Raiders of the Infinite Sadeness (+7.5) at Non-Gendered Cowpersons (4:30, CBS)
Hey, do you know a stripper, I mean entertainer who likes FITBAW? 9 times out of 10, her team is one of these two. A nice tip of the cap from The Shield. And they’ll be working tonight, so here’s to a reasonably fast-paced game.
Is There Action? By gum, there is. I put $50 on Raiders’ ML (+270), because that’s remarkable value in today’s NFL. Especially since both these squadrons are middling/flawed in nature. Also, these can be very high variance affairs (holiday games), so I don’t recommend wagering all chalk-y.
What of the Fantasy?? God help me, I am leaving in old processed ham-head and Gallup – over The Legend of White Mac (and his Black friend, NC State’s own Jakobi Meyers). TRUE WOLVEN SORT TRIVIA – the NFL’s Jakobi and its Jacoby (Brissett)? Both North Carolina State alumni. As is Zach Galiafinakis!
I am also starting Obama Duck (read – Kenyan Drake) in DFO-ball, because I make poor life decisions. I am also sure he will score two TDs the week I drop him for the similarly cromulent Latavius Murray. Like I says – poor life decisions.
Close with a Random Rant? Sure, since you insist, Other Hippo! Today begins parade season. I fucking HATE parades. Why, you might ask? Crowds, standing still (and fucking your already fucked-up lower back even more), traffic hassles? Well, sure. But mainly because Hippo is older than five. And fuck that “inner child” bullshit.
Enjoy that mathematical violence, y’all. When Uncle Joe Stalin becomes Commish, Depeche Mode (unless they are all ded from the needle) will perform the Superb Owl halftime show, and lead with the sport’s new anthem:
![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)





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