Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.
Fuck it’s November already. As we’re all bad kids, I assume that everyone is now down to candy corn and Big Turks as the only things left from your kids Halloween loot. Maybe some there some gum or lollie pops left. But really anything good is long gone and it’s just the dregs now. But hey, free candy.
Looking ahead, the clocks move this weekend. While I don’t really mind it, it does seem dumb these days to change it when everything is close to being open 24/7. And that a few places don’t move their clocks always makes for some fun math when trying to schedule meetings.
As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
There was so many shit-show games yesterday that NFL viewership in Germany skyrocketed.
LemonJello
One more note on Brady: LA got the Tampa game and it is very strange to me that I’ve come to appreciate him. He was in command throughout and led his team admirably.
Fuck. I’m starting to like him….
ballsofsteelandfury
You can respect the hell out of him for his on-field heroics while hating his guts for being a pyramid scheme MAGA baby-mama-abandoning weirdo nerd.
Anthony In TX
Here’s something to keep in mind, just in case.
Gumbygirl
This game belongs on Thursday night.
Horatio Cornblower
This game belongs in the pre-season
Sharkbait
This game belongs in a flaming dumpster outside of an abortion clinic, if we’re being honest.
Oh, sorry Mrs. Hasselbeck, didn’t see you there.
Horatio Cornblower
If this game was a fetus, Mrs. Hasselbeck would even abort it.
Sharkbait
This game is also worth 10 grand in Texas.
Senor Weaselo
My taek on Matt Hasselbeck ring of honour.
Buffalo : Don Beebee
New England : Scott Zolak
NYJ : Rich Kotite
Miami: Pennington
Cleveland : The douchebag qb from Notre Dame
Baltimore : The guy who took the fall for Ray Lewis
Cinci: Akili Smith
Pittsburgh: Bubby Brister
SD: The Chicken
Denver: Tebow of course
Raiders: Tuasopopo
KC Jeremy Maclin
Tennesee: Buddy Ryan
Jacsonville: Fuck Tony Khan sign
There is no team in Houston
Indy: Mike Vanderjagt.
Philly: Kevin Kolb
Cowboys: The Italian backup guy
NYG: Jared Lorenzen
WFT: RGIII
GB: Mark Chmura
Det Ty Detmer
Chicago: Cutler
Minny: Ragnar
Sea Hasselbeck obv
SF: Ty Detmer
Arizona Seth Joyner
Rammit: Vince Ferragamo
TB: Blaine Gabbert
Atl: The dude that went with the hooker sb eve.
Saints: Dez Bryant
Carolina: Rae Carruth.
litre_cola
My wife is leaving me for a week tomorrow, heading to Vegas and California for a wedding and family visit. I have to “work” and cannot go.
Nonetheless, this is going to be my first time living by my big boy self since I had my own apartment in law school for about a month before she moved in. No wife, no kids, just me, a cat, a dog, my extremely limited cooking skills, and a gas stove.
This…will not end well.
Horatio Cornblower
“Lying in your own excrement for 48 hours straight is underrated.”
-Jim Tomsula
scotchnaut
Congratulations Matt on being in the Seattle Ring of Honour. You were my favourite coach.
-Trent Green
Game Time Decision
I’m sure Matt Hasselbeck is a decent guy, nice family man and all, but if he is in your team’s Ring of Honor then your team should not have a Ring of Honor.
Horatio Cornblower
Found a funny;
Apple Orchard: Hey do you want apple juice?
Adults: No that is for kids
Apple Orchard: crossing out ‘juice’ I meant cider
Adults: Oh yeah fuck me up
rockingdog
LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO
https://twitter.com/TSN_Jorts/status/1452804658850942979
The Maestro
Senor Weaselo
Editor
October 26, 2021 9:58 pm
Cheating baseball vs. cheating democracy. Because Rob Manfred is a global disgrace.
Bettman is a regional disgrace
Goodell is a national disgrace
Manfred is a global disgrace
Adam Silver looking really good somehow
Sharkbait
Bettman is an international disgrace because he spans two countries.
ballsofsteelandfury
Paging Maestro
litre_cola
Not this argument again. – the hobbit community.
ArmedandHammered
Also, all of you need to get over to Quotables and give RTD and me* some competition this week:
*Note: I will win 0-2, LemonJello and Spam will combine for 3-5
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Just like the Sadie Hawkins dance, I will not be seen as a possible participant.
ArmedandHammered
Kids home since early.
I get home: Dad, I need some laundry done.
Me internally: The Fuck!
Me externally: Put your dirty clothes next to the washer, but next time don’t wait until the last minute.
Me also: *pours drink, download gilf porn
TheRevanchist
“You know where the Febreze is, kid”
Doktor Zymm
The thing about drinking while making dinner is that I get too far ahead of myself and end up drinking too much on an empty stomach, so now I can’t eboeard gam gom
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
True story: the original idea for Sunday Gravy was my idea for a cooking show called “Drunken Chef.”
Concept: have ingredients ready for a kick ass meal but drink constantly during prep and base the outcome on first of all taste, as always, factor in degree of drunkenness and A+B= outcome of post.
I would watch that!
yeah right
/hasn’t watched a baseball game in 5(?) years
Announcer: “Ohh, a pop-up! And…. it’s caught!”
Me: [slits wrists in Manfred]
scotchnaut
That home run quieted the crowd so much, you could hear a trash can being banged on.
LemonJello
you could hear a trash can being banged on
Yeah, I’d prefer not to hear any descriptions of Marjorie Taylor Greene’s sex life, thanks.
scotchnaut
LemonJello
Qj cha jakzh znga uazksksmMa
WHY GHE THE FUCK DID I TURN THE [Thursday night] GAME BACK ON IM STARTING MURRAY WHat tHE FUCK YOU GOD STAB ME IN THE GOD DAMN DICK
Brocky
God:
ballsofsteelandfury
The ’72 Dolphins puts the celebratory Ensure bottles on ice.
Redshirt
Joe Buck: And now a sideline update from Erin.
Erin Andrews: Great news, one the players that almost died on the field can see in color again.
Spur
Found a funny;
If you nut in 2 minutes from doggy style that’s actually 14 minutes in dog minutes
rockingdog
So it would appear that my fifth straight year of not watching the world series will continue the streak
Brocky
RIKKI: [pulls out tablet to look up when the Steal a Taco day is]
DR. MRS. DEADLY: It’s November 4th.
(I love this woman)
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I am playing some Civ and enjoying a beverage before heading to the airport
Doktor Zymm
Have fun smashing tables! Then the trip to Buffalo
litre_cola
[drops tables] – Doktor Zymm
/it’s a database joke
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
More weird things happening in Balls’ bathroom
Gumbygirl
I’m just waiting for DAL to come play at LV so I can unload these tickets for one game to cover blaxito’s community college tuition.
Also, I support the belief that dominating a trash heap of a division does not prepare one for a championship game. But the Patriots made a good run on that exactly so who knows.
blaxabbath
Found a funny;
I love how apples are just like “here I am” and pomegranates are like “you must first pass three trials of strength, wisdom, and courage”
rockingdog
Not going to lie its cold.
litre_cola
Hi Boris! I’m not a degenerate Gamblor, but you put a lot of work into these posts, and you seem very nice! You should hang out with us in Commentland!
Gumbygirl
Mr. Moderna has kicked my ass. Goodnight peeps. Sweet dreams!
Gumbygirl
That fleshlight was not lightly used.
Mr. Ayo
Penn State penalized for illegal touching.
There’s something you don’t see every day.
Horatio Cornblower
Shocking that Penn St is now arguing there WAS touching!
Mr. Ayo
Just once I would like to see a defense constantly commit penalties within their own 5-yard line. The ball keeps getting advanced 1/2 the distance, but can never break the plane, and the game would never end.
Horatio Cornblower
Sharkbait
Got the booster. IMMORTALITY UNLOCKED.
SonOfSpam
LoL
rockingdog
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
I am still fuckin’ riding high on that Zamboni adventure.
I did not get to see Maestro on the Zamboni. I am totally envious except missing is the part where he then held up the driver and drove that sucker out of there and onto The Only Road at the dizzying speeds of several miles per hour.
Maestro, leaving the scene:
[drinks some cid-ah]
Welp, Henry Ruggs killed a guy.
THAT’S RIKKI’S RAIDERS!
Hey guys, long time no see! How about them Raid–
/disappears for another year
Why the fuck does every episode of TMR! have to be a “very special episode”?
Really???
With Davante Adams still COVIDed, thoughts on Marquez Valdez Scantling, Deonte Harris, or Russell Gage as a waiver pick up?
Grab Henry Ruggs III on the cheap!
As always, great job all around, friends.
The MTG-sex-life-trash-can joke was particularly excellent.
Maestro on the zamboni is the highlight for me.
If there was a [DFO] Ring of Honor, that would be an instant enshrinement.
That was wonderful as well! Mainly in the “we’re all elated for our friend who got to do an awesome thing” sort of way.
MTG’s ass getting slammed like a trash can was a whole other sort of thing.
(vomits)
He’s a legend!
Do we have any Virginia residents here? GO VOTE!
Yes, we desperately need to keep Critical Race Theory MANDATORY in the state kindergarten classes!
I was so touched by the story of a high school senior who got such bad nightmares from a book where slaveowners were portrayed as <i>the bad guys</i> that he felt compelled to tell his mommy about it.
EIGHT YEARS AGO.
That story is from 2013 and it’s just NOW being dragged up by the dipshits because they have nothing else they can say.
Did you see the dipshit who called it his number one issue, and yet couldn’t explain what it is? Just die already, you stupid fuck!
“How am I supposed to deny being racist if I can’t claim someone I rarely interact with is calling me racist? Huh? Answer me that, smart guy!”
Hey we have a local election in Colorado today too!
/no one cares
I honestly have no idea where you live anymore. You could tell me you moved to Mars and I’d just accept it without dispute.
Did it Saturday.
I’m just happy to get a respite from all the political ads for a little while.
The Vlad Tepes gif had me laughing for several days.
I sent that to a bunch of people. My favorite response: “I don’t get it.”
Of course you don’t, I forgot you’re a moron. Sorry, my bad!
This Yinzer is now an officially licensed notary to handle all your…. notary needs (?) in the Commonwealth of Pennstucky, which includes…
None of yinz. Well, better luck in the future.
Do you have one of those tres fancy embossing thingys now?
Some sort of official stamp?
Anything?
Honestly curious
Do you have to actually read the documents? Like, pages and pages of legaleze? Nope, not for me.