Afternoon Scotchy Delight (Ignore the Authorship)

All words that follow belong to Scotchy, by the magick of e-mail (the Aqib Talib pic is based on Hippo’s joy at the new announcer pairing).


Many, many thanks to Hippo for helping things along as I (and Rikki) try to sort out what the banana is going on with my pooter.

To The Games!

Minny vs. Arizony:

It looks like wr Hopkins will be primarily matched up with Peterson, who did his usual shutdown thingy last week to the tune of 13 yards receiving allowed. His partner-Breeland-was in a giving mood and gave up 113 yards. Quietly effective fantasy qb Cousins best do all his leg stretches and more pre-game ‘cause he’ll be running plenty-though it’ll be away from Chandler Jones and Co.

Falcons/Bucs:

You’d have thought (well, I did) that Ryan and Ridley would rack up all kinds of garbage points last week but the O was just that futile. It should play out that way for the rest of the year, starting here. Funny how Brady found another division that sucks balls and gifts his team a 6-0 or 5-1 record. #notfunny

Cowboys/Chargers:

If the fur, I mean, balls don’t fly in this tilt many fantasy folk’ll be upset. But between Dallas’ piddly excuse for a secondary and Prescott and Friends firepower, that over/under of 55 should be toast. Joey Bosa can’t wipe the grin off his face given that La’el Collins has been switched out for Terrence Steele.

Titans/Seahawks:

Tennessee allowed 4 passes of more than 20 yards last week and goodness me, I believe that very well might be one of Wilson’s strengths. Ah yes, his total of 60 scores of 20+ yards since 2016 is numero uno in the league. Unleash the hounds, um, Metcalfs! This doesn’t look like a good gamescript for Henry but he does have a habit of bouncing back from lousy performances. We shall see.

See you down below.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Gatoraids

13 years with collinsworth what did Al Michaels do to deserve it. Need a Dark Side of the Announcers Booth

Redshirt

I just want the story behind Thom Brennaman and him casually saying an F-slur and nuking his career. I’m still trying to figure out how a guy with no history of homophobia just drops that bomb like it was nothing.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Horatio Cornblower

Well, you see Redshirt, what happened was that there’s a deep drive to left by Castellanos, and that’ll make it 4-0.

Gumbygirl

He’s clearly been trying to gnaw his way free, hence the lack of upper teeth.

Doktor Zymm

Ok, that was fun, back to nap sleep

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Come on, Kelce, score 3 or 4 times

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also, trying to push Jake’s inception infusion comment down a bit.

TheRevanchist

Honeybadger

litre_cola

Why is my pic up there?

TheRevanchist

Man, your post is so weird.

140386C7-8DD3-41C4-811D-21294E00A40E.png
TheRevanchist

Figured it out. The website is being funny, in that same way that people thought Rush Limbaugh was funny.

Hint: he wasn’t.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone else stuck with the Emmys?

Dunstan

Why would you be….

oh, wait, you just got married, right?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yup

Dunstan

I’m assuming that you actually possess more than one screen in your household, so is this one of those “we MUST watch the same thing, even if one of us doesn’t like it” things that I have never understood about relationships?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We’re on the road, so this is a one tv sitch

Dunstan

Ah, fair enough then.

Redshirt

You got a phone don’t you? If you have cable, they may have an app you can download to watch TV on your phone.

If that doesn’t work, I recommend you fake your sleep or death, your choice.

Petronel
Anthony In TX

Congratulations!

On the marriage. The Emmy thing, uh, yikes. Sorry, bud.

Petronel

Since the second guy introduced on the KC defense sounded way too much like Jordan Peele, I link the below because why the hell not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDp-ABzpRX8

Gumbygirl

That was something. It’s been that kind of day, hasn’t it?

Redshirt

Oh, its gonna be one of those SNF games.

Mr. Ayo

That’s one way to vulture a TD

Redshirt

Ruh roh.

litre_cola

Well I guess I missed the start. I need KC and the over. Let’s goooooo.

TheRevanchist

I love a donk that goes through. Up by 7 already!

Petronel

Badger’d

Last edited 3 years ago by Petronel
WCS

Hahhahahahhahahhahha

Mr. Ayo

Lamar, they don’t need help scoring points.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, i need about 50 points combined from Kelce, A-A-Ron, and Davante. Last year this was a slam dunk, this season I’m a little nervous…

litre_cola

I need 25 from A-A ron and Devante.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Ghost Hobo In the Machine seems to have made his appearance.

hippofant

This is the beginning of the end of Western civilization.

Gumbygirl

Why the hell not? It’s been a weird day. But, good news, my soup looks beeyoutiful, and tastes even better! Now it’s starting to feel like fall.

Dunstan

What’s in the soup?

I’m working on some fall-themed cocktails

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I presume human flesh

Gumbygirl

Not this time!

Gumbygirl

Split peas, ham hock, onions, celery, garlic, carrots, seasonings. Good stuff!

Dunstan

Oh, I’m due for a split pea soup.

ThePirateSloth

Well, what in the gotdamn fuck.

Recovery Whiskey

Gave it away

Mr. Ayo

Terrible loss.

Recovery Whiskey

Calling all kinds of penalties

Redshirt

17-11? Did they add a new five-point score when I was capping my pool?

Redshirt

I’m waiting for CBS to cut the feed when the Hail Mary pass is in the air.

blaxabbath

Texans-Panthers should be a good reminder of just how bad an NFL game can be

Redshirt

I don’t know. I’m still emotionally recovering from the first Bengals-Browns game in 1999.

blaxabbath

Jim Jordan doesn’t know what you’re talking about.

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle choked it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Greg Olsen should sue for copyright infringement.

Doktor Zymm

To nap or not to nap, that is the question

blaxabbath

THIS KLIFF KINGSBURY I CALL HIM BRETT KAVANAUGH BECAUSE HE GREATLY BENEFITS FROM FACING INEPT OPPOSITION AND ENJOYS A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH CHILD RAPIST MIKE BIDWILL!

Recovery Whiskey

The Bud Light logo still means its crap. Doesn’t matter what you block out of it.

Spur

Victory formation
comment image

Brocky

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle still can blow this

Mr. Ayo

Clippers du merde indeed.

Spur

good game

Spur

really dumb play calling here

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle still proving they’re chaos when its needed least

Recovery Whiskey

Missing blonde white girl .. unleash the national media

Spur
ThePirateSloth

What a horseshit “taunting” call

Recovery Whiskey

Really weak taunting call

litre_cola

Really need a Quards fg here.

Brocky

Dang spur making me look bad

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

She has a lot on her mind.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Guess I’m gonna have to look around in the morning for a mobile vet to come by the house and put my old dog to sleep and hopefully remove her remains as well. She finally has got to the point where she can not stand up. She’s too arthritic to get out to the car and my feet are fucked up enough that I can’t carry her there and put her in the car, plus just trying to pick her up results in a lot of howling and protest because of her legs; they’re just like broomsticks.. I’ve put this off as long as possible but I can’t put it off any longer. Breaks my heart.

ArmedandHammered

Sorry to hear that, losing a loved one ( and pets are definitely loved ones) is so freaking hard, especially if the have been close companions.

Gumbygirl

Oh, I am so sorry. But you know it’s for the best..

Brocky

If you have that guilt creeping up in your mind, just know you’re doing the right thing.

My last two dogs died at home due to my own inattentiveness. It’s better this way

blaxabbath

Sorry. It’s a tough call but you’re doing her a great service by getting her proper care when she needs it now. I know it doesn’t make it easy but I think there’s a lot to be said for simply doing the right thing.