2021 Quotables – Week 8 (Submissions)

Do you people know this place Crumbl? I see they are a national chain of overpriced cookie places. “Oh boy, here comes blaxabbath with his bullshit again,” you’re all thinking, I’m sure. And you’re right! We popped in on one the other day because my wife wanted to bring cookies back to the babysitter for her kids. Fine, whatever. We go inside and it’s too expensive IMHO. Fine, whatever, that isn’t my complaint. We get to the counter and place the order with some girl standing at the tablet who doesn’t move. Fine. Then the thing prompts for a tip. For what, I don’t know, but fine, whatever. Then we step aside to wait for our order. After a couple UberEats drivers come in and get their orders, my wife is called. She gets up to the counter and the girl opens the box and displays the luxury baked offerings we are leaving with. My wife then asks for a sticker to keep the box closed, as she saw on the boxes the UberEats drivers picked up.

“Sorry, those are twenty-five cents extra,” the girl we just tipped and offers us no way of paying for a sticker without going back into an eight person line apologizes.

As a fellow consumer, I just want to beg of the rest of you credit card driven rubes to stop worshipping every place that misspells their one-word company as a BRAND. This is absolutely heinous service. They charge and arm and leg for cookies and then UPCHARGE for a sticker. Holy hell — go to Jack in the Box and ask for extra sauce for your value tacos and the kid will dump a handful in your bag. But fucking Crumbl, we should all be so lucky to give them our money!

So I think I’ve made my point. I won’t harp on it anymore but, for goodness sake, our economy is separating the free market wheat from the chaff here and PLEASE do not empower the businesses that offer absolutely no value to the customer and outright treat you like a piece of shit for asking for the functionality of a sticker on your to-go order. It’s wrong.

And, speaking of wrong, below are your Week 8 Quotables submissions.


“And It’ll happen to yooouuuuuuuuu….”

Your 2021 Dak Prescott MVP Highlight Reel

Lego AJ Green better keep his head on a swivel.

As if Clevelanders had friends…

When your bitch ex-wife’s new doctor husband did his residency in St Paul.
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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Senor Weaselo

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Coach Homer really upping his playcall set.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Legos AND electronic football all at once? I know what a certain retired Giants quarterback will be requesting for his Christmas present.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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“Whatever.”

[bats ball lazily]

Jay Cutler

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I see the ghost of Jacksonville past, and the ghost of Jacksonville present, but what about the ghost of Jacksonville future?

[muffled stream of bubbles]

Oh, right.

Horatio Cornblower

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The real thing is literally one game better than the one is costume.

Don T

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Next on the Manningcast: Michel Gondry

Don T

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This time machine sucks

Gumbygirl

Cleveland cheerleader tryouts. These are the pretty ones

Gumbygirl

Oh for fucks sake, I thought I posted the Brownie and Buzz one!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also works for Trevor Lawrence one

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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This is the celebration dance of a man who just claimed a 10k abortion bounty.

Which to be fair, is usually quite easy on gamedays

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Whoa, is it drugs or CTE?
–Trevor Lawrence

BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“I’ll bet none of those Lego guys are vaccinated either.”
–Allen Lazard

Anthony In TX

How did you know???

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Worst. Furry Convention. Ever.

Game Time Decision

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Looks like McSniff the Coke Hound only got community service for all of his crimes.

Downfield Matriculator

I am glad to see McSniff is making the rounds!

Game Time Decision

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IT RUBS THE BELLY FOR GOOD LUCK

Game Time Decision

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This is a before and after from the “Got Milk” campaign

Last edited 2 years ago by Game Time Decision
LemonJello

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Looks there will be extra bloodletting by Mr. Winkles in the Vikings practice facility this week.

Anthony In TX

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Oh my God, there’s TWO of them???
(unzips pants)

LemonJello

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Is it a Jerry Jones or Robert Kraft costume?

LemonJello

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There’s just too many:

♫If I could turn back time♫

♫Hello darkness, my old friend♫

♫This is the end. My only friend, the end♫

♫Mama told me not to come♫

SonOfSpam

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New from Lego: It’s Lego Aaron Rodgers (Lego Rodgers Family sold separately)!

ArmedandHammered

Kits are actually incompatible with each other!

SonOfSpam

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The mascot “Brownie the Elf” may have a stupid name, but the first iteration “Gary Coleman” was worse.

Anthony In TX

HOLY SHIT

SonOfSpam

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Last time I saw a guy juggle balls that skillfully was in Lindsey Graham’s hospitality suite at CPAC.

LemonJello

I see we’ve reached the point in the season where SonOfSpam runs away with Quotables.

Anthony In TX

There’s almost no point in even trying to compete.

SonOfSpam

Now stop that. Lindsey Graham jokes are lazy and stupid like puns that also suck dick in a closet.

litre_cola

Dark, but very funny.