Do you like it when people fling things? Whether it be insults, frisbees, boogers or footballs, I’m in. And speaking of, we’ve got the latter happening ce soir. But first, one item caught my attention today.
Newsy Notes:
-It seems that the NFL and the Bundesliga will be collaborators, err, partners in some sort of joint venture. Will it take long for Goodell to try to poach all the best minds in the league under the guise of Operation Buroklammer? Time will tell. Rog said, “The Bundesliga has long been regarded as the leading league in Germany…” Officials overseeing the Deutsche Einhockey Liga were less than amused at the shade that was thrown.
To The Game!
Bolts/Chiefs:
-K.C. kicker Butker and wr Keenan Allen are no-shows tonight and (very importantly) Chargers cb J.C. Jackson is a game-timer.
-Are we falling for DeAndre Carter’s showing last week? The dude is a 29 yr. old journeyman on his 9th(!) team (and he sat out a year) and simply caught a Raiders D by surprise. I guess we should admire his sticktoitiveness.
-Might Be Related To The Above: Do I have the balls to insert Josh Palmer into my fantasy lineup? I DO NOT.
-I guess you guys/gals swimming in Canada’s nutsack have Amazon Prime as the provider for this tilt. Me? I just turn the channel to TSN like I’ve been doing for a dozen years or so.
-The Stat Monkey Rises: The Chiefs are 13-3 in the last 16 although the Bolts have won 2 of the last three. The O/U is 54 and K.C. is favoured by 4.
-The Chiefs have yakked about a ‘balanced offense’ without Tyreek in the fold but in reality JuJu and Kelce gobbled up the majority of the catches. Meanwhile, Herbert was throwing to 11 different fellas last week including un-household names such as Tre McKitty and Zander Horvath.
Potential Bolts Stratergery: Putting Derwin James on Kelce-when he was on him the latter had 5 catches for 68 yards and zero TD’s. When Derwin rotated away or was hurt the tight end went for 12 catches, 227 yards and 2 TD’s.
-Say a prayer for Chiefs right tackle Andrew Wylie-he’ll be getting a fat dose of Joey Bosa or Khalil Mack or both on a rotating basis. He’s over-matched.
She should be a great tilt. Enjoy.
Chiefs are celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month by treating Herbert like a piñata.
Gunna rain tamarind candies!
Banner!!
That’s also why I’m going to need proof that everyone is pronouncing it “Eh-bear” for the duration
There, but for the grace of God, go I.
-Herbert’s spleen
Like Herbert wasn’t going to tough it out.
good drugs?
Not good enough.
The best drugs.
Looks like Hippo took that fifth pill and probably cracked the sixth.
Holy hell. I hope Herbert still has 2 working kidneys.
Send out Andy Reid to assess this hes the ribs expert
GIVE ME CHASE DANIEL GOD DAMMIT!!!
Herbert ded
Ded Herb.
Well, this one is over.
Which one? Don’t say “the quarterback.”
He’s back! Quarterbacking!
“It Hurts when I play”
— Bolt Herb
“Winding your way down Herbstreit,
He’s light in his head and dead on his feet.
Well yet another stupid broadcast.
He’ll drink the night away,
Forget about everything he pretended to say.
His broadcast makes you feel so cold,
So many people listening but they’ve got no soul.
And it’s taken you so long
To figure out he was so wrong
When you thought he knew everything.
One more year and you think he’d improve,
Another year and he’ll feel that groove.
But he’s groaning,
He’s groaning and linguistically prone.”
-lyrics to Herbstreit Street, adapted from Baker Street
That’s great hustle!
https://twitter.com/TheFFBallers/status/1570602171888177154
I see the racist AF chop is still alive and well in KC
WOOHOO!!!!!
Fucking Fanny fucking footballers! Suck that, Herbert!
I guess that qualifies as SUDDEN CHANGE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
Whoopsie Doodles!
SUDDEN PICKERCEPTION CHANGE!
Amazon Prime regular feed’s Al Michaels: “This game’s total score is inching towards a magic number that keeps certain members of the audience verrrry interested. *wink wink
Amazon Prime women’s feed’s Andrea Kremer: “…and see here where the left guard’s kick out block provides the inside leverage to spring Ekeler for that eight yard run.”
Amazon Prime’s British Feed: “🎶It’s punting tiiiiiime!🎶”
Day job and side hustle is finally done for the day. How’re we doing and how’s the game?
Thursday will always be thursday in the NFL.
Eh, it’s football. I’ll take it.
Fine and hopefully heading towards a Clubhouse favorite 20-20 tie.
Chargers looked dynamite, then came the 2nd half.
BOLTMAN WILL NOT ALLOW THE ACCURSED SPANOI ACOLYTES TO HAVE A TURNOVER. **shredding guitar solo**
I’m here from the future. WRONG!
Didn’t that used to be a penalty?
For fantasy purposes, it’d be fine if Mahomes just ran it in himself.
For fantasy purposes, it’d be fine if 1990’s Shannon Whirry wandered into my bedroom in a lace teddy.
/have I said too much?
//I’ve said too much
I CALL HERBERT A LESSER DC COMICS SUPERHERO BECAUSE HIS ONE FATAL WEAKNESS MIGHT BE KERMITE.
Shut. Up. Herbstreit.
Better than Collinsworth by a million.
I had a great Fantasy team name using him back when Occupy Wall Street was a thing: Occupy Herbstreit
Is the bookie Herbert owes money in control of the Spanoi offensive line?
https://twitter.com/itsbcbaby/status/1570594221027098624
She redefines “jailbait”.
If I take Fifth Pill, Charissa Thompson will think I have a nice smile and not creepy in the least.
Get yer hand out of your pockets sir.
That was not a spongeworthy punt
Seems that Mr. Ekeler is washed.
Mahomet has used up his mulligans now
“Well, Williams got one and a half buttcheeks in-that’s the equivalent of purple monkey dishwasher!”
-Mike Perriera
I think the SUDDEN prime arrow blinded Mahomes
The 7th episode of ‘Welcome to Wrexham’ might be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
I meant to watch that before we can has game
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Halftime boredom, tomorrow is Friday
I’m half tempted to delete this now after that bullshit
Do you want to go to The Hague? Because that would be a crime against humanity.
shares a lot in common with this game
glorious junk in that trunk, the game is gloriously junk
All good I guess
One thing I like about Staley and 4th down is that there’s no huffing and fucking puffing at the line, trying to trick the D to going offside. They’re going for it.
Williams typed in the god mode and IDKFA codes at halftime.
That catch was insanecakes.
Guy has no middle setting, he’s trash or he kills it.
When you said “trash” and “kills it” I thought you were talking about how my dog and cat obtain their meals, respectively.
Jim Tomsula, Ryan Leaf and Tod Marinovich all chuckle around the burn barrel in the CSX yard.
YUUUUGE
Somebody just won Coachspeak Bingo with that interview with Staley.
All these ring camera bullshit items. Either you live in South Afrika and need a private army, or you should just have insurance like a normal person.
This has been your Hippo Is An Old, Grumpy Man Update.
I don’t like having to leave my chair to unmute this puppy abortion neither.
Can’t you just tell Alexa to do that for you?
He already hears and talks to enough invisible voices.
I HATE HAVING TO USE MY STUPID VOICE
Alexa is a dirty skank, and she is not welcome in my house.
Me neither. I fear that much control by machines. I am naive but no voicey stuff here. I am already grumpy that my phone listens to me.
Make Other Hippo do it.
Shit, he even lazier than me
Next Gen Stats? But can you tell me “What is a catch?” Amazon?
If I take Fourth Pill things will magically improve
of course the first amazon prime football game was originally an exciting chargers-chiefs but instead we got a cheap knockoff that is nothing like what was originally pictured
4th quarter will be please like and recommend product to continue watching
So 30 yds and a td for Ekeler?
What a punt 🥰
I like how my win probability goes down based solely on who has possession at the two minute warning
So. Much. Punting.
From two of the leagues most explosive offenses from the leagues highest scoring division!
Thursday gon’ Thursday
Nobody is safe from Thursday night.
https://twitter.com/barstoolsports/status/1570544438119923712?s=20&t=GbHkSa2otrwTF6osvXVqCg
Being Oklahoma, everyone involved is getting the death penalty.
Zander Horvath is a guy i get gauge ear piercings from, not a guy I throw touchdowns to.
Weird. Zander Horvath recently put on a show at an obscure east Brooklyn gallery and sold exactly one painting for $73. He and his emo travel agent girlfriend celebrated at Taco Bell later that night.
But ironically
Honestly, forgot this was happening.
You’re not alone, seems like KC forgot about it too.
I want more clips of Goodell looking uncomfy with Bezos. The jealous texting from Snyder to the Commish would be FOIA gold.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8iaViNIy3U