This has been a long ass workday. But I’ll be damned AND may Gamblor forsake me: I’ll post this about 30 minutes by the deadline.
A Puerto Rican 30 minutes, K? This is an isolated event, we’ll crush stereotypes at a later date.
I have to get back to work. If you must knowwww, more administrative work. There were some invoices written in the passive voice and I, just… That is unacceptable businessin’, is all. My aim is to convey this precise message:
[DATE AND AMOUNT]
Pay me or whatever.
Just kidding!
Best,
🔪
Oh please. Don’t judge me. If I were you, maybe blame capitalism, huh? Manners > money.
In my humble opinion.
/remembers Mr. Burns aghast “’More important than money?’ Who is this?”
//
NFL NEWS
-The Schedule release is next Thursday. Which, OK.
I’ll have summin’ to say about that. Will update later. No promises on coherence. Here goes. In a just world,
[spastic laughter]
three prime time games (T, S, and M NFs), across 18 Weeks, plus Thanksgiving, means your team will get a standalone game at least once in two months on average. Alas, Jesus Christ.
The Rams were pried from St. Louis to LA with the league’s blessing, and the NFL got validated with an Owl. The NFL knows money; it traffics in no other currency and would put the Jags every other week if–HAHAHAHA you get Jets @ Commies on Sunday Night AND YOU’LL FUCKEN WATCH.
Some teams will be more favored than others. That’s that. No matter how successful your team is, it will never be on prime time as frequently as the Cowboys. So you just have to adjust your expectations. Wish contextually:
- May the Bears be able to take a lead in 2022
- Hopefully, the firing of Joe Judge, and subsequent sterilization of the facilities, will make the Jints competitive.
- Mason Rudolph will disappear from our lives.
But sometimes the NFL and fellow capitalist pigs just get cute and outsmart themselves.
-Tody it was leaked that the Week 2 MNF will be a doubleheader. The Titans play in that MNF but, as you can plainly see: no exclamation point. Any MNF doubleheader after Week 1 is unprecedented, but goddamit the schedule:
All times Central:
Sept. 19 – Week 2
Titans @ Bills – 6:15 PM (ESPN)
Vikings @ Eagles – 7:30 PM (ABC)
This is a dynamite slate. Why do start times overlap? Disney’s enterprising daughter and entitled son (resp.) are broadcasting each! This is pure
Fucking
Folly.
I don’t get it. This kind of intramural corporate jousting brought Enron down!
Let’s talk reasonably. Even competitor networks—Fox, NBC, Nickleodeon—respect the sanctity of a full NFL game. Allow me to summarize how it’s been, all times Central:
12:00 M – game 1
3:15+ PM – game 2
7ish PM – game 3
Saturdays, Thanksgiving, same thing: 3+ hour cushion. Playoffs, ha. How I wish my co-citizens would protest a XIXth Century return on abortion with the zeal of the overlapping NFL playoff games riots.
Everyone loses with overlaps. The 3+ hour cushion has got to be the standard. With that cushion, if the first game spills over—what a great early game! Scripted plays in the later game do not produce points (source: narcotics).
SPROTS TONITE
All times Central.
GRANDES LIGAS
A’s (Blackburn) @ Tigres (Pineda) – 6:10 PM
Guardianes (Plesac) @ Medias Blancas (Kopech) – 7:10 PM
Mantarrayas (Springs) @ Angelinos (Syndergaard) – 8:38 ON THE DOT
Ositos (Hendricks) @ Padres (Gore) – 8:40 PM
Marlins (Hernández) @ Serpientes (Castellanos) – 8:40 PM
Filis *puff, coughs* (Suárez) @ Marineros (Flexen) – 8:40 PM
Balboas (Gomber) @ Gigantes (Rodón) – 8:45
NBA CONFERENCE SEMIS
Celtics @ Bucks – 6:30 PM (Bucks lead 2-1)
Grizzlies @ Warriors – 9:00 PM (Warios lead 2-1)
STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS
Panthers @ Capitals – 6:00 PM (Caps lead 2-1)
Rangers @ Penguins – 6:00 PM (Pens lead 2-1)
Avalanche @ Predators – 8:30 PM (Avs look to sweep)
Flames @ Stars – 8:30 PM (Stars lead 2-1)
TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL
Completists can feast on the full calendar here.
Brasil
Avaí hosts Coritiba – 6:00 PM
Chile
Unión La Calera hosts Audax Italiano – 7:30 PM
Ecuador
Macará hosts Independiente del Valle – 7:00 PM
FINALLY,
I haven’t eaten anything today, but these Coors banquet beers sure are filling! I’m defrosting some shrimp, will fry some plantains—which is a great breakfast to have anywhere. Have a look at Horatios’s dream job draft.* Godammit; youse too fun. The comments is where it’s at. I offer slight tardiness. You’re welcome–no no, you deserve it. /Air hug
* Personally, I fear lapsing into embarrassment expressing how immensely satisfying it is to work for myself. My full endorsement to everyone whose boss has said: “You don’t work well with others”.
Banner via here.
I’m fucking exhausted.
But I do have to say that I crushed it in today’s mock draft
Last funny;
When I was 5 the chef at Benihana kept tossing shrimp in my mouth and I threw up on the table it cooked my throw up
LOL
the right will defend rittenhouse and 1/6 and pass laws that you can use your car to run over protesters and democrats will condemn their own voters for chanting loudly outside someones house
Agreed. The overlap thing should earn both networks a full throttled IRS audit…. at a minimum.
Al Horford was ROCKING tonight!
Indeed!
Los hombres no sirven, parte MDLXVII:
¡That’s a lot of Besa!
That said, I completely disagree with @Mund0meme. Totally worth all of it.
Azota, azota, y sigue azotando hasta que estés cansado y luego azotea más.
Btw, that’s a great and very accurate chart.
No neck or the back of the ears tho. Must be an old Quaker chart.
And we didn’t even get to the front parts…
Nice azotar!
Warriors vs Grizz 🏀
Hopefully this is Rocking!
Gooooo Dubs!
No one in this game knows how to put a ball in the hole. If they wanted failure so bad, they could have asked me. I would fail for half of what they are paying the players.
I wanted to post this earlier, but, been busy.
Princess is having a boy. Confirmed yesterday.
Congrats O Kingmaker!
The prince that was promised!
Congratulations!!
In Royal circles, I believe that’s an evergreen “Get Out of Doghouse FREE” card. Make sure you let Princess know your imaginary friends said so.
That’s Rocking!
A MALE HEIR! THE LINE IS UNBROKEN! PRAISE CROM!
My word, these New York Aragorns sure are trying their darnedest to exit the playoffs as soon as possible. Does Artemi Panarin have somewhere better to be (other than Donetsk)?
I never know what you mean, but you use your tongue prettier than a three-dollar whore.
I pulled up the ESPN page to check, and I believe our noble empire builder refers to the Ice Stillers making a touchdown (with extra point) in two straight fixtures. Which, unless they changed the rules drastically since the last time I watched hockey, is pretty unheard of. At least in the playoffs.
The extra curricular ice fixtures this season have an abnormal goal differential.
Aside from the two extra time extravaganzas, the average winning margin is almost 3 goals.
If I could go back and give my younger self some advice, it would be to give up on all things.
Also these Volta trucks seem Rockingggg!
Hopefully they actually start showing up here in USA
“That is unacceptable businessin’, is all. My aim is to convey this precise message:”
The trick is finding a way to subtly threaten to fuck the delinquent’s grandpa. 70% of the time, it works ALL THE TIME.
Mine are dead. Go nuts.
Covid? Psht. $500 in ATM will do until tommarrah
Found a funny;
conservatives: we’re taking away your basic rights
americans: wtf. we’re gonna protest
the democrats: don’t worry, we’ll handle this [shouting to conservatives] hey sorry these guys were mean to you
The Democrats: “Republicans have introduced a ‘Zero Sum Bill’-we feel it’s the first step towards a bi-partisanship approach to governing. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen?”
I mean, the joke’s funny and accurate, but I’m at the point where I’m going to sit on my hands the next election cycle or two and let the Democrats just get crushed out of existence, secure in the knowledge that as a straight white male of some means nothing really bad is going to happen to me.
Then when these useless old fucks finish sundowning perhaps we can get a real opposition party, maybe even one with balls, and then get something done besides pissing, moaning, and yelling at the poors.
Jesus fucking Christ. I mean, I voted for Biden knowing he was at best a lukewarm pile of crap but even by those standards he’s been a disappointment.
I wish Republicans thought like you. They spend decades gnashing their teeth that they weren’t getting Roe overturned, despite electing multiple GOP presidents and getting the vast majority of Supreme Court appointments.
But those fuckers just kept showing up and voting, and eventually they got what they wanted. I’ll say this for them, they understand how power works.
Republicans probably kept voting because they saw results. What am I seeing with the Democrats in control of the Presidency, the Senate, and the House?
That would be a bunch of mealy-mouthed crap in the face of a looming theocracy backed by a distinct but loud minority of the voting populace, but the party that’s ostensibly on my side can’t get its shit together to do anything but nibble around the margins because they’re led by a very old and probably pretty corrupt group of people who would have been Republicans 20 years ago.
Rockingdogs joke up there is painfully accurate. The GOP screams, yells, cheats, lies, and does whatever they need to to get what they want. The Dems talk about taking the high road while fighting among themselves to the point that they accomplish nothing of substance, (and what they do accomplish they can’t even manage to launch an effective campaign to get credit for it), while Biden and Pelosi yell at people for protesting outside Alito’s and Kavanaugh’s homes, and Pelosi endorses Henry Cuellar, an anti-choice Democrat currently facing accusations of sex/pregnancy discrimination from a former aide, because Cuellar is a veteran of her club and the opponent is a progressive Democrat who just might threaten Nancy’s ability to keep that freezer stocked with high-end ice cream.
You’ll forgive me if I’m tired of it.
Rest assured I’ll get out and vote for Joe Courtney for the House, and Richard “I Have No Idea What Finsta Is” Blumenthal for Senate, but I will not be donating money nationwide like I did in the last two campaigns.
Ecuador’s Independiente needs to have a women’s team, because Valle Girls amirite???
ESPECIALLY two solid fixtures like that. I suppose I could stream the Espen one on me work laptop while I comment on this’un…and watch ABC…but fuck that’s a lot of work.
I’d like to get Don T this:
Celtics are lucky to only be down 7 after one quarter.
This game seems rocking