Your Monday Night Football (and Canuck Election Update) Open Thread

It’s good to be back! Many thanks to Hippo for filling in/helping out at the last second yesterday in order that jokery of dick could take place on this site.

Fall Out:

-How does one sprain both ankles? Cause that’s what the ever-injured Wentz did yesterday. Perhaps he’s just exploring new territory.

-I’d avoid visiting San Fran for the duration of the football season. Odds are good that you could be minding your own business, walking down the street and a scarlet and gold-painted van will pull up next to you, throw you in the back, jam some shoulder pads on you and tell you that you’re a running back for the next sixty minutes. It happened to Trenton Cannon!

-Speaking of offensive units that are seriously short-handed, the Browns are down Landry and waiting on OBJ. That means that they’ll have to rely on the trio of Higgins, Peoples-Jones and Schwartz. Good thing they’re committed to the run. You’ll likely hear a few hosannas in the huddle on third and long this coming week.

-There’s a single lonely voice in Chicago. If you listen closely you can hear it extoll the virtues of also-ran qb, Red Rocket. Ignore that 1st round quarterback behind the curtain

-Someone has kidnapped the real Zach Pascal and replaced him with a fantasy sleeper.

To The Game!

Lions/Packers:

-Oh gawd, this has the makings of a brutal tilt. But the good news is that if you need wr Adams to score you a ton of points you’re very well set up. He’s going to be defended by The Spelling Bee Twins, Amani Oruwariye (PFF’s 4th-worst cb last week) and Ifeatu Melifonwu (a rook making his very first start). Jeebuz, that’s no good.

-According to Football Outsiders the Lions were dead last in pass D last year. Green Bay is reciprocating with Kevin King at one turnstyle, er, corner spot although Jaire Alexander is a shutdown guy. The rest of the secondary and linebackers aren’t that talented so T.J. Hockenson should have himself a delightful evening. Maybe 40 points worth? No? C’mon Hockey, do this one solid and I can delay by one week my inevitable descent into the fantasy basement.

-Let us hope that Lions Coach Booyah! has a few tricks up his sleeve, otherwise time is going to slow to a crawl for him tonight.

Give me some of them sweet, sweet comments.