Your “Gruden Gets Ground Into Dust” Monday Night Football Open Thread

It’s been four years now, is anyone happy with the direction of Rikki’s Raiders? Seems to me the success of the season relies on a tremendous number of ‘ifs’. Oops, I’ve gotten ahead of myself. On Mondays I usually do a follow up on Sunday’s action. Here it comes…

Fall Out:

-Who the hell is Elijah Mitchell? This week’s trendiest pickup, that’s who!

-The Fantasy Gods have spoken-they don’t want Jeudy and Sutton playing together. So do you grab Patrick or Hamler?

-Them Gods are picking on Scary Terry as well. Imagine how happy he was to have Harvard on board-finally, semi-competent qb’ing! Alas, he’ll have to wait for a few fortnights. Btw, “Subluxation” sounds like an expensive accessory on a new Tesla vehicle.

-Jax proved that having a coach that is a control freak with anger issues isn’t the way forward. Will Meyer change in any way? Nope.

-Was Cincy’s coaching concerned at all about Chase’s ‘catching’ issues? Not one bit-what a non-story. Ja’Marr had a 90% snap share and a 27% target share. If Burrow can remain upright that Bengals O should be deadly and entertaining.

To The Game!

Ravens/Raiders:

-A crowd in Vegas for the first time. Look for plenty of shots of displaced roid abusers with spikes on their shoulder pads and silver paint on their (acne-scarred) faces.

-Did ye know that the Ravens have won five straight openers and have not surrendered more than 10 points during that streak? I don’t think it ends here. Of course, I thought the Titans were going to blow out the Cards, so what do I know?

-I have some bad news for Jacobs owners that need him to come through ce soir. He is trending towards playing but-this is nuts-of his 19 TD’s scored, 17 have come in victories. Sounds like we got ourselves a frontrunner here.

-All eyez are on Ty’Son although Lat might get some work-though that should be very straightforward run plays given that he’s had only the smallest of peeks at the playbook.

Do you need someone to come through tonight? Let us know below.

 

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Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

That was insane. Hope the rest of the season is this crazy!

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Beerguyrob

I’m just ecstatic that that Sammy Watkins catch won me my fantasy match by 0.36 points. A DECISIVE VICTORY!

yeah right

Signature fucking win. Break the champagne bottle on the Death Star.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Worth noting that noted Thunder Down Under afficionado Carl Nassib produced the strip sack that gave the ball back to the Raiders.

[slaps Carl Nassib on the ass, hard]

YOU GAY HARD AND YOU GAY TO WIN!

I don’t even know what to say. That was the dumbest overtime ever; the second they called the touchdown back I knew in my heart the Raiders would fuck it up somehow and of course they did, but they didn’t quit.

Holy crap.

Recovery Whiskey

West Coast has all the wins

Redshirt
Gumbygirl

Oh Fozzie. It’s gonna be ok. Stroke the furry wall!

TheRevanchist

RTD, congrats! AFC West is still the best.

ballsofsteelandfury

What the fuck did I just witness?

TheRevanchist

That was Mark Davis, not a Bond villain.

SonOfSpam

That was exactly the game the Raiders lose (and by gawd they tried) and the Ravens win.

Football, man.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Four teams tied for first place in AFC West.

Beerguyrob

And NFC West.

Brocky

Eli saying “my god” is the funniest thing I’ve seen all year

clint greasewood

With that Lamar fumble my lead is down to .68

Brocky

butthole clenching intensifies?

Anthony In TX

Well, that’s certainly a way to win a football game.

The Maestro

Folks… are we moving into sacred territory?

The Maestro

And then Zay Jones goes and does that.

Recovery Whiskey

It just continues

Dunstan

We’re clearly headed for DOINK territory, aren’t we?

Redshirt

…wow.

TheRevanchist

I was told we can’t afford a “wow”.

Viva La Tabula Raza

ALL YOUR BANANACAKES ARE BELONG TO US.

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Sharkbait

This game is bananacakes

Brocky

again, sorry redshirt, sorry ayo

Mr. Ayo

DAMMIT.

Wait, I’m preparing the B Walsh post.

Mr. Ayo

Quickly deleting said post.

Redshirt

Yup.

TheRevanchist

THAT’S RIKKI’S RAIDERS!!!

TheRevanchist

Oh, wait. They might win. Shit.

yeah right

Mark Davis looks like an angora rabbit.

Dunstan

I understand the reasoning behind it, but I still think the NFL’s overtime “it’s sudden death but not if you get a field goal on the first possession” is the weirdest compromise since “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

When I was in the Navy, we didn’t need to ask, because you could usually tell.

TheRevanchist

That’s why I miss Watkins in KC.

Gumbygirl

Chuckie’s thinking USC.

Redshirt

Over Urban Meyer’s dead body.

Gumbygirl

Steelcage deathmatch.

The Maestro

Chuckie’s thinkin’ the booth.

ESPN, FOX, the valet parking lot… literally whatever booth is furthest from here.

Sharkbait

Come on David Carradine!

ballsofsteelandfury

THAT’S RIKKI’S RAIDERS!!

The Maestro

THAT’S RIKKI’S RAIDERS!

Gatoraids

Spider why god why

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope Fozz is enjoying this.

TheRevanchist

This could still be a tie.

Mr. Ayo

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Brocky

Lol, I googled premature celebration, and Leon Lett was the first image
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Last edited 2 years ago by Brocky
Don T

waaaaa

WCS

We’ve replaced Derek Carr with Andy Dalton. Let’s see if anyone notices…

Sharkbait

Just….wow

Anthony In TX

Uhhhh holy shit

Redshirt

HAHAHAH!

Dunstan

BANANACAKES ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!!!!

Recovery Whiskey

Tom Cable’s O line everybody

Gumbygirl

Wow, dumbassery!

clint greasewood

Bring in QB2

Brocky

Kinda makes you wish you had Jared Lorenzen in this situation

Brocky

lol the ravens players know its over

Brocky

Hoolee…shit

WCS

Cue Carr fumbling the snap in 3…2…1…

Dunstan

I think the Stanford band is on that field somewhere