Raiders of the Infinite Sadeness (+7.5) at Non-Gendered Cowpersons (4:30, CBS)
Hey, do you know a stripper, I mean entertainer who likes FITBAW? 9 times out of 10, her team is one of these two. A nice tip of the cap from The Shield. And they’ll be working tonight, so here’s to a reasonably fast-paced game.
Is There Action? By gum, there is. I put $50 on Raiders’ ML (+270), because that’s remarkable value in today’s NFL. Especially since both these squadrons are middling/flawed in nature. Also, these can be very high variance affairs (holiday games), so I don’t recommend wagering all chalk-y.
What of the Fantasy?? God help me, I am leaving in old processed ham-head and Gallup – over The Legend of White Mac (and his Black friend, NC State’s own Jakobi Meyers). TRUE WOLVEN SORT TRIVIA – the NFL’s Jakobi and its Jacoby (Brissett)? Both North Carolina State alumni. As is Zach Galiafinakis!
I am also starting Obama Duck (read – Kenyan Drake) in DFO-ball, because I make poor life decisions. I am also sure he will score two TDs the week I drop him for the similarly cromulent Latavius Murray. Like I says – poor life decisions.
Close with a Random Rant? Sure, since you insist, Other Hippo! Today begins parade season. I fucking HATE parades. Why, you might ask? Crowds, standing still (and fucking your already fucked-up lower back even more), traffic hassles? Well, sure. But mainly because Hippo is older than five. And fuck that “inner child” bullshit.
Enjoy that mathematical violence, y’all. When Uncle Joe Stalin becomes Commish, Depeche Mode (unless they are all ded from the needle) will perform the Superb Owl halftime show, and lead with the sport’s new anthem:
BLEERGH might be delayed, but BLEERGH was not denied!
Hippo snorting all the pills.
I see the Cowboys strategy is to tire out the kicker by having him attempt multiple kicks that don’t count.
Just the dumbest fucking team.
If I’m the Cowboys, I calling an Icing Timeout here.
Raiders: False start in a GW FG seems like a good idea!
Cowboys: hold my beer
This game is dumb
I reiterate this sentiment
I just love dueling “I DON’T WANT TO WIN THIS GAME!”s.
Brought out the Reaper powder for my potatoes, even if it was a small shake. Until Hermana Weaselo asked if that was it and I had another larger shake, to show dominance.
And how are things?
Whoa. Raiders MVP of the game is the Cowboys Anthony Brown.
I see Young Guns inherited his dad’s need to over-explain.
You get a block in the back! You get a block in the back! Everybody gets a block in the back!
Oh good, overtime.
Everyone got these rates, even Qaron Aaron
Tails never fails, ya fucking dummy.
Too much time for Derek Carr?
Yes!!!
Gallup had a great 2nd half. Got me 13 FF points for the game which is Rocking!!! 👍
Same for me with Dak! and Schultz.
Dallas’s D has 7 points thanks to that return TD. Don’t ask me why that is.
Sweet!!!
Yea Schultz has been Rocking too!!!
Dak! should have been picked! twice this drive.
Jesus.
pls god no spread Mark Davis the ultimate offense
In hindsight I perhaps should have picked Carlsson off the waiver wire.
Time to give Dallas the game
They’d have to catch it if the refs threw if for them, and I’m not sure they can.
This game is Rocking now!!!
Gallup is catching big passes!!!
Goooooo cowboys! 💯
Aren’t pick plays illegal? Or am I hallucinating again?
Goddammit!!! Every time I get some joy out of the Cowboys they flash to happy Jerry Jones and I need to take a bath with boiling oil.
Any of you in west palm beach? Because I’m drunk and going for a walk as soon as this shit is over.
Glad they showed what the CBS line-up was for tonight, so at least I’ll see something worse than Dallas’s performance tonight.
Mrs Scotchy gave notice at her job today and brought back $120+ amounts of pizza and wings to celebrate. She has never not had a job from the age of 16 but the environment she was in was incredibly toxic. It only took me four months to convince her to quit.
Congrats. Leaving a shit job is always the right move.
Good for her. It’s a buyer’s marker right now anyway so the world is her (Canadian equivalent of an) oyster.
That’d be an oyster. Prince Edward Island has some best ones.
That’s Rocking!!!
The happiest day of my life was the day I quit the post office. No one is ever going to treat me like that again.
BLEERGH gets the turkey leg
He’s earned it.
Ooh, unless the Cowboys lose by one, then you might have to give it to Shank’lor.
Dak has looked terrible 3 out of the last 4 games. His line’s banged up, his top 2 WRs are out, but at some point his missing wide-open receivers and/or throwing balls 15′ away from them has to be on him.
I think today is just a sick joke to get Rikki to stick with the Raiders and then continually disappoint him.