Not gonna lie, I’m pumped to watch the Sens play tonight-the talent on the top six has increased immensely and the same as well for the top four defensemen. Jake Sanderson gets robbed for Rookie of the Year-you heard it here first.
Newsy Notes:
-Oh, Wee Danny Boy apparently has ‘dirt’ on all the NFL owners. Well, there’s different kinds of dirt and I think that the rest of the owners will use theirs to bury Snyder’s corpse if it comes to that.
-Skylar Thompson, that afterthought of a draft pick (I mean, you pick him and don’t give him much thought because you don’t expect to use him at all) gets the start for the Fins this week because the league wants to backwardly correct the shitty situations involving Tua and Teddy, the Concussion Twins.
-The Bills have weathered the injury storm that had them down several key guys. Starters that returned to practice this week included wr McKenzie, lb Edmunds, te Knox, dt Oliver, dt Phillips and safety Poyer. Also, there was a Tra’Davius White sighting as well.
To The Game!
Commies/Bears:
-Welp, the over/under of 37.5 gives you an idea of what Vegas thinks of this ‘game’ between two bad offenses and two bad defenses.
-Carson Wentz, the central reason why everything has gone wrong, according to his coach, runs hot and cold for sure. (I mean, damn, why would Rivera say that and then do the obligatory back-pedaling?) He’s posted three games of 21+ fantasy points and two games of less than 9. It might have to do with the success of the deep ball that he likes to throw.
-He’s second in the league in deep balls thrown and is 4th-best in effectiveness on those throws.
-Dyami Brown was the main beneficiary last week (can you hear the stampede of fantasy fellas running to the waiver wire?) He did that on only 16 routes run so I think he got lucky.
-Speaking of, Scary Terry is scoreless since week 1.
-Perhaps put the brakes on rb Brian Robinson, the kid is playing his second game in five days since being shot.
Go Sens!
lol these receivers cannot ever get separation
Prevent defence only prevents the team using it from winning
SHANK’ALOR SAYS NOT TONIGHT
This is technically a game.
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
I bet there is going to be a bidding war for QBs this upcoming off season. Even Danny Dimes will command high value.
It’s funny that Washington is so bad that even though they have a five point lead, the ball, and there’s only two minutes left they still give the Bears a 5% chance of winning.
Lol! Not Lol, you are wrong. Just lol, because it’s true and probably more than 5%.
How have I never heard of this?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/local/longterm/library/cooke/marl93.htm
I’m sure the analytics guys say go for it on 4th down, but we all know the Bears are not going to convert any third down, much less a 4th.
The Bears getting a delay of game penalty on 4th and 11 is the real life equivalent of someone being broke and responding to a $20 bet with “why not make it $100?”
(and yes I’m thinking of the opening of Baseketball)
Are you poor, a coward, or a poor coward? $200 now.
Lil’ Duke WCS is 1-0 in his long and painful lifetime of inevitable crippling WVU fandom.
Wait, what ? Did you have the baby? Well, not you, but the other Fucking Lady?
Kaep calling his lawyers up after this game to see if he can reopen his case
he would die behind this bears line. none of the receivers would be open nor catch
Gemma from Ninja Scroll would die behind this line.
/he is a character who mastered a technique that makes it so he cannot die.
Fields is in danger of never walking again.
if not for this solid run game, hed be dead already
I hope this doesn’t sound harsh, but I would like to see every person in all these commercials sent to a death camp.
If it’s a commercial for Dodger baseball, I am all in.
I misread that as “deaf camp” and thought I should book the Dr. Mrs. a week there so she could vacuum to her heart’s content and not bother anybody.
good that the bears keep remembering their tank late in games, but fields isnt surviving this season
I hear Chad Powers is available to sign.
Why go for 2? 3 points is an insurmountable lead on the Bears.
43-40 FINAL COUSINFUCKERS
The Bearistocrats!
It is known.
The Bearistocrats!
Goddammit.
You’re down in the 4th quarter, and you won’t go for it on 4th and 1 near midfield?
Whatever happened to Riverboat Ron?
That was the saddest “let’s try and draw them offsides” attempt I’ve ever seen.
Oh the body language in that banner photo. That fat schlub cannot have possibly brought that woman to orgasm for the last twenty years.
She could have a tree cutting fetish?
somebody has been but it aint him
Bought her yes. Orgasm no.
She’ll come on inheritance day!
Hope there’s another punt soon. They’re great!
Most important thing was to keep the ball in the middle of the field. So what do the Cousinfuckers do??
Another lawsuit filed against TheShawn.
Hope these keep trickling in for another two years.
Goodell as the principal in Breakfast Club.
“You get another, you want another detention TheShawn?”
“Fine, another. Your ass is mine”
“You mess with the Gingerhammer, you get the blunt injury trauma!
I mean, more than you already do as a player in this league, ha ha.”
Just got unbusy. At least I didn’t miss anything.
Yeah am going to lay down early and listen to a podcast.
Am a monster but even I don’t deserve the punishment of having to watch this game.
Later Gators.
“DFO’s Biggest Monster” would be another fun contest.
I once had the opportunity to shit talk the notre dame basketball team, and I didn’t take it
MONSTER
COWARD
COUSINFUCKERS TAKE THE LEAD
A TOUCHDOWN!!!
TOUCH!!!
DOWN!!!
TOUCHDOWN!!!
TD? Penalty? Dead QB?
And a made XP!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?
Hey, a Double Field Goal!
Spain just won the 2166 World Cup, in case y’all was wonderin
Did they beat Rand McNally?
Belgium!
On the bright side, if this keeps up, one of us will be able to get the rights to Thursday Night Football if they buy the right Amazon Mystery Box.
Not optimal, Cousinfuckers.
Plan B?
[frowns] – Philip Rivers
Just got back from getting kicked in the balls, what I miss?
Getting kicked in the eyes
He probably bet the under so hes happy
Look, Al used to have teeth!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? Because that’s what it’s gonna take to get a TD in this game.
Let’s hope the second half is more effervescent than what must surely be coming out of Mr. BugEyedBoo at this point.
Next time I’ll mix that propylene glycol crap with club soda. No beating that effervescence!
Who’s approving stuff around here? Are they high?
Half asleep from watching this game?
I mean, probably, yeah.
I just watched the season finale of She-Hulk instead of this game. You should be proud (of your particular work).
Cousinfuckers block a Rapey U PAT and return it for… a think a safety in JV rules?
The scoreboard operator had no idea too! But yes, that’s an Orlovsky on the board.
TNF is fighting for lesser footy tags
I would like to apologize to Denver and Indianapolis for denigrating their footballing.
Look, at least Chi**** got inside the redzone tonite. Twice.
Strawberry Fields fully plowed
his Hail Mary was better than expected, maybe that needs to be done more often
TNF rivaling the Metaverse for good billionaire investments
a wild illegal failed purchase of twitter appears!
I just want to see how fucked up Strawberry Fields throws a Hail Mary
Here’s my typical dinner: fistfuls of Tramadol, Oxycodone, and Nutty Buddies. Little Debbie approves.
Would snort 3/pi