2021 Quotables – Week 8 (Submissions)

Do you people know this place Crumbl? I see they are a national chain of overpriced cookie places. “Oh boy, here comes blaxabbath with his bullshit again,” you’re all thinking, I’m sure. And you’re right! We popped in on one the other day because my wife wanted to bring cookies back to the babysitter for her kids. Fine, whatever. We go inside and it’s too expensive IMHO. Fine, whatever, that isn’t my complaint. We get to the counter and place the order with some girl standing at the tablet who doesn’t move. Fine. Then the thing prompts for a tip. For what, I don’t know, but fine, whatever. Then we step aside to wait for our order. After a couple UberEats drivers come in and get their orders, my wife is called. She gets up to the counter and the girl opens the box and displays the luxury baked offerings we are leaving with. My wife then asks for a sticker to keep the box closed, as she saw on the boxes the UberEats drivers picked up.

“Sorry, those are twenty-five cents extra,” the girl we just tipped and offers us no way of paying for a sticker without going back into an eight person line apologizes.

As a fellow consumer, I just want to beg of the rest of you credit card driven rubes to stop worshipping every place that misspells their one-word company as a BRAND. This is absolutely heinous service. They charge and arm and leg for cookies and then UPCHARGE for a sticker. Holy hell — go to Jack in the Box and ask for extra sauce for your value tacos and the kid will dump a handful in your bag. But fucking Crumbl, we should all be so lucky to give them our money!

So I think I’ve made my point. I won’t harp on it anymore but, for goodness sake, our economy is separating the free market wheat from the chaff here and PLEASE do not empower the businesses that offer absolutely no value to the customer and outright treat you like a piece of shit for asking for the functionality of a sticker on your to-go order. It’s wrong.

And, speaking of wrong, below are your Week 8 Quotables submissions.