INTERIOR – INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES, LAS VEGAS, NV – THURSDAY MORNING
[FRONT DOOR FLIES OPEN]
CHAD JOHNSON: Oh man, smell that fresh home cooking! I’m so hungry, I could eat a pancake horse… AND a horse pancake!
SERVER: Uh, okay? Just you today then, sir?
CHAD JOHNSON: Oh no, I’ve got a whole crew coming! We’re gonna need, like, fifty pancake horses!
SERVER: [Suspiciously] I see… Well, right this way while we prepare the, uh, banquet room, for you and your [clears throat] guests.
CHAD JOHNSON: [Humming the theme song to “Mike and Molly” as he sits down] Let’s see, I’ll have one of these [pointing to menu] until everyone else shows up!
SERVER: You’ve got it. [Disappears into the kitchen]
CHAD JOHNSON: I wonder who will show up? I’m real excited to meet that Justin Herbert kid. I’ll bet he’s had horse before!
[Hard cut to the night before]
EXTERIOR – LAS VEGAS SIDE STREET – WEDNESDAY NIGHT
JUSTIN HERBERT: Oh boy oh boy! I can’t wait to see this new off the Strip show! Thanks, weird guy I bumped into!
[Hard cut back to present]
CHAD JOHNSON: [Talking with his mouth half-full] Well, I guess it’s just gonna be us after all! I’ve been admiring watching you play for a long time!
BREAKFAST PLATE: [Voice sounding like a higher-pitched version of CHAD’S] Oh yeah! It’s an honor to meet you too, Ocho!
CHAD JOHNSON: I’m sorry they didn’t have any fresh horse today, but if you want to come back tomorrow with me, they might!
[Banner image via]
Fucking Mike & Molly. I haven’t laughed so hard since Suh stepped on Rodgers. Little did I know then I would like Suh more.
I’m ready for the Olympics! So are these hosers
https://fb.watch/aZs-ZGjYqn/
Ample CarBoat Parking!
(Vegas femur drumbeat intensifies)
That’s some good hustle guy-who-Snyder-named-his-team-after!
I laughed harder when I clicked on link and read it again. Chad came out better in your post!
/smiley emoji
//damn stuffy laptop
I’d totes go see that show. Just not going to sit in the splatter zone.
No seat is safe.
I need to know why he wrote “I love you” in quotes on that receipt.
“Because he loves them?”
Justin Herbert is changing into Dickie Bennett so gradually but I’LL BE DAMNED IF I’M NOT GOING TO NOTICE.
With a worse OL, Herbert might just develop a limp and emotional trauma.