And there’s two more after this one! HAIL SANTA!
Fallout:
-Congrats to Double K-he’s the coach of only the third team with the most wins in the league (tied) that has lost to a team that had the worst record since the merger in 1970.
-Injuries-Godwin is gone with a shredded ACLU, Steelers tight end Friar Tuck drove himself home after the game(!) and Teddy Ballgame is out of the hospital and into concussion protocol.
-The coaches on TEAM’s good-luck habit of licking each other’s faces after practice every day has come back to haunt them. About seven of them (and counting!) won’t be able to weave their less than adequate magic on the sidelines tomorrow.
-Horatio Alert! UCONN’s women’s basketball has fallen out of the Top Ten for the first time since 2005. Wow, 2005, we were so much younger back then.
-Hippo Alert! The Wolven men’s BB squad is on probation for a year because of some funny business with a recruit’s family and some money from Adidas. Have these clowns not heard of a no-show job at a booster’s car dealership or somesuch? It’s not hard to cheat in college-you can look that up in Wikipedia if you think I’m wrong.
To The Game!
Vikes/Bears:
-As is obligatory when the Bears play in December, one must mention the weather-it’ll be 25F and the winds will be coming out of Valhalla.
-It’s Called “Creeping Socialism”-The Vikes lead the league in sacks with 41 but no player has more than 6-just wait until Minnesota republicans hear about this ‘share the wealth’ scheme.
-Personally, I’ll be cheering for these Nordic warrior people because the Giants have Chicago’s draft pick-two in the Top Ten, one in the stink, baby!
-Still, we must not discount the Vikes habit of playing close games, playing down to the competition and frittering away leads late in the 4th quarter-not exactly a winning formula.
Do your thing.
I don’t think these Bearistocrats! like FITBAW very much.
Also, Dakota Jeebus is watching Dingleberry all liek Game Recognize Game
A Byrd muff is technically called a cloaca.
I think these Bears need to get back to their roots-rent a cabin in Alaska, get out there and catch some salmon with their bare hands, rub their backs on some trees, shit in the woods, that sort of thing.
They have the shiting thing down already
Gotta learn to keep it in the woods and off the 50-yard line.
I’m generally against hunting any animal to extinction, but this particular species of bear needs to go.
When things get chippy in Scotland
“The Appy box” They fucking deep fry everything and it is awesome! Irn Bru is an acquired taste like Buckfast. Hooo boy do Scots get blackout fighty wasted on that stuff.
Aka Fuckedfast!
A hearty ‘fuck you’ to your arteries.
Looks like a suicide note to me.
WANT
Yeah, I’d definitely order that.
Except for the Irn Bru, I’m in!
How bad are the Vikings that they’re only up two scores?
The Chi**** coach is going to be fired for being too Nagy.
I ammend my earlier comment; the officiating crew is going to need a police escort to get to their locker room.
After further review, they suck
I certainly hope they’re not going to depend on CPD for that
Pizza guy brought 2 Hawaiian pizzas instead of the 2 pizzas we ordered. I have had just a shit day and this is the nightcap.
The horror. My condolences.
100% a first world problem but still disappointing. I will load it up with hot sauce and make due.
If you have any sweet chilli sauce, that’ll do the job
I sure do!
No jury in the world would convict you.
Outside of maybe Hawaii.
The Bearistocrats!
Oh my. Van Jefferson owners be upset.
THESE REFEREES I CALL THEM PARK RANGER SMITH BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE IT PUBLICLY BUT IT’S PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT THEY HATE THESE FUCKING BEARS.
It’s reaching a point where the announcer is going to encourage fans to throw bottles at them.
Take your banner, good sir.
Gotta play smart and hard.. SMARD
What the fuck is up with that siren? Thar’s really starting to piss me off.
Oh good. I’m not the only one having a stroke.
The fear that I was the only one hearing it is what kept me from complaining earlier. I saw my cat’s ears twitching, so I knew it wasn’t aural hallucinations. Again.
– a paramedic at the end of his rope, contemplating doing something very unethical
-Odysseus
/Herodotus is dropping the ball again-it’s like he’s Evan Engram
Oh my god that is such a shit call.
Based on the level of competence I’m seeing my conclusion is that these are the exact same players from earlier today, and they are simply wearing different uniforms.
Some fake moustaches too!
Is it just me, or is the Soldier Field turf looking even shittier than usual?
This is a job for Shogun!
It’s a promo for Chicago Park Service, the hot new NBC drama on Wednesday nights!
It is, and I’m confused. The sideline “blocks” are weird, and the odd green line going lengthwise is wrong. Like they couldn’t paint the sidelines in one shot, and then raked inside it to save time?
/Wife and I are both bossy-boss types and we had a good-natured argument about who was better.
Wife: “Tell you what, whoever gets the most Xmas presents from staff wins.”
Me: “Guys don’t give each other presents but I do get a few so that’s not fair.”
Wife “Ok, every one you get counts for 1.5.”
Me: “You’re on!”
/She’s currently leading something like 19 to 6.5
Trolling for gifts on [DFO] is not something I expected this year.
That said, what can we send you?
Good wishes count for .25 points. Don’t be stingy!
What about Season’s Condolences for Los Gigantes?
Pity points don’t count!
Not cutlery. I’m not falling into that “accessory” trap again.
I am in my 40s and I still have butter knives with burnt ends from hash hot knives.
3rd and 25?
NFL BLITZ!
Berman keeling over dead during the fastest 3 minutes would be perfection.
You know we’re not allowed to have nice things.
That’s the way everyone watching would have wanted it.
“Not today, old friend…”
Glad to see Chi****’s kicking game is fixed.
SUDDEN CHANGE?!
Captain Dingleberry, y’all!!
JFC Dingleberry.
“Bears fans deserve better” 🤔😆
We really don’t.
Worse, in fact.
Is “better” a poorly constructed dome in the suburbs? Cause that’s probably all they’re gonna get, and maybe another Hairlacher billboard
https://giphy.com/gifs/movie-western-BZQziX6q2hmX6
Mexican League Women’s final is on right now. The stadium is PACKED!
To paraphrase rockindog, THAT’S ROCKING!
This officiating crew will need a police escort just to get to their cars tonight.
@Redshirt with regards to your question in the Raiders thread, yes, this means I’m technically still a fan – I think mathematically they would still have had a chance for the playoffs even with a loss, so I’m still on the books as a fan until they are officially eliminated. But this is an ending I can live with. I won’t be nearly as angry when I say farewell to them at the end of the season.
We know you ran about with the Raiders bandana around your wang. JUST ADMIT IT smgdh
Nagy’s head is so shiny it should be hanging on my Christmas tree.
Hm, I’m gonna put the line on my bedtime at a 20.5 point Nordic lead
QUIZ: Which one jacks it San Diego?
Found a funny;
LITTLE GIRL: *putting a hat on snowman* Frosty?
SNOWMAN: w̸̱̠͈͇̩̃̅ẖ̷̨̜̞̹̾͊ͅo̷͔̲͌͛̆͝ ̷̨̩̹͑h̵̬̜̹͇͋̍͠͠ḁ̶͙̟̫͖̤͑̍̑͘͝t̵̨͇͚̼̭̂͌̕h̴̗̭̘͒́̆̚ ̷̖̻̱̋̈́͘s̸͉̥͓̥̓u̷̙͑͌͋͋͆̉m̸͚̳̜͌̆͂̾̊̌m̷̫̂̽o̵͓͒͛n̵̛͚̺̖̭͔̾̍è̸̠̱̱͓̀̌̑͌̚͜d̵̬̋̽̑ ̵̳̥͓͚̗̹́̽̀m̵̘͋̉̋̑̔͘e̴̝̒͠
LITTLE BOY: take it off
Chi*** head coach flagged for being too naggy.
Talk about People Who Annoy You amirite, zebras??
Who’s winning the match?
Omicron
The good thing about teams using the running game extensively is that the games go by a lot faster!
Running out the clock all game long!
That was quite the conk to his head.
I’m watching the Bears shoot themselves in the feet while Lady Maestro watches Instagram videos of the Rockettes just about kicking themselves in the head.
Relationships are all about finding common ground, right?
It’s actually quite impressive that Bears can operate firearms with their awkwardly large paws and lack of opposable thumbs!
Sassy hip flair!
hmmmm, when I Google’d bears with large guns I found sommet different??
Justin “the Killing” Fields, errybody!
He gets his unique powers by drinking the blood of water buffaloes on the downlow.
I’m not sure Strawberry Fields Forever will be a big Shitsmas seller in Chi**** this year.
There’s a noticeable lack of ads in Canada featuring a snowblower with a bow on it, sitting in the front driveway.
Don’t you just get one from the Queen on reaching age 18 in Canadia?
We did until late November, 1991 and then that bastard Brian May stopped the whole gifting process.
TRUE HIPPO STORY – I napped through #ThePauls Pauling their bestest against TRR!
At this point you’re more brief slumber than human.
/but still mostly a delicate balance of caffeine and opium
Watch the last 3 seconds and u good
yep, saw it in the ESPN “gamecast”
Da Bears tentatively sniffing around the field before they start shitting all over it like it was the Alaskan wilderness.
At least the Bears practice squad gets to wear the fun stripy socks!
If you dont want to watch NFL game, check out the new Louis CK standup. Called SORRY.
Its ROCKING!!!!!
Dave Chappelle is shunned due to an ill-formed transsexual joke despite living in the most liberal town in Ohio.
Louis CK openly masturbated in front of an unwilling participants and he’s back?
Either make up your mind or give me a pamphlet because I’m confused.
CK was out for 2 years. Chappelle hasn’t gone anywhere. He’s currently touring.
Ah, okay. CK got a time out like a Hockey Penalty Box. Chappelle just got a chiding.
I’m up to speed. Glad CK is back, and here’s hoping he keeps his solo act as a solo act.
Neither of them really suffered from getting canceled, and really, one of them absolutely should have gone to prison.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08NlhjpVFsU&ab
https://twitter.com/randball/status/1473065913595437056?s=21
Goldilocks and the 14 Bears’ Quarantine Adventure!
The question on everyone’s minds: Is RTD still a Raiders fan?
You and I both know NFL fandom is a life sentence.
You misspelled “victim”.
Technically, yes. But this victory was kind of like one wonderful last lucid moment with an Alzheimer’s inflicted loved one. After this I’ll be able to say goodbye in peace.
I’m sure Hippo once said this to a pill…