It’s good to be back! Many thanks to Hippo for filling in/helping out at the last second yesterday in order that jokery of dick could take place on this site.
Fall Out:
-How does one sprain both ankles? Cause that’s what the ever-injured Wentz did yesterday. Perhaps he’s just exploring new territory.
-I’d avoid visiting San Fran for the duration of the football season. Odds are good that you could be minding your own business, walking down the street and a scarlet and gold-painted van will pull up next to you, throw you in the back, jam some shoulder pads on you and tell you that you’re a running back for the next sixty minutes. It happened to Trenton Cannon!
-Speaking of offensive units that are seriously short-handed, the Browns are down Landry and waiting on OBJ. That means that they’ll have to rely on the trio of Higgins, Peoples-Jones and Schwartz. Good thing they’re committed to the run. You’ll likely hear a few hosannas in the huddle on third and long this coming week.
-There’s a single lonely voice in Chicago. If you listen closely you can hear it extoll the virtues of also-ran qb, Red Rocket. Ignore that 1st round quarterback behind the curtain
-Someone has kidnapped the real Zach Pascal and replaced him with a fantasy sleeper.
To The Game!
Lions/Packers:
-Oh gawd, this has the makings of a brutal tilt. But the good news is that if you need wr Adams to score you a ton of points you’re very well set up. He’s going to be defended by The Spelling Bee Twins, Amani Oruwariye (PFF’s 4th-worst cb last week) and Ifeatu Melifonwu (a rook making his very first start). Jeebuz, that’s no good.
-According to Football Outsiders the Lions were dead last in pass D last year. Green Bay is reciprocating with Kevin King at one turnstyle, er, corner spot although Jaire Alexander is a shutdown guy. The rest of the secondary and linebackers aren’t that talented so T.J. Hockenson should have himself a delightful evening. Maybe 40 points worth? No? C’mon Hockey, do this one solid and I can delay by one week my inevitable descent into the fantasy basement.
-Let us hope that Lions Coach Booyah! has a few tricks up his sleeve, otherwise time is going to slow to a crawl for him tonight.
Give me some of them sweet, sweet comments.
https://twitter.com/HoratioCornblo3/status/1440121715074420736
unpopUlar opinion – Austin Powers was beyond stupid
The first one was good. The others were just bad.
Yeah baby!
I may have only seen the 2nd one? Whichever one had Heather Graham. I would have walked out in the middle if my date had allowed it.
HOCKEY! HOCKEY! HOCKEY!
WOOOOOO
Eli’s smirk makes him look like Bobby Brady hiding in his adoptive sister’s hamper, just waiting for the shower curtain to open.
Even though you couldn’t get that short story published, you’re still getting some use out of “A Very Brady Orgy”.
Jan was probably in the full latex BDSM gear, with a ball gag to keep her quiet.
They wanted me to cut the part with Alice, Sam, and the salami, but a true artist adheres to his vision no matter the consequences.
That parlay is looking better….
We’re all rooting for the parlay, right?
Oh absolutely. That guy has to be literally shitting himself right now.
It’s over $750k, right? On a $25 bet.
That’s what I heard. It’s sports radio, so take it for what’s worth, but it does give me a rooting interest in this game.
I heard even if he wins, it was a promotional type bet so he can’t withdraw the money, only use it on future bets.
What kind of bullshit is that? Call it points, then, if it’s not cash money.
If he were to win those successive bets, then he could withdraw the money, or so I’ve been told. That’s how all thos e betting sites can afford to give out free bets or money or whatever to get people to sign up. Even if you win, you probably won’t actually take that money off site.
I’ve never known anyone who honestly dislikes gronk,
It’s just to me, the acceptance of gronk’s obnoxiousness and meatheaded nature
represents how much of a blatant double standard there is between gronk and players who aren’t white, who don’t play with tom brady, and who don’t have an ethnic “old country” name
I question whether White Maple Obama had solid political instincts in calling ths here election.
Uggh, he fucked around and now we are all going to find out.
It is way too early to panic.
I’ve decided that the maximally funny-yet-not-terrible-for-the-country outcome would be for the Liberals to get exactly the same number of seats they had coming in.
Baby Buster knows – when you get shipped to Detroit, revenge ain’t exactly in the cards
Marvin Gaye’s opening number in The TAMI Show concert film of 1964.
The film is famous for everything being recorded live with no post-production “sweetening.” Everything is authentic.
The backing vocalists are Fanita James, Darlene Love, and Jean King. They were up with “the Wrecking crew” (the stage band) during the entire concert and only came out on stage during Marvin Gaye’s set.
But you can hear just how good they were.
And they all lived positive lives.
So did Marvin Gaye, only if you consider getting shot and killed by your own father to be positive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPc8xgmZ35c
“I wish <i>my</i> father cared enough about me to…hmm, well, maybe not <i>that.</i>.” – Cooper Manning
Gronk is on with ELI and Peyton and I’m never watching football any other way ever again.
I’m stunned that Gronk has a small dog.
I wonder who the NFL’s Crazy Cat People* are?
*probably just the placement kickers
Punters too.
Attractive blonde Moose Party lady seems nervous. Attractive ppl should never be nervous, the geese must be winning
Gotta switch back, cannot stand Gronk doing commentary.
yeah, that was my fault for flipping over
I still lament the loss of lol nfl.
I love the one with eli holding his hands apart: the text reads “after peyton was born, mom’s vaginal was THIS big!
I miss NFL QBs on Facebook.
Oh yes, that was brilliant!
The Bloc Quebecois has entered the fray. Their one seat could change everything.
“Ehh, vee will cast ahur vote for zis… pack of seegarettes.”
48th and 28? NFL BLITZ!
Touchdown Seahawks?
Goff up with the cough up.
Quintez Cephus sounds like what happens when you drink too much of Ken Griffey’s Brain Tonic.
Russ Wilson’s nanobubbles should clear that right up.
Jones running 3/4 speed into the endzone.
Nothing like focusing on Hispanic Heritage Month than doing it during a MNF game in…(checks notes)…Green Bay, Wisconsin?
Who the hell do you think works on those dairy farms?
When I had to travel to Wisconsin for business, we went to a Mexican place for one of the dinners. It was definitely out of place. They had a sign that on Dos Equis Fish Fry Fridays they had the sides of “mashed potatoes” and “coleslaw”.
Mexican restaurant in Norton, MA, was actually owned and staffed by real live Mexicans from Mexico and was actually pretty good.
There was a place in Stafford Springs, CT, (i.e. Nowhere, Middle Of), that had a dive bar vibe restaurant with killer Mexican food.
Query for Balls – can y’all Mexican-Americans excommunicate Senor Cheesehead?
No! He is a national hero, like Bumblebee man from the Simpsons.
Sourry, he stays
If you played in the same division as aaron rodgers, would you really have that much to lose by throwing chop blocks at Aaron Rodgers on every pass attempt?
I like the way you think.
On, I’m REALLY enjoying the Eli-Peyton broadcast.
I like Eli bagging on Fivehead.
YES!
I shifted over to see how it is.
$50 says there are more Jordy nelson Jerseys than davante Adams ones in that crowd…. just saying
Maybe they didn’t get the note that Adams went to Fresno State?
Liberals are up 24-8 on the Conservatives.
is that the Moose party?
Better than 28-3.
TOO SOON, Abed!!!
But have they counted the sheep fucker vote?
No, Alberta hasn’t been counted yet.*
*this joke kills in Ontario
Umm, that could be either side.
Rodger’s has his hair highlighted? He is going full redneck, you never go full redneck.
Have you seen Drew Brees’s hair? It’s a full dye job, and a terrible one, at that.
I am not sorry to have missed that sight.
Is it the same color as his birthmark? That would be fancy schmancy!
Eli’s like Madden with the telestrator. I’m dizzy.
Probably mad they would not let him use the spirograph.
He uses the big fat crayons, in a vain attempt to keep him from eating them.
Etch-a-Sketch would be a safer option.
Edit: Note to self, read ALL comments in a thread before posting.
You spelled Etch-a-Sketch wrong.
Peyton always stole it to draw up plays.
Go Consensual Sex Lions!
oh wow, that ad break reminded me – Jaguras/Jest TNF. That ought to be a Federal holiday.
Surprised they had the balls to advertise it.
NFLN tends…not to update their ads during the season
In Memorium of the Trump Presidency.
Someone in a group chat I’m in besmirched the Matron Saint’s good name. I did not allow that to stand
Time to go full raiders.
YOU HAVE MY AXE!
And my fur coat!
Somehow that Lions score is Rodgers fault.
I’ll take things Aaron Rodgers’ mom says for $500 zombie Alex
I believe in Baby Buster
Well, we know you ain’t Lucille Bluth, then
Team Moose in early troUble? I don’t know how to read y’all’s tea leaves. Plus, WHERE IS MY STEVE KORNACKI
In Canada, he’s known as Steve Kournacki
I’m going to confess right now- I’m watching the Peyton and Eli show!
Manningface screenshots please.
.
RAVENS WIN WE ARE GOING TO WIN EVERY GAME FOR THE NEXT DECADE AND WIN A GAJILLION SUPER BOWLS!
Bourble.
Joining the Niners as RB is like building your house on a flood plain – it’s a matter of when, not if, everything goes horribly wrong
Relax? A.A. Ron don’t look like somebody who wants to come.
Dumbass got what he deserved walking that close to a mother and her calf.
They are evil fuckers, those Canada geese. It’s like they contain all of the repressed rage of our friends up north (except for Scotchy, who expels his in a different way!) Terrifying raptors!
Fucking a
Good news, everyone! We can watch CBC (at commercial breaks obvs) election coverage on C-Span in the States, along with oUr maple brethren
Mrs. Butterworth > Aunt Jemima > maple syrup
Wrong.
The Great Goose or Moose Decision
Moose all the way
A moose once bit my sister…
Moose today
Moose ta-MARR-ah
Moose FOAREVA!
If this really is Rodgers Last Dance he should dance with who brought him, Mike McCarthy. He needs to stop by Irvine, pickup fat boy and fuck off.
Evening Folks
“Spelling Bee Twins” is Good Nomenclature Hustle!
/also, “exploring new territory” – just wait until Mrs. Dakota Jeebus puts a finger up his ass
Evening. May scotchy’s Davante prediction ring true.
It’d better, or it’ll be a bad week for the transients in Northern Ontario.
Evening all, glad I can join you tonight. The boy update, his skin and eyes are so yellow he makes Homer Simpson look like an albino (actually told him he looks exactly like the comic books guy). He can use a walker and get to the bathroom by himself but he is exhausted afterwards. Still no word on when he can come home, but he is more positive about the future as am I.
Great to hear he’s doing better. Getting back into playing shape isn’t easy after something major, so it’s going to be a bit.
Small steps, man. As long as the overall trajectory is positive, that’s all you can ask for.
Worst. Hangover. EVER!
Yep, he has been told no alcohol ever again. Not even one drink.
That is good news!
Good news man. Continued good wishes.