Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

As I type the Lions are up 17-0 and that’s a bit weird. The Reynolds fella that I slagged in the game intro has 14 carries under his belt and is running at a 4.2 yards clip. Why do I mention this? Because I’ve got 250 words to get to and I don’t have much to say. Related? The Zach Attack has the Jets up 17-10 over the Fins. Up is down folks. Coulda sworn that Miami would have smoked them now that they can sniff a wild card spot.

To The Game!

Saints/Bucs:

-Taysom’s throwing motion is as bad in its own way as Tebow’s was. Feel free to list other lousy qb throwing motions-another that comes to mind is Vince Young. As for Hill, he’s a lousy football player but a lovely fantasy asset.

-T.B., both the player and the team have been piling up the points since Gronk returned. Funny how that dopey, loopy kid makes everything click for Tom and Co. The Bucs have 30+ in games since he’s been back in the lineup.

-Fournette practiced fully on Friday so there are no worries that the run game would be placed into the hands of the very ordinary Ronald Jones. In all three of Tampa’s losses they’ve failed to run for 75 yards.

-Given the dearth of wr talent on the Saints it’s a good thing that Kamara heated up last week and looks ready to go again this evening. That said, the run D he’s facing is a different kettle of pirates.

Have at it.

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Fronkenshteen

Saints D is masking the fact that their offense in absolute garbage. Michael Thomas is one smart mother fucker.

rockingdog

LOL Bucs are poopin rite now 💩
0-6 vs the saints

Mr. Ayo

The good news is the new MacGruber series is out so we can watch something with less incompetence than this Bucs offense.

rockingdog

Also I hear Station Eleven is good too.
I read the book a couple months ago. The book was ROCKING!!!

Fronkenshteen

This is costing me money

Mr. Ayo

This 3rd quarter, I call it my life, because there was no scoring then, and very little before!

Brocky

Did anyone else have a fever dream of God standing at the edge of heaven, pissing off the edge of the clouds, and writing “fuck you brocky” so big in the snow in Antarctica that it can be seen from space?

Doktor Zymm

Too bad god didn’t try to piss Elon Musk’s SpaceX flight out of the sky

Fronkenshteen

NELSON FUCKING MUNTZ LAUGH

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lady BFC and I watched the Holiday, which I had never seen before. We both agree it isn’t good, but now we’re in a mild disagreement over Cameron Diaz being hot.

Mr. Ayo

Wait, who’s on which side?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m on the correct side

Fronkenshteen

From above, Tampa looks like a warm, clean, futuristic place to live. If only cameras could convey the sedition, halitosis, and narco-insanity contained in the same footage.

Brocky

The good news: state government policy dictates workers get a certain amount of paid holidays, one for Christmas and Christmas eve, meaning I get a paid holiday on Thursday to make up for Christmas being on a Saturday.

The bad news? I have to have all my work done in three days instead of five

Doktor Zymm

You get Thursday? We get Monday

Sharkbait

I get Christmas eve observed.

Doktor Zymm

I think the only official NFL merchandise I would buy nowadays is a calendar of punters recreating pictures of the Rockettes

herodotus450

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Brocky

Ref #1: should we call a flag?

Ref #2: is this a superbowl?

Ref#3: no, it’s a game where brocky needs more than 20 points from brady

Ref #1 that settles it. No flag

Sharkbait

My DFS lineup for this game:

Fournette
Hill
Godwin
Evans
Bucs D
Trautman

This is going to be an excellent second half.

Brocky

Tom I don’t score touchdowns when Brocky starts me in fantasy Brady

clint greasewood

Better HC Job? Las Vegas or Jacksonville?

Mr. Ayo

HI! I’M MARK DAVIS!

litre_cola

We know my feelings on the Khans.

Doktor Zymm

They’ve been going downhill ever since Kublai

Doktor Zymm

Speed skating is awesome

Col. Duke LaCross

My house is about four blocks away from where they’re holding the trials. Tried to get tickets and it’s sold out.

Fronkenshteen

I need a year off from JB Smoove.

LemonJello

Cooper Manning would be a good replacement as Caesar.

NotShogunButShogun

So does he.

Don T

For me, Smoove on “Curb” is very funny. His incredulity that Dr. Frankestein would create the Bride of Frankenstein and NOT tap her is a 2021 personal highlight.

Fronkenshteen

Not questioning his comic genius. But my god, he is so marble mouthed.

Don T

Heh heh. I hadn’t heard that expression before.
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Doktor Zymm

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Fronkenshteen

Fucking benefit of the doubt from every fucking official for twenty years. Madison cawthorn looking motherfucker.

SonOfSpam

Oh, Mike Evans is ded now too.

I hate Mike Evans, but only because he legitimized Manziel in college.

Fronkenshteen

Right?

90DD5FCA-9206-4580-AD4A-55CD80792CA1.jpeg
Doktor Zymm

Fournette has gotta get his carries in now before Fivenette gets to the league

Game Time Decision

Threenete wasn’t very good with football but was great at bball

Fronkenshteen

Love me some Byron Leftwich. Cashed on a lot of Unders in his games.

Fronkenshteen

Saints are fucking UP for it. And they do not like Tom Brady. Eeeeexcellent.

Doktor Zymm

Just gotta hope the Saints don’t go putting a comma after UP

Fronkenshteen

Who am I, Jonny grammar?🤓

SonOfSpam

Bo Nix to Oregon is promising from a wackiness standpoint.

herodotus450

ppl forget his first career game was against Oregon and, if random internet rabble are to be believed, his offensive coordinator in that game is now the coach at Oregon.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

LemonJello

Mandatory: HAIL SHAN’KHLOR FROM WHOM ALL BLESSING FLOW!

SonOfSpam

Always nice to see a Succop fail.

Fronkenshteen

[does Carlton Dance]

2Pack

Everything folks. My day is just starting, on the road to go conduct my counties bidnezz…

ballsofsteelandfury

A hearty good morning to ya!

litre_cola

Safe travels Italian DFO.

LemonJello

LEFTWICH FOAR JAGURAS COACH!

litre_cola

Next year Freezer vodka lge will have no kickers. Kickers are fucking stupid.

Game Time Decision

Can we drop defences too?

litre_cola

Well due to it being 14 teams. I was going to drop kicker for 1 more bench spot as has been suggested to me. I still like defenses a hell of a lot more than kickers.

Doktor Zymm

Can you make it so there’s no dedicated kicker, but you can start a kicker in the flex if you want?

ballsofsteelandfury

LOVE THIS IDEA!

litre_cola

It shall be so if yahoo allows it.

Sharkbait

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herodotus450

I… Hate… Every ape I see

Fronkenshteen

From chimpan-A to chimpanzee…

clint greasewood

When dose Tebow start pushing a christian gambling site?

BugEyedBoo

I say peddling Evangelical NFTs.

LemonJello

Christian cryptocurrency: Christbucks.

Sharkbait

That Saints drive was so bad I thought Paul Walker was behind the wheel for it

LemonJello

Ted Kennedy’s corpse chuckles at this.

litre_cola

We also would have accepted Pelle Lindbergh

Fronkenshteen

WHAT IN FUCK IS WRONG WITH KAMARA? GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!

Fronkenshteen

Thankfully, he was rendered unconscious from his severe concussion before he could feel the pain of his horrendous knee injury. Why the fuck do I watch this shit?

Mr. Ayo

RIP Godwin’s knee.

Doktor Zymm

I walk away from the game for 3 minutes and someone goes and deds??

LemonJello

He’s only mostly ded.

Doktor Zymm

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Fronkenshteen

Could never figure out the problem with Ronald Jones. Is he just stupid like Christine Michael?

SonOfSpam

I mean, USC so

Fronkenshteen

Number one thing I remember about Michael is that the Seahox RB coaches were absolutely unable to teach him which hand to carry the ball in. Astounding.

The Maestro

Evening, folks. I am full of fried chicken, donuts, and beer, and life is good. Hope you’re all healthy and well.

Doktor Zymm

Did you stick a fried chicken tender through the hole of the doughnut and eat them together?

litre_cola

*add just a bit of hot sauce

Game Time Decision

Holy shit I want this now

ballsofsteelandfury

I feel the name for this food construct should have some reference to anal.

LemonJello

Duh.

The Maestro

Not this time, but I’ve done that with two Krispy Kremes and some Popeyes tenders. That’s gourmet shit when you’re stoned off your ass.

Sharkbait

I’m just starting to feel more human again after the booster, but WOOO BOOSTER!

litre_cola

Did they teach Magick Pj’s to throw? Just tuning in.

Fronkenshteen

Holy shit. Mute button smashed. How is cris collinsworth still employed?

ballsofsteelandfury

You touch yourself

LemonJello

So.much.kompromat.

clint greasewood

He owns PFF. Not only does it collect stats but also blackmail on players, owners, league officials, media members, referees and politicians. Known as СИРИ дерьмо in soviet circles.

Fronkenshteen

9:00 pm and fronk NAWT ded. Taysom Hole and kamara will be the deciders. INTO THE FUCKING BREACH!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

@ King Hippo,

I sent you a message on slack

LemonJello

Didja get that thing he sent ya?

LemonJello

Brady interception? Reverse that call right fucking now.
-NFL HQ to the crew on the field

Doktor Zymm

Do you think there is some sort of Rick and Morty connexioun between Brady and Gronk?

LemonJello

Thoughts and prayers for Covid as it has caught Sean Payton.

NotShogunButShogun

New Orleans has been suffering for years.

herodotus450

“Who wants to make a quick $50 by knocking the fuck outta covid?”

LemonJello

Gregggggg Williams will match that.

ballsofsteelandfury

BREAKING NEWS:

COVID-19 has caught gonorrhea.

NotShogunButShogun

Wait. Gb JUST won the division? I coulda swore it happened like 2 weeks ago. And guaranteed Favre bs on xmas‽ I clearly am on the naughty list.

LemonJello

So, anybody been waiting all day for Sunday night?

Mr. Ayo

I’ve drinking all day for Sunday night. So, sort of.

Don T

For Ayo, with lol
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Don T

Brock Osweiler’s throwing motion. You could hear his arm’s gears on TV.

King Hippo

But he’s so TALL. And my loser(est) son roomed with him!! – John E., Aurora, CO

ballsofsteelandfury

As predicted, my “juggernaut” team (not my words, Spam’s) that scored 182 points last week has shat the bed in spectacular fashion in the first round of the playoffs.

Congratulations, Scotchy, on the win. Good luck on the rest of the games!

ballsofsteelandfury

Even if they went off, you still have players left to play. You’re the winner baby!

King Hippo

I hate Snoop Dogg now.

Don T

Overexposure or U*NC headband?

King Hippo

the “tell us about your close friendship with MRSA Dreamboat” segment

BugEyedBoo

I’m sure Chris Collinsworth’s kid and Snoop are veritable fonts of football knowledge.

Last edited 2 years ago by BugEyedBoo
hippofant

Snoop getting whitewashed by the media harder than MLK.

Don T

🔥