Not gonna lie, I’m pumped to watch the Sens play tonight-the talent on the top six has increased immensely and the same as well for the top four defensemen. Jake Sanderson gets robbed for Rookie of the Year-you heard it here first.
Newsy Notes:
-Oh, Wee Danny Boy apparently has ‘dirt’ on all the NFL owners. Well, there’s different kinds of dirt and I think that the rest of the owners will use theirs to bury Snyder’s corpse if it comes to that.
-Skylar Thompson, that afterthought of a draft pick (I mean, you pick him and don’t give him much thought because you don’t expect to use him at all) gets the start for the Fins this week because the league wants to backwardly correct the shitty situations involving Tua and Teddy, the Concussion Twins.
-The Bills have weathered the injury storm that had them down several key guys. Starters that returned to practice this week included wr McKenzie, lb Edmunds, te Knox, dt Oliver, dt Phillips and safety Poyer. Also, there was a Tra’Davius White sighting as well.
To The Game!
Commies/Bears:
-Welp, the over/under of 37.5 gives you an idea of what Vegas thinks of this ‘game’ between two bad offenses and two bad defenses.
-Carson Wentz, the central reason why everything has gone wrong, according to his coach, runs hot and cold for sure. (I mean, damn, why would Rivera say that and then do the obligatory back-pedaling?) He’s posted three games of 21+ fantasy points and two games of less than 9. It might have to do with the success of the deep ball that he likes to throw.
-He’s second in the league in deep balls thrown and is 4th-best in effectiveness on those throws.
-Dyami Brown was the main beneficiary last week (can you hear the stampede of fantasy fellas running to the waiver wire?) He did that on only 16 routes run so I think he got lucky.
-Speaking of, Scary Terry is scoreless since week 1.
-Perhaps put the brakes on rb Brian Robinson, the kid is playing his second game in five days since being shot.
Go Sens!
Insurmountable lead!
Samuel has forgotten how to catch a football.
Soon in Kindle: “On the spot of the foul: the Carson Wentz Story”
My lady friend’s son is anxious about losing his virginity. He wants to just get it over with. He wants to find ANY girl (ugly or otherwise) and do it with her. He says it’s better than nothing.
I tell him that he needs to be choosy and that just because something is available, he shouldn’t just settle for anything just because it’s there.
The experience of watching this game reinforces my point perfectly.
Tell him you’ll always remember your first. Does he want it to be with a nice, sweet girl, a hot woman or someone that has been ridden more than bus seat and has that same texture and taste?
A professional who WON’T LAUGH OR JUDGE!
I’m trying to get him to a brothel in Nevada, so that might not work. Or maybe it will…
Take the kid to a whorehouse already.
Oh, we’re planning it. The thing that may not work is Redshirt’s advice.
Should just put Fitz in as all time QB after the half
Rapey U QB just got brainkilled.
I was so disappointed to see the Bears were in the red zone and my hopes for a 0-0 tie would not come to fruition.
But I forgot something. These are the Bears!
a B1G punting game
Even Iowa thinks this is bad.
IDEA! Hippo and Brick have a drinking contest, except with opiates. Y’all all bring your expired meds TO WICHITA and we duel until someone nods off.
Or dies.
That’s just being a show-off
I am unkillable
Parts of you aren’t, obviously.
my cancerous heel bone was thrown in an incinerator. there has been no detectable spread. it’s gone. started walking again today for the first time, 2 months and 2 days after surgery.
Brick: 1 Cancer: 0
Well, 0.97 to 0.03
Oh shit, you’re being upgraded to T-1000 levels.
HOLY SHIT, that is GOOD
I loved Gary Larson’s cocaine phase.
I don’t know what Ron RIvera is on about. His qb seems fine.
Rapey U player deded
Hmmmm… I fi d this to be an interesting weed–game GAME
perhaps in the 2nd half? Or maybe we get WCS to post his Frank Beamer gif!
Patience, grasshopper.
(in best George Wallace voice)
Nil-nil today, nil-nil tomarrrah, nil-nil FOAREVER
The comedian or the guy that liked hanging out at high schools?
If an audience showed up for the former and got the latter, they’s be mighty agitated. Or vice versa.
Oh, goddamn you!!!! – Evert fantasy GM who started Khalil Herbert last week
Correct. Though tempered by the fact that I won, again, for the fifth time this year.
In money league, I have somehow managed 4-1, despite starting (i) Charmslinger; and (ii) Kyle Pitts.
Leaning strapping on the ol’ Fatthew Feedbag this weekend instead of Russ. But feel guilty,
Just leaning? Charmslinger is hurt!
yeah, but NANOBUBBLES and he’ll gut it out (because such a STRONG XIAN LEEDER)
I didn’t know he was a Xionist? What is his stance on the settlements?
Still at work. How goes the game?
“And so they beat on, running backs against the defensive line, borne back ceaselessly into the backfield.”
-F. “Scotty F” Fitzgerald
The Hitler Mice’s “Space U” kit is even worse than the Bearistocrats!
Dakota Jesus has a SB ring.
He almost won an MVP award. Life comes at you fast!
One day you are a sommelier at a hotel then next thing you have a middle management job and Honda Civic.
I drive a Dodge Stratus!
Game is a plot by Snyder to tank Amazon Primes value so he can’t buy the Redacteds
With all the awfulness of Dan Snyder, let’s not forget that Jack Del Rio is a shithead too.
“Cleansing” for a colonoscopy tomorrow. Party time!
At least it’s easier to watch in the terlet with Amazon Prime coverage!
Trust no farts due this exciting time
If he’s old enough for a colonoscopy (I am prepared to fight my doctor when she brings this up during me December physical), then he knows a fart can always be MOAR!
I have a family history of colon cancer, so I don’t get to poop in a box, and I have to get it every five years instead of every ten.
Commies and Bears playing on Thursday night is the NFL trying to divide by zero-and it’s working.
six straight touchdownless quarters
prime gonna force people to go back to mom n pop stores to find real football
Whenever I quickly peek at the TV, I think the DONKS WOO! are playing.
Also, their jersey colors are similar.
OUR LOVELY MANGO IS NOTHING LIKE THIS PUMPKIN/BABY DIARRHEA COLOUR
The nods seem like a viable alternative to this sportsball product.
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Turns out I am fading the Commie RB that didn’t get speed holes this summer. So, let’s get a working margin here, Chi****!
holy shit the bears are gonna sail past 10 completions at this rate
commies offering a 1941-esque russian defense
and just like the germans the bears fuck it all up
Are we ahead of last week’s pace on first downs with 1?
Your team will pass its whole year of completions in the 1st half.
Not sure why I’m awake, but nawt going to take advantage of that fact to try and watch this horrorshow. Maybe will read French detective novel instead. I sure have spent a lot of time living in cities with shite football teams
WHich novel?
The Dark Vineyard. It’s the secondin the Bruno chief of police series. So many excellent food and wine descriptions
I love those!
Is this game part of Dan Snyder’s war of terror against the human population?
Revenge on the planet for the scouring of the shire
He’s like a bad parody of a of a carbon copy of a recycled cliched Bond villain.
He’s the knock off version of a Bond villain
Bond villain from the writer’s strike
They shoulda had the teams test the new super bowl games than play football
WOOF, this Pumpkin Bearistocrats! kit…
Tis fall!
A Fail FOAR Teh Fall
There’s a good reason they never wore orange helmets before.
Not sure what went wrong my life for me to end up watching this game
If not for DFO and I wouldn’t be watching it. Even hailing Gamblor isn’t that big of a deal.
Folks
Litre Prop bet parlay. Slurs to win, Robinson over 39.5 yds and a td, and Samuel over 44.5 yds.
10 to 1
Lets go Dakota Jesus!!!
No.
I’ll stick with Ice Giants vs. Ice Vikings. Less of a chance of a dumpster fire there.
Sens are up 1-0. The Dread Wings aren’t even allowed to play until tomorrow when there are so many other sports entertainment options. #Bettmangotthisoneright
Prebaked excuse for a choke job?
https://twitter.com/TomPelissero/status/1580513682932477953?t=hc8_HMhDQ9YrQoK7hypkRw&s=19
5-5 final and scoragami
I heard it as being a shoulder strain. Bases are being covered just like me after senior prom.
As in “covered” so that you can’t touch them?
Hey, if prayer is good enough FOAR COVID, it should be good enough for his shoulder.
https://twitter.com/NFL_Memes/status/1580561735916093442?t=uNcBCijDJvY-Jp6IV57itQ&s=19
Funny, but they’re still joke-stealing bastards.
i thought commies vs bears was settled in 1991
“Nyet.” – V. Putin, Undisclosed Bunker, Russia
his plan is all about that bunker but it would be hilarious if he gets there, calls the nukes, and russia just ignores him and let him have his mini russia in exile and shut him off. everybody gets what they want
That would be kind of funny; just lock him in and kill the power and plumbing.
“Can you fall to your death from a bunker? Asking for a friend.”
-Russian General
Today, when I was working at home, I actually had Wakezillette at school and Toddlerzilla at daycare, making Mrs. Zilla and I home alone for once. Did I stop working so I could absolutely rail Mrs. Zilla? You’re damn right I did.
Getting paid to have sex is pretty rad. I wonder if others have thought about doing this for a living.
pics or it didn’t happen obvs!
/but seriously, I am impressed that you didn’t both opt for a nap immediately
If one is asleep while having sex, it’s a crime. If both are asleep while having sex, it’s parenthood.
“I tried it one time. Didn’t really work out.” – Jeffrey Toobin
Commies and Bearistocrats! on teevee WHEN CHILDREN CAN SEE IT is wut u get with SLEEPY JOE BY-DUMB in office!!!1111
I should get a little gardening done before the game starts.
– neither of the groundskeeping crews that work for either of these teams, ever
With a vacuum I presume?
My in-laws were from Ohio, and called a vaccum “the sweeper.” I considered this to be equivalent to a war crime.
Almost as bad as referring to soda as “pop”.
You mean a COKE. There are many different brands of Coke, but they’s a Coke.
Yeah, like a Pepsi Coke.
That’s a southern thing. It’s either pop or soda above the Mason- Dixon.
I’m from Ohio, born and raised, and I dissent. A vacuum sucks and a sweeper, maybe a broom, pushes.
They were Boardman, outside Youngstown. Perhaps is a regional thingamabob?
Maybe. SW Ohio is practically a different state compared to the rest of Ohio. Kentucky but redneck instead of hillbilly.
Western Pennsyltucky here. We said sweeper and pop.
.
Given how well this franchise handled RGIII, I’m sure they’ll be prudent with Robinson
/hand falls off from intensity of dismissive wanking motion
Don’t forget Cousinfuckers-Rapey U on FS1!
So many choices! We’re approaching the sweet spot in the sportsworld sked.
/I’d argue that it’s in November this year with college basketball and the World Cup coming on board
Hey, yinz have an early lead! Make it hold, unlike them disappoint Fightin’ BugEyedBoos last nite.