Pre-Madness Frenzy – Monday Open Thread

The NCAAs start later this week, but today is all about NFL free agency.

Enough ados.

The Bengals—the Bengals!—have been wheelin’ and dealin’

  • DT B.J. Hill (“3” years)
  • OL Ted Karras (“3” years)
  • OG Alex Kappa (from Bucs, “4” years)

The quotes are not a bit. Remember: except for QBs, NFL contracts fall in three categories: (1) rookie contract, (2) one-year contract, and (3) two years + “Yeah, we’ll see”.

Dolphins – QB Teddy Bridgewater (1 year)

Patriots – S Devin McCourty (1 year)

Non-Gendered Cow Persons – WR Michael Gallup (“5” years)

Steelers – Truf Bisquet. I’ve yet to understand Trubisky’s prominence, except as bitterness fuel

Bears – DT Larry Ogunjobi (from CIN, “3” years)

Chargers – CB J.C. Jackson (from the Pats, “5” years)

Qards

  • TE Zach Ertz (re-signed for “3” years)
  • RB James Conner (“3” years)
  • QB Colt McCoy (“2” years; developmental QBs are cheeeeeeeep)

Jags – WR Christian Kirk (“4” years)

Lotta Twitter heat for the Kirk signing, for the alleged $84 mil given by Jax. It’s not a bad signing. Kirk had very good games, especially when on my FF bench.

Vikings – QB Kirk Cousins (TWO yea—

If Cousins continues to fail forward, he’ll ascend to Heaven by 2024.

RAMMMITT!

  • OL Joe Noteboom (“3”-year extension)
  • C Brian Allen (“3”-year extension)

NY Jets – WR Braxton Berrios

(re-signed 2 years)

C-Hox

  • S Quandre Diggs (re-signed “3” years)
  • TE Will Dissly (re-signed “3” years)

Titans – C Ben Jones Woooo! (2 years)

Bills – G Rodger Saffold?!

 

MARITAL NEWS

There is a phrase in English that, to me, is captivating: “familiarity breeds contempt”. The premise is that getting to know someone will foster disgust. There’s lots of wisdom there, but I can only imagine the hellish chasm that was the Brady-Bundchen household for these last two months.

Ah, it’s bad form to speculate what goes on inside a family home. Although I read somewhere that most sons outgrow makeout sessions with dad.

And hey: when I said “captivating” I meant it. There is no equivalent in Spanish for “familiarity breeds contempt”. For us Latin folks, putting “family” in any negative connotation is Race Treason.

SPROTS TONITE

Listings by espen, all times Central:

NHL

Arizona @ Ottawa – 6:30

 

NBA

Clippers @ Cavs – 6:00

Blazers @ Hawks – 6:30

Nuggets @ 76ers – 6:30

Hornets @ Thunder – 7:00

Timberwolves @ Spurs – 7:30

Wizards @ Warriors – 9:00

Bulls @ Kings – 9:00

Bucks @ Jazz – 9:00

Raptors @ lakers – 9:30

 

FÚTBOL

Paraguay Primera División

Nacional v. Libertad – 6:15

Ecuador Liga Pro

Guayaquil City v. Delfín – 7:00

Bolivia Liga Professional

The Strongest v. Bolívar – 6:00

AND FINALLY,

It’s nice to see that the NCAA Madness spills up to April 4. And now that MLB returns on April 7, there is an opportunity for uninterrupted escapism up to the 2022 World Series. It’s a nice bridge to the NFL season; all I would need is make my mind find baseball absorbing

Sorry; didn’t mean to kink-shame. Happy Pi Day, peeps!

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Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
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TheRevanchist

I am so rooting for Becky Lynch.

2Pack

Thanks for the roll up Don T, funny shit as usual.

Senor Weaselo

The Hudson Valley Renegades are apparently auditioning people for the National Anthem, and if you think your friendly neighborhood weasel isn’t gonna go for that, you’re only slightly wrong because hey, if I can also get Senorita Weaselo on it via violin duo that’s double the money AND it becomes date night!

Gumbygirl

You need a videographer. We need to bask in your reflected glory, like we did when the Maestro rode the zamboni.

TheRevanchist

Best of luck to you both. After this mornings post by Litre-Wife, I’m all about bringing the SO and being supportive.

WCS

My shoes and socks have reached chemical weapon status. I feel Kevin’s angst.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMSOZWHz9xc&t=88s

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
Gumbygirl

Are you a super soaker? They have decent treatments for that now, I believe a wee nip of botox helps.

rockingdog

Also read that Padres superstar baseball player Fernando Tatis Jr hurt his hand and is out for 3 months.
That’s Not Rocking.

Opening Day is April 7th.

rockingdog

Found a funny;

Daylight Savings Time barely affects you when you live your life with no discernible sense of order

Beerguyrob

Currently spending the evening at the theatre.

Beerguyrob

Bruce Dickinson spoken word tour.

9B0DD20D-3F6A-4739-B86F-BA7474C4B075.jpeg
TheRevanchist

Sing 2?

Beerguyrob

More Satanic references.

scotchnaut

Hockey Uphate:

Your beloved Sens outshot the opposition 43-15 and lost 5-3.

:

herodotus450

“Hmmm, what if we let people into the game for free, and charge them a dollar for every shot on goal our team gets?”
Eugene M.

Sharkbait

The Ottawa Senators Monday morning at 9am:

https://youtu.be/RLySXTIBS3c

Senor Weaselo

Hey, they’re not playing the Ice Giants with Shesty in goal, what gives?

Doktor Zymm

Oh hey, there’s a Letterkenny special for International Women’s Day! Imma watch that now

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s awesome! Enjoy!

Beerguyrob

Also, if you didn’t see it, friend of the site & Letterkenny writer Trevor Risk did an amazing Twitter thread last week about the Jaromir Jagr hockey fundraiser for the Ukraine.

https://twitter.com/sunshinesucks/status/1501240972948221963?s=21

Gumbygirl

That made me so happy! Jagr rocks, always has, always will!

Sharkbait

Has anyone seen Our Flag Means Death? I’m intrigued.

yeah right

I started to the other day but my WiFi went down. I may try it tonight when I get home from work.

Gumbygirl

I watched the first one. Started a wee bit slow, but I think it is silly fun. I need to see a few more to be sure.

scotchnaut

What’s Phil Kessel’s favorite bird?

-A Huffin’ Puffin

scotchnaut

Your beloved Sens are outshooting the Cay-oats 32-9 and are down 3-2. Maybe if you cheered harder?

Sharkbait
scotchnaut

Counterpoint: “One hour? Oh my god! Did I grow a big bushy beard? Is my milk expired? You don’t even have to live the hour that’s being adjusted.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_EkxFlVqZA&ab_channel=WCWRULES4LYF

BugEyedBoo

Yeah, Spring Forward sucks, but for a night owl like me the 9:30 sunset is pretty nice.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like it cause I can go to bed an hour early.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am fucking exhausted. How is it only Monday.

scotchnaut

I assume the internets are having a ball with it but I was laughing my ass off as the Sens had the Coyotes penned in their own end for just over two minutes. Fat Phil Kessel was doubled over in exhaustion and begging the refs to blow the whistle. Absolutely hilarious.

Sharkbait

Not gonna lie, I’d take Kessel on the 3rd line for a mid round pick, which is apparently his price. He can have all the New York dirty water dogs he wants

Redshirt

How bad are the Reds chances this year? The 6th highest salary (for now, at least) makes only $3.5 million and it’s Ken Griffey Jr.

BugEyedBoo

Ownership group is probably doing just fine.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, is Ken Griffey Jr. playing or coaching?

Sharkbait

Why the cinnamon toast fuck is there only 1 hockey game tonight?

scotchnaut

It’s about gotdamn time that the league featured the behemoth-in-the-making that is the Ottawa Senators. smgdh…

ballsofsteelandfury

Now I want cereal.

King Hippo

a fuck would also be nice, but since they took backpage down I don’t know how to arrange that no MOAR

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Have you seen the cinnamon toast churros cereal?

ballsofsteelandfury

YES! I’ve eaten it.

Wondrous

ballsofsteelandfury

@Hippo If you can bet on Mexican Women’s Soccer, you should place a large bet on Tigres to win the 2nd half against Toluca.

Just Saying…

King Hippo

interesante!

King Hippo

the lines were muy crazimente, so I bet on there being a 2nd goal (-210 – to make $100)

King Hippo

GOOD JERB BALLS!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

There ya go!

ballsofsteelandfury

And there’s an insurance goal. 😁

scotchnaut

For some reason the Giants signings were overlooked

Wr/special teamer Robert Foster

And

Wr/special teamer C.J. Board

Talk about making a splash!

scotchnaut

Is there any other reason to post?

/I’m just asking questions

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[does a cannonball] – Elisha

Redshirt

Jets got Uzomah. That one hurts.

King Hippo

Much like Uzomah’s knee.

Redshirt

Yeah, I’m thinking that and his Achilles from 2020 why the Bengals didn’t beat 3yrs/$24M. Good for CJ, for getting the payday while he can but it still hurts.

King Hippo

From what I’m sensing around the League (including Donks sending Noah Fant to Truther Land) – any non-elite TE is basically considered fungible.

Sharkbait

Non
Fungible
Tight end.

Cryptobros in shambles RN

ballsofsteelandfury

Also, yes Latinos DO NOT talk bad about family. We may literally kill them, but we do not talk bad about family.

ballsofsteelandfury

The worst you’ll ever hear is: “Cada quien…”

ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly

Redshirt

“He means well, but…” = Subconsciously racist

ballsofsteelandfury

In Latino families, that’s equivalent to “Pretty racist”

ballsofsteelandfury

Baseball is great for napping.

Redshirt

(while watching Reds unload everything of value)

(in Jack Nicholson voice)

“Forget it, Balls. Cincy’s a Football Town, now.”

Gumbygirl

Fun in person. Boring as hell on tv.

Redshirt

If they ever figure out how to have a fan watch a live game VR style, then Baseball will make one hell of a comeback.

Sharkbait

Baseball is fun in person. Other than that, it’s background noise

BugEyedBoo

Baseball on the radio was great, but the Old Lefthander and Marty Brennaman aren’t on anymore.

I remember listening to the Reds with my papaw in the summer, sitting on the porch on a summer evening, waiting for it to cool down a little bit before going to bed. Lighting bugs would be flashing across the street, and there might be some heat lighting off in the distance.

My papaw died while I was still in high school, forty-four years ago to the day today. I still miss him.

Last edited 2 years ago by BugEyedBoo