Your First Slate of NFL Football Games Open Thread

And a wee bit of soccer, no doubt.

To The Games!

Chargers/Falcons:

ATL has been surprising, ranking 5th in rushing (mostly without Cordarelle) and 29th in passing. When they do go long they turn to Damiere Byrd, of all people, who has racked up 142 yards and a couple of TD’s the last two weeks. Tight end Pitts has finally started to break loose from the binds of this offence, totaling 80 yards and a score last week.

Fins/Bears:

Hill and Waddle are 1st and 4th respectively in receiving and should do well vs the Bears corners. A win would make Miami 6-3 for only the second time since 2001. Tua has only lost one game against an NFC opponent.

Panthers/Bengals:

A Big Cat fight! Also, there’s a footballer by the name of Walker that isn’t a national embarrassment! P.J. beat Brady two weeks ago and did his part by getting D.J. Moore into the end zone but then the latter did a stupid thing and, oh well…

Packers/Lions:

Many thought there would be a timeshare in Green Bay’s backfield and it did start out that way. However, Jones has begun to assert himself (5.8 ypc and 142 yards vs Buffalo) as Dillon’s usage has fallen off.

Raiders/Jags:

One of these reeling teams is getting to three wins on the season today. Unless a tie is in the offing, which would be lovely. Just don’t leave any skid marks on the field, okay?

Colts/Pats:

Indy could make life difficult for Mac Jones, who was laid out 6 times last week. The Colts have nine guys that have at least one sack and a ballhawk in Stephone Gilmore.

Bills/Jets:

Call me a whack job but I think the spread is too high in this tilt. Although the Bills are a rolling juggernaut Saleh (peace be with you) will have his team ready. They won’t win but they’ll be tough.

Vikings/Commies:

Minny’s going to 7-1? Minny’s going to 7-1. A very unassuming 7-1 though.

It’s all yours.

 

 

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Mr. Ayo

We can make Herbert an honorary Cousins because he’s also getting fucked.

Mr. Ayo

Nevermind, they reversed that one too.

This Ekeler, I call him a book because I’m now Lea Michele and can’t read him.

Recovery Whiskey

Bears just remembered they’re tanking this year

Redshirt

These Commanders may as well be at a West Virginia family reunion, because Cousins have them over a barrel.

yeah right

That’s my boy Harrison fucking Smith!

LemonJello

THIS GUY KIRK COUSINS, I CALL HIM A FILIPINO HOOKER BECAUSE HE’S GOT A NUMBAH ONE FUCKEE FOR THESE COMMANDERS.

Recovery Whiskey

Rudy Giuliani approves of all the Cousins fucking going on

Recovery Whiskey

THIS COMMANDERS DEFENSE I CALL THEM JERRY LEE LEWIS BECAUSE THEY KEEP FUCKING COUSINS

Recovery Whiskey

W’s kicking the crap out of Cousins

Don T

That Ekeler TD… Daym. Great piece of fitbaw AND lawyerball

Last edited 1 year ago by Don T
Gumbygirl

Circus catch by Ekeler taken away by the refs.

Gumbygirl

Oops never mind. Elbow was down.

2Pack

In for Rodgers…

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Mr. Ayo

Stupid Dirty Birds

Redshirt

Backup QB Battle in Cincinnati

Redshirt

Mixon just set Bengals TD Record with 5

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I chose to go to a bunch of distilleries today instead of paying attention to football. Judging by the score, did the Bears defense do that, too?

yeah right

You made the right choice.

Recovery Whiskey

Aren’t the Bears tanking for picks? They just traded away some defense

Visiting distilleries would involve sampling the product. Always the better choice. Free whiskeys > shitty football.

Though Fields is playing pretty well

Last edited 1 year ago by Recovery Whiskey
2Pack

I have been having a lot of trouble with staying logged in on the site lately. Just me? Any pro tips?

Senor Weaselo

Log in, then refresh. Seems to work for me.

2Pack

Thanks

Recovery Whiskey

Took me about 37 tries to convince it I was authenticated. Dump cookies and cache. The site has something going on with it. Seems to happen more on phone than desktop if thats any help.

2Pack

Thanks. I’m usually on the phone so that’s adding to it.

2Pack

They are succeeding.

Recovery Whiskey

DFO, to my browser

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Gumbygirl

This bathroom cleaner has completely destroyed what little is left of my lungs.

Recovery Whiskey

Who forgot to sign up for extended service on stadium sky cams in New Jersey

Redshirt

The Bengals wouldn’t give up a 35-0 lead! Ha, ha, ha. Right? Right?!

Redshirt

Dead Skycam in Buffalo/NYJ?

Recovery Whiskey

Too late to dunk on Rodgers?

yeah right

Never too late.

2Pack

I’m gonna switch from this game to Christmas music.

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Mr. Ayo

LioUns getting bailed out by Throw Rogan’s bad throws.

Col. Duke LaCross

Fields is the guy. Hey just gotta keep him alive!

Redshirt

Baker sighting in Cincy.

yeah right

The idiot fucking back judge ran directly into our cornerback and took him out of the play on a hail Mary bullshit throw.
How is that shithead in the middle of a pass play?

Last edited 1 year ago by yeah right
Redshirt

If you have Joe Mixon starting in Fantasy, you’re probably gonna have a good week.

King Hippo

can Vodka confirm!

Gumbygirl

Gumby has him. He’s happy.

LemonJello

They had to wave off the paratroopers at halftime due to unsafe wind conditions. Those hard bastsrds from the 82nd and 101st that jumped into Normandy would skull fuck those pansies.

Mr. Ayo

Holy shit Beatie!

Gatoraids

Yeah hes done enough for me this week I hope they just sit him in 2nd half at this point

Redshirt

XFLception 2.0

Redshirt
Redshirt

Expert Playcaller Zac Taylor trying to get Joe Burrow killed.

King Hippo

I mean, y’all are at home, too. EVERY play should be a handoff now.

King Hippo

3 score lead over the B;ack Panthers, maybe just hand off

King Hippo

Is Strawberry Fields no longer shite? Wha’ happen??

King Hippo

monkey’s paw curls

/I also wanted ThAndre Carter to catch it

2Pack

Breakfast at Dennys this morning was good after years of caffe and brioche. Watching the Packers in their natural habitat, Mom’s living room in Wauwatosa Wisconsin. Over 200 yards of offense and zero points. Meh…

yeah right

Welcome home!

2Pack

Good to be back. Short visit but after 5 years it’s been too long. Covid-19 for the last couple impacting. Flying into Chicago last night was sorta high adventure. 50 mph winds made the landing after an hour long holding pattern an interesting event. Then it took 45 minutes to get the skyway hooked up because the gusts kept blowing it off track.

2Pack

/huffs indignantly like a snob

Gumbygirl

When we came back from Scotland, I went to an American grocery store and got completely overwhelmed and freaked out. Too much stuff!

Last edited 1 year ago by Gumbygirl
2Pack

Yeah UK grocery stores are pretty dismal.

Redshirt

XFLception

King Hippo

yeah, PJ Harvey’s FITBAW boomlet is petering out. She can still rock, though.

Gumbygirl

These games- Atl/LAC and Jax/LV, are boring as fuck. I’m going to go clean the bathrooms. Way more exciting!

LemonJello

Seems like an excuse to huff amonia and bleach…

LemonJello

THIS COMMANDERS DEFENSE, I CALL THEM AN ALABAMA JUNIOR PROM BECAUSE THEY’RE TRYING TO FUCK COUSINS WITHOUT SUCCESS.

yeah right

Apart from the Owl this is the first time I’ve watched a game live meaning sitting through commercial spots. There are easily more commercials than game and until they fix that this product will never grow.

King Hippo

Is not a problem with RedZone, and I usually mute SNF

blaxabbath

This is how it grows.

Mr. Ayo

Throw Rogan has gone Rogue.

yeah right

After extensive research and quantum physics studies I’ve learned how to mirror phone to smart TV and I’m right now streaming the Vikings game on my TV. There is no ability to pause, fast forward and such so it’s mute button for me.

To which I now humbly say “FUCK YOU DIRECTV! FUCK YOU HARD!”

SKOL!

Spur

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