Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Tactical Errors

Greetings lizard people. A smarter me would be reporting to you live from the madhouse that is probably Yankee Stadium. See, I got an email yesterday for the weekly Mastercard Monday flash sale for a promo of tonight’s game. And, thinking to myself, “Oh, I wish, but I have a student,” I forgot about it, got home at around 11, and missed my chance for the flash sale that ended at 11:59, forgetting entirely that 1) I could probably resell the ticket for several times whatever I’d pay for it, or 2) I could have just moved the student to Thursday! But nope, didn’t think of that until Tuesday morning, when the time had passed. So, my loss, and I’ll be kicking myself various amounts depending on what happens tonight as Aaron Judge tries to tie the AL record 61 in his assault on the record books and common decency, non-steroids (dear god please be clean) edition. (Going into Wednesday Judge leads all three Triple Crown categories, and the triple slashes, and… god knows what else.) And he hasn’t given up a run this year!

(That joke was too good to pass up.)

Tactical error two, or I guess more execution error: Three people will understand this plight. But with the advent of remote raids in Pokemon Go (thanks to the pandemic), there’s been waiting sites to queue up for raids. This week or so, there’s been a Northern/Southern Hemisphere split between the two current legendary Pokemon. So… I managed (for the second time) to get myself kicked out of the waiting queue because it auto does that after 12 hours, and I guess in the watching of last nights Yankee game I forgot to do that shit. So it took me from approximately 6000th in line (yes, there’s this much of a line) back down to 20,000th.

Pain. Onto the news:

-Players of Week 2: Offense: Tua and Sun God; Defense: Jaylen Watson (KC) and Darius Slay; Special Teams: Brayden “Mann Co.” Mann and Graham Gano, don’t ya know

-3-time Pro Bowl CD Joe Haden signed a one-day contract to retire as a Brown.

-Bruce Arians, now in the front office, was warned for being on the white stripe during the Bucs-Saints fight.

-Bills OL Bobby Hart suspended 1 game for taking a swing at a Tits player, and hitting a coach instead.

-Ted Lasso and AFC Richmond will be a playable team in FIFA ’23. No word on Bernard Gilkey and 2105 Pretend Man City.

What’s for sportsin’?

MLB
Important Games
Record/Triple Crown Watch/Clinch Watch
Yinzers vs. Mobsters (PIT vs. NYY, 7:05) (Judge currently leads AVG by .001; needs 1 home run to tie Maris for single-season AL home run record/”clean” record) (NYY can clinch playoff berth with win AND losses by BAL and CWS) (Senor Weaselo can be made fun of accordingly for not going, see above.) (Or not, see below.)
Triple Crown Watch
Fightin’ Hippos vs. Fightin’ Ringworms (STL vs. SD, 9:40) (Goldschmidt trails in average by .008; trails in home runs by 5; trails in RBI by 9… things are looking a little bleaker.)

Red Battle! Sox vs. Legs (BOS vs. CIN, in progress)
Small Bears vs. Large Fish (CHC vs. MIA, in progress)
“Dear you guys,” (HOU vs. TB, in progress)
Sylvester vs. Tweety (DET vs. BAL, 7:05)
Tungsten Arms vs. Celtic (LAA vs. TEX, 8:05)
T-s vs. Paupers (MIN vs. KC, 8:10)
Groots vs. Tony La Russa’s Drunken Leave of Absence (CLE vs. CWS, 8:10)
Rice-a-Roni vs. Rocky Mountain Oysters (SF vs. COL, 8:40)
Moose vs. Elephant (SEA vs. OAK, 9:40)
Deserts vs. Ravines (ARI vs. LAD, 10:10)

Rex Ryan competing on The Amazing Race (CBS, 10/9c)

Yeah, not much.

UPDATE: Hermana Weaselo and I got tickets on StubHub, let’s fucking go! There may be a BotG depending on how this game goes and if anything happens.

Oh, and one more thing: