I should be grateful we only had two absolute hellfire hot days this week. It’s The South, things will only get worse.
But fuck me, I am already over it. My cervical spine is being a bigger asshole than usual. Thus, I just can’t get comfortable. Reading, Footy Manager, even TV watching. Just can’t find the right position (PHRASING).
Especially, I shouldn’t be bitching and moaning when The Little Nation-State That Could (UKR) is fighting for its very existence. It was heartening to read about their midweek triumph in Scoot-lund, bring them 90 minutes from a luxurioUs Qatar vacay, Excerpt:
In sporting circles, we sometimes speak of teams who are simply happy to be there and enjoy an occasion.
But for many Ukrainians in Glasgow on Wednesday, this was the overwhelming sensation.
One supporter, Yuri, had travelled from the United States for the match. “It’s the biggest game I have ever attended,” he said. “The winning or losing is not the big thing. It is all about offering escape, a boost to morale back home, but also ensuring more people understand what is happening to our people.”
What followed at Hampden, therefore, must go down as one of the great sporting performances.
Ukraine, managed by Oleksandr Petrakov, outplayed their hosts and merited even more than their 3-1 victory.
“We played for those fighting in trenches, who fight for their last drop of blood,” Petrakov said. “We played for Ukrainians who suffer every day. We did everything for the people back home. For the armed forces, this is our victory for them.”
His eyes moistening, he added: “I hope this never touches you, but you just have to think of the women and children dying every day, the women being raped and gang-raped.”
It was a moving and invigorating riposte but Ukraine’s performance was also notable for the poise and maturity they showed in clinically dispatching a Scotland team unbeaten at home in 12 matches — their best run for 44 years.
This, we should also remember, is a Ukraine side for whom six starting players had not played a competitive football match for club or country since war curtailed the domestic league at the end of February.
The people of Scotland sound like they were righteous as fuck about the whole thing. Good natured about the feelings involved, good sports in defeat. Let’s hope Wales can say the same come Sunday, especially the defeat part (11:30, ESPN). I mean, should the Ukes defeat Princess Leia and sheep-shagging pals…there will actually be a side to actively root for in the Axis of Evil Group! With apologies to Iran, who I was gearing up to support.
But that’s tomorrow. I got a fat heap of nothing for ya today. June, blech.
In my college golf coaching days, coaching the women’s team was a hell of a lot more pleasurable experience than coaching the men’s team. The ladies actually trusted that I knew what I was talking about and would actually take coaching, most of the dudes thought they knew it all already.
It wasn’t always the case, but by and large, the women were just easier to work with. They played better too, relative to their skill levels.
My takeaway is the women gave better Bjs than the men. Or at least, were able to better follow instructions on said jobs.
I’ve 2 heads of cabbage. Any suggestions? Difficulty-no coleslaw or rolls recipes.
Throw in trash and acquire a steak.
“Whoa, whoa, slow down Mr. Rich Man!”
— Jim T., parts unknown
I said acquire, not buy.
Done!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUKwPdJQFfg&ab_channel=CookingwithCoit
Halushki:
Cook a package of wide egg noodles, drain. Add a few tablespoons butter so they don’t get sticky. In a cast iron skillet, cook 6-8 pieces of bacon until crisp. Remove and crumble. (American bacon.) Slice one head of cabbage, cook in the skillet with a sliced onion in the bacon grease until slightly browned and soft. Add the buttered noodles, and a couple of tablespoons of caraway seed. Season with a little salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Top with crumbled bacon. Heart attack in a bowl, but sooooooo fucking good!
This sounded great until “cabbage”. I stopped reading at that point.
I’m of Irish descent, Gumby is Slovak. We are genetically hardwired to love cabbage!
Make no mistake, I’d try your cabbage. It might change my mind.
My halushki brings all the boys to the yard!
Holy shit, I’d move into your yard for that.
The roadrunners have a nice nest! This one likes to grill
I was in your hood today! Cathedral City!
Trust me. The caraway seeds do something magical to cabbage.
Long live Mark.
https://doorfliesopen.com/2017/07/11/tina-dfoeff-6/
I dropped a +1 on one of his comments in that thread-got a good feeling about picking up and banging a rando cashier in the next week or two…
Why does PGA players think they can be assholes? If I could play golf and get paid $10,000 or so just for placing in the middle of the field, I’d be the nicest guy they’ve ever met so they’d keep inviting me back.
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln
in BED!
“If you want to test a man’s character, give him powder.”
-Pablo Escobar
My theory (which is mine-who doesn’t like an ancient Monty Python reference?) extends across all sports but there are exceptions for a few. If you’ve been coronated as ‘great’ from an early age right through adulthood it changes your brain dynamics in certain, negative ways. You begin to feel entitled. You treat people like shit. You grope women. You surround yourself with sycophants. You demand to be paid as much as a male that is doing the same job.
/this is a callback to a nurse thinking I was 14 years younger than I actually am
//this exchange happened less than 10 minutes ago
///this is a running joke because my wife is continually incredulous about the fact that I have grey hair
Me: “Honey, forgot to tell you-the guy that took my blood pressure before my colonoscopy said, ‘huh, it’s like you’re 25 years old!’.”
Wife: “All these things that doctors and nurses say to you go right to your head!”
Me: “Uh, yeah. Where else would they go?”
Her: [……]
Michigan football hands out dog tags commemorating Ohio State victory (247sports.com)
What kind of pathetic team celebrates getting lucky for one season? Who dey think they are?!
The 1988 Miami Hurricanes?
That is an acceptable answer. I’ll also accept the 2001 Miami Hurricanes, but only because some of them refuse to call the 2002 Ohio State Championship as legit due to the missed penalty in OT, while ignoring both the injury to McGahee and that they completely overlooked the Buckeyes and was treating the game as a coronation instead of a championship game.
I took a quick peek at that Hurricanes roster and it blows my mind. All of the RB’s on that team made the NFL-Jarret Payton, N. Davenport, W. McGahee, Clinton Portis and Frank Gore. Between them they had 19(!) 1,000 yard rushing seasons.
I know. That’s what I said when I saw who we were playing. That was the first championship I can remember and even I can’t believe we pulled it off.
It was their QB. You have all those playmakers, but with Ken Dorsey at QB, he can’t elevate the team if a player goes down (McGahee) or if they face a team that’s able to hang around with them. The ’02 Buckeyes didn’t have the playmakers The U had but they played well together and played hard.
Dumb Anecdote: Dorsey was the QB coach of Josh Allen and gets no credit whatsoever for turning his career around. He was just elevated to the Bills OC.
oh my Jaaaayyyyysus, that was a beautiful nap.
I’m about to have my nap, too.
I had a dream I was on a cruise ship, and sneaking away to pound gin.
BAD WCS, VERY VERY BAD!
Just a dream, though. I’ve done far weirder in them.
I had weird dreams all night. The last one, I was trying to lock a door, but I kept using things that weren’t keys. I’m sure that means something. After my Aunt Patsy died, Uncle Don had this girlfriend , Betty, who ran the book at a slightly sinister social club in Pittsburgh, called the Owls. The “dream book” assigned numbers to things that are commonly dreamt about, and you used those numbers to gamble with.
Did the “dram bok” look like this?
Time for a Spaghetti Day!
Ha, I’m pretty sure it was a spiral bound notebook!
Hey JJDh (& all who enjoy his “Rock Queens” segments, as I most certainly do):
Splendor in the Grass with Sheryl Farber – “Join Sheryl Farber for Splendor in the Grass – two-hour love roller coaster of girl-pop power from the ’60s and beyond, with side spins into bossa, boy guitar, psychedelia, garage, swooning soul, and anything else she is obsessed with at the moment.”
Every Saturday from 10-12 PST, I think… Fun stuff.
“Just over 24 hours ago, two of Deshaun Watson’s lawyers, Rusty Hardin and Leah Graham, appeared on Sports Radio 610 for an extended interview.
During the interview, Hardin made some very questionable comments. He suggested that receiving a “happy ending” during a massage was not illegal – unless paid for.
“I don’t know how many men are out there now that have had a massage that perhaps occasionally there was a happy ending,” Hardin said. “Maybe there’s nobody in your listening audience that that ever happened to. I do want to point out, if it has happened, it’s not a crime.”‘
From a wag on another site: “Happy endings and Browns seasons are an oxymoron”
The lesson here? Never watch multiple Pornhub vids directly before an interview/press conference.
So Jameis Winston got a 3 game suspension for his Uber rapey episode. It should then logically follow then that TheShaun Watson would get a (grabs napkin and pen) 69 (nice!) game suspension. With 17 games per season, that means he’ll be out of the league for (flips napkin over and finds pen again) 4 seasons plus 1 game.
Of course Roger is anything but logical or consistent so I predict 17 games.
If I’m a referee, I’m telling the defense they can have one ticky-tack Roughing the Passer on The Pauls’ Role Model QB. Just don’t hurt him or do a Pro Wrestling Finishing Move.
I’d also like to point out that this lawyer was no doubt called “Rusty Hard-On” a million billion times by his classmates while he was growing up.
My neighbor growing up was named Rusty Stear.
Is there one woman in this LPGA event that doesn’t have gorgeous legs? I submit to you that there is not.
Sir, there is not. In person these events are much better.
Also enjoying them interrupting the coverage constantly to tell us about their uninterrupted coverage brought to you by Rolex.
In The Canada we get commercials from wealth management and golf course design companies. (they never advertise anywhere else) The implicit message is, “You make less than 200K? Why don’t you fuck right off? Thanks.”
Agreed
Makes sense. Having strong and toned legs is a big part of being a professional golfer.
Don’t forget their prodigious backsides. Breathtaking.
“This is your official invitation to the FIFA Women’s 2023 World Cup. Don’t forget to pick a player, and go totally pervy all over her.”
-Me and Hippo
/edited to add-Beckie from The Canada is totally mine, all mine-hands off
Play-by-Play Commentator (announcing whisper): “We cut to Mina Harigae on her third shot of the Par 5 Hole 15. In the lead by three strokes. Harigae is using a 9-Iron for her approach, and she makes it on the green avoiding the sand bunker. Scotchnaut, anything to add?”
Scotchnaut (yelling): “HOLY SHIT! LOOK AT THAT ASS!”
Play-by-Play Commentator (announcing whisper): “Thank you, as always, for that fine commentary, Scotch. Harigae with a chance at a birdie and to extend her lead…”
In his defense that donkey was not supposed to be there.
I know. At first everyone was laughing because “there’s no rule saying a donkey can’t play in the tour”. But then she made the cut and all of a sudden that jennet is one good round away from challenging for the lead.
Wow, jennet. That’s an old -timey word!
“Little Red Jennet” is probably Prince’s best song about bestiality.
I’ll be there. And it’s Beckie’s choice.
“Whew! That was a close one!”
-Sophie
Pujols has entered the game for Saint Louis and is playing first.
Say what you will about the guy but he’s really staying dedicated to his all meatball diet.
I am more entertained when he pitches.
“A funeral was held for a retired Russian Air Force major-general whose plane was shot down while flying a combat mission in his country’s invasion of Ukraine.
The Russian state news agency Tass said Kanamat Botashev, a 63-year-old major-general who volunteered to return to service, had been shot down last month while flying over the eastern Donbas region.
It said that when leaving the attack, the plane was shot down by an anti-aircraft missile and Botashev was killed. He was awarded the posthumous title of “Hero of Russian Federation”.’
Fuck him. Fuck them. Fuck.
Yeah, he was “volunteered”.
Heh. Yup, kinda like how Navalny had “food poisoning” and his plane was diverted to Russia due to “technical problems”.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Bald Hitler needs an ice-pick to the brainstem…
This may be my German heritage, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but comparing Putin to Hitler is an insult to Hitler.
Hitler was a shitty military planner, but at least Hitler was able to overtake a country or two.
I an item that may or may not interest some of you, Shakira is single.
1533058967651377152
Tweet don’t lie.
So you’re saying there’s a chance – YouTube
A post about nothing? So this is like an episode of Seinfeld.
Not sure I’ve ever seen a full episode of Seinfeld.
They’re like an old woman’s breasts. They were real and spectacular but don’t hold up anymore.
So I guess Pizza Hut is the latest target in the War on Wokeness. I guess the redhats will have to find some other horrific grease bomb pizza to shove down their gullets, now.
Come to my new restaurant Suck it Libs, and try our new MAGA cyanide flavored pizza!
A slight bitter almond aftertaste but nobody ever complained the next day.
What the hell did Pizza Hut ever do, other than cause heartburn?
The pan super Supreme is one of my go to’s when I am stateside pizza slumin.
What? Excessive violations of the 30 minutes rule?
I wouldn’t last 30 minutes with either of those.
Well, between Papa John being a racist shitbag and the owner of Domino’s being a anti-choice zealot the tRumphumpers still got choices when it comes to shitty pizza.
Spending today at a wedding. That my wife is officiating at.
She’s never done this before, (“I’ll take ‘Things She’s Never Told Me’ for $400, Alex), and things around here are a wee bit tense. Wish us luck!
Go the Spaceball route: “Do ya? Do ya? Good! Now Kiss it”.
Mawage.
Nobody goes to a wedding for the ceremonia As speeches go, it will be the first of several. All that is wanted is freely given I Dos and a Kiss.
Your wife has this.
/Turns off Spanish Tract spell hecker
I have been telling her this for weeks.
Hey, I crushed it at the one I officiated, so tell her to step it up.
I have mentioned that the two of you are leading members of the same church.
this is poetry
I could use a spell hecker.
“All that is wanted is freely given I Dos and a Kiss.”
Indeed. (Well, that and open bar, but that’s during the reception)
Man, Swaitek lit things up this morning. I felt bad for Coco Gauff. It was like watching a pedestrian get hit by a car.
Coco Gauff isnt a real name
(That’s an actual ad that ran during Saturday morning cartoons when I was a wee Cornflower. Seeing this kind of stuff then made me the man I am now, and that’s probably grounds for a class-action lawsuit)
and they wonder why we do drugs….
Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar!
Who among us has not been cuckoo for cocoa puffs? Let him cast the first, er, puff!
“I will not stand idly by and let you disparage cocoa.” – Coach Reid
Sorry to hear about your cervix, hippo
hey, Christ told me I should save myself for marriage smgdh
“Wish I had a nickel for every time I had to apologize for the state of a cervix.” – Rex Grossman
Nick Foles has entered the chat
MOAR Uke footy talk:
https://theathletic.com/3346174/2022/06/04/ukraine-world-cup-war/
I’ll try Hot Ukrainian ladies for 1000 Alex.
To borrow a phrase from Letterkenny and Shoresy,
Hot Ukrainian ladies is redundant.
They’re smokin’ hot in their 20s but look like this when they hit 40:
This woman used to be a bikini model.
Inshallah, time is a real bastard
Age 20:
Age 40:
Was probably the norm a generation ago. But I have seen a few of them around here in their ’40’s early’ 50’s who are still smoking hawt MILF babes.
It’s nice to hear that folk be working to maintain that #ShoulderGame, yo
A thread about nothing. Well let’s get this baby started then.