Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

There’s almost too much going on, right? And like Dolly Parton’s eventual passing, the news is top-heavy.

-The Ballad of OBJ. He was held out of practice again and it looks as though there will be a parting of ways. If the Browns were willing to wait until the end of the season they could save 15 mil vs the cap but the former electrifying talent is nothing if not a distraction. All I know is that if I created problems for my 28 year-old son’s employer I’d ask someone to shoot me.

-Aaron Rodgers is smarter than you. And you. And you. He’s smarter than everyone. I’m now immunized to his bullshit.

-Dumb Wr, Chapter The Two: Kadarius Toney came to Henry Ruggs’ aid through the twitter and reminded us all that ‘everyone makes mistakes’, which, although a trite observation, is true. Thing is, the vast majority of us don’t do it while travelling at 156 miles per hour.

To The Game!

Jets/Colts:

-Welcome to The Mike White Experience. I’m just not sure what the fanbase is going to do if he has another above average game.

-One thing he will do is dump off to the Michael Carter’s of the world. He’s thrown 32 passes to rb’s in just two appearances. Alvin Kamara looks towards Jersey wistfully…

-Another rb on a roll is one Jonathan Taylor-he’s strung together five straight 100 yard games (from scrimmage) which only one other back has done this year.

-If the Colts play to form they win this given that they have lost to every +.500 team and have beaten every -.500 squadoo.

Give me your game face.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Status:

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Senor Weaselo

This is really dumb and I’m still mad that my pick for mayor, *checks notes*, Madre Weaselo, only got in all likelihood 1 vote.
https://twitter.com/ericadamsfornyc/status/1456311827550384129

Sharkbait

Don’t fuck up this scorigami Jets

Redshirt

Are you a wizard?!

Redshirt

‘Breaks my heart’: Family of woman killed in Henry Ruggs crash mourn as grim details emerge (msn.com)

Oh, dear God. Its gets worse. If you’re squeamish, don’t read this. All you need to know is Ruggs needs to go to prison.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Redshirt

While checking Twitter to see who they got for College Gameday at UC, I read the comment section to see how pissed people are at ESPN and UC’s playoff rankings. Based on what I read, it might be worth tuning in.

Maybe about 30% of Roman Reigns getting booed after retiring Undertaker at WrestleMania:

WWE anti Roman reigns crowd after WrestleMania non PG – YouTube

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Sharkbait

This game recap sequence music has a very Command and Conquer feel to it.

Sharkbait

Kick the extra point! Don’t go for 2!

Redshirt

Who’s the Jets 4th String QB? Is Flacco active or is still on the Taxi Squad?

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Gumbygirl

I thought they said he wasn’t dressed for the game, but I could have imagined that.

Senor Weaselo

Tom Tupa.

Gumbygirl

I’m going to have a fucking hotdog, are you happy Jets? You have driven me to tubemeat!

Redshirt

…and that is why you pull your starting QB when the game is all but decided. Its not baseball, you can substitute them back in if the other team’s garbage points start to pile up.

JimU

Epic back door cover by the Jets?

WCS

I see I’ve missed exactly nothing, outside of the expected prison rape.

Sharkbait

I’m watching in hopes of scorigami.

Redshirt

“Actually my good sir, this is far worse than that. At least there is some fight and/or resistance.” R. Stephens, Zihuatanejo, Mexico

Redshirt

Is it too late for UC to get the Jets on their schedule, or will the Playoff Committee consider it as harmful to their cause?

Senor Weaselo
JustStopDude

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JimU

Well that should just about do it for this shit show. Until next time.

Redshirt

Fat Guy Touchdown!

Redshirt

At what point should the Colts start thinking of putting in their backups.

JimU

The end of the second quarter?

King Hippo
Sharkbait

Can we get a safety for the safety gods?

Redshirt

Safety Gods: “Hey, don’t bring us into this dumpster fire!”

Sharkbait

Sigh, this is why I’m usually a Saftheist

Redshirt
ballsofsteelandfury

THIS IS THE START OF THE JETS’ COMEB….

I’m sorry, I couldn’t even finish it.

Redshirt

Why in the hell are you talking trash when you are down three scores?!

Doktor Zymm

Ok, booster shot + busy day + greasy pizza + this game kinda sucks = early bed time

G’night Sleeple!

Redshirt

Well this just makes last week’s Bengals loss to the Jets even more maddening.

Don T

Hold my meth
-Titans fans

Sharkbait

Just put on the game, on a scale from one to dumpster fire, how has it been?

Last edited 2 years ago by Sharkbait
Doktor Zymm

Sometimes a car crashes into a dumpster, resulting in a fire

King Hippo

Henry Ruggs + Brett/Britt? Reid

Don T

It’s been… Illuminating
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

On a scale of One to Jets, I’d give it a Jets.

Doktor Zymm

Do you think Aaron Rodgers avoided getting vaxxed because someone told him the vaccine reduces the chance people will catch stuff from you?

ballsofsteelandfury

Rodgers is the guy at the orgy that refuses to wear a condom.

Don T

“I wear this crystal instead”

King Hippo

Wow, Fox sure picked some JV winners this week

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pretty sure they knew this would be a dud when they scheduled it.

NotShogunButShogun

I hate everything, but that’s a catch.

Gumbygirl

That looked like a td to me.

Doktor Zymm

Wow, they managed to make the buttfumble unfunny

King Hippo

yeah, fuck off Pittman!

King Hippo

well, poop

King Hippo

My brain is breaking trying to figure out how to pronounce “Chapecoense

ah do sure like betting on ’em though

Don T

One thing ‘bout Chapecoense: they won’t crash and burn
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Senor Weaselo

When I went to baseball camp we’d play Golden Glove. The way it would work would be counselors/coaches hit ground balls, you field it, throw back, go back in line. Make an error, turn your cap around. Make a second, you’re out.

Occasionally you’d get an easy roller or Sunday hop and they’d say “Too easy” and hit you another.

With that, I say “Too easy,” someone hit him another grounder.

JimU

Josh Johnson to the rescue!

litre_cola

This is a JOSH JOHNSON HOUSE.

King Hippo

I guess Mrs. White ain’t gon’ get her post-game fingering, neither.

King Hippo

Oh, bullshit, Uber Eats. Like Erin Andrews is allowed to eat.

NotShogunButShogun

Can confirm! She isn’t. So twee.

King Hippo

Can you hand her a Diet Coke and say it’s from DFO??

NotShogunButShogun

She is well guarded. But I have ways.

Gumbygirl

This game is officially out of reach. Perfect Thursday game! Now we get to listen to Troy and Joe try to fill the dead air for another half. Ugh.

NotShogunButShogun

DOYLE YOU FUCK! DAMN NEAR HIT ME WITH THAT “SPIKE!” ASSHOLE.

Doktor Zymm

You shouldn’t hang around members of the Irish mob, especially in the Midwest. At least it isn’t February!

Senor Weaselo

Hey, it’ll be easy to spot you in the kabuto helmet.

NotShogunButShogun

Please don’t score. I like my disappointment like my women and coffee: cold and bitter.

NotShogunButShogun

So many loose balls. Like an 80’s orgy in here.

clint greasewood

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Don T

So sad. That mountain had one day left before retirement.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey, look who came to visit!
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Senor Weaselo

I’d like to take this time to congratulate Spam on winning this week, as he has the Colts’ D who are now facing John Jackson Jack Johnson Gonpachiro Kamaboko Josh Johnson

King Hippo

Hey look, Andre from The League is alive! -ish

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I would think football coach is his least credible role

King Hippo

Unless that coach is Marc Trestman!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

OH! FUMBLE JETS ARE ALSO FUN!

King Hippo

Is Balls lurking? Should I bet this here Mexi-fixture?

ballsofsteelandfury

No

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Guess he’s not lurking

litre_cola

He is always lurking.

King Hippo

I blame gravity.

Spur

this game is over.
See you folks on Sunday for some Rodgers shit talking.

You done fucked up A Aron.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

OH! FUN JETS ARE FUN!