Hello and welcome back, those of you that enjoy the footballing. The Shield has provided some (not all) tasty treats for you to consume. (and please try to buy a car, a phone or some insurance today, to help out the wee corporations that spend their precious dollars advertising during these affairs)

To The Games!

Niners/Falcons:

So glad I didn’t reach for Pitts. I’m sure he’ll put it together soon-there’s too much talent there-but so far he has no TD’s and a mere 150 catching yards. San Franny might be in a bit of a pickle given that they could be without as many as 6 defensive starters today. Didn’t the same thing happen to them just last year?

Pats/Browns:

Two run-happy teams face off and the winner gets to .500! Due to the Harris injury it’ll be The Rhamondre Show Today, co-starring Bailey Zappe. (does anyone else wish that his name rhymed with frappe?)

Jets/Packers:

I doubt NY can win here but they’ve got a chance if they can get out of the first half only down a score. You see, they are the 3rd-highest scoring team in the AFC in the 2nd half behind only the Bills and Chiefs. The Packers have scored 7 points or less in 4 of 5 games after intermission so far.

Jags/Colts:

Say hello to Indy’s #1 ball carrier Deon Jackson, a lovely streamer during a bye week. Though the Colts just can’t seem to win in Jacktown, they are 8-2 vs them at home since 2012.

Vikings/Fins:

Tua is good to go but the starter this week is Skylar The Late Rounder. Have at him Minny. Actually, knowing McDaniels, he’s likely put in a nice package of manageable passing plays combined with a shit-ton of running stuff featuring everyone from Edmonds to the assistant ball boy.

Bengals/Saints:

Higgins is a game-timer and I hope for Chase’s sake he plays otherwise the latter will be quadruple-teamed or somesuch. Speaking of, the Saints will be very thin at wr today so you’ll likely see a heavy dollop of Kamara and Taysom again.

Ravens/Giants:

Well, the good news is that Giants DC knows Lamar’s tendencies about as well as anyone but the bad side is that the Giants give up a lot of yards after contact, being 4th-worst in the league. Did you know that Lamar hasn’t lost to an NFC team yet? Here’s hoping NY puts a dent in that 12-0 record.

Bucs/Steelers:

It looks as though Pitt’s safeties will be able to make it but the corner situation is quite dire. This is the kind of break that Brady enjoys, not like that other recent one.

Enjoy.