As our more astute readers will recall, we brought the Mock Drafts back in-season for the sole purpose of drafting things that we would change from the games on Sunday, as well as the previous Thursday and Monday. It was such a hit that we got literally…several comments.
Like Ryan Shazier, I’m not sure this topic has the legs to go the distance we’re looking for here.
Anyway, I was so excited by the results that I immediately forgot about the return of the draft and right now you’d be still be looking at the (much better) Hippo Thoughts that would still be front and center had our own Rikki Tikki Deadly not sent me a message suggesting this week’s topic be Halloween Candy. This means one of two things: a). Rikki reads about as well as Lea Michele, (that sort of rhymes, which is something Lea would never notice), and doesn’t even know what the rules were supposed to be; or b). Rikki is a hard-bitten veteran who plays by his own rules and doesn’t care about your restrictions, man, they’re just holding him back and…oops, he got shot and killed just as he was about to crack his final case before retiring. Bummer. Sure hope his rookie sidekick with the deep-seated psychological issues, (but heart of gold), can crack the case and avenge him!
Anyway, RTD saved today’s draft, so Halloween candy it is. Since Halloween is something of a grab bag, you can make two picks each time: one candy, one change from the week before.
I’d give Rikki the first pick, but I’m so late getting to this that he has his notifications turned off, which means the Kit Kats are all mine.
As for what I would change I would have Breece Hall’s ACL hang in for at least another week, because losing him clearly affected the Jets and any chance they had to keep the P*ts sliding. And I very much want the P*ts to keep sliding.
Yours in the comments, and as you reach into the bag for your picks please remember that if you touch it, you own it.
3. Rainbow Fentanyl. Thanks so much Fox News for legitimizing my pick!
I got here late so my mainstays are gone. So, I’ll take Hi-Chews (namely the soda pack, cola/Ramune; and watermelon), and Hoodie stealing Zach Wilson’s cougar leading him to ball out.
Can’t say enough about Dracula A.D. 1972, starring Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Stephanie Beacham’s breasts.
/edited to add-The bad guys were hippies!
I watched that too! I saw it in the theater in 1972. I love Christopher Lee as Dracula, and Peter Cushing.
Flu shot on board. Half Immortal now. Covid shot hopefully next week
THIS GUY GAME TIME DECISION I CALL HIM BLADE BECAUSE HE IS HALF-IMMORTAL BUT HE DOESN’T SUCK.
Keto Flu. Evolving into fat eradicating machine but currently open to Death’s Sweet Release.
See also: Bengals fandom in general
I object! Name one food in Cincinnatian cuisine that is healthy!
2. Whatchamacallit. Again, this is something I would only ever taste on Halloween. For the second part of my pick, instead of Carolina’s kicker missing the 48 yard extra point, I’ll have it blocked and returned for a two-point conversion. That way the loss would be more of a direct result of the removed helmet penalty, which would make it funnier.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md_uz1dKMTM&ab_channel=tjudge5
100 Grand bars. YUM.
After completing his troika (pass, catch, run for TD), Tomsulas allow CMC to kick the extra point.
Was that the bar that had rice crisps in it?
Inshallah, homey
I’ll take a Crunchie and not having to see Wilson’s dumbass prayer circle on the field at the end of the game.
well gee, I enjoyed seeing how they allowed Brett Rypien into the Black Jesus fold!
Man, the Blair Witch is working overtime today, which I guess is fitting given that it’s Halloween.
I love me some Snickers for Halloween goodies
Peanut M&Ms and let me think…
Vikings won, while Chicago, Green Bay and Detroit lost…
More gratuitous violence on the Packers asshole quarterback!
(Edited because I somehow missed Don T.’s literal first comment)
Those little bags of Peanut M&Ms.
Also I’ll take Trevon Diggs actually making that one-handed interception against the Bears. Not because it would have changed the game, but because it would have been cool.
Any regular size candy bar, and good luck.
Ravens got Roquan Smith from the Bears…unlike the new Tesla, it’s a nice pickup.
Considering Smith was in tears when the Bears traded Quinn it’s hardly surprising they also traded him.
Milky Way and at least 6 touchdowns to go with whogivesafuckhowmany field goals on TNF.
Make that a Snickers, apologies to Lemonjello for undercutting his pick.
Tootsie rolls and Russ falling down a flight of stairs in public. Pre- or post-game. I don’t care about the football ramifications. Just a nice stumble going up causing a face-down slide turning into a rolling tumble to the bottom.
Milky Way and my Jaguras beating the tar shit out of Hippo’s DonksWoo!
Big Turk and a meteor hitting the next Tampa Bay-New England game.
Butterfinger, and the Steelers firing Canada on the field. Into the sun.
1. Almond Joy and the Raiders simply forfeiting rather than expend all that energy embarrassing themselves and whichever hapless network executive chose to show that dud of a game to such a large portion of the USA.
I imagine the conversation went like this.
TV Exec: “Hello?”
MD: “HI I’M MARK DAVIS!”
TV Exec: “Are you sure, sir? This game?”
MD: “HI! I’M. MARK. DAVIS.”
TV Exec: “Understood, sir. As you command.”
MD: “OK. BYE BYE!”
To expand on my pick a little bit; I always loved coconut, but when I was young I didn’t have a sophisticated enough palate to appreciate Mounds. And I would never buy Almond Joy on my own (I’d go for a Skor bar or Snickers) so Halloween is the only time I would get these.
When the little ‘Jellos came back from their looting of the neighborhood, I’d take those “yucky coconut ones” from them as part of their obligation to the lord and lady of Fortress LemonJello.
Wunderbar and need Mixon to get less than 8 yards tonight
Twix and the Bears winning, i guess, though i don’t see how a change other than the cowboys get locked inside the tunnel would have helped with that
Reese’s PB cups, wishcasting Malik Willis into competence by starting him in FF.