Are you in the playoffs? I think I’ve got it made in three of four leagues but I’ll have to see how things shake out tonight. Can’t believe that last minute fill-ins J. Guyton and K.J. Osborn both came through in Freezer Vodka-that never happens for me.
Newsy Notes:
-There’s a corner of the interwebs that is marveling over Herbert’s toss to Guyton at the end of the half and when I saw it I just said, “of course, it’s the fucking Giants!” After all, they have now given up 59 points in the last minutes of the first half while having not scored a point. But I’ve watched the play several times now and the D played it correctly, thinking that with under thirty seconds left the play would be a 15 yard out pass or a thirty yarder to the middle of the field, a timeout and a field goal. It would be difficult to anticipate that a 64 air yard pass would gently drop into Guyton’s bucket in the end zone. Ballsy call. That’s Herbert’s 10th pass completion over 55+ air yards in a little over a year and a half, btw.
-These Walking Boots Were Made For Walking: Speaking of big arms, Josh Allen is in a boot and has no idea what his injury is. I wouldn’t get too excited because these days the walking boot is used quite a bit to relieve any sort of strain on a foot injury and speed healing.
-Speaking of Foot Injuries: The Ravens medical staff (as of this morning) wasn’t sure if LAMAR! had regular sprainage or (oh no) high ankle sprainage. The latter would of course would be very bad news.
-All of the Fins rb’s are Covided! If things remain the same you could see a backfield of has-beens Lamar Miller and Duke Johnson or noobie Gerrid Doaks.
To The Game!
Rams/Cards:
-Thank goodness Arizonny is home for this big tilt, right? Thing is, they’re 3-2 there and undefeated on the road. Must be the humidity.
-Rams went all-in and grabbed Von Miller and promptly gave up an average of almost 30 points in the month of November. You would think there’s just too much talent along the line and at linebacker and they’ll get it figured out.
-Sony Michel, it’s your time to shine. What do the Cards two losses and two closest wins have in common? That would be getting steamrolled by the opponent’s run game. Average yards given up have been 166 in those tilts. Not better news-they give up an average of 4.7 yards per play on the ground which is the 2nd-worst in the league. Sounds like a fatal playoff flaw to me.
-To pull this one out Stafford has to avoid turnovers-he has a 23-3 TD/INT number in the Rams wins.
Go ahead and type. You know you want to.
WR bumps into DB: Great route running!
DB glances a piece of thread hanging from WR’s jersey: PASS INTERFERENCE!
Van Jefferson’s biggest fan? Gotta be Marc Trestman.
Thing of beauty when Stafford throws a deep ball.
I LOVE IT WHEN HE GOES BALL DEEP!
“Penalty flag on the play. Its gonna be third and short.”
No, it not. In what scenario would a penalty be declined?
Posting this just in case anyone missed the whole Nancy Reagan Throatus thing, because it is the best thing to come out of twitter recently
https://crooksandliars.com/2021/12/nancy-reagan-madonna
If only she coulda met LBJ
RAMMMMMMMDOWN
1st timeout 44 seconds into the 2nd half. That’s promising.
Hopefully Deandre Hopkins can get some more catches and a TD!!
Need the fantasy football pts!!!
That would be Rocking!!!
I’ve switched over at half time to the Liga MX Women’s semifinal and it’s a PACKED house in Monterrey for Tigres.
That’s awesome!
Tigres won 4-0, btw.
-Florence Henderson, on walking into Robert Reed’s trailer without knocking.
No Mannings until January?! Who let this happen?!
I can’t explain it but I still love Boomer doing the highlights with the music rolling in the background. Dun dun dun dun dun dun-dun, dun dun dun dun da dunnnn
Me too.
Yup. It gives me flashbacks to pre-internet times and only being limited to the same three or four football teams a week.
Also rocking, the John Tesh NBA song.
Marzipan smuggling ring! 😂🤣
I know they are just tubes of garbage meat, but hot dogs are delicious
Sure, but is a hot dog a sandw-
/gets beaten over the head with lead pipes by literally everyone
I do like how high-end hot dog makers feel the need to emphasize that the protein slurry that congeals inside their casings isn’t the regular garbage, it’s better than that!
Boarding at halftime, this flight is timed perfectly!
For those that may be thinking I was taking a cheap shot at Brenda Warner-if you watch the NFL Films bio of Kurt, his wife claims that she knew what was best for him (retiring) and prayed so goddamned hard to Jesus that Jesus came to Kurt to deliver her message. The self-satisfaction on her face as she said this tells me everything I need to know about her.
No, please cheap shot away. She deserves our scorn.
When Stafford limps, I wonder if it’s injury or gout.
I’d stay away until you’re safely past any pee tests. You don’t need that stress,
Going to tuck into one of the Snaxx Balls sent me it says Exceso Colorias and Exeso Sodio, that means extra awesome right?
Probably! Mmm, fried salt
That’s a guaranteed visit from the MSG Fairy, amigo.
“Huge fan of your Tuck Rule!”
-anon, Tampa Bay
How are they?
They are the lime and chili Fritos and they are some tasty!
Excessively awesome!
Ok RAMMMMMMIT let’s get some pre-halftime points.
Kupp td preferably
Nope just some Gay field goal.
Shoulda picked a Bisexual-I heard they kick both ways.
That was purty
Co-starring Anna Paquin as Brenda Warner, the Christian harpie that tried to steal the spotlight from Kurt at every single opportunity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koqQnyGeKbs&ab_channel=MovieTrailersSource
I think I remember her hairdo looking like a used eraser.
That’s mean and quite funny.
She was great in the original Ghostbusters!
She totally pegs him.
If it doesn’t tell the story of this Underdog, we riot:
You’re kinder than The Onion
Didn’t know that existed somehow. It’s glorious.
I have this bookmarked.
As any bad influence should
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-weed-stay-in-your-system
I don’t mind Tirico so my rage is aimed directly at the same 5 damn commercials we get in Canadia. I need to find a Mexican feed just for the commercials.
55-yarder from Matt seals my loss this week. Hoo-boy that’s (a nice kick by) Gay!
Big Gay kick!
OBJ playin like he’s on FF against Revanchist.
WAIT
The Bers are on prime time next Monday?
The Arizona Coyotes are still a thing?
The only reason I know that the Arizona Coyotes are an NHL team is because I saw them play against the Kings one time at the Staples Center.
I’m picturing actual coyotes trying to ice skate and it is hilarious
Roller skating
I have demanded a Viking funeral.
Being buried in the plot to the left of where you’re supposed to go?
If I was a Coyotes fan, I’d demand that my corpse be pushed off a cliff.
Well, they can’t pay the players, so they have to hunt and gather their food.
The more painting I get done, the more I realize how little care or effort the shitty professional painters put in. Today I painted behind the radiators, where they didn’t bother to paint. How did I accomplish this epic task? I WENT TO THE HARDWARE STORE AND BOUGHT A MINI ROLLER FOR $3, THEN DIPPED IT IN PAINT AND MOVED IT UP AND DOWN ON THE WALL.
whoa whoa whoa, I need you to go over that again, not all of us here are doktors.
Whoa whoa whoa, you should have called a boiler professional.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s with all the ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa’ responses?
No need to be JaMichal Hasty with home renos.
Assuming we end up closing on this condo, there is an aggressively green wall in the main room that needs to become a soothing blue, so I joined Nextdoor to get recs for painters. What a fucking cesspit. I thought my neighborhood in Birmingham was petty and ridiculous. Pikers compared to the desert folk!
Now I am curious what shade of green that is. Lime green? Kelly green? I am using a nice pastel green shade called ‘eucalyptus’ in my living and dining rooms, with a darker green called ‘chrome green’ (because it’s that green on vintage cars) as an accent color. Sky blue in the bedroom, and probably the foyer as well since I have a lot left after painting the bedroom
Kermit the frog green. The main bedroom is green too, but a much calmer shade. The second bedroom is a nice sky blue. I love color, but not the kind that will give you a migraine!
* Kermit the Frog with a touch of jaundice. It’s bad.
Also, good luck on closing!
Shoulda run it
Sudden change? What’s ol’Fatty Sackford gonna do with this?
I need Kupp and Gay to combine for less than .04 of a point to win this week.
Yahoo has given this the traditional 1% chance of happening.
I need the Rams D to score almost 40 points to win in Freezer Vodka league, also the 1% chance.
No win for you, then I play the Weaselo in the playoffs.
LOLLLL
Wife is vomiting, Deci just sharted and Litrepug just pooped on the floor. All atthe same moment.
I need Kupp to outpoint DHop to backdoor into the plaoffs in one of my money lgs. Hail Gamblor.
Congrats on being the only living thing in your house not leaking!
Thanks! I looked around, cleaned up 2 messes and then went and smoked a bowl.
That’s a solid immune system!
You shooting a pilot episode for German TV?
I was thinking “That’s My Fozzes!”
Wife is vomiting, Deci just sharted and Litrepug just pooped on the floor
G.G. Allin: “Is this heaven?”
Litre: “No, it’s Canada.”
I just got carded for wine at the United Club, I guess surgical masks make me look younger, lol
Whatever you do, don’t give them your guitar
Eli, with Cooper and Peyton’s urging, won’t come out of his room for ManningCast because he hasn’t finished his letter to Santa and is now convinced that Christmas will be cancelled.
“Man, cancel culture is just the worst.” – Jon Gruden
Found a funny;
you want me to drink water. the thing that killed jack in titanic
Urban’s next press conference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuAKnbIr6TE&ab_channel=JamesAnderson
I would prefer this:
Years ago, I was looking in the local (Charleston, I think) paper at the tv listings. I decided not to watch “Microwave Dog Training.”
Hahaha these are great!
If there was ever a show for Sandy Duncan, that would be it!
She was perky. I hate perky.
And now I’ve got the Love American Style theme song in my head…
🎵something something red, white, and bluuuuue🎵
As a young ‘un I somehow came across “Love Italian Style” which was super spicy for the time. Imagine my excitement when I found “American Style”. After several episodes I realized there was no connection whatsoever between the two aside from the title. Lesson learned.
No Mannings? Sad.
I know!!
They have been the best thing about this season. Whodathunkit?
“Booger in Burgundy” is going to be a smash hit on The Fashion Channel”.
If your boogers are burgundy, see your doctor right away.
Unless you’ve been snorting red wine, then it’s expected
Maybe team-building exercise orgies aren’t a great idea, especially among the same position group. DUE BETTER MIAMI smh
god. I loaded up on Miami dolphins for my playoff roster week 15. Tua, D. Parker, kicker sanders, and the defense. Simply because they’re playing the jets. Look at me now…
LOL
Famous Last Words
“I shouldn’t have gone to the theater.”
“I shouldn’t have given up on art school.”
“I shouldn’t have voted for the Reality TV star.”
“I shouldn’t have taken the ball out of Joe Burrow’s hand.”
I give retired football dudes like Steve Young and Randy Moss extra credit for not piling on the pounds post-retirement.
I’m more impressed by offensive linemen after retirement. It’s like the fat melts away but the muscles stick around for a while.
Have you seen Joe Thomas? He looks like he belongs in an issue of Men’s Health.
.
“Looks like the Monday Night Football thread is up. Hmm. Much earlier than usual.”
