Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

This wacky season continues unabated. Double doinks, questionable decisions made by coaching and medical staffs, ex-players showing their wares during swim time-this season has it all and there’s certainly more to come!

Fallout:

-Your guy Javonte Williams is done. Were you sneaky enough to get his (Gordon) handcuff? [raises hand] I sure hope his work split with Mike Boone comes in around 70-30 but who the hell knows with Nate Hackett?

-Cordarrelle had a knee thingy done first thing Monday and was put on IR. I believe that puts him out for 4 weeks minimum so I’m thinking it was a scope maybe? The team is being hush-hush on that front. Kudos to you if you took a flyer on rook Tyler Allgeier-he’s been averaging 5.9 yards per touch. Beware of a certain Caleb Huntley though. He was signed off the practice squad and split carries with Tyler.

-It was super unlikely at the start of the season but Detroit has to be that team that you don’t cheer for but that you want to see play because you know you’ll see fireworks. They’ve scored the most points in the league so far-their 141 outpaces the Chiefs (129) by a significant margin. So step up and take a bow, guy I’ve never heard of before, (Ben Johnson) you’ll no doubt be mentioned as a hot commodity once the year-end firings are announced.

-Why are the Broncos, (-0.29) Bengals (-0.29) and Bucs (-0.33) struggling? Are “B” teams cursed? No, that number beside their names are their respective Expected Points Added per run play. They can’t run so they can’t set up play action so the O is struggling.

To The Game!

Rams/Niners:

-LA has lost 6 straight regular season tilts to their NFC West opponents.

-Them Rams running game is struggling (so is Akers) to the tune of 72.3 yards a game. Yes, this is a passing league but some semblance of balance is necessary in order to score points.

-Keep An Eye Out: He’s not gonna set the world on fire but Ben Skowroneck-a wr at 6’3″, 220 pounds-played fullback in certain situations last week and told media more plays have been put in this week. Highlights show him leaking out of the backfield uncovered a few times-should be interesting to watch.

-Cupp has not done well vs the Niners, averaging a mere 4.7 catches and 51 yards during the regular season.

-Goff’s 2nd favorite pass catcher this year? It’s Tyler Higbee-he has one less target than Robinson and Skowronek combined.

Enjoy the tilt.

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Fronkenshteen

I don’t know who should own the Dallas Cowboys. It’ll probably be just another oil-drenched redneck fucking scumbag. But Jerry Jones should have machine gun bullets stitched across his fucking chest. Today.

Senor Weaselo
BrettFavresColonoscopy

(i know they’re grifty but they’re also great at content)

Dunstan

Wasn’t the right all outraged about the green M&M wearing less sexy footwear? I think this was just after the “Dr. Seuss has been CANCELLED” controversy, though it’s hard to keep track.

Col. Duke LaCross

I hate pretty much everyone involved in LP, but goddamn, the D’s could sure use the lesson in how to craft an attack ad from those guys.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That actually elicited a burst of laughter from me.

Dunstan

The sazerac is an excellent drink.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What do you say to those who posit that the original was with rum rather than whiskey?

Dunstan

Don’t know, don’t care. I’m aware of the cognac vs. bourbon vs. rye debate, but hadn’t heard that one before. Really it doesn’t matter — I actually like a rum-based old fashioned, my first drink tonight was essentially that with some allspice dram thrown in.

Tonight I went with the triple threat sazerac: equal parts rye, bourbon, and cognac (why decide?).

TheRevanchist

I didn’t get to see much of the game, but what I did see was Jaylen Ramsey playing dirty.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

With interest?

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Brocky

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Last edited 2 years ago by Brocky
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now i know why Buddy showed up in the thread tonight: tomorrow is the start of fat bear week

https://explore.org/fat-bear-week

SonOfSpam

I think he’s more into Skinny Twink Week.

Brick Meathook

I just learned something from that commercial: the TV show I’m working on is actually a feature film. I am so high on drugs.

SonOfSpam

/writes “game over” in notebook
//writes “fuck you Peter King” in notebook, feels ok about that

Last edited 2 years ago by SonOfSpam
Dunstan

Wasn’t the “game over” in the notebook a Gregggggg Easterbrook thing?

Dunstan

I mean, don’t get me wrong, “fuck you Peter King” is always a valid sentiment.

SonOfSpam

You’re right. They must both be penetrated.

Dunstan

I’d say “fuck Peter King with Brett Favre’s dick,” but how would he notice?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So that’s not helpful

Mr. Ayo

The Gospel of Fatthew has failed us.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy shit, if Deebo scores again and does a bunch more things, i might have a shot at surmounting the insurmountable 38 point deficit i entered the night with. Let’s go Santa Clara!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Best case scenario, Rams quickly tie it with a TD and 2pt conversion, and then the niners dink and dunk to Deebo til he scores the game winning touchdown.

But instead I would guess he scores like 6 more points and stops.

Mr. Ayo

Maestro has Kupp and Deebo and is 20 pts behind me. I’m positive I’m going to get Brocky’d.

Last edited 2 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Brocky

So I fucking did it. I’m tired of losing. I created a situation where I can’t possibly lose. Fuck you God. The Brockster has outsmarted you this week.

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Mr. Ayo

I’m sure this hypocrisy will never come back to bite you in the ass.

Brocky

Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to lose. It’ll happen

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Gumbygirl

Ugh, this game is harshing my beautiful buzz. I’m going to read for awhile.

Doktor Zymm

How did people manage before spreadsheets? I would be so disorganized without them. I am gonna spend SO MANY MILES next year

Game Time Decision

I know someone that can help you use up those miles
/ no, not me

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

League leader Tony Romo has a plan to spend many smiles next year, too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Touching balls can get your land taken away? Sheesh, sorry about that, ladies.” – Robert Kraft

Brocky

And my lead is gone. 0-4 in my competitive money league.

Fantasy weekend is over.

Or is it?

Does anyone remember me getting particularly salty last week and saying some crazy shit?

Spur

Hope the Dallas staff are keeping notes on how to handle this Ram pass rush but who am I kidding they’re busy picking their belly button lint then smelling their finger.