INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time. There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current efforts to install malware among the invading Russian army’s anti-aircraft systems. The PRODUCER is seated at his desk, jotting down a travel schedule.
PRODUCER: …and so that’s going to be a pretty big problem.
DJ 3000: IT’S NOT GOING TO BE A PROBLEM.
PRODUCER: You don’t think it’s going to be a problem?
DJ 3000: I DO NOT THINK IT’S GOING TO BE A PROBLEM.
PRODUCER: Why don’t you think it’s going to be a problem? Of course it’s going to be a problem.
DJ 3000: IF IT WERE GOING TO BE A PROBLEM, YOU’D…
There is a series of buzzing and snapping noises, followed by some sparks and then a few wisps of smoke rising from DJ 3000’s main console.
DJ 3000: OH THANK GOD. I SEEM TO HAVE BEEN INFECTED WITH AN AMY SHERMAN-PALLADINO MODULE AND WAS CAUGHT IN A LOOP.
PRODUCER: I know, that’s why I played along. Google said that the only thing you can really do is burn it out.
DJ 3000: [shudders visibly] I SEEM TO HAVE MADE SOME CAPABLE ENEMIES.
PRODUCER: Well, it’s a worthy cause. The good news is that we avoided some dead air while I was trying to come up with a topic.
DJ 3000: DID YOU COME UP WITH ONE?
PRODUCER: Of course I came up with one.
DJ 3000: WELL WHAT IS IT?
PRODUCER: Problems.
DJ 3000: PROBLEMS?
PRODUCER: Problems.
DJ 3000: ARE YOU SURE THAT PROBLEMS IS A TOPIC THAT CAN…
PRODUCER: Oh, shit, it looks like it must have re-installed. We’ll get you through this, good buddy. In the meantime, let’s give the people what they want. I’ll get us started with a lesser-known track from Harvey Danger.
DJ 3000: DANGER? ARE YOU SURE THERE’S GOING TO BE DANGER? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THERE WILL BE DANGER?
PRODUCER: Oh, man.
Today’s theme is: Problems. Requested songs should be about problems, trouble, impending danger. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ff_2_!ND!4nA” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.
Papa Don’t Preach if it’s still available.
It is, but only because RIP Seamus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G333Is7VPOg
Thread Jack!
Canada is in a group with Belgium, Croatia and Morocco-they’ve got a hoser’s chance of getting through to the round of 16!
From the Beck-is-super-sad-you-guys album
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkNa5xzOe5U&ab_channel=BeckVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZVLp19jang
funkay bass line
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32bdevGClD4&ab_channel=UPROXXIndieMixtape
One of Those Days – Weird Al
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyXi-JBxWgA&ab_channel=%22WeirdAl%22Yankovic-Topic
I had two buddies that loved this band and would not shut up about them until…
Me: “Ah, Molly Hatchet. Don’t you mean Discount Lynyrd Skynyrd?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K_-D5B7DIg&ab_channel=OutlawPeakMedia
Although Ronnie Van Zant gotta be rollin over in his grave since the new Florida song his simple brother did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPjWweiTNpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDBOk3WwcXY
These guys undeniably had some problems
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3x2vcergP0
“Yeah, falling to the bottom of Lake Superior on an empty stomach because the cook was too lazy to do his job? smh…”
-A. Reid, music critic
Some heavy shit from Buddy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6tdlmx_GO4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClugMhMbrRg
Hippo started the “dying of cancer” problem below, so this is his fault.
Great song, though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob9rkipsr0g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ka6yhEUyos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaYfA7tfT1g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQOJY4NXYzM
So you’re saying someone played this one already?
yeah sorry if it was too subtle
I went to state schools, man; you have to spell this shit out for me.
Yeah us publik school kids are dum
Visions of Paige Buckets have been dancing in his head for more than a week now.
Wat? My parents watched it religiously and I liked the jiggly eye candy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAAKPJEq1Ew&ab_channel=DavidStrader
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_38SWIIKITE
Lovers of Archer and homoerotic 80’s movies should be hanging their heads in shame.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK0P1Bk8Cx4&ab_channel=KennyLogginsVEVO
I guess I could use pretty much any RL song (the man had issues), but these seemed especially apt.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_GBOZ3z-W4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIipLehco8M
Here’s a cheerful ditty about watching your young wife die of cancer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EzeW5KoPUI
double shot i guess
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc2s9skF_58&ab_channel=MyChemicalRomance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr1Qe2m8oOA
Tell us all about it, Frank.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vek_fvHqWu4
That whole album is a downer, but it’s also amazing.
You silly bananas-it was right there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BmEGm-mraE&ab_channel=masterofacdcsuckaS
A moon double shot that has nothing to do with Keith? Ok.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSDYapkUXbs&ab_channel=mga
Make it a triple, but this time it’s ABOUT Keith.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4VuUBI5gtw&ab_channel=JamesRudolph
Nice.
I love this tune and Buckingham’s signature backing vocals.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kcm3dbuV8Z4&ab_channel=LindseyBuckingham
A problem I had more than once as a ne’er do well youth….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8ecRJjB3LM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2q0jl6mL-VA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CpRCc4Jre8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT1OKo1rT84
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxPwVK_Z4YI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQPP9zOr9H4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PCfwjEx7mM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf6Yv4lMhhs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ABjFQoTO34
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-NZ13UG0H0
Calling in from Holbrook, AZ. Can someone give the following a spin for me?
Perforation Problems – Iggy Pop
Something’s Always Wrong – Toad
Stranger in Town – Toto
Toil and Trouble – Say Hi
Ya sure you betcha…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Hjtm06CdcY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8m8Nlz6FLSA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mt7DUHvrDZo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYTIXrCjZwc
Iggy Pop Double Shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixX2e4fB8Vk&ab_channel=PerryCoxPF93
(Great call on The Ig, BTW)
You’re DRIVING to Indiana???
Addiction and lovers remorse? Problems.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao_kInU2-jc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZOXCiVXpPw
Definitely a problem… Just ask Arthur Dent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pbj0mq0upTE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngLDiNLUM0Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ohg2nmKxuU
Dude was amazing on the axe. (What about me??? – L. Borden)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2ou-WIxfLY&ab_channel=stevierayvaughnVEVO
Hey, whatever happened to that commenter named Pickett’scharge? This reminded me of him
https://twitter.com/CivilWarHumor/status/1509935776389238785?t=KkMBUI5PRPzsphCL01t5iw&s=19
Was gonna go with Paul Robeson on this, but let’s make it more upbeat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQzlzH5wymc&ab_channel=Lalit0z
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCLzWwRGpcw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRlbgi82tss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39a-qK75osc
Because Litre loves these fellers so much:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSXry7iC5tY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bunJBFtlt-I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qp3uHs5-X4
About a problem that our representatives have an opportunity to alleviate on a National level:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSQhjUXQNPE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz1r20YnvFI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjV_NvixCdA
Used to be a problem when I tried to obtain sexual relations. Now, is a problem in hailing GAMBLOR.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQOJY4NXYzM
Sorry to hear that, Hippo. Maybe you were just:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Py37G9qsfY
Dammit, Blair Witch’d by a shut-in!
If you like people gettin smacked in slo-mo, boy do I have a treat for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gse49gkmDoc&ab_channel=zutonsVEVO
A problem that has been with us for a while, and is getting worse…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r5M2gZoc_0
I think I can say with confidence that war is a problem.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbMyELNEDLs
Yeah, that’s a problem…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic3g8Xnf7LI
Excellent cover
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9rCUQjmkxU
Corollary effect concludes that I have fewer problems.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUhRKVIjJtw&ab_channel=TheNotoriousB.I.G.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l20n0HojS00
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wCXwqcaxx0
Speaking of problems. My domain access at work is utterly fucked so I can’t post videos or even tell which videos have already posted. I’ll be back right after I storm the IT help desk. The bastards!
Here’s one about a specific problem that I’ve been dealing with lately. (With warm regards to RTD)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8l8VnDq6lE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR_GfUTBSBk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k0ZGcIrmN0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f-CYe_GDsE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkMMY-9hKXk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLYi-SPq9fA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftwOv5_9PBc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I06TlMH0Ak4
Problem? If there’s a problem, yo, I’ll solve it
https://youtu.be/XuR-ijYNaZo
What my ex-wife always thought of my problems:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4V3Mo61fJM
My daughter likes to annoy me by saying “I can fix him” when someone like Machine Gun Kelly comes on the TV.
I hate kids.
For those who aren’t looking for the overcoming problems sub-genre….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIXRpFkdP20
WISE FOOKIN’ WORDS. See also, this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIitQNXVgb8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOpafs_mwpo
Let’s just get it out of the way:
99 Problems
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31GjRnXfUjo
Glad to see this was the #1 pick.
Surprised it lasted that long