Your Redshirt/DonT Fight To The Finish and Open Thread

Guess who was inundated with every kind of hat ad imaginable all week long? This guy, that’s who. (the personal sacrifices I make for this site, smgdh) Maybe it’s just the football yakkers doing their thing to keep interest up (which is completely unnecessary during the Final Eight Round, by the way) but each “dog” playing this weekend has a legit shot at a win. (I feel there’s no real dog in the Bills/Chiefs game tho)

To The Game!

Bengals/Titans:

-Vrabel mentioned that he wanted to see how King Henry reacted to contact during practice. After sending three practice squadders to the hospital, coach announced that Derrick was ‘ready to go!’.

-Entering Belichick/Reid Territory? Vrabel is 8-0 when his team has had rest.

-Back in 2019 the Bengals were the league’s worst vs the run. After overhauling the D (there are only 2 holdovers from that team) they now sit at 13th. Turning over that many players while assembling that O unit indicates that despite everything you might imagine about about Cincy’s head office, they’ve done incredible work/gotten lucky.

-However! Their o-line features three starters with bottom 10 PFF grades if you’re into that sort of thing. So… quick passes it is. (with the occasional long throw to Chase)

-Speaking of, the fella is 27(!) for 507(!) and 3 TD’s over his last three games. The Titans are middle of the pack DVOA-wise in defending the other team’s #1 wr.

-One thing you can say about the Titans OC Downing is that he is disciplined/stubborn with respect to his commitment to the running game. Don’t expect him to change course if they get down by two scores.

-I mean, that almost certainly plays into the Titans game plan, right? The last thing the Bengals should do is go the quick score route and force their iffy D back onto the field for long stretches at a time-that’ll no doubt catch up to them towards the end of the game.

-Also, Burrow’s tendency to take punishment/sacks doesn’t mesh well with a Titans front four that has dumped the opposing qb on the ground the 2nd-most times this year.

It’s time to make those fingers dance.

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Mr. Ayo

Fun Facts:

1) 25 straight NFL playoff games the leader at halftime won.
2) 18 straight NFL playoff games since there was a lead change in the 4th.

King Hippo

These are not fun if we want Redshirt to stay alive!

Doktor Zymm

This is actually the only type of organized running that I’m okay with. For the record I don’t consider HHH to be organized, so that’s also ok
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litre_cola

Ok, Chasedown time. If he gets one I will buy my wife a jersey. She is a Bengals fan since I made her choose a team when we met.

herodotus450

It’s a good thing you’re based in Cambodia because I beleive forcing someone into Bungles fandomhood is against the Geneva Convention. Which, as we all know, the Cambodians withdrew from in 1987.

Redshirt

Why would someone choose to be a Bengals fan???

King Hippo

I’d agree, but then again I chose to support Everton.

Redshirt

Watching with family. Give me prayers or an alibi.

Doktor Zymm

AND he’s looking out for his joints!
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Redshirt

BLEERGH giveth and taketh away

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jesus, if football uniforms had pockets that ball would have landed in it.

Gumbygirl

I was just bitching to Gumby yesterday about the lack of pockets in women’s clothes. Are you spying on me? Do yourself a favor, and stay out of our bathroom!

Doktor Zymm

Ok, I’m gonna stick around for the end of this game at the expense of missing the first quarter of the next game. This is way too good.

SonOfSpam

lol AJ Brown is ridiculous

King Hippo

how the fuck did Brown catch that? Amazing body control.

SonOfSpam

Refs in New York: “Fuck, I dunno. Gonna go get a snack. Do what you want.”

Gumbygirl

Prepare for loud boooooooing.

Gumbygirl

Wrong again!

Doktor Zymm

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WCS

Trent Green is very excited to be calling this game live from the moon of Mercury.

Mr. Ayo

What is a catch?

Let’s ask BLEERGH!

Spur

hit the ground

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t see how you can reverse that if the defender isn’t wearing a silver helmet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(Raiders or Lions in case it wasn’t clear)

SonOfSpam

Most impactful postseason play by a Hooker since Eugene Robinson!

King Hippo

Our Equine Lord and Saviour should have shared his Owl MVP with her…

Gumbygirl

.

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King Hippo

Uh, I see the ball move.

blaxabbath

Tennessee is a professional football team.

Except for that dope Tannehill.

Doktor Zymm

I think I might know what’s going on here…the Bengals have an inside man
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Last edited 2 years ago by Doktor Zymm
Spur

I should start drinking soon so I can be in prime Rodgers hate mood.

blaxabbath

Oh? You trust EVERYTHING the government tells you?

herodotus450

Joe Montana and Jerry Rice getting up from their rocking chairs: “How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man Giant Tiger Team…”

Redshirt

That’s my fear. It’ll be 49ers & Bengals in the Super Bowl and Montana and Rice come out of the tunnel in the introductions.

King Hippo

As a recovering Donks WOO!!! homer, I assure you that facing the NFC in the salary cap era…is a much more palatable experience.

Fronkenshteen

Supe champs Cincinnati motherfucker

blaxabbath

“Just run the ball and have Tannehill protect the ball and fuck his hot wife who had an affair with Brock Osweiler in Miami. “

King Hippo

But it wasn’t (just) a COCK
It was Brock…Brock…
dun dun dun
BROCK LOBSTER!!!

Redshirt

(does search for “Ryan Tannehill wife”)

I’d give her a pass on that one, but I’d taunt her for settling for Osweiller.

King Hippo

I mean, she slummed it for that goofy fucker, you gotta reckon she banged the entire team.

blaxabbath

A lot of it was an emotional thing.

ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, is the affair confirmed?

Doktor Zymm

Cronus never should have vomited up the Bengals
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did Tannehill even fucking look where he was throwing the ball? Jesus.

Redshirt

Oh, fuck off, Apple!

King Hippo

You pull off a play like that, you should have sanctuary to taunt.

Spur

Live replay
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Mr. Ayo

Oh no, Fanny

Fronkenshteen

Gigantic

Gumbygirl

Nice run!

Gumbygirl

Never mind!

King Hippo

holy cats, nice Tractorcito impression, Dante speeled wrong!

King Hippo

You see, I will enjoy tonight’s scoring fuck-fest between BUF and KC. But I am also loving this physical bare-knuckle fight. Because I likes FITBAW!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Packers-49ers is tonight.

King Hippo

JESUS FUCK MY BRAIN IS GOO

Mr. Ayo

Always verify with Other Hippo first.

WCS

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SonOfSpam

(tomorrow night, fitbaw guy)

Fronkenshteen

THATS WHAT YOU DO YOU RUN THE FUCKING BALL TOUCHDOWN YOU HANDSOME MOTHERFUCKERS FUCK YEAH

rockingdog

MIXXXXXON TD!!!!

Bengals are Rocking 💪

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoS1MCF8AeI&ab_channel=dudewitgun

Redshirt right now (artist’s conception)

Doktor Zymm

ME-OW!
Big Kitties!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, if I’m a Titans fan *now* I’m nervous.

blaxabbath

Front office needs to let Henry pick the next QB.

King Hippo

if you ain’t stop Beatie Mixon
then your Tits gon’ need some fixin!

/apologies to DonT when he catches up

blaxabbath

Tennessee wives wondering if they’re gonna go down as quick as Mixon’s girl tonight.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FUCK OFF YOU FREELOADING PIECE OF SHIT STOP MAKING THE REST OF US GAS-HYBRID OWNERS LOOK LIKE ASSHOLES.

blaxabbath

“Nice commercial! How can I let everyone know I own a hybrid?”

RTD, not aware that everyone knows he’s from SoCal.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Three out of my four closest neighbors have Teslas now.

blaxabbath

Do they all self drive? I want a car that in my next car.

Every time I see a ‘luxury’ car commercial now, I’m like, “does it make me operate it?”

Fronkenshteen

Vrabel always looks like his brain just got stung by a bee.

blaxabbath

I can’t belive dressing bad is in and he isn’t somehow a fashion icon. I mean, put that man on the cover of Vogue.

Last edited 2 years ago by blaxabbath
Spur

Baby Bengals Have No Fear

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King Hippo

Like, do you think The Carpenters and Captain and Tenille had some 70s soft rock faux-West Coast rapper blood feuds?

litre_cola

Orgies. They had orgies.

King Hippo

See, they didn’t have to ASK whether their dicks fit the other’s various orifices. They just found out!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Close to You” was a diss track. The birds were vultures, about to feast upon Tenille’s corpse. PPL forget that.

SonOfSpam

Who can forget the violent Carly Simon diss track?

You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot

SonOfSpam

Bob Crane was the unfortunate fallout, ppl forget that

King Hippo

it BLEW MY 4-year old mind when I realized this song really WAS about him!