Your Second NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s keep it rolling, shall we? We’ve got only the three though.

To The Games!

Chargers/Eagles:

Herbert busted out of the gate to start the season but soon after he lost the right side of his o-line to injury and now he’s struggling a bit. Or maybe teams have seen the tape and are adjusting. He should be able to do something with the manpower of Ekeler, Williams and Allen but as with Mahomes, he likes to throw the deep ball and if that’s taken away things falter. For a team sitting at 3-5 the Eagles look to be in an okay spot. That doesn’t make sense until you take a look at their sked-two games each vs the Giants and TEAM as well as one vs the Jets. Now if Hurts can get to 60% completions and over 200 yards per game the wins should be guaranteed.

Packers/Chiefs:

There’s no accounting for Covid idiocy so there’s no blaming the NFL here. I just wonder who the Rogan Bros will be cheering for here. Green Bay has been slowly developing a fantastic backfield as A.J. Dillon comes along. Each time he’s been given 10+ carries in a game he’s responded with 5.2 yards per carry. I can’t help but feel that Andy and Patty will get this thing figured out.

Cards/Niners:

Kyler is listed as questionable but Coach Young Shanny insists that they’re preparing as though he’s a go. If he doesn’t the whole offense is going to hear a massive record scratch when Colt McCoy shows up under center. Whoever it is may not have Hopkins and will definitely not have A.J. Green-he always finds a way to take himself off the field. Jimmy G finally gets Kittles back but for how long and will he be effective right off the hop?

Do some comments.

 

 

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rockingdog

Aaron Rodgers didn’t get the Jeopardy gig but still managed to become a host.

😂

Horatio Cornblower

OK, this has to get the banner.

JimU

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Doktor Zymm

What’s Zuck doing here?

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll let you know tomorrow. One of my friend’s actually follows the Dallas AM station for Cowboys talk, and I’m sure I’ll get an earful while I’m try to work.

I think this game just shows that my bye week preview might have been semi-accurate: the Cowboys will run away with the NFC East, finishing 11-5 +/-, then get absolutely clocked by a team that won a real division.

I mean, they looked bad today.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The thing is, the Chiefs look absolutely awful but I know they will wreck the Raiders next week by a score of like 61-6 or something.

blaxabbath

Vegas, I guess, has some one-day-a-week watering rule that kicks back up after the summer is over. Because, as you could guess, the dribbling drip systems running for 15 mins twice a week in my front yard is the real water waster here — not the huge fountain running 24/7 or the fabricated port for the pirate ship show everyone agrees is played out.

So the commercial is some kid giving me, the viewer, attitude about turning back my water schedule. It makes me want to blow up the Dam.

Doktor Zymm

TAKE THAT, LAKE MEAD

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What’s the haps?

King Hippo

I’mma lose in my money league to a team STARTING COLT McCOY.

That said….DONKS WOO!!!!

Mr. Ayo

James Conner is apparently a fantasy god without Kyle.

blaxabbath

Remember when San Francisco was coached by Jim Harbaugh and the team had a cheap Colin Kaepernick and made the Super Bowl and two other NFC championships — but then went 8-8 and said some honest things about what morons Trent Baalke and Jed York are so got tossed aside?

I know SF has made the SB since but that was such an obvious fluke season that they followed up with by trading off a bunch of picks for Trey Lance so, yeah, I do hate the 49ers. And always will so long as the York Family Trust is running the show.

Horatio Cornblower

Utter disaster for the Cowboys today, but on the plus side I got a ton of yard work done, we’re ordering out for sushi and fried rice, I found a way to get rid of two bottles of pills that expired 6 years ago, and Jerry Jones is probably miserable.

There truly is a silver lining around every dark cloud.

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

Expired meds just need a little extra love!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m up by 57+ points on RTD in the Gratuitous Simpson’s References League, fading Tyreek Hill and Fat Stafford with Najee Davenport and the Pittsburgh D.

It’s Lime Time!
/Thank god RTD got screwed by the bye week.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s something Tony Romo came up with, so I’m ruling nothing out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Didn’t help that one of my RB’s was a late scratch. This just wasn’t my week.

Horatio Cornblower

I would have used my commissioner powers to adjust that for you, but your only other RB had a bye.

blaxabbath

Las Vegas has union commercials here. I never saw those in AZ, a very weak state for collective bargaining. Is this common in other places?

blaxabbath

I notice the NFL is using cartoons to display player images this year. We’re only about 18 months away from seeing these guys all presented as their Facebook Meta/WOW avatars.

Gatoraids

probably some seasonal NFT scam they are cooking up

blaxabbath

It’s the odds of you winning when everything shakes out.

King Hippo

yeah, disregard entirely. AM VERY ANGRY that the ONE Iggles RB that I no have got that score.

blaxabbath

THESE GREEN BAY PACKERS I CALL THEM ASHLII BABBIT BECAUSE THEY FOLLOWED A LIAR WHO’S NOW LAUGHING IT UP WHILE THEY’RE BEING KILLED.

Last edited 3 years ago by blaxabbath
Spur

banner

Gatoraids

we love to see it folks

Redshirt

Damn, my mental block of all things political. I should’ve thought of that one!

Doktor Zymm

His Persian first name ancestor would be proud!

Doktor Zymm

I’m down with dudes being ladies or ladies being dudes, but fuck everything if how you cross the street is somehow gendered behaviour nowadays

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, what?

Doktor Zymm

Nevermind, the original was ironic and unfortunately got picked up by a transwoman who didn’t know her memes, took it seriously and skewed the intent

Horatio Cornblower

Someone overreacted to something they saw on the internet and went off on it without checking the context?

That never happens.

Doktor Zymm

Threw me off because it was opposite the normal script. And it wasn’t really an overreaction, more trying to use it as additional gender affirmation when it wasn’t appropriate to do so

blaxabbath

No it isn’t. This is 100% media/ad driven hobby talk. No one cares about any of this shit. It’s just making up ‘rules’ for the sake of it so there is some kind of news for Michael Strahan to deliver between pharmaceutical commercials.

Redshirt

Why do someperson have to be a dude or a lady?

Doktor Zymm

Don’t gotta, but I’m not gonna try and type a multi-dimensional spectrum, way easier to bastardize a shitty Aerosmith song

Redshirt

I just follow Doctor Who’s quote of “Ladies and Gentlemen and variations thereupon…”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh good the Raiders just signed DeSean Jackson. This should solve all their problems.

King Hippo

Are we sure Al Davis’ corpse hasn’t been re-animated?

Redshirt

He died but Al Davis sued the Grim Reaper for telling him where he had to reside in the Afterlife.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
Doktor Zymm

I overheard some of the Buffalish speaking about DJax the other day, I’m sure they are happy for you

blaxabbath

To be their D Coordinator?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The defense wasn’t terrible today, actually. Only gave up 16 points.

King Hippo

WTF is going on with this officiating crew?

King Hippo

Dear Horatio – I know you and I totally meant to have a #ShameBet on today’s fixture. Please hunt and peck among all Cornblower medicine cabinets for Hippo.

Horatio Cornblower

Agreed. Had I thought of it I would have.

For some reason we have two bottles of oxycodone that were supposed to be disposed of in 2015. Let me know where to mail them.

Redshirt

Time to play “Is this Good Touch or Bad Touch: Football Version”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh look another stroke of absurdly good fortune for the Chiefs!

King Hippo

I swear to fuck, it seems like I am having a Kubiak. Everything just keeps getting more and more fuckety.

Redshirt

When the Patriots and Tom Brady divorced, the Chiefs got the kids (league).

King Hippo

Lawyerball in Santa Clara, while I fade stupid-ass Colt McCoy in fantasy

Don T

DeSean Jackson is going to the Raiders to fill the team’s cancer hole.

King Hippo

Jesus, what a strange day. Even by FITBAW standards,

Don T

reasonable
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Seeing the Bills lose to the Jaguars makes me feel better about the Raiders losing. Also, I took some drugs. Hopefully those make me feel better, too.

Redshirt
Doktor Zymm

Late window is slow so farcomment image

Doktor Zymm

Mason Crosby has been Green Bay’s kicker for longer than I was in Grad School, and hopefully for longer than I will have to have a real job

blaxabbath

Retire by…..40?

Doktor Zymm

Lol, no, I spent waaaay longer in grad school than you are assuming. I was 33 or 34 I think when I finished my PhD

Redshirt

BLOCK’NOR shows up!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve been calling it BLAPPT.

Redshirt

If we’re going by sounds, its needs to be two quick syllabus to simulate the ball being kicked by a foot and then being blocked a split second later.

Doktor Zymm

Ra has many faces and so does Shan’khlor

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

d’BLAPPT?

Mr. Ayo
WCS

HAIL SHAN’KHLOR

Doktor Zymm

We haven’t posted this in a while
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4gNFL2upZE

rockingdog

Found a funny;

this christmas when my grandma asks when i’m having kids i’m gonna look her dead in the eyes and say “i’ve decided to end our blood line once and for all” and just see what happens

Redshirt

Mahomes is on pace for 32 completions for 140 yards. That’s an impressive amount of checkdowns.

Gatoraids

Chad Henne mentoring at KC paying off

Game Time Decision

Whatever that thing is on Andy Reid’s hat is, I totally figured it for mustard. Disappointed when it’s some dumb design on the brim

Doktor Zymm

Oh cmon, you know he would lick it off if it was mustard

LemonJello

Maybe he was saving it for the hot pretzel one of his assistants ran off to get?

Redshirt

You think Reid would waste time dipping his food in something?

LemonJello

Will it add calories? Then yes.

Doktor Zymm

Maryland is actually much better at crab cakes than football

Dunstan

Got to think the optimal result here is that the Packers lose, and this ends up costing them home field or a bye in the playoffs.

NotShogunButShogun

Except for the rest of the division.

Petronel

Man this game is was purple

Last edited 3 years ago by Petronel
NotShogunButShogun

This ends either Randy Wright, or the 3rd coming of Favre (Jenn sterger excluded).

Spur

I hope Jorden Love does great but Green Bay still loses. Of course am ok with Jorden Love totally sucking too.

Doktor Zymm

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WCS

PRAISE BLEERGH

Petronel

That “VISITORS WANT QUIET – Please respond accordingly” on the Ratbirds scoreboard was awesome

Redshirt

I have applaud that one. That was beautiful.

Doktor Zymm

I really ought to go to one of their games, I think Ballitchmore is the only city where I’ve been to a dirtball game but not a footsball game

Dunstan

Oh, so you’re the person who went to an Orioles game! I heard they had a fan.

Doktor Zymm

I sang the national anthem at an Orioles game when I was in 4th grade! No idea how the game ended, it was a night game and my parents wouldn’t let me stay past the second inning

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My goodness, Vikings. I haven’t seen a golden opportunity squandered that quickly since last week when someone squandered one at 156 mph.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The fuck? I could swear I heard someone all the way down in San Pedro yelling “SKOL!!!”

Mr. Ayo

So glad I switched my SurvivoUr pick from MIA to BUF. Top notch strategy there.

Don T

Sudden change in Bawlmer!

Don T

AJ Brown not playing tonight. I’ll just enjoy the AFC losses then.

Spur
Spur

How’s Urban Meyer gonna party this time?

LemonJello

Driving drunk at 200mph down I-95 while fondling a young woman (not his wife) dressed as a nun?

No, the woman is dressed as a nun.

Urban is bare-assed nekkid.

Redshirt

Finally a Republican I can faithfully support.

Mr. Ayo

Urban grinds out a win without scoring!

Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m telling myself that at least the Raiders had a *reason* to go and shit the bed against the 2-6 Giants. In normal circumstances they would have just, you know, gone and done it without any provocation whatsoever.