Good morning to you! I am here for our fearless food ninja Yeah Right as I believe he is at a cheese conference, or key party, or whatever they do in Southern California.
Right now in my redneck city it is Cowboy cosplay week, also known as the Calgary Stampede. Basically it is a cowboy Mardi Gras where everyone gets absolutely wasted for 10 days straight. There is a yuuge rodeo and midway etc. Kevin Costner was the parade marshall and his band played on Friday night too. Bars and restaurants erect temporary tents all over the downtown area’s parking lots and turn them in to outdoor bars, with bands! For instance in true Cowboy fashion I am going to see old school punk band Face to Face in the Wild Horse Saloon tent. In the past I have seen such country and western acts as Ice Cube, Nelly, Snoop, Ruby Rose djing etc. Most of this is funded by oil and gas money and waiters have money fights after the week. I have picked up quite a few shifts in the restaurant due to the money being ridiculous and it keeps me off the streets.
Day drinking is at the heart of the Calgary Stampede. I used to run the restaurants at the Westin Hotel and for 7 days they had the Progressive pancake breakfast which basically is rich oil and gas types, lawyers getting absolutely blitzed on gin and juice from 7 am until 10 am. Then we loaded them on buses to continue partying elsewhere completely inebriated. We’d have to buy huge new garbage cans each year, load them with a few 60 ozers of Gin, add juice and stir with an oar. Then take jugs and put 4 of them on each table of 8 in the banquet rooms. Bands would play at 7 am and it felt like it was midnight because people we trashed quickly. It was quite a scene the first time I saw this show.
As I have gotten older I love day drinking more and more. Drunk by 6 pm and in bed by 8? Yes please. Boozing ruins me for 2 days after but at least if I day drink I can get a good night of sleep in and mitigate the hangover. Day 2 is the worst for me as that is sad and depressed day, every damn time.
As far as morning drinking it is white wine, or bubbles no question. Then when noon approaches you can transition in to rose wine or beer, then in to red wine later in the evening.
Definitely start with something light like a Pinot Blanc, or Gewurztraminer you don’t want to start with a heavy Chardonnay or anything too dry.
I will return later with the Sunday nighter. Go have a drink and be merry.
Because everything hurts, this seemed like an idea. But it probably tastes like crap, so I decided against it.
What flavors pair well with cannabis? I wonder if green tea would be a good option.
When do you use the standard beer pint glass vs the chalice style? I’m seeing up or glassware, need to replace our beer glasses, and am only buying one set.
Look, you’se a maker not a taker. Don’t have to justify that pimp chalice purchase, just DO IT homey.
I only ever used my chalice-style glass (see pictured) when I was drinking a larger beer.
Wooooof
8-0 Giants leading this afternoon
Giants pitcher Wood looking like he’s gonna throw a No-Hitter
Padres are not Rocking
You are rooting for the wrong team again.
At least you aren’t rooting for the dodgers.
Uhhh so you are going to get another of my blogs soon. Sorry.
Apropos of nothing, I was able to visit my dad’s headstone yesterday. He was a great man that was flawed in many ways. I miss him.
Pour some out. Not too much.
*am scottish
Everytime I get close to the Pacific Ocean which happens A Lot! I’m at the grave of my father.
Dad was a kamikaze pilot, eh?
“Let’s play a tune in honor of his memory.” – Bill Parcells
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L_lwC9xZBXQ
France is really good at women’s footy, or Italy is turrible. Maybe both?
Mmm. Garbage can booze in the morning.
Rosé bubbles on the deck in the sun.
Now cremant de bourgogne.
Chenin Blanc from South Africa.
Its hot out here for us northern folk. Not BC Dick he gets hot as fuck in K town.
We had another Chenin from Stellenbosch.
*gtd wanted to know my progression
Neither wife nor I do music. What do I look for in piano lessons for a 4 year old?
Neither wife or I do music
So….. Why are you enlisting your kid to do ‘the music’?
I don’t know the rule. I just feel like you’re dumb if you use or when you should say nor do I cheat that way.
If it’s a dude, make sure no boner when he meets the kid.
Otherwise, someone with a world of patience.
PERCH BRUDDER!
Done take fish any day, if jews what I meat!
This is a very mature TAEK on booze. I mean, that I only sorta agree means little compared to the honest portrayal that makes the reader look at himself and ask, “goddamm am I on level with these drunks just because I like the exact thing they enjoy, including their reasons for it?” To which the answer is invariably, “No. I’m different. I’m better.”
Then I sit down and judge my local council primary fliers based on how good looking the lady candidates are.
I vote for whoever has the biggest tits. I end up voting for a lot of fat guys.
Stopped at wine store. 8 tasters. Had to stop as picking up friends
What’s the etiquette with these things? I see them set up at total wine but what the hell does that really mean?
Well, I hqve been going to this place for years so I usually get everything that they have open. As long as you buy something after your tasting you are good.
That’s a good spot, if it’s the one I think it is. Rave reviews from… I’m going to say U.S. Dry Gallon if we’re sticking with that.
Yeah, you have been there. So much free wine
Iceland’s manager looks like Willie from Alf.
There’s a helicopter overhead my abode. That means one of two things-
c.) they’s trying to track down a missing hiker
&.) a drug runner has seriously lost their way
#.) the pilot was bored
!.) I’m going to get busted any minute now*
*”Officer! Those strawberries were purchased totally legally! If you’d just uncuff me I can show you the receipts!”
Hiker. This headline came out the day Roe was killed. I thought they’d already closed off the in-town peaks completely due to heat by then. It’s like: Summer means don’t let your kid drown and don’t get stuck on a mountain with THAT body.
So I’m not saying you chicks can’t take care of your own bodies or whatever but, conceptually, I’d appreciate a little more truth to the conversation than, “I can make responsible choices with my body! Watch me put on a visor and head to Mercury at 11 am!”
I’m sorry, that’s objectively hilarious.
Lady hikers (artist’s conception):
That heat is nothing to fuck with and it’s getting worse. My girlfriend from back in high school passed away last year from heatstroke on a leg of the PCT. And she was a pretty experienced outdoorswoman. Sometimes you just get caught out.
How do I upvote this for the sensible warning without making it seem like I am upvoting the dead ex-girlfriend part, which is genuinely tragic?
We get a decent number of helicopters flying overhead here. One time “helicopter flying overhead” meant that Kobe Bryant was about to die.
Something about the Calgary Stampede and Ric Nattress leading an orgy I’m too hungover for this
I appreciate you covering today Litre.
Stupid changes in work life balance.
All good bud. Just a day full of drunk stoner ramblings!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2utdIniVDw
When you partying back in Sun City?
I’ve given this thought for more than 10 seconds so hear me out-yeahright should start a cooking series that is based on sports figures last name. First up? Gotta be John McEnroe, which would be mac and cheese topped with salmon roe.
Mardy Fish, Tim Salmon, and Mike Trout all show up on Seafood Week.
Didn’t Allison Brie wrestle?
With my emotions? Yes.
She’s in some movie on Kanopy right now.
You can see her boobs in the first season!
And probably on Google in about 3 seconds.
Litre has informed me that Canadia is not televising the European Euros de Feminina. I could nae live there, after all.
Whoa, hold up-[jingles figurative keys] “Free* health care!”
*relatively
Lady-kakus! Nordic Goddess-dottirs!! WHO YA GOT???
I’m so desperate for sports I watched a frickin’ Wimbledon final where I didn’t want either guy to win.
If only the meteor had taken them both out, and Chris Fowler in the booth as well.
That fucking meteor is like Godot.
Totally agree-the French New Wave movement in cinema is totally over-rated.
Kyrgios and Djokovic have something in common at least, in that Kyrgios had no shot at winning this thing, and Djokovic has no shots.
Found a funny;
‘your password is weak’ yeah cos if i have to remember one more thing ever in my life i will disintegrate into the wind
I mean, anyone dumb enough to want MY IDENTITY can fookin’ have it.
“Enjoy my crippling debt, asshole!”
I fully expect this year’s Stampede to be known as the Monkeypox spreader. Hopefully I’m wrong because that thing looks itchy and painful as fuck, but Calgary can’t have nice things.
It was absolute madness on 17th Ave last night. Madness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOJSM46nWwo
Do Brits roll their eyes at the ‘strawberry and cream’ thing like we do when some guy catches a fish at Pike Place Market?
And their teeth fall out
I mean, no great loss.
This Wimbledon final needs a bit more streaking.
If only to see the Duchess of York cover her child’s eyes.
If I had to face those serves, there would definitely be some streaks in my white shorts
Nick Kyrgios is going to murder everyone in his (giggle) box.
His meltdown is absolutely spectacular. And I guess they’re playing tennis, too.
He reeks of a guy that can’t get out of his head when the pressure is dialed up.
To make up for Yeah Right’s absence this morning, I just went into the fridge, found some eggs, Spam, and what was left over from last night’s smoked salmon, and made what could charitably be described as a very salty smoked meat omelet.
My only original contribution was mixing the eggs, cheese and milk.
And letting SonOfSpam into your fridge.
That guy shows up uninvited everywhere.
Everywhere except Baltimore apparently
Spam’s West Coast, isn’t he?
That is where the Big Turk was sent, so yes.
I mean, not much difference between East Coast and West Coast garbage cans.
What’s your point?
I just don’t want to set a precedent where I have to fly out to some godforsaken hell hole like ~shudder~ San Diego.
He is. Orange County represented. Disney dweller.
Aw, it’s like I participated!
Disney dweller? So he might know where Walt’s frozen head is!?
The Old Gypsy Woman’s prophecy may come true after all!
I totally forgot I wrote this yesterday. Now I have a scant couple hours to come up with something for tonight! Today is my party day for the Stampede, drinks in the afternoon and then parking lot tents in the early evening and then Face to Face!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SjfKXPMHLM
I saw Face to Face play at some point in the early 2000’s. Maybe up at Mammoth?
They are very good live.
Live blog your day drinking
Coffee and a mezcal liqueur to start. Have to go pick up my friends for a backyard bbq in a couple hours.
https://youtu.be/gO17hN-YvBc
You can never go wrong with a cheese party. Ran into this the other day, figured you might appreciate it.
Speaking of day drinking, Gumby and I got completely shitfaced at an outdoor cafe in Pisa in 2008. We had a lovely view of all of the buildings pictured.
I get over there from time to time and always enjoy just chillin at the cafes. There is a different attitude there than the Veneto, more laid back. I suspect the beach. And the seafood.
You are so lucky! Your quality of life beats ours, for sure. I would happily live in Italy.
I am very fortunate. Its not all the land of milk and honey, but the people are wonderful, and location offers so many travel options.
Would a cheese key party be one where the keys were made of cheese or where you swap whose partner you eat cheese with?
This is totes my worstest nightmare. Unless you find a way to work in mayo, and it drops even deeper.
I’m on it.
I got cheese conference and key party mixed up. My bad. But… if there were a way to get cheese use incorparated into a key party… just think of the possabilities…
Oh I was trying it to Litre’s opener, not jibing on you. But there are always ways to get cheese incorporated into parties or all types…
FOUND IT!