Chad Johnson Dines at IHOP

INTERIOR – INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES, LAS VEGAS, NV – THURSDAY MORNING

[FRONT DOOR FLIES OPEN]

CHAD JOHNSON: Oh man, smell that fresh home cooking! I’m so hungry, I could eat a pancake horse… AND a horse pancake!

SERVER: Uh, okay? Just you today then, sir?

CHAD JOHNSON: Oh no, I’ve got a whole crew coming! We’re gonna need, like, fifty pancake horses!

SERVER: [Suspiciously] I see… Well, right this way while we prepare the, uh, banquet room, for you and your [clears throat] guests.

CHAD JOHNSON: [Humming the theme song to “Mike and Molly” as he sits down] Let’s see, I’ll have one of these [pointing to menu] until everyone else shows up!

SERVER: You’ve got it. [Disappears into the kitchen]

CHAD JOHNSON: I wonder who will show up? I’m real excited to meet that Justin Herbert kid. I’ll bet he’s had horse before!

[Hard cut to the night before]

EXTERIOR – LAS VEGAS SIDE STREET – WEDNESDAY NIGHT

JUSTIN HERBERT: Oh boy oh boy! I can’t wait to see this new off the Strip show! Thanks, weird guy I bumped into!

[Hard cut back to present]

CHAD JOHNSON: [Talking with his mouth half-full] Well, I guess it’s just gonna be us after all! I’ve been admiring watching you play for a long time!

BREAKFAST PLATE: [Voice sounding like a higher-pitched version of CHAD’S] Oh yeah! It’s an honor to meet you too, Ocho!

CHAD JOHNSON: I’m sorry they didn’t have any fresh horse today, but if you want to come back tomorrow with me, they might!

[Banner image via]

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers is a native North County San Diegan with an affinity for the Padres, beer, whiskey, punk rock, video games and the end of days. If you eat a fish taco with a fork in his presence, you may lose your hand.
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TheRevanchist

Fucking Mike & Molly. I haven’t laughed so hard since Suh stepped on Rodgers. Little did I know then I would like Suh more.

Gumbygirl

I’m ready for the Olympics! So are these hosers
https://fb.watch/aZs-ZGjYqn/

King Hippo

Ample CarBoat Parking!

SonOfSpam

(Vegas femur drumbeat intensifies)

That’s some good hustle guy-who-Snyder-named-his-team-after!

Don T

I laughed harder when I clicked on link and read it again. Chad came out better in your post!
/smiley emoji
//damn stuffy laptop

Game Time Decision

I’d totes go see that show. Just not going to sit in the splatter zone.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I need to know why he wrote “I love you” in quotes on that receipt.

Gumbygirl

“Because he loves them?”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Justin Herbert is changing into Dickie Bennett so gradually but I’LL BE DAMNED IF I’M NOT GOING TO NOTICE.

comment image

Don T

With a worse OL, Herbert might just develop a limp and emotional trauma.