Your “Horsey vs. Horsey” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

So, um, why is Denver getting another prime time game after they acquitted themselves so terribly just two weeks ago? Ours is not to wonder why, we should just watch and hope that the two strugglebacks under center somehow turn things around tonight. Vegas has only two other games that feature a lower over/under than this one. (one of them is the mandatory Giants/Packers London tilt. Gah.)

Newsy Notes:

-That delusional animal rights activist insists on keeping himself in the news by filing a police report regarding him getting clocked by Bobby Wagner after running onto the field last week. Can you do that if you’re still in concussion protocol? Perhaps he should go back to throwing red paint on heiresses wearing mink coats or whatever.

-Ever the situational contrarian, Qaron insists that he would like to stay in London longer. (preferably on the team’s shilling or pound or Euro, I’m guessing)

-Speaking of the game yet again, Tyrod is still concussed and will be travelling with the team. Meanwhile, Dimes was a limited participant in practice. We know how this thing will go-if Dimes can’t make it, Tyrod will be magically cleared late on Saturday afternoon. Actually, he’ll be cleared no matter what, in case Dimes re-injures himself during the game. I’m not cynical, you’re cynical for calling me cynical.

To The Game!

Colts/Broncs:

-Adjustment Problems? Matt Ryan was my sneaky pick to have a great year with a new team. Well, he’s turned the ball over 8 times and been sacked 15 times. That o-line is doing him no favors.

-His partner on the other side of the pasture was so glad to get away from a franchise that was run-first, had a lousy o-line and a good defense. So, thank beJezuz he ended up on a run-first team with a lousy o-line and a good defense.

-Both teams are without their flashy rb’s but Indy is also without a starting safety, linebacker and defensive end.

-Shortcake Backfield? Mighty mites Nyheim Hines (5’9″, a buck 95) and Phillip Lindsay (5’8″, 190) should have a great time running between the tackles tonight. Good luck and good night.

-The Broncos rb Gordo has 70% of the backfield to himself-one would think-despite fantasy dudes running to pick up Mike Boone. The latter failed to pick up a handful of blitzes and dropped two easy passes when he was called into action last week. If Gordo continues to fumble the ball it will be good old Latavius Murray (inactive tonight) that will be picking up the slack. (and the blitzes)

Do that thing with your digits.

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The Maestro

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Downfield Matriculator

Donks would be better off with Buddy Hackett as coach

/why yes, I know he is deceased

The Maestro

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Last edited 2 years ago by The Maestro
Gumbygirl

Ohhh yes!

Mr. Ayo

In. Com. Plete.

Mr. Ayo

This is like watching the end of an NBA game.

The Maestro

Back from hockey, where I felt like absolute fucking shit because I’m getting fat and out of shape and having to skate extra due to missing a forward… and coming back to this monstrosity of a game?

Yeesh.

Now that the feelings of nausea I felt after getting off the ice have passed, I’m instead going to post various pictures of burnt ends until I fall asleep soon.

WCS

Good thing Hippo’s a law-talkin’ guy, cause he can represent himself in the upcoming homicide trial of Nathanial Hackett.

Redshirt

Kick the Field Goal, you pussies! None of you deserve to win tonight, and you know it!

Downfield Matriculator

Go for it!

Redshirt

Damn, Denver.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I guess Denver D was a pretty good play.

Redshirt

Wow. Jeudy still remembers how to catch?

Mr. Ayo

Time to turn the Charm in Charmslinger up to 11.

Redshirt

I want time to run out on the Broncos on this drive before they get a chance to score. That’s the only way this game should end.

makeitsnowondem

Even Melvin Gordon’s not that slow.

Senor Weaselo

You know what was a bad idea? Adding that many Szechuan peppercorns.

We’ll see if I die, in which case Senorita Weaselo will kill me since tomorrow’s her birthday.

Gumbygirl

Happy Birthday Senorita! Are you taking her somewhere nice? You have soooo many choices!

Sharkbait

Shan’khlor hear our prayer.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m calling it right now: 12-12 tie

Mr. Ayo

We’re halfway there. Some would say we’re living on a prayer.

Brocky

Hippo, put down the gun

makeitsnowondem

What gun? Hippo’s gonna poison the nanobubble supply.

Mr. Ayo
Brocky

LMAO

BeefReeferLives

It’s like I’m in the Direct TV commercial but instead of Football and Housewives, it’s Football and Day of the Living Dead…

BugEyedBoo

Tails never fails!

herodotus450

Wow the “win” “””””””probability”””””””” is exactly 50% after the score is tied at the end of regulation. I wonder what kind of super computer it took to come up with that result.

Sharkbait

HAL.

JimU

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Redshirt

X-X-2 is in play. A 2-tie team is in play!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

Senor Weaselo

So which scorigami do we root for, 9-9 tie or 11-9 walkoff safety?

WCS

11-9 is what we want, 9-9 is what we deserve.

BugEyedBoo

According to Al Michaels, 9-9 isn’t a scorigami.

Senor Weaselo

The site has it blank, so I’m going with that!

Mr. Ayo

Always root for most glorious tie.

Sharkbait

Walkoff safety would be infinitely funnier

Redshirt

Yes. Hilarious.

Doktor Zymm

Ok, all that nonsense with the administrative stop or whatever is a fitting end to this game. It is over in my head and I refuse to acknowledge overtime. Guten noches, y’all!

TheRevanchist

Just like the Broncos fans.

Can’t say I blame you.

Doktor Zymm

We are all listed as Questionable to return to the game

Senor Weaselo

Stop the count!

Sharkbait

Ok Herbstreit throwing shade at broncos fans leaving was pretty awesome

Redshirt

Its a tie game and people are leaving?! BWHAHAHAHA!

Downfield Matriculator

Photofinish after coming down the backstretch!

Brocky

I’m pissed now shanklor,

I go to you

I stick up for you

..if you don’t help me now

I say Fuck you shanklor

I do it myself

makeitsnowondem

Never count out Matty Ice.

WCS

Or count on.

Mr. Ayo

OV-ER-TIME!

TheRevanchist

I need this!

Brocky

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Downfield Matriculator

Wow just tuned in and saw Russ with that end zone preparation of Nyquil Chicken . . . judging by the comments, we’d all be better off with some purple drank!

Doktor Zymm

Did the veterinary supply store run out of joint supplements?
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Mr. Ayo

Only 4 more years of this DONKS WOO!

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King Hippo

These liquid drizzling shits are gonna lose in NORMAL TIME

Beerguyrob

This game was so bad I spent the entire first half making pizza, so I don’t feel I totally wasted my time tonight.

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Sharkbait

You chose wisely.

King Hippo

HOW DO YOU NOT RECOVER THAT SHIT

makeitsnowondem

They’ve had the worst fumble luck honestly.

Doktor Zymm

That was a pretty nice crotch catch tho

BeefReeferLives

“Damn Skippy”
-Jerricho C(r)otchery

King Hippo

Chubb needed to be an inch longer

TheRevanchist

That’s what my wife says, too

Senor Weaselo

These are definitely the TNF games we know and loathe.

Sharkbait

Nature is healing.

King Hippo

Good thing I am already ded inside

Beerguyrob

Time for moar pills.

King Hippo

OH INDEED

Beerguyrob

It’s just cruel to give Matt Ryan hope at this point.

Doktor Zymm

Fun fact: Those Broncos fans aren’t reacting to the interception, they’ve had those facial expressions the whole game!

TheRevanchist

Gilmore interception in the end zone? You don’t say!

Sharkbait

Wow. Just…wow.

makeitsnowondem

Christ. We had the opportunity to go up by TWO field goals.

Mr. Ayo

IN-TER-CEP-TION

King Hippo

NAKED BOOTLEG IS WIDE OPEN