Your Thursday Night NFL Football (and maybe a bit of hockey?) Open Thread

Not gonna lie, I’m pumped to watch the Sens play tonight-the talent on the top six has increased immensely and the same as well for the top four defensemen. Jake Sanderson gets robbed for Rookie of the Year-you heard it here first.

Newsy Notes:

-Oh, Wee Danny Boy apparently has ‘dirt’ on all the NFL owners. Well, there’s different kinds of dirt and I think that the rest of the owners will use theirs to bury Snyder’s corpse if it comes to that.

-Skylar Thompson, that afterthought of a draft pick (I mean, you pick him and don’t give him much thought because you don’t expect to use him at all) gets the start for the Fins this week because the league wants to backwardly correct the shitty situations involving Tua and Teddy, the Concussion Twins.

-The Bills have weathered the injury storm that had them down several key guys. Starters that returned to practice this week included wr McKenzie, lb Edmunds, te Knox, dt Oliver, dt Phillips and safety Poyer. Also, there was a Tra’Davius White sighting as well.

To The Game!

Commies/Bears:

-Welp, the over/under of 37.5 gives you an idea of what Vegas thinks of this ‘game’ between two bad offenses and two bad defenses.

-Carson Wentz, the central reason why everything has gone wrong, according to his coach, runs hot and cold for sure. (I mean, damn, why would Rivera say that and then do the obligatory back-pedaling?) He’s posted three games of 21+ fantasy points and two games of less than 9. It might have to do with the success of the deep ball that he likes to throw.

-He’s second in the league in deep balls thrown and is 4th-best in effectiveness on those throws.

-Dyami Brown was the main beneficiary last week (can you hear the stampede of fantasy fellas running to the waiver wire?) He did that on only 16 routes run so I think he got lucky.

-Speaking of, Scary Terry is scoreless since week 1.

-Perhaps put the brakes on rb Brian Robinson, the kid is playing his second game in five days since being shot.

Go Sens!

 

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fleshwound_NPG

lol these receivers cannot ever get separation

Game Time Decision

Prevent defence only prevents the team using it from winning

Game Time Decision

SHANK’ALOR SAYS NOT TONIGHT

JustStopDude

This is technically a game.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

TheRevanchist

I bet there is going to be a bidding war for QBs this upcoming off season. Even Danny Dimes will command high value.

Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s funny that Washington is so bad that even though they have a five point lead, the ball, and there’s only two minutes left they still give the Bears a 5% chance of winning.

TheRevanchist

Lol! Not Lol, you are wrong. Just lol, because it’s true and probably more than 5%.

Mr. Ayo
TheRevanchist

I’m sure the analytics guys say go for it on 4th down, but we all know the Bears are not going to convert any third down, much less a 4th.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Bears getting a delay of game penalty on 4th and 11 is the real life equivalent of someone being broke and responding to a $20 bet with “why not make it $100?”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(and yes I’m thinking of the opening of Baseketball)

Mr. Ayo

Are you poor, a coward, or a poor coward? $200 now.

WCS

Lil’ Duke WCS is 1-0 in his long and painful lifetime of inevitable crippling WVU fandom.

Gumbygirl

Wait, what ? Did you have the baby? Well, not you, but the other Fucking Lady?

Gatoraids

Kaep calling his lawyers up after this game to see if he can reopen his case

fleshwound_NPG

he would die behind this bears line. none of the receivers would be open nor catch

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gemma from Ninja Scroll would die behind this line.

/he is a character who mastered a technique that makes it so he cannot die.

Mr. Ayo

Fields is in danger of never walking again.

fleshwound_NPG

if not for this solid run game, hed be dead already

Brick Meathook

I hope this doesn’t sound harsh, but I would like to see every person in all these commercials sent to a death camp.

TheRevanchist

If it’s a commercial for Dodger baseball, I am all in.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I misread that as “deaf camp” and thought I should book the Dr. Mrs. a week there so she could vacuum to her heart’s content and not bother anybody.

fleshwound_NPG

good that the bears keep remembering their tank late in games, but fields isnt surviving this season

TheRevanchist

I hear Chad Powers is available to sign.

TheRevanchist

Why go for 2? 3 points is an insurmountable lead on the Bears.

WCS

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43-40 FINAL COUSINFUCKERS

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Bearistocrats!

Mr. Ayo

It is known.

Mr. Ayo

The Bearistocrats!

Col. Duke LaCross

Goddammit.

Dunstan

You’re down in the 4th quarter, and you won’t go for it on 4th and 1 near midfield?

Whatever happened to Riverboat Ron?

Col. Duke LaCross

That was the saddest “let’s try and draw them offsides” attempt I’ve ever seen.

Fronkenshteen

Oh the body language in that banner photo. That fat schlub cannot have possibly brought that woman to orgasm for the last twenty years.

Gatoraids

She could have a tree cutting fetish?

fleshwound_NPG

somebody has been but it aint him

2Pack

Bought her yes. Orgasm no.

Last edited 2 years ago by 2Pack
King Hippo

She’ll come on inheritance day!

Brick Meathook

Hope there’s another punt soon. They’re great!

King Hippo

Most important thing was to keep the ball in the middle of the field. So what do the Cousinfuckers do??

Mr. Ayo

Another lawsuit filed against TheShawn.

Hope these keep trickling in for another two years.

litre_cola

Goodell as the principal in Breakfast Club.

“You get another, you want another detention TheShawn?”

“Fine, another. Your ass is mine”

Dunstan

“You mess with the Gingerhammer, you get the blunt injury trauma!

I mean, more than you already do as a player in this league, ha ha.”

TheRevanchist

Just got unbusy. At least I didn’t miss anything.

Spur

Yeah am going to lay down early and listen to a podcast.
Am a monster but even I don’t deserve the punishment of having to watch this game.
Later Gators.

King Hippo

“DFO’s Biggest Monster” would be another fun contest.

Brocky

I once had the opportunity to shit talk the notre dame basketball team, and I didn’t take it

King Hippo

MONSTER

Mr. Ayo

COWARD

Brocky

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WCS

COUSINFUCKERS TAKE THE LEAD

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fleshwound_NPG

A TOUCHDOWN!!!

TOUCH!!!

DOWN!!!

TOUCHDOWN!!!

Dunstan

TD? Penalty? Dead QB?

Mr. Ayo

And a made XP!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?

Redshirt

Hey, a Double Field Goal!

King Hippo

Spain just won the 2166 World Cup, in case y’all was wonderin

litre_cola

Did they beat Rand McNally?

King Hippo

Belgium!

Redshirt

On the bright side, if this keeps up, one of us will be able to get the rights to Thursday Night Football if they buy the right Amazon Mystery Box.

WCS

Not optimal, Cousinfuckers.

Mr. Ayo

Plan B?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[frowns] – Philip Rivers

Spur

Just got back from getting kicked in the balls, what I miss?

Mr. Ayo

Getting kicked in the eyes

Don T

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Gatoraids

He probably bet the under so hes happy

Gumbygirl

Look, Al used to have teeth!

Dunstan

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? Because that’s what it’s gonna take to get a TD in this game.

Brocky

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Fronkenshteen

Let’s hope the second half is more effervescent than what must surely be coming out of Mr. BugEyedBoo at this point.

BugEyedBoo

Next time I’ll mix that propylene glycol crap with club soda. No beating that effervescence!

Brick Meathook

Who’s approving stuff around here? Are they high?

ballsofsteelandfury

Half asleep from watching this game?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean, probably, yeah.

I just watched the season finale of She-Hulk instead of this game. You should be proud (of your particular work).

WCS

Cousinfuckers block a Rapey U PAT and return it for… a think a safety in JV rules?

Mr. Ayo

The scoreboard operator had no idea too! But yes, that’s an Orlovsky on the board.

Don T

TNF is fighting for lesser footy tags

Brocky

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SonOfSpam

I would like to apologize to Denver and Indianapolis for denigrating their footballing.

Mr. Ayo

Look, at least Chi**** got inside the redzone tonite. Twice.

Mr. Ayo

Strawberry Fields fully plowed

King Hippo

his Hail Mary was better than expected, maybe that needs to be done more often

Gatoraids

TNF rivaling the Metaverse for good billionaire investments

fleshwound_NPG

a wild illegal failed purchase of twitter appears!

King Hippo

I just want to see how fucked up Strawberry Fields throws a Hail Mary

Brick Meathook

Here’s my typical dinner: fistfuls of Tramadol, Oxycodone, and Nutty Buddies. Little Debbie approves.

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Don T

Would snort 3/pi