the early slate?  Here is what Hippo learned, assuming I don’t nod off and forgets to update:

1. There’s watching flies fuck (h/t Carlin, George) and then there is B1G “action.”  You’ll do well to see a worse, sloppier (yet still competitive) game all season.  And both these squadrons were RANKED.  There’s a reason tOSU runs the table every damned season.  Paedos made ONE first down the entire first half…and won.
2. Stanford is bad.  Really, really bad.  2020 was no Plague Year abberation.
3. Oh my cats, Horatio told us to bet Holy Cross.  But did I listen??
4. Nick Saban no doubt stripped the paint off the locker room walls, after allowing a Miami FG that cut the Tide lead to 27-3.  A pounding we expected, and a pounding we gets.
5. GOOD TRY, Tulane and Fresno State.  Steerfuckers North did their usual slapdickery, but with just enough yards and FITBAW points to eke out an unimpressive win.
6. West By God Virginia v. Maryland is a fun rivalry, and I am glad it gave the ppls sommet to watch in the 3:30 window.
7. God still hates Brocky (sorry, Hoosiers football).
8. Cowbells can’t pass block for shit, and that might be a problem for a Dread Pirate Mike Leach team.  Especially in the SEC West.

MOAR FITBAW!!!!

Oregon State (+7) at Purdue (7:00, FS1)

More so than the marquee matchups, THIS is the kind of matchup I like to see in September.  Two “could be interesting” sides, not that you’d call them good.  But also teams that rarely play one another.  These would also get invites to Hippo’s long-dreamed of “Land Grant/Engineering/Angry Little Brother” conference (NC State, Mississippi State, Okie State, Iowa State, Texas Tech, Wazzu gets me to 8, I have to think harder past that).

Texas Tech (-1) at Houston (7:00, ESPN)

See above, also NEVAR miss a chance to post the Guns Up!! bunny boiler gals.  It really is September again, y’all.

Georgia (+3) v. Clemson @ Richardson Plantation (7:30, ABC)

Can the Dawgs win this one for tWBS’ ghost?  I wouldn’t bet on it.  Expect a physical, low-scoring game.  And Son de Clem has the better defensing unit.

LSU (-2.5) at UCLA (8:30, Fox)

The Heartstrings Pulling Bowl, with Westwood Klavern hosting.  I am wary of a team playing under such dramatically fucked up circumstances, but this also strikes me as a massive overreaction to Fatass Chip’s charges running train on Hawaii.  SEC West talent prevails, per usual.

Nevada (+3.5) at Cal (10:30, FS1)

Hope you stashed enough crank to get through these uber-late tweaker fixtures.  The Wolf Pack are always a huge pain in the ass, and the Golden Shower Bears…have the nickname for a reason.

Utah State (+17) at Washington State (11:00, Pac12)

Holy cats, we is gonna be up all night.  FOAR Team Secular Big Love State traveling to the Paloose.  I probably spelled that wrong, and I do not care.  Bet the Aggies.