Greetings lizard people. A smarter me would be reporting to you live from the madhouse that is probably Yankee Stadium. See, I got an email yesterday for the weekly Mastercard Monday flash sale for a promo of tonight’s game. And, thinking to myself, “Oh, I wish, but I have a student,” I forgot about it, got home at around 11, and missed my chance for the flash sale that ended at 11:59, forgetting entirely that 1) I could probably resell the ticket for several times whatever I’d pay for it, or 2) I could have just moved the student to Thursday! But nope, didn’t think of that until Tuesday morning, when the time had passed. So, my loss, and I’ll be kicking myself various amounts depending on what happens tonight as Aaron Judge tries to tie the AL record 61 in his assault on the record books and common decency, non-steroids (dear god please be clean) edition. (Going into Wednesday Judge leads all three Triple Crown categories, and the triple slashes, and… god knows what else.) And he hasn’t given up a run this year!
(That joke was too good to pass up.)
Tactical error two, or I guess more execution error: Three people will understand this plight. But with the advent of remote raids in Pokemon Go (thanks to the pandemic), there’s been waiting sites to queue up for raids. This week or so, there’s been a Northern/Southern Hemisphere split between the two current legendary Pokemon. So… I managed (for the second time) to get myself kicked out of the waiting queue because it auto does that after 12 hours, and I guess in the watching of last nights Yankee game I forgot to do that shit. So it took me from approximately 6000th in line (yes, there’s this much of a line) back down to 20,000th.
Pain. Onto the news:
-Players of Week 2: Offense: Tua and Sun God; Defense: Jaylen Watson (KC) and Darius Slay; Special Teams: Brayden “Mann Co.” Mann and Graham Gano, don’t ya know
-3-time Pro Bowl CD Joe Haden signed a one-day contract to retire as a Brown.
-Bruce Arians, now in the front office, was warned for being on the white stripe during the Bucs-Saints fight.
-Bills OL Bobby Hart suspended 1 game for taking a swing at a Tits player, and hitting a coach instead.
-Ted Lasso and AFC Richmond will be a playable team in FIFA ’23. No word on Bernard Gilkey and 2105 Pretend Man City.
What’s for sportsin’?
MLB
Important Games
Record/Triple Crown Watch/Clinch Watch
Yinzers vs. Mobsters (PIT vs. NYY, 7:05) (Judge currently leads AVG by .001; needs 1 home run to tie Maris for single-season AL home run record/”clean” record) (NYY can clinch playoff berth with win AND losses by BAL and CWS) (Senor Weaselo can be made fun of accordingly for not going, see above.) (Or not, see below.)
Triple Crown Watch
Fightin’ Hippos vs. Fightin’ Ringworms (STL vs. SD, 9:40) (Goldschmidt trails in average by .008; trails in home runs by 5; trails in RBI by 9… things are looking a little bleaker.)
Red Battle! Sox vs. Legs (BOS vs. CIN, in progress)
Small Bears vs. Large Fish (CHC vs. MIA, in progress)
“Dear you guys,” (HOU vs. TB, in progress)
Sylvester vs. Tweety (DET vs. BAL, 7:05)
Tungsten Arms vs. Celtic (LAA vs. TEX, 8:05)
T-s vs. Paupers (MIN vs. KC, 8:10)
Groots vs. Tony La Russa’s Drunken Leave of Absence (CLE vs. CWS, 8:10)
Rice-a-Roni vs. Rocky Mountain Oysters (SF vs. COL, 8:40)
Moose vs. Elephant (SEA vs. OAK, 9:40)
Deserts vs. Ravines (ARI vs. LAD, 10:10)
Rex Ryan competing on The Amazing Race (CBS, 10/9c)
Yeah, not much.
UPDATE: Hermana Weaselo and I got tickets on StubHub, let’s fucking go! There may be a BotG depending on how this game goes and if anything happens.
Oh, and one more thing:
[…] last week you may have mentioned I un-errored my tactics and ended up going to the dirtball game last Wednesday night with Hermana Weaselo. Tickets ended up […]
I’m pretty hammered now.
Yes, but are you also Armed?
Un. Fucking. Real. (miss you, tWBS)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ECqlbimpaUI
Can’t find the clip from Fanning the Fire (surf video) but still a very fine tune.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=58mXxWuUqYw
Queen Elizabeth’s final request.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5L3nMmlsHF0
Fuck you, stupid neighbors who are trying to get some sleep.
FIRST WAVE MOTHERFUCKING DOWN
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J7tLpmfj53g
(I actually adore my neighbors, and all the doors and window are shut so I won’t bother them)
I do love how my animals can sleep through this mess.
Just received my authentic Big Lebowski Dude sweater today. Yes yes the movie one was beige but I think the navy one looks nicer on me and it was $100 cheaper, only because no one buys it, according to the website. I bought it in order to pay tribute without being a complete tool.
It’s a “Westerly” sweater and I bought it direct from Pendleton Mills, who make a big point of saying they have been family-owned since 1863 and are headquartered in Oregon. “Headquartered” is the key word, as the sweater was made in China, probably by orphan children slave labor.
As The Dude says: All Hail Chairman Mao! Dissent is counter-revolutionary!
Gettin’ drunk, gettin’ shoegazey.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q1l4Sz4Hhg
God damn do I want to see these guys live again and not go home until there is a trickle of blood coming out of my ears. (seriously listen to this one loud)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i3QmrFsMw1w
Watching “Do Revenge” and the protagonists are talking about doing a “strangers on a train” thing and the Dr. Mrs. was oblivious to the fact that it was a Hitchcock thing.
Found out a friend got married. I didn’t know she was that serious about dating anyone. There is only one person I know who was absolutely perfect for her, and her for him. Was it him? Inquiring minds want to know!
Well I’m still not married, so there’s your answer.
I guess I can take on a sister wife. Send me your resume and I’ll review within the 5 to 10 business days.
You know how I know I need to log off the Internet?
This:
https://twitter.com/tatsthatgohard/status/1572723973476974596?t=X-Mra76gzpHCwTjsynqcWA&s=19
Do you think those are Daphne’s or.. Scoobs’?
But imagine of you ran into that person in real life without any warning that it was a possibility
rice rits raggy!
Yeah, the nightmare fuel was sealed when one of the replies was “I would tap dat Shagussy without hesitation”
Just need Velma’s glasses to complete the fantasy.
Rex Ryan is a contestant on The Amazing Race. Go fig.
I hope something like this happens.
Entirely possible – him and his partner are lost in Munich.
Sounds like they got off on the wrong foot.
Just head toward the end zone.
7/12, so we will get more Rex next week.
“They told me I’d hafta be on my toes, and brother, I signed on the dotted fuckin line.”
A shame they didn’t get Rob to be his partner.
Ugh
That’s what SHE said!
Most nervous ground rule double in the 5th ever. Did he get it high enough? No, wait, fair, foul? Oh, ground rule double!
Sorry the runner up for MVP to Ohtani didn’t homer for you.
(Kidding…Judge will win and I will grudgingly accept it)
The whole concept of incompetent rock is really amusing. After all, it’s just as good at being rock as any other sort, maybe moreso since it’s been a rock out in the world for so much longer than other rock. We’re just being super judgy and and applying our own standards for what we want rock to do in specific human engineering contexts.
Five Finger Death Punch and Crazytown are definitive proof of incompetent rock.
Gumby likes Five Finger Death Punch. I don’t get it, but whatever?
“I’ll take a glass of five finger death punch. Sounds delicious!” – Justin Blackmon
Nobody rocks harder than Collective Soul…. – Ghost of tWBS
goodnight Springton there will be no encore
You better change that to Green Day before your pill bottle “accidently” falls in the garbage disposal that miraculously turns on at the exact same moment.
Five Finger Death Punch is like Disturbed minus about 25 IQ points. And Disturbed is already kind of dumb. Gotta say, though, Disturbed’s Stricken is one of the best plastic guitar songs ever, on either Rock Band or Guitar Hero. And FFDP’s The Bleeding is such over the top nu-metal horseshit that I actually like it.
George Thoroughgood nods appreciatively.
Hack judge gets overruled by the 11th Circuit.
Between this and Morning Tish, pretty good schadenfreude day for non-MAGAts.
And that 3 judge panel was clearly not impressed by hack judge.
The best part was when they were like “we could leave it at this…but we won’t” and kept dumping on her.
It’s certainly possible that there are personal documents among the classified stuff, as it is super easy to classify something. If you put a classified cover sheet on anything, it’s classified. If you put a flash drive in a classified computer, that drive and everything on it, even your shitty smashmouth mp3s, now classified. Trump had all those empty folders- if he put stuff in those that stuff is now classified. HOWEVER, you get a briefing explaining all this, and not paying attention is not a legal excuse, so it’s his own damn fault if he decided to give the government power over any A/C Priv documents
So classification is like cooties?
Pretty much
It can get kind of ridiculous, if you include one piece of information from a secret document into a new document, that whole document becomes secret. If you then cite a totally different piece of information from the new document, say the fact that Cleveland is in Ohio, in a third document, that entire third document becomes classified. I occasionally wonder how much pointless dreck we have in our classified archives
“Pfft. No it’s not.” – Elisha
Trump had a no-good horrible rotten day. Damn shame
I won’t celebrate until Trump is wearing orange and behind bars.
You have a better chance of celebrating a Bengals championship.
Dumb and Dumber ‘There’s a Chance’ – YouTube
He’s always wearing orange, so you’re halfway there!
Can I play as Roy Kent?
I’m gonna make some guava margaritas tonight, and have salmon tacos.
That’s certainly better than guava tacos and salmon margaritas.
Litrepug would love a Salmon Margarita.
I mean, Litrepug would love another dog’s asshole, I presume, so not sure I trust his taste.
Happy Earth, Wind and Fire Day everyone
Thanks, Senor – it’s been many years since I watched, but am DVRing the shit out Rex Ryan’s Amazing WHAT THE FUCK’S HAPPENING BOYS Race!
I was singing this song to Gumby a couple of hours ago!
Joe Burrow just pulled an Aaron Rodgers. Not that! Or that!! Or that!!!
https://twitter.com/CincyProblems/status/1572631290117066753?cxt=HHwWgsC8ofD0jdMrAAAA
“Well, you’re boned.”
— Bender R., NNYC
He refused to answer successive phone calls from his father, mother, and then brother?
Not that!!!!