Arkansas (+2.5) v. Texas A&M at JerralWorld (7:00, ESPN)
A specially scheduled game to serve one man’s ego, in the temple to said ego. Hope that it’s compelling viewing, otherwise this be the nap window.
Kansas State (+13) at Oklahoma (8:00, Fox)
Remember, LOVE Unded Bill Snyders as a big underdog. No matter that they lost to Tulane last week (because HATE as a favourite).
UConn (+38.5) at NC State (7:30, ESPN3/FS-Car)
Hippo/Horatio Derby! I could…not manage to wrangle a #ShameBet here. Sad Hippo.
Southern Cal (-6.5) at Oregon State (9:30, PAC-12)
This is a game well worth watching, and it sucks that I have to find PAC-12 Network for some Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice Beaver.
Utah (-14) at Arizona State (10:30, ESPN)
Tweaker slate is a little light, but maybe Sparky gets a mini bounce from firing Herm Edwards?
Stanford (+12.5) at Washington (10:30, FS1)
I suppose the Huskies could hangover after thrashing Sparty last week – but the Trees are really, really bad. Anyway, if awake, gotta watch sommet.
Arkansas is gonna lose?
Jerry Seinfeld Popcorn GIF by Sheets & Giggles – Find & Share on GIPHY
A field goal hit the top of an upright? If that happens, that should count as 4 points.
The sideline announcer is doing a great job talking about UConn’s RB being from Bristol Central while not naming Bristol Central’s most famous graduate, that’s right, Aaron Hernandez.
UConn about has the cover locked up
Garbage time TD should do it.
Would have lost money had I bet this game.
Whomp Whomp
PRAISE SHANK’LOR
DOINK!
Texas in the SEC
So when does college basketball start anyway?
Don’t remind me.
I think you misspelled ‘why’
Are you SURE you didn’t go to NC State??
She’s a Terp! Speaking of Terps, today is my niece’s 19th birthday, who is a sophomore at Maryland. Her twin brother, who oddly enough is also having a birthday today, is a sophomore at Dakota State. They are both killing it!
Only a couple days after my birthday! They must awesome, pass on my best wishes, 19 was fun!
My birthday is on Monday. Everybody get ready!
Okie comes out like gangbusters and settles for a field goal?
Okay here’s my universe hates brocky story:
Looking at my fantasy lineup and its NOT looking good for tomorrow.
I’ll likey drop to 0-3. I know in fantasy football that doesn’t seem like a big deal in the long run, but then it occurred to me my collapses usually happened in mid season, not this early, so I took a stroll on my leagues page, which still has the archives of every single game for every year.
I’ve never started 0-3, and I’ve been playing since 2011.
This is a new kind of “universe hates me”. There’s no glimmer of hope. This is like, I don’t even get coal for Christmas. Santa just shits down my chimney.
Fuck why am I talking about Christmas in September?
Grumble grumble
Coal would have been pretty useful back in the day, barefoot gutter kids foraged for bits of it that fell off boats in the Thames
Mudlarks!
https://twitter.com/UConnFootball/status/1573704013744316422
Back when UConn was feeling optimistic about this debacle, they did put out a pretty cool image for it.
The Big 12 (Minus Two Plus Four) makes as much sense as the plot from one of Troy McClure’s middling career movies.
Hey, so does anyone want to hear a “universe Hates brocky story?
of course!
I always enjoy a universe hates Brocky story.
Proceed.
Definitely
The universe has good taste-remember that.
“Not that fucking guy again.”
-T. Universe
Baker Street Station
10/01/19
Charlevoix Station, Montreal
11/07/19
Union Avenue, Montreal
01/13/19
Do you get special illuminati subway access?
yep
(Saxophone and Sherlock intensify)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Swedes are really odd
https://twitter.com/BryanDFischer/status/1573736307083603968
They aren’t too far from where I was in Finland last December. It was pretty entertaining being there for the last day, when we checked the sunrise time it didn’t give a time, it gave a date
Thanks for the reminder to watch it
Watched the AFL final, that first quarter. Wow
I kind of like Iowa. Don’t know why.
Is probably the ignorance about the team.
I lived in Iowa. Had a driver’s license and every damn thing. Davenport. Voted for Jimmy Carter and that’s all I have to say about that.
My mom is from Iowa. I had like a Hawkeyes sweatshirt when I was a kid but that’s all I knew. Visited a couple times — it’s just out there. She doesn’t seem to miss the winters.
I’ve also got a Hawkeye sweatshirt collecting dust somewhere.
I fucked a girl from Iowa once, a long time ago. It was pretty good.
Are you a big fan of vowels? And maybe y?
Maybe that’s it. Vowels are like the buttered marrow of our language. Its the richest cut of state names with that mouthful of letters.
You might like Ohio.
But probably not Mississippi
Why not? He’s WHITE smh
We had lots of friends from Iowa when Gumby was in the Navy. Seemed like every other guy on his first boat, the USS Thomas Jefferson, SSN 618, Hostility Against Tyranny! was from Iowa. One of our friends was from Whiting Iowa, where they filmed the first Children of the Corn movie. He was vry proud of that, until we one-upped him with Slapshot. There were 11 kids in his high school graduating class, and that was including the year before’s seniors that they combined with them. A bunch of Iowa guys played 8 on 8 football, didn’t even know that was a thing!
Did they all join the navy because of some sort of inland, land-locked state overcompensation thing?
Yup. They wanted to reach the beach.
I love watching receivers get a bad touch and while the ball falls towards dead, the safety spears butterfingers there.
What game do I want on?
Undead Snyders/Sooners or Whomping/Aggies
I thought we’d just make fun of soo-ey. How’s U.S. and Whomping come to be?
https://twitter.com/ericalanross/status/1442816829441851403
Very proud fatherhood day today with the boy. Wife’s at work all day and my brother gave me his golf cart that I was just waiting to get delivered. Long story short, ends up being like 3.5 hours in the midday heat (which is actually sort of nice now) of reorganizing the garage and tossing stuff abd selling things on offer up. and the kid was out there with me the whole time just being involved or whatever he was playing with. Hopped on the bike a couple times; took the cart out for a spin; but mostly just powered til 230p without stopping and just slamming all this water but no food. So I took him to McDonald’s. It was gross. He was happy.
I’m cracking the tv for him and gonna toss on a jv game here for me. Point is, I felt cool that he wanted to be around me all day.
https://twitter.com/NoEscalators/status/1573839608659562498
What if I told you touchdowns are overrated? Is a funny one.
These would make great lyrics to a thrash song
Maybe touchdowns are overrated? is joining the political entertainment lexicon by Thanksgiving.
We need JV RedZone stat.
I’d like to subscribe to your podcast-but only if you’re long-winded and teeter on the edge of some weird conspiracy theories.
SUDDEN CHANGE!!!
Wow, they wasted no time trying to kill them on Season 5 of Grand Tour
I’m eating the leftover pizza for a late dinner.
If UConn can shit themselves on regional TV then I can certainly do it in the privacy off my own home.
Also it’s very tasty.
Devin Leary be all liek Timothy Leary there
This game has degenerated to the point that they’re discussing the differences between real husky dogs and wolves.
We have yet to make it to halftime.
I like games where they have to dig deep into the fact sheets. Enough with, “well technically 24 down isn’t an IMPOSSIBLE NUMBER to overcome.. ” bs.
SHANK’LOR, Goddess of “Special” Teams” sent her minion MUFFTUS to Norman, OK.
As Hippo mentioned, K State is a wonderful dog.
The Undead Snyders may be a wonderful dog, but they don’t no anything about covering a crossing route.
The amusing part of this image is that Alabama hasn’t bothered to ban any of these so-called “books”. It’d be like me telling my dog she’s not allowed to do calculus anymore.
NC State was Dragon Ball Zero’s ONLY Power 5 offer. How in the shit did RUTGERS not even want him? Dude is an assassin.
Because Rutgers is a joke of a program/school.
Rutgers is the Arizona Cardinals of JV Foobawl
So far in Lesser Footy the King’s Africa Water Pistols lead the Premier League, Sunderland is a respectable 5th in the Championship, and Wrexham are 1 point out of first place in…is it the National League?…whatever the hell shoddy division they’re in.
I am almost certain Los Pistoleros get Top Two. I could see y’all winning it. Handsome Mikel now has full buy-in.
I need to see them beat a top-tier team or two before I fully commit.
I think the Shempions competition is back in play, not persuaded yet about Top 2.
Wrexham have been on a tear. Won 6-0 today. The problem is that Chesterfield has also been doing well. Not scoring nearly as much as Wrexham, but being competitive to any opponent.
Makes for some good drama at the end of the season.
UConn’s team O/U tonight is 3.5.
I would take the under.
I mean, I can’t recall our last shutout against a D-1A opponent. You’ll get a few scores in the second half. Be like 45-14 or some shit.
UConn QB is a true freshman who plays a like a true freshman in high school, so I’m sticking with the under. If NC State pulled their entire defense UConn would need 5 plays to get into FG range.
UConn fans are having realistic expectations about tonight’s tilt:
https://twitter.com/203NOAH/status/1573794799806779395
THAT PLAY I CALL IT ‘CARRIE’ BECAUSE IT LED TO NOTHING BUT RED ALL OVER THE BACKFIELD!!!
Comment on UConn Twitter: “No wonder they took our hockey team.”
It is the first quarter.
Wait, were we supposed to do a shame bet?
Because there’s no f’in way I’d bet on UConn football.
Our two best offensive players is both DAMN YANKEES (from NJ) too! WHAT A COUNTRY
Our best 7 offensive players (“best” it is understood, is a matter of degree here), are all out.
oof, I can’t imagine y’all got much in the way of quality depth
Buddy, you aren’t going to have to imagine: you’re going to be seeing it, live, tonight.
We are already talking about pulling our starters after this drive.
You should, since UConn is apparently being allowed to horse-collar without repercussion.
Which I think is only fair.
I’m sure Hippo would give you a generous line, #shamebets are more fun when they’re close
I’m not sure he could have done better than the official NC State -38.5 and UConn O/U 3.5 as a team.
O/U 50 yds total offense?
I feel like a complete knucklehead.
For the last 2 years I’ve paid for HBO on my DirecTV bill while at the same time having HBO MAX for free because I have AT&T as my internet provider.
Two years at 30 bucks a month.
At least I finally figured it out.
GODDAMNIT.
Mike Brown just put a price on your head.
/don’t stress out about it too much, the bounty is only $12 and some Yoshinoya coupons so it’s unlikely anyone will try to collect.
Christian wisdom from Ted Cruz:
Cruz said people generally have misunderstandings of what constitutes an assault-style rifle and that politicians take advantage of that.
As he spoke, an audience member yelled out, “Violence doesn’t solve violence.”
“It actually is the only thing that does,” Cruz said. “Violence doesn’t solve violence? That is actually why the left wants to abolish police and why you see murder rates skyrocketing.”
Just really praiseworthy stupidity. And he will never lose that fucking Senate seat, because Texas. Hooray for America!!!
He has a point though, the bible is very vague about what defines an assault rifle.
Also sodomy. Like, could you be a little more specific as to what’s not allowed to be put into where, please? I want to maximize my enjoyment of life while avoiding getting smote.
Beto came close at least. Texas is much more purple nowadays, so there’s a chance he gets booted before he becomes a somehow even more unlikable Mitch
Dragon Ball Zero baby!!
he can has TD WOO!!!!
Apparently they say “Coug’d it” in the Pacific NW for “fucking up.” You have just seen why that is.
Incredible boner.
They had no shot to stop that interception!
quite the circuitous route to a backdoor cover, that!
And you’re telling me UCLA doesn’t want to share a conference with that athletics program?
For some reason, Horatio was nae inteerested in a #ShameBet
I believe you’ll see the reason developing as the game continues.
Also I was at my mother’s moving air conditioners for most of the day, then getting crippling digestive issues from the local pizza joint.
The afternoon has been as painful for me as this game is likely to be for the UConn football team.
BoNix sounds like the sort of dicey company that TB12 would use to source out their placebos, er, supplements.
Gators onside kick SUCCESS
Heartwarming Pacman Jones news
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/19/sports/football/pacman-jones-chris-henry.html?unlocked_article_code=C-GuxklbUXz_f1udqRkm7IVNV1xHj0kPHr0mtVMAFCPv2ihwxz5ylrtRw7GPkhR_EBdU53Yj3MZx2G1iEfjGZIU19VSTG7Fzm9m7duYpdvjo-iFlU5jovzMrm1Y4gIc57ASx1QaYSloSFwj6qXsz7Epn75oCo1FGzeSRpmA_MtkAprzR6K1Pi0kOb6lt-3ZkdU8zH6ilaonohU-N-HddDSASaZlOztPjtNw28De4RWS49zn4qfJ-wgJaatU72QK9Y0ZnnxrODJzOgLWxzHlFfksMnk6f0bietI3QhZ0Bd13E3UR04xwELD30JTkZhIyyHeOanq1PoFap22w5dMkZ3T_DmqveC8UFJ3sn&smid=share-url
Balls. The article states he has still been assaulting people at nightclubs as recently as last year. Good luck to those kids, but those people have no business being parents and they are certainly not role models of any kind. Fire pacman jones directly into the fucking sun.
But he gon’ shine. And he gon’ drank.
Hard to really judge from one article, but sounds like a better domestic situation than a lot of what goes on nowadays – it’s a super low bar, but I’m way more forgiving of regular assault in a club than I am of sexual assault. Besides, there are quite a lot of shitty people who raise awesome kids, and awesome people who raise vicious toilet-crud people, and he is well placed to help them navigate all the predatory sports stuff, so I think the kids got a shot.
I don’t know. He threw a drunken tantrum and fired gun bullets at people that resulted in people being permanently paralyzed. And all he had to do was throw money at the situation and it essentially went away. He can clean out all the fucking gutters he wants. He is not rehabilitated or remorseful.
Everything I’ve read about the Vegas incident, it’s far from clear what exactly happened, but while he may have encouraged the shooter, it appears he’s never actually fired a weapon in public. I’m happy to put him in the category of shitbag, but the club owner goes there too, and again, he faced more consequences for a shooting associated with him where he wasn’t present than 99% of people committing serious sexual assault. So yeah, a shitbag, and I would be very careful if I ran into him on a night out, but far from the worst sort of shitbag.
Well, the good news from my liquor shopping is that I have secured my supplies of allspice dram for the fall and probably all of winter.
The bad news is that there seems to be a chartreuse shortage. We may need to convene an emergency meeting of the DFO Liquor Committee.
We need to kidnap some monks, stat!
We’ll assemble a quorum. Please write up a bulleted list so we can add it to the agenda.
Quackers D has to be gassed
I’d like to temporarily retract my shitting on west coast football because Oregano/Washing State is a bit of a banger.
oh indeed
Guns Up!! baby.
/premature ejaculation
How are these JV kickers more clutch?
they’s doing it FOAR college pussy
“I to prefer to call it ‘The Shoot Early and Dribble Offense’, myself.”
-R. Pitino
Hang ’em!