Welp, I guess the Fins are sorta for real-I’ll say it again, I really like Nerd Coach’s play-calling. Houston jumped out to an early lead and couldn’t hold on. (I’m sensing a pattern) I’ll stop right now because I don’t want to step on Hippo’s hooves.
To The Game!
Niners/Broncos:
-The newly-configured Denver O-brought to you by Wilson-is giving the team 16 (exactly 16! No more, no less) points a game so far this year. I was told there would be a transition involved but I figured it would be positive. Will they reach 18? Perhaps 20 tonight? Baby steps.
-The running game is a mixed bag-both Javonte and Melvin are averaging 5+ ypc but don’t have a TD between them. You’d think that drought would end tonight.
-Brittle Kittle is finally back!
-Called It! Some fella by the name of Jerry Rosburg-a former Ravens assistant head coach-was in the building by Wednesday last week. His role is to advise Hackett with in-game decisions and provide him with ‘guidance’ and ‘not fucking up’ simple decisions, I’m guessing.
-Hackett has committed himself to improving which is wonderful because it seems as though there is a chasm he has to cross.
-Great Find? Rook 4th round cb Damarri Mathis was pressed into action last week when Surtain suffered an injury. He was graded out at 77.9 by the fine folks over at PFF, garnering a top 5 freshman score for week 2.
-Curious Prop Bet Opportunity: Deebo’s longest reception has been placed at 22.5 yards. He exceeded that number 20 times last year and Jimmy G. unloaded a few deep throws last week. In addition, going back to the beginning of last year the Broncos have allowed a catch of 23+ yards in all but one tilt. Sounds like money.
Do your thingy.
I watched House of the Dragon instead of most of that game, and I think you folks that stuck with the game got the better of the deal. Just boring, interspersed with dumb.
ETA: going to take ‘boring’ back, but replace it with more dumb. Lots of, “What? Why?” from the characters there.
Like a good boy I’m going to wash my face, brush my teeth and say my prayers to St. Daboll. See you folks back here tomorrow.
There is a pink plastic gemstone under my bed, the stripper fairy has visited!
Don’t touch it. You don’t know whose buttplug that fell off.
/eyes “stripper fairy”
// types several possible jokes, deletes them all as potentially homophobic
/// waits for Buddy Cole to show up
This was a weird day! Monday Night Football had better not disappoint me on my birthday. Here’s the pic of the day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVE
A new member of the DFO pantheon was birthed today.
Buttpunt vs. Buttfumble — WHO YA GOT?
As long as there are butts involved, I’m good.
OH COME ON. I just passed on the “stripper fairy” comment below, and now you’re baiting me with this?
Neil Young won’t let Spotify have his music, but allows this taintlicking effort from Beck? I guess “I’m a lot like you” refers to cheesedicking your 4th quarter against inferior competition so you both lost?
https://twitter.com/danorlovsky7/status/1574222602515668992?t=2DEUWe5bx4cfi0tdmGugpg&s=19
Oooh, you think he’ll thank Jesus? Or just his sponsors?
He should thank Jesus every goddamn day for letting Ciara make him a man!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYSopeqBRKo&ab_channel=MarieSalazar
Seeing what a big difference losing Trent Williams made here, I feel I should point out again how shitty the entire WAS organization is. Who else would drive away such a talented player in a critical position though medical negligence? So fucked up
There are no bad wins, but there are stupid wins, and this was one.
Stupid wins need the most attention!
I certainly gave this one a lot of mine!
Well, that was a…game.
ALLEGEDLY
kyle shanahan
forever paying for 28-3
fuck you
THESE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS I CALL THEM MY COLLEGE FRESHMAN ROOMMATE BECAUSE THEY’RE TERRIBLE
SUDDEN ENDING!
Godfuckingdammit. I hate the fucking 49ers.
Proposing a toast to the DFO Pantheon. They brought their A game and deserve all the nectar
This might be the worst football game I’ve ever seen.
I seem to recall a Steelers/Ravens SNF/MNF game during peak covid that ended up 13-10 or something like that. Noodle-arm Ben vs. the Ravens’ practice squad players. It was pretty horrible.
Another chance for a safety.
Not every day you get to see a San Francisco muff.
MUFF!
It’s not Friday yet, but I applaud the spirit.
Inspired play calling. My high school football coach would be tumescent. May very well be, I don’t know if he’s alive or dead.
Tumescent, putrescent, what’s the difference?
A couple of inches?
Beating Maestro by 1.54 points. Everyone stay still-don’t move a muscle!
Newsradio Phil Hartman dance – YouTube
Ugh, golf reference
Ok, so we need Russ to run 40 something yards backwards and Orlovsky himself.
https://youtu.be/qztuEucrNBc
Will this be another surprise? Surprise!
HANDSOMECEPTION!
In. Ter. Ception!
the afc west won a game?!
Was the unicorn left outside Deckard’s door a scorigami? Discuss.
It was on the ground . . . so at least a floorigami, no?
For chrissakes, I need one more Debo catch. Somehow, that’s too fucking much to ask for in the fetid shitscape that is 2022.
How about an almost Deebo catch?
That’s a quarter point in my league.
Well, Deebo was kind of involved with that catch.
Is 12-11 scorigami? That would be fun (though highly unlikely).
Edit. I am wrong
It is!
I don’t know how to tell you this, but one of you is wrong.
Well now Sharky’s edit screws the pooch
Williams scores a TD there I win my FF game by a point. Naturally Hackett puts in the RB with two fumbles on the night.
Thing I have noticed this year, there are a lot of Williams in the NFL
Those bastards ruined it.
Mile highgasm!
WOO?
Oh hey!