It’s been four years now, is anyone happy with the direction of Rikki’s Raiders? Seems to me the success of the season relies on a tremendous number of ‘ifs’. Oops, I’ve gotten ahead of myself. On Mondays I usually do a follow up on Sunday’s action. Here it comes…
Fall Out:
-Who the hell is Elijah Mitchell? This week’s trendiest pickup, that’s who!
-The Fantasy Gods have spoken-they don’t want Jeudy and Sutton playing together. So do you grab Patrick or Hamler?
-Them Gods are picking on Scary Terry as well. Imagine how happy he was to have Harvard on board-finally, semi-competent qb’ing! Alas, he’ll have to wait for a few fortnights. Btw, “Subluxation” sounds like an expensive accessory on a new Tesla vehicle.
-Jax proved that having a coach that is a control freak with anger issues isn’t the way forward. Will Meyer change in any way? Nope.
-Was Cincy’s coaching concerned at all about Chase’s ‘catching’ issues? Not one bit-what a non-story. Ja’Marr had a 90% snap share and a 27% target share. If Burrow can remain upright that Bengals O should be deadly and entertaining.
To The Game!
Ravens/Raiders:
-A crowd in Vegas for the first time. Look for plenty of shots of displaced roid abusers with spikes on their shoulder pads and silver paint on their (acne-scarred) faces.
-Did ye know that the Ravens have won five straight openers and have not surrendered more than 10 points during that streak? I don’t think it ends here. Of course, I thought the Titans were going to blow out the Cards, so what do I know?
-I have some bad news for Jacobs owners that need him to come through ce soir. He is trending towards playing but-this is nuts-of his 19 TD’s scored, 17 have come in victories. Sounds like we got ourselves a frontrunner here.
-All eyez are on Ty’Son although Lat might get some work-though that should be very straightforward run plays given that he’s had only the smallest of peeks at the playbook.
Do you need someone to come through tonight? Let us know below.
Carr sucks.
•banner•
You’re going to make him start cutting himself again
Tucker Carlson read that tweet on his show tonight. I am tempted to make his reading of “his testicles became swollen” my ringtone, but I can see a lot of ways that ends badly.
Nikki Menage is till doing research on the topic.
Yeah, that shit cracks me up. The vaccines have been available for like six months, but she’s just got a few more YouTube videos to read before she can make up her mind.
The game keeps trudging along; no gateway to Hell opens up in the middle of the field whenever Carl Nassib is mentioned. Reality flows uninterrupted, and the homophobes are SEETHING at having to face reality once more.
But isn’t he a distraction in the locker room? The gravest of all football sins? (Note: does not apply to dudes with sexual assault or domestic abuse charges, those are never distractions.)
Vodka seltzer or Buffalo Trace?
Freezer vodka
All whiskey’s good, some whiskey’s better
Oh, shut up, Nassib! Just because you are lighthearted and carefree doesn’t mean you have to rub it in our faces!
Very nice awkward silence after “kids”
I imagine that Carl Nassib is a power top.
Walking to the liquor store counts as exercise, right?
I never understood why teams consistently throw short of the yards to gain on 3rd and short.
Analytics
I’ve never understood why Raiders defenders stand *behind* that line.
I’m sorry, but Roger Goodell is NOT a celebrity. Celebrities are popular.
Seriously, who the fuck is high-fiving Goodell? (Ok, obviously, the same type of person who has front-row seats. But still.)
This is very “Rob Lowe in the NFL Shield logo ballcap” vibes to me.
I only counted at least two celebrities there.
I don’t have any objection to them having turned the protagonist in Foundation into a young black woman, but…who is she supposed to be? Hari Seldon? Salvor Hardin? Hober Mallow?
Um…Raiders punter looks pretty good.
This is not a repeat from 1973
False start at home. The Al Davis eternal flame just bleched.
The idea of Gruden yammering in my headset makes me think that NFL quarterbacks aren’t paid enough.
A very special “Welcome to the Major League” to a BLEERGH minion.
MLB umpire in Cardinals vs. Mets hit flush in the face by errant throw (msn.com)
Making an error the right way! #BFIB
Update, guys. I went to the bathroom. Now I have to go again. Not sure what’s causing this.
… 10 empties stacked up along the windowsil
You may need to get that looked at.
Moon River ::: Fletch ::: 1985 – YouTube
Looks like there’s going to be some new Rod and Todd action soon.
Tease.
At the rate Trumpublicans are dropping, there may not be enough left by ’22 or ’24.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
Check in during the day tomorrow. This one’s a special one.
Ooh!
Is this Bob Enyart?
So who’s the least hateable NFL owner?
Shut up, Packer fans, it’s definitely not you.
Maybe the Hunts, They haven’t threatened Kansas City for a new stadium yet.
The was the whole “sexually assaulting a mentally disabled cousin” thing…
Jefferey Lurie? Not saying due to bias but I just went down the list and most are shitweasels that would well your kidney if they got a dime. Who owns the Ravens? Who is the major owner of Miami? I know Conga and the Williams sisters have a piece.
The Ravens owner is Biscotti. Not sure what the dough industry wants with the NFL though.
Shad Khan in Jacksonville unless you’re a Jags fan
Might be biased but Jodie Allen taking over for Paul. And Paul would have been a slam dunk — seriously how many NFL owners blow their money on loaning their yacht out for deep sea science expeditions, and run a Living Computer Museum.
I have no problem with Shad. Who I do have a problem with is his fuckwit son Tony. You may know him my weekly rage every 2 years when Mightey Whitey (nawt raycess) gets fucking relegated because he treats it as his toy while he focuses on his wrasslin endeavoUrs. Fuck I hate Tony Khan more than Fozz hates HR.
I would insert a Don’t Touch Me You Filthy Casual meme here but Mike Brown was too cheap to get the rights, so here’s a 10 hour Youtube video of Navi from the Nintendo 64 game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
Navi 10 hours – YouTube
I worry that football is not hyped enough.
Lions @ Packers. Oh man, can you imagine if DET wins.
/Jared Goff
//Dan Campbell
///will still watch—pft, DUH
I could have sworn Berman was an extra in The Walking Dead.
He’s built for Scooter Dead
Fastest three minutes? I beg to differ — any time spent with Chris Berman constitutes an eternity.
Matron Saint still looking terrific.
Yeah. More power to her for the way she handled the Namath thing even though none of us will ever think of her in any other way.
She dealt with a shitty situation better than almost anyone. A real pro.
So, Washington will be starting a quarterback named Heineken? And will likely still beat the Giants?
Did someone say the Secret Word?
Does Buddy have a new favoUrite player in Queen? I mean we know he is in Queens regularly.
Did they replace Derek Carr with a fucking storm trooper tonight?
The FEMA kind.
Peyton Manning looks like a natural on the camera, just inexperienced.
Eli Manning looks nervous as hell.
Also, why are the cameras at crotch level?
FFS, I’m down less than a whole point and the ravens do that shit
Baltimore going from the Ravens to the Masques of the Red Death
Latest Reason Why COVID-19 Will Kill Us All
My friend’s work is requiring vaccines or mandatory testing before they go into work. However, they are requiring people who get vaccinated to take two weeks off work after getting the vaccine, either unpaid or using their PTO time.
I thought we’re supposed to encourage people to get the vaccine, not give them reasons not to!
Those employers are sweatshoppy AF
Do the Ratbirds training staff earn commissions per catastrophic injury?
If they send a few more players to the Graveyard, they can summon Dark Magician and put him in at RB in Attack Position.
Because if there’s one thing football fans like to celebrate while watching a game, it’s sobriety.
Fuck me
I see Balls is going with the Direct Approach.
I’m listening to the Manning broadcast. How many times has the main broadcast mentioned that there’s a gay guy on the field?
Wait, Maxx Crosby has substance abuse issues, too?
More like Maxx Crosby Stills Nash and Young, folks!
Hey, this Elimination Challenge is fun. I never knew Fantasy Football is this fun.
Go Ravens!
“Go Ravens?”
tumblr_inline_mt7itkyMz61r7lhpt.gif (349×262) (bp.blogspot.com)
Mark Davis = still weird-looking
I didn’t know reality would have a buffering problem until I saw his face.
He’s like a fat version of his dad and it looks so fucking weird
I keep expecting ray Lewis to curse
Why did you find the knife?
Raiders fans rolling into Allegient Stadium like
They wished they looked that cool.
It’s like an “expectation vs reality” for trump supporters
I have to go to the bathroom.
I remeber one time I went to the bathroom, and then the eagles forced a fumble in the super bowl.
I haven’t taken a piss since.
It was YOUR fault!
I wear that medal proudly
Thank you for your service sir.
Dude, not on the couch!
Too late
Did you raise your hand?
My hand? No, not my hand.
Anyone else have trouble loggin in?
Anywhoo how the fuck you doing internet beings?
Like with everything football-related, you just need to try harder to make it happen out there.
He didn’t want it enough.
I ate the cookies and refreshed History 101! I don’t know all my passwords and am now fucked. I PUT IT ON THE LINE DAMMIT!
I still remeber that hilarious run eli had against the dolphins
The Raiders secondary is making Sammy Watkins look competent.
Call them the Rat Pack cuz they are performing behind Sammy in vegas
They shoulda saved this crab legs graphic for when the ravens play the Saints
That really would’ve fucked Jameis right in the pussy.
I’m sure the Raiders will find a way to get it back in the hands of Cole as soon as possible
that’s NC State’s AJ Cole WOO
Nice muff!
Oh, Derek Carr gon’ get that yuuuuuugggggge contract now!