I must have been in a morose daze these last coupla weeks because I failed to realize that the pandemic ended.
The NFL dropped all Covid protocols, and mask mandates are on the outs seemingly everywhere (source: seemingly, K?). Here in Puerto Rico, where we’ve had strict measures since 03/20, it will be no masks starting this Thursday.
I can only say, sigh: dammit. Thus ends the Golden Age of ghosting folks in public; everyone masked is an ironclad “I didn’t recognize you”! I’m especially unlucky because all my acquaintances had grown out of their weird hairstyle phase by 2009.
But why emphasize the negatives. Failing to look at a positive thing about anything could be the cause of a funk, not a symptom. So OK. Here goes: I will not complain about there being less restrictions. In fact, less restrictions align perfectly with me being fucking over any concern about the damn Covid.
I wash my hands adequately, got vaccinated, boostered, and will wear a mask if I wanna. If there is a superspreader event with a rocking band, I will bring an extra bottle of hand sanitizer filled with weed. I can be surrounded with coughers at any theater, and I will only fret about not hearing the damn dialogue. May even start a “Fauci Lyin’ *clap clap clapclapclap*” chant to liven my expulsion and ban.
And if there is a 4th booster or another vaccine, maybe I’ll reject it. Perhaps only out of the joy that comes with being a pigheaded, and therefore free, adult. And hey, if that pisses some people off,
NFL ITEMS
There’s some!
-Tomorrow is the deadline for teams to name Franchise or Transition players. To avoid state oversight, the Cowboys and Texans denied having transitioning players. For the truth, we’ll have to wait for the first depth chart.
-Franchise tagged to date:
- Browns – TE David Njoku
- Bengals – S Jessie Bates III
- – 32.
-Next on the NFL Calendar:
- “A source close to” Q-Aron speculations – Ends March 13
- Legal tampering – Begins March 14
- Free agency – Begins March 16
- FA cauldron bottom-scraping – Begins March 17
- Tommy Bahama Garish Attire Sale – Ends March 26
- Head coaches group pic – March 27
- League Meetings – March 27-30
- Deadline for media to submit Mock Draft 23.0 – April 28
- NFL Draft – April 28-30
- Mel Kiper Ubiquity – Ends May 1st
-Per Schefter, Jets owner Woody Johnson is interested in buying Chelsea F.C. Hot take comin’ thru: Dan Snyder is the only good fit for Chelsea.
-Falcons WR Calvin Ridley got suspended for one year for gambling in NFL games. During the time he took medical leave for mental health,
Ridley placed multilegged parlay bets involving three, five and eight games that included the Falcons to win via his mobile device out of state
Via tweet, Ridley said he bet $1,500 total, denied he had a gambling problem, and
I know I was wrong But I’m getting 1 year lol
— CALVIN RIDLEY (@CalvinRidley1) March 7, 2022
The article names no snitches, but the gambling company totally narCed on Ridley. For the full grandstanding by The Commish, please do not click to link from this page. It’s better if you make a handwritten copy of the link, open a window, light the paper on fire, and watch the ashes flutter away. Now you have self-respect.
Amén.
SPROTS TONITE
All times Central, listings per espen:
NBA
Bulls @ Sixers – 6 PM
Rockets @ Heat – 6:30 PM
Jazz @ Mavericks – 7:30 PM
Lakers @ Spurs – 7:30 PM
Warriors @ Nuggets – 8 PM
PRE-MADNESS EXHIBITIONS
South Dakota @ South Dakota State – 6 PM
Wright State @ Cleveland State – 6 PM
Louisiana @ Georgia State – 6 PM
Furman @ Chattanooga – 6 PM
Charleston @ UNC Wilmington – 7:30 PM
San Francisco @ 1 Gonzaga – 8 PM
Oral Roberts @ North Dakota State – 8:30 PM
Northern Kentucky @ Pursue Ft. Wayne – 8:30 PM
Santa Clara @ 17 Saint Mary’s Gaels – 10:30 PM
NCAA WOMENS’ BASKETBALL
Villanova @ 6 U Conn – 7:00 PM
NHL
NHL NEWS! A reimagined Stanley Cup logo came out today. Best trophy in sports for many reasons, including its intended use:
Tonite:
Kings @ Bruins – 6 PM
Panthers @ Sabres – 6 PM
Leafs @ Jackets – – 6 PM
Avalanche @ islanders – 6:30 PM
Oilers @ Flames – 8:30 PM
FÚTBOL
Tonight in Las Américas.
Argentina Primera Nacional (2nd Tier)
Dear learner of Spanish: Don’t be discouraged. “Primera” does mean “First”, except in the arbitrary realm known as fútbol argentino.
Ferro Carril Oeste v. Independiente – 6:10 PM on the dot! (6:25ish DFO time)
Costa Rica Primera División
Pérez Zeledon v. Jicaral – 8 PM
Colombia Primera A
Cortuluá v. Deportes Tolima – 6:40 PM
Perú Liga 1
Deportivo Binacional v. ADT – 6 PM
Ecuador LigaPro
Deportivo Cuenca v. Gualaceo – 6 PM
Finally, as much as I like the banner doggo, we strive for inclusiveness here at DFO. Cat people, we gots you:
Yeah I’ve been hitting the Simpsons lately. Highly recommended, any time.
I saw a store in Vegas back in January and really wanted to buy one. So many signs appear everywhere telling me I’m old.
I still try to enforce a Hawaiian Shirt Friday around the office, by example. I know, so ’80’s… but I’m retro like that.
Funny shit man, well done. I gotta get my ass over to that Tommy Bahama sale subito! My wardrobe needs some fixin.
https://youtu.be/ZjzfX0eKGtY
https://youtu.be/JKKTyvjPlqU
https://youtu.be/8iuyl6MpYEI
Ice Rams get the last minute goal at Ice Patriots to send the game to OT. WOO STOLEN POINT.
And the winner in OT from Athanassiou who I believe is either South African or Nicaraguan.
Eastern Moldova, he is a bit nervous right now.
Chisinau.
That’s the entirety of my Moldova knowledge.
Playing Tennis with the Moldovans is a hilarious book by Tony Hawks. (not that one) He also wrote Around Ireland with a Fridge, also hilarious
I’ve read it. Can confirm.
That’ll go over well in Southie
If I lived in a state where sports betting was legal, I would live bet the Leafs to blow 3 goal leads every time they get one
You wanna get suspended from DFO for a year???
Is it so wrong that she is what I would normally download?
Last funny;
German energy policy now…
Ht @ JosephPolitano on Twitter
No Steph, Klay, or Wiggins tonight for the warriors….
Yea they probs gonna take the L vs Nuggets
They finally lifted the mask requirement at work today. Almost 2 years. About 70% of us still wore them.
Gonna take some time.
It’s gonna be weird to not wear them inside. Indoor requirements have been lifted here, but I’m still masking at least until Sharkette is fully vaccinated
We’re still under mask requirement.
I head to the office tomorrow morning (just for a few hours) without a mask mandate since back in 2000.
Now ah noe how the slaves must have felt when Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation.
And Lincoln who freed the slaves was a Republican and the KKK was started by the Demoncraps (I have seen that online and oh is it ever clever) and Hunter Biden is the only political failson to get a cushy job and Killary probably made the Central Park Five assault the white girl.
https://twitter.com/EleanorMorton/status/1412457456924598283?s=20&t=P-ph99ZbLi_TOZqSivBnnQ
She is absolutely brilliant. She does a Robbie Burns one too.
https://twitter.com/EleanorMorton/status/1485915011373486083?s=20&t=sikMo-1qlF3x7baB3-UJNg
She’s awesome! My fave line:
Scotland is the only country in the world that dedicates a day to pureed food.
Zero joi de vivre. Can you imagine spending a Saturday night hearing her complaint about stupid stuff?
That Scottish accent just does it for me.
Brilliant
“I bet 1500 total. I don’t have a gambling problem.”
-Cal Ridley
Benefit of the doubt-wise you might be right but idiot-wise you’re all-in.
Duolingo is apparently celebrating Women’s Month by teaching its users words like “uterus” and “menstrual blood”.
The only thing worth less than a Russian ruble is a Russian promise.
Russian salad dressing is shitty too.
Unless on a Rueben. Otherwise yes
LOL
Someone want to do the simpsons meme where the lady is like “but the children, won’t somebody please think of the children?” but replace children with Commercial Real Estate Landlords…
LOL…
With that tweet alone, he should get two years.
EDIT: I meant Calvin Ridley but, to be honest, it can apply to countless others.
I was wearing a mask while passing through the locker room to swim 2500 yards today, and I realized that I’ll be putting one on for the forseeable future when entering any kind of facilities that include a toilet. No reason to be inhaling other peoples’ shit particles if I can avoid it!
As a user of the metric system, I gotta ask-of the 2500 yards that you swam through, how many of those homeowners were pissed?
I had not heard of a flood over here, unless he is swimming in yards in Australia.
Found a funny;
Reasons why people don’t want to return to offices:
-unpaid travel
-packing lunch
-the bear in the conference room
-dress codes
-the bear stole my lunch
-someone help
-my boss told me to take it up with hr
-it’s eating my sandwich
-code switching
Also this shit. Who thought this was a good idea: https://twitter.com/audrawilliams/status/1500669564711014401?t=xx4Q7NT4ot_Q3Zi80bp1JQ&s=19
Working from home was Rocking!
Well, for me it was….
I switched jobs and became permanently remote. It’s great.
That’s Rockingggg!
I mean, the bear is cool and all, those assless chaps just ain’t office attire smh
“The bear snacking on me. And my girlfriend.”
-Timothy Treadwell
.
That is one heavily armed recreational vehicle
Moderna should have pediatric data next week. As soon as it’s ready, Sharkette is getting it and then we can breathe a little bit easier. We’ve been way more conservative in our approach to this nonsense, but we didn’t (knocks on wood) get nuAIDS so it’ll have been worth it.
Plus that puts Vegas and LA in play for Late May.
Spain does the same shit with Primera División RFEF.
That’s the third division to you and me.
League One in merry old England is the THIRD tier
The Tottenham supporters apparently chanted at Lampard that he is a shit Gerrard.
They is on me list now.
I have always thought it pretty bitchin’ that Peru gots an openly bi-team.