Your Very Last Thursday Night NFL Football Game Open Thread

We made it to the end! Where’s the final boss? I feel let down. We saw more clunkers than eye-catchers, that’s for sure. But we watched-except for those times when we didn’t. Look, we’re all of us  individuals with many diverse interests. We have things to do.

Newsy Notes:

-Of course there’s a shit-ton of Covid-related news. (fucking WordPress doesn’t recognize Covid as a word-it’s only been three months short of two years)

-Dalvin Cook has got it and because he’s unvaccinated he’ll miss the game on the weekend. Nice going, letting your teammates down like that. Did your research address that, dipshit?

-Taysom Hill is in the same boat (a Ship of Fools, if you will) so it’s, “paging Ian Book, paging Ian Book”. He’s the Golden Domer that was drafted in the 4th round, and that’s about all I know about him.

-Hey, non-Covid news!-Aw crap. Turns out that Vincent Jackson, who was found dead in a hotel room last February, had 2nd stage CTE and had drank himself to death by the age of 38. Before the condition started dictating his behavior he had an active foundation that did good things for military vets that had health issues. Everything sucks.

To The Game!

Niners/Titans:

-This one is a tale of two teams on different kinds of runs-the Titans are on a skid of having lost 3 of 4 and the Niners have put it together using a carousel of running backs and have won 5 of 6.

-Whar Trey Lance? He’s behind the scenes and doing well according to Fred Warner. Jimmy G is also thriving-his qb rating of 107.4 the last two months is second only to Qaaron Rodgers. Good for him, putting some figurative oil in the ointment of San Fran’s plans.

-WTF! The Titans run D is on another level. They’ve given up all of 43 yards total in their last two games. That’s insane!

-The clock be ticking for A.J. Brown to be activated for this tilt but Rapaport is saying he’s a go.

Do a thing in the comment section.

 

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King Hippo

/DonT must have lit enough candles to light a small village

King Hippo

BE The Weapon!

Mr. Ayo

I don’t get it. The TITS were missing so many players.

I will never recover financially from last week and this next week seems sure to bury me.

Sharkbait

Red sauce: Made

Cookies: dough in the fridge

About to make a nice tasty cocktail.

SonOfSpam

Unvaxxed Flacco back on COVID list for 2nd time in a month.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

May he not recover

SonOfSpam

He requested unflavored oxygen.

Mr. Ayo

He’s still alive?

And on a professional team?

What’s that, Jets? So Yes, no. Got it.

Game Time Decision

Original flavour Covids?

SonOfSpam

Oh, and a hearty THANK YOU to whomever dropped AJ Brown in the DFO league. He has been a big help so far.

Fronkenshteen

If the only threat is AJ Brown, and he still catches 10 balls on 15 targets for 150 & a TD, you have to fire the D coordinator, right? Asking for a bet.. I MEAN, FRIEND.

SonOfSpam

Handsome terrorist Bobby Saleh would’ve figured it out.

Mr. Ayo

Tebow must be rolling over in his grave.

SonOfSpam

Wasn’t he coat-hangered?

Mr. Ayo

Unfortunately no, but he’s been trained in the ways of penis trimming.

SonOfSpam

Perhaps Tennessee’s strategy of “throw the pass to your best player” is paying off.

Petronel

argh

Petronel

double argh

Mr. Ayo

We’re on pirate ship everyone!

Arrrgh!

Mr. Ayo

I guess OPI isn’t a thing anymore.

Spur
Mr. Ayo

And the Hawai’i bowl is ded.

WCS

Memphis gets to spend Christmas in Hawaii and not do anything but relax? Sounds rough.

Mr. Ayo

As soon to be royalty, you too will realize such luxuries of life.

SonOfSpam

(fewer palm trees in Luxembourg, but better skiing)

WCS

I’m terrified of heights.
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ballsofsteelandfury

The question of the day for me is whether WCS took The Princess into his boss’s office…

Mr. Ayo

I’m assuming his lack of participation here since that post is proper confirmation.

Gumbygirl

My phone seems to be struggling. The battery is almost dead. I will say au revoir, mes amies!

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Cecil Rhodes

Only a French phone would smoke as it is about to die.

SonOfSpam

Just like Joan of Arc.

Senor Weaselo

Grievance addition: The roll of wrapping paper I bought, which lasted all of two shirts, a hat, and some stocking stuffer tchotchkes. I still have not wrapped the things that haven’t come (Padre Weaselo’s Jomboy shirts and Senorita Weaselo’s plush Cheese-kun).

Senor Weaselo

For those of you not in the know, Cheese-kun is somehow the best product placement I’ve seen in a television show. (The show in question is the anime Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion.)
https://twitter.com/mondomascots/status/998399664587096064

Last edited 2 years ago by Senor Weaselo
SonOfSpam

Ah yes, THAT show.

/backs away slowly while maintaining eye contact

Mr. Ayo

Wow! How generous. I can’t wait for my hat.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fucking Tannehill needs to score.

ballsofsteelandfury

He did a long time ago.
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Game Time Decision

Jeanine in a giving mood

herodotus450

Kinda crazy all these sprots teams are renaming themselves and no one’s gone with The Fightin’ Vercingetorix’s

Cecil Rhodes

I’ve always wondered why more teams aren’t named after Lovecraftian horrors. The New England Cthulhus really does just roll off the tongue.

Mr. Ayo

JFC Jeanenne. Get your glasses!

King Hippo

For Xmas? I’d like to hit Jessie Coffield in the face with a shovel.

Game Time Decision

Hippo was in the clubhouse the whole day, officer

WCS

Hippo, what’s the O/U on Urban going back to Gainesville by March? I’d take the under.

King Hippo

I mean, they’ll probably at least give the new feller 4 or 5 games next season. 2 b FARE obvs

Spur
Mr. Ayo

The high school after high school is a must remember line.

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

For the next 4 years, these girls will see a lot of each other!

Mr. Ayo

I’m going to take Bob for everything he’s got!

Cecil Rhodes

Greetings, football-loving larrikins! I sincerely apologize for my prolonged absence — a very small scourge by the name of O. Micron has run rampant through my manservant ranks, so I’ve had to perform all of the tasks around the compound personally! I shall vow to be a better participant over the next fortnight!

SonOfSpam

It is so hard to enslave good help these days.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Tell me about it.” – Dan Snyder, trying to plan for next year’s cheerleader calendar photoshoot

Cecil Rhodes

Is that you, Ramesses II? How are you doing, my good man?

SonOfSpam

Been working a lot in the rubber industry these days.

Game Time Decision

Hoping everyone makes a full and quick recovery

Petronel

Well, face mask by the runner isn’t something you see every day.

Mr. Ayo

BLEERGH is not consistent, but it is constant.

Gumbygirl

You really are Grammatical Mr. Miyagi! Your gnomic statements are very soothing! And that is why you’re my favorite. Don’t tell the others.

Last edited 2 years ago by Gumbygirl
Mr. Ayo

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rockingdog

YES looks like WR Tyler Lockett is coming back for sundays game!!!
thats Rocking!

Mr. Ayo

Can we ban commercials with the tinnitus ring?

I always think I’ve gone deaf or I’m having a stroke.

ballsofsteelandfury

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NotShogunButShogun

The Pauls would rather STAY in the land of cleves!

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Spur

It’s Football or MST3K clips

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Hh4M4vipAo&ab

Mr. Ayo

It can be both.

At least it is for me.

Spur

Evening Folks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You know, Erin Andrews just seems like a genuinely unpleasant person.

Spur

I’ve only seen a peek at her. She seemed alright.

SonOfSpam

Everyone seems alright via peephole-cam.

Fronkenshteen

She got done, man. In public. Cut her some slack.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, I do punts too.” – Shan’Khor

Petronel

Goddammit Janeane, keep the “season of giving” stuff off the field, wouldya?

King Hippo

I have moneys on Nicaragua’s Real Espana, because was either that or not betting on ANYTHING

Senor Weaselo

I assume they’re playing Fake España, or as it’s better known, Portugal.

Fronkenshteen

Consolation round FGs suck.

Mr. Ayo

3rd and 26?

NFL BLITZ!

Fronkenshteen

Son of Will going for 150+ tonight, isn’t he?

King Hippo

Janeane may not have her fastball tonight

Fronkenshteen

He’s got the eyebrows of a waiter, though.

King Hippo

them eye-ties sure knows how to body hair

Fronkenshteen

Couldn’t agree m-

/has throat ripped out by Fozz spawn

Fronkenshteen

Not to jinx it, but barring horrendous referee fuckery, we might have one hell of an NFL Playoffs coming up.

King Hippo

Super Wild Card Weekend already has me tumescent

Fronkenshteen

Right?! January gonna be TITS!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

> but barring horrendous referee fuckery

That’s like saying “as long as it doesn’t snow anywhere in the entire United States during the month of January…”

rockingdog

Found a funny:

The Boys Are Back In Town: But Should They Be? A guide to going home for the holidays in 2021

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That sounds vaguely like something the NYT Pitchbot would tweet.

King Hippo

Stop me if you heard this’un before…but my $100 Tits ML bet is starting to seem ill-advised.

King Hippo

nvm, looks like DonT lit a candle JUST IN TIME

Mr. Ayo

Hippo just unjinxed himself.

King Hippo

/also said “Biggie Smalls” 3x in the mirror obvs

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

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Fronkenshteen

Great. I carried this fuck all season on injured reserve and he waits till I’m out of the playoffs to find the fucking end zone. Thanks Jeff!

Mr. Ayo

Another FF grievance filed.

I did the same.

King Hippo

raises hand in “took Trey Sermon in 4th round”

Fronkenshteen

I drafted Tua and Lance since I’d heard there was no WAY Jeanine would be the starter after week 3. Went great!

King Hippo

You had to assume the Phallocracy’s needs would triumph!

Fronkenshteen

Man, it’s been a long time, and Pam Oliver is still not right after being blasted in the head with a football in 2013.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AZ5hQyekuY

Fronkenshteen

/Don T has ripped the front door off the chat

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I missed the Airing of Grievances. But here is mine:

Men who talk in the mens bathroom. It is a sacred space. A place of solemn, quite contemplation. I don’t want to hear another voice. I certainly don’t want to talk TO you. Fuck, I don’t even want to talk to you on the street, let alone with my dick in my hand. THIS IS BASIC SOCIAL CONTRACT SHIT!

King Hippo

Man, there are SO MANY things I don’t miss about keeping regular office hours. But this…this is pretty goddamned high on the list.

Mr. Ayo
Doktor Zymm

Success so far!

King Hippo

Youse is the hero we all need and no deserve, Dok!

Mr. Ayo

Same, though not of my own choice.

ballsofsteelandfury

BOOSTED!

Fronkenshteen

Slap a bag of frozen peas on that arm and sleep well, my friend!

Game Time Decision

Got boosted today as well. Woooooooooooohoooooooooo

ballsofsteelandfury

Booster Twins!

Doktor Zymm

This whole Eastern time zone thing is messing me up. I guess the game isn’t on for a whole more hour? What a stupid time for games to start

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

RIGHT?!?! I’m stuck in Georgia and I’ll be asleep by the time the game starts.

This is why DFO (and God) endorse Central Time

King Hippo

I will raise this very salient point in my upcoming book, Corpse Fucking Etiquette

Mr. Ayo

Wait, you can drink yourself to death?!?

A) How am I still alive then?

2) How much was VJ drinking?

c) I need a new drink to process this.

Doktor Zymm

Watch “Leaving Las Vegas” and it will answer some of your questions perhaps or not but it’s a good movie so whatever. I would imagine you would need to drink a huge amount to drink yourself to death by 38, especially since he probably got a late start. CTE is a bastard

Mr. Ayo

So I have to drink *more* to get Elisabeth Shue?

Doktor Zymm

I think that is a correct interpretation of the moral o the movie

King Hippo

It’s always nice to go out doing something you love, I always says.