Do you people know this place Crumbl? I see they are a national chain of overpriced cookie places. “Oh boy, here comes blaxabbath with his bullshit again,” you’re all thinking, I’m sure. And you’re right! We popped in on one the other day because my wife wanted to bring cookies back to the babysitter for her kids. Fine, whatever. We go inside and it’s too expensive IMHO. Fine, whatever, that isn’t my complaint. We get to the counter and place the order with some girl standing at the tablet who doesn’t move. Fine. Then the thing prompts for a tip. For what, I don’t know, but fine, whatever. Then we step aside to wait for our order. After a couple UberEats drivers come in and get their orders, my wife is called. She gets up to the counter and the girl opens the box and displays the luxury baked offerings we are leaving with. My wife then asks for a sticker to keep the box closed, as she saw on the boxes the UberEats drivers picked up.
“Sorry, those are twenty-five cents extra,” the girl we just tipped and offers us no way of paying for a sticker without going back into an eight person line apologizes.
As a fellow consumer, I just want to beg of the rest of you credit card driven rubes to stop worshipping every place that misspells their one-word company as a BRAND. This is absolutely heinous service. They charge and arm and leg for cookies and then UPCHARGE for a sticker. Holy hell — go to Jack in the Box and ask for extra sauce for your value tacos and the kid will dump a handful in your bag. But fucking Crumbl, we should all be so lucky to give them our money!
So I think I’ve made my point. I won’t harp on it anymore but, for goodness sake, our economy is separating the free market wheat from the chaff here and PLEASE do not empower the businesses that offer absolutely no value to the customer and outright treat you like a piece of shit for asking for the functionality of a sticker on your to-go order. It’s wrong.
And, speaking of wrong, below are your Week 8 Quotables submissions.
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Coach Homer really upping his playcall set.
Legos AND electronic football all at once? I know what a certain retired Giants quarterback will be requesting for his Christmas present.
“Whatever.”
[bats ball lazily]
Jay Cutler
I see the ghost of Jacksonville past, and the ghost of Jacksonville present, but what about the ghost of Jacksonville future?
[muffled stream of bubbles]
Oh, right.
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The real thing is literally one game better than the one is costume.
Next on the Manningcast: Michel Gondry
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This time machine sucks
Cleveland cheerleader tryouts. These are the pretty ones
Oh for fucks sake, I thought I posted the Brownie and Buzz one!
Also works for Trevor Lawrence one
This is the celebration dance of a man who just claimed a 10k abortion bounty.
Which to be fair, is usually quite easy on gamedays
Whoa, is it drugs or CTE?
–Trevor Lawrence
https://youtu.be/kcbCu8G80pQ
“I’ll bet none of those Lego guys are vaccinated either.”
–Allen Lazard
How did you know???
Worst. Furry Convention. Ever.
Looks like McSniff the Coke Hound only got community service for all of his crimes.
I am glad to see McSniff is making the rounds!
IT RUBS THE BELLY FOR GOOD LUCK
This is a before and after from the “Got Milk” campaign
Looks there will be extra bloodletting by Mr. Winkles in the Vikings practice facility this week.
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Oh my God, there’s TWO of them???
(unzips pants)
Is it a Jerry Jones or Robert Kraft costume?
There’s just too many:
♫If I could turn back time♫
♫Hello darkness, my old friend♫
♫This is the end. My only friend, the end♫
♫Mama told me not to come♫
New from Lego: It’s Lego Aaron Rodgers (Lego Rodgers Family sold separately)!
Kits are actually incompatible with each other!
The mascot “Brownie the Elf” may have a stupid name, but the first iteration “Gary Coleman” was worse.
HOLY SHIT
Last time I saw a guy juggle balls that skillfully was in Lindsey Graham’s hospitality suite at CPAC.
I see we’ve reached the point in the season where SonOfSpam runs away with Quotables.
There’s almost no point in even trying to compete.
Now stop that. Lindsey Graham jokes are lazy and stupid like puns that also suck dick in a closet.
“You all should be coming to take his job…
And kill a man in a DUI on your drive to take said job.”
-H. Riggs K-Ill
Dark, but very funny.