Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Welp, I guess the Fins are sorta for real-I’ll say it again, I really like Nerd Coach’s play-calling. Houston jumped out to an early lead and couldn’t hold on. (I’m sensing a pattern) I’ll stop right now because I don’t want to step on Hippo’s hooves.

To The Game!

Niners/Broncos:

-The newly-configured Denver O-brought to you by Wilson-is giving the team 16 (exactly 16! No more, no less) points a game so far this year. I was told there would be a transition involved but I figured it would be positive. Will they reach 18? Perhaps 20 tonight? Baby steps.

-The running game is a mixed bag-both Javonte and Melvin are averaging 5+ ypc but don’t have a TD between them. You’d think that drought would end tonight.

-Brittle Kittle is finally back!

-Called It! Some fella by the name of Jerry Rosburg-a former Ravens assistant head coach-was in the building by Wednesday last week. His role is to advise Hackett with in-game decisions and provide him with ‘guidance’ and ‘not fucking up’ simple decisions, I’m guessing.

-Hackett has committed himself to improving which is wonderful because it seems as though there is a chasm he has to cross.

-Great Find? Rook 4th round cb Damarri Mathis was pressed into action last week when Surtain suffered an injury. He was graded out at 77.9 by the fine folks over at PFF, garnering a top 5 freshman score for week 2.

-Curious Prop Bet Opportunity: Deebo’s longest reception has been placed at 22.5 yards. He exceeded that number 20 times last year and Jimmy G. unloaded a few deep throws last week. In addition, going back to the beginning of last year the Broncos have allowed a catch of 23+ yards in all but one tilt. Sounds like money.

Do your thingy.

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BugEyedBoo

I watched House of the Dragon instead of most of that game, and I think you folks that stuck with the game got the better of the deal. Just boring, interspersed with dumb.

ETA: going to take ‘boring’ back, but replace it with more dumb. Lots of, “What? Why?” from the characters there.

Last edited 2 years ago by BugEyedBoo
Doktor Zymm

There is a pink plastic gemstone under my bed, the stripper fairy has visited!

TheRevanchist

Don’t touch it. You don’t know whose buttplug that fell off.

Dunstan

/eyes “stripper fairy”
// types several possible jokes, deletes them all as potentially homophobic
/// waits for Buddy Cole to show up

Gumbygirl

This was a weird day! Monday Night Football had better not disappoint me on my birthday. Here’s the pic of the day

FdiKAF2akAA32jp.jpeg
BrettFavresColonoscopy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A new member of the DFO pantheon was birthed today.

Dunstan

Buttpunt vs. Buttfumble — WHO YA GOT?

ballsofsteelandfury

As long as there are butts involved, I’m good.

Dunstan

OH COME ON. I just passed on the “stripper fairy” comment below, and now you’re baiting me with this?

WCS

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Downfield Matriculator

Neil Young won’t let Spotify have his music, but allows this taintlicking effort from Beck? I guess “I’m a lot like you” refers to cheesedicking your 4th quarter against inferior competition so you both lost?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oooh, you think he’ll thank Jesus? Or just his sponsors?

Downfield Matriculator

He should thank Jesus every goddamn day for letting Ciara make him a man!

Doktor Zymm

Seeing what a big difference losing Trent Williams made here, I feel I should point out again how shitty the entire WAS organization is. Who else would drive away such a talented player in a critical position though medical negligence? So fucked up

makeitsnowondem

There are no bad wins, but there are stupid wins, and this was one.

Doktor Zymm

Stupid wins need the most attention!

makeitsnowondem

I certainly gave this one a lot of mine!

Gumbygirl

Well, that was a…game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

ALLEGEDLY

fleshwound_NPG

kyle shanahan

forever paying for 28-3

fuck you

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THESE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS I CALL THEM MY COLLEGE FRESHMAN ROOMMATE BECAUSE THEY’RE TERRIBLE

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN ENDING!

Col. Duke LaCross

Godfuckingdammit. I hate the fucking 49ers.

Doktor Zymm

Proposing a toast to the DFO Pantheon. They brought their A game and deserve all the nectar

Horatio Cornblower

This might be the worst football game I’ve ever seen.

BugEyedBoo

I seem to recall a Steelers/Ravens SNF/MNF game during peak covid that ended up 13-10 or something like that. Noodle-arm Ben vs. the Ravens’ practice squad players. It was pretty horrible.

TheRevanchist

Another chance for a safety.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not every day you get to see a San Francisco muff.

Mr. Ayo

MUFF!

Dunstan

It’s not Friday yet, but I applaud the spirit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Inspired play calling. My high school football coach would be tumescent. May very well be, I don’t know if he’s alive or dead.

BugEyedBoo

Tumescent, putrescent, what’s the difference?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A couple of inches?

WCS

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Redshirt
Doktor Zymm

Ugh, golf reference

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, so we need Russ to run 40 something yards backwards and Orlovsky himself.

Doktor Zymm

Will this be another surprise? Surprise!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

HANDSOMECEPTION!

Mr. Ayo

In. Ter. Ception!

fleshwound_NPG

the afc west won a game?!

Downfield Matriculator

It was on the ground . . . so at least a floorigami, no?

Col. Duke LaCross

For chrissakes, I need one more Debo catch. Somehow, that’s too fucking much to ask for in the fetid shitscape that is 2022.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How about an almost Deebo catch?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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makeitsnowondem

That’s a quarter point in my league.

Redshirt

Well, Deebo was kind of involved with that catch.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is 12-11 scorigami? That would be fun (though highly unlikely).

Sharkbait

Edit. I am wrong

Last edited 2 years ago by Sharkbait
makeitsnowondem

It is!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know how to tell you this, but one of you is wrong.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well now Sharky’s edit screws the pooch

Horatio Cornblower

Williams scores a TD there I win my FF game by a point. Naturally Hackett puts in the RB with two fumbles on the night.

Doktor Zymm

Thing I have noticed this year, there are a lot of Williams in the NFL

Sharkbait

Those bastards ruined it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Mile highgasm!

Mr. Ayo

WOO?

Doktor Zymm

Oh hey!