Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
What do you call a non-alcoholic drink
- Soda (33%, 10 Votes)
- pop (30%, 9 Votes)
- coke (10%, 3 Votes)
- wtf is non-alocholic (10%, 3 Votes)
- something else (10%, 3 Votes)
- soft drink (7%, 2 Votes)
- cola (0%, 0 Votes)
- fountain drink (0%, 0 Votes)
Total Voters: 30
Loading ...This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman [in bed].
Margaret Thatcher
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Re GB/Dallas
LaFleur at the end of the first half: “Watch my idiotic playcalling handicap my team’s decent playmakers!”
McCarthy at the end of the second half: “Hey, Matt, hold my beer”
Downfield Matriculator
From my Monday morning work avoidance readings:
OptaSTATS
@OptaSTATS
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The Chicago Bears are the first team in NFL history to score at least 29 points in three consecutive games and lose all three.
King Hippo
I wish every week we had at least one game that was as entertaining and crazy as the last few minutes of regular time in the Buffalo/ Minnesota game. Soooo good!
Gumbygirl
Sharkbait
Holy crap.
Redshirt
#69 on both teams are certainly having a night.
ThePirateSloth
I mean, that’s usually the result if you can get to that point.
Horatio Cornblower
Kinda rooting for the Washington Football Team just for the pure chaos, but it feels dirty, as though I’d sat in their stadium and been showered with sewage.
Horatio Cornblower
I’m hoping every win, every positive play, will make it that much more painful for He Who Shall Not Be Subpoenaed when he’s forced to sell the team
Doktor Zymm
“He Who Shall Not Be Subpoenaed” had me pause for a second, because it applies to so many damn people.
ThePirateSloth
Re: Pilate Sloth’s comment below
I’ve got the two dogs and they love getting petted/scratched/rubbed up when I come home at night. If my wife is within earshot this is how things go down.
Me: “Oh Molly, that’s how you like it, huh? You want me to scratch harder? You know you want me to. Oh, there’s the G spot. (when a dog lifts its leg to involuntarily scratch)
Me, again: “Ruby, ah that’s it right there. Do you want me to scratch slow or fast? Tell me you want me to scratch that sweet spot. Say it. That feels good, doesn’t it?”
Wife: “SHUT. UP.”
scotchnaut
I feel like “Lovesac” is an unfortunate name for a sofa.
Dunstan
But it is a little old place where we can get togetherrrr. Lovesac babeeee….
scotchnaut
Catching up on election results
Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm
Steve Young was the original black quarterback not because he ran a lot but would wear a dashiki around the practice facility
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
Kyrie Irving once told Daniel Snyder that 6 million Commanders fans seemed a ‘little high’
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
Logging into the site is a lot like life: you check the box that says “Remember Me” but you know someday you’ll be totally forgotten.
herodotus450
Well done GTD. Your data combing skills are quite notable.
2Pack
This [Wakezilla going to the World Cup] is clearly a shameless attempt to use a BOTG to prepare for extradition in case of a dangerous situation.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Redshirt
Parking lot beers are in the top 3 venues for beers.
litre_cola
Such disgusting abuse of sacred alcohol. You were right to punish said jackass in a way he wouldn’t soon forget.
King Hippo
No, no, you weren’t paying attention – they punished him in a way he wouldn’t remember.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Manners are what separate adult citizens from despicable homunculi. Hold doors, say please / thank you, let folks talk without interruptions, and most important.
For the love of GAWD, bring something if invited to someone’s home. A bottle, six-pack, appetizer, pastries, dessert, anything to ward off freeloadin’ vibes.
And NEVER decline jumpstarting someone’s car. This is even more important.
Don T
Total side note: I fostered a rescue cat two weeks ago, she has now gone thru the adoption system and is ready for her forever home. If you happen to live in or near Portland and you find yourself wanting or needing a cat, Comet is a very sweet girl who deserves to live a full happy life with someone.
https://adopt.adopets.com/pet/9518f134-5995-4496-8e87-899f26b7f229?tracking=8bbfcd50-0e75-401c-bd46-dd2adfa2f98c
ThePirateSloth
Thanks for doing these. I can honestly say that I try to watch more CFL because of these so I have a clue as to what’s going on.
While I cheer for the Argos, there’s no way they beat the Bombers.
Game Time Decision
I don’t know, if the Bombers qb is hurt, there’s a chance! I would just like to thank the Maestro for the work he puts in to the CFL posts, and to remind him that I beat him in this year’s pool. HahHahahahahaha,you are the biggest loser!!!!!
Gumbygirl
Don T
May I present: the DFO Commentariat Elite Squadron https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1IWGwTjkmxbUnmVKOKealu75doZRnDBO7?usp=sharing
I don’t remember my exact method of modeling everyone – I know it was based on your fandom for armor/weapon colors, I think I linked these and asked for preferred physical looks, gender, and first/last names.
ThePirateSloth
OK, sure, DFO is probably going to be the next twitter and there’ll be a huge influx of new people here. So let’s come up with a secret code phrase that only us cool kids will know so we can feel smug.
herodotus450
“Red Wings Suck Sewer Water Forever” would be a cool secret code phrase and it would always be relevant.
scotchnaut
If someone doesn’t know who The Matron Saint is, we kick them out.
ThePirateSloth
“On the one hand you have a plucky bunch of underdogs trying to prevail despite dealing with rising theocratic fascism at home, and on the other hand you have Iran.”
BeefReeferLives
Surveillance video captures two men stealing Bengals banner from Paycor Stadium (wlwt.com)
This wasn’t me. Also, if a cop shows up, please say I was with you last Tuesday night and not anywhere near Paycor Stadium. No reason, just say it.
Redshirt
You were here the whole time.
ballsofsteelandfury
What could’ve been…
Redshirt
Just like Belgian chocolate, the lesser footy team is going to melt in the heat.
Canada is going to beat them, baby!
Wooo!
Wakezilla
Tee hee!
Don T
I love that there’s a player named Bobo in this game.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Judas Priest is in the rock and roll hall of fame.
If I had a non drunk photographer I would take a picture of my 40 year old British Steel tattoo.
Which gives me a great idea about our tattoos and why. With photographic evidence of course.
yeah right
Gumby’s tatoo is the standard, first liberty after bootcamp. Tijuana especiale! Eagle on the right arm, circa 1979. He has no memory of getting it, he woke up with a bloody bandage on his arm, shaved head, in a hotel that was so bad he thought it was a jail cell.
Gumbygirl
Tonight is our 40th anniversary. I chose my mate wisely.
Gumbygirl
The UU on Utah’s helmet reminds me of my father’s description of the Unitarian Universalist Church: “They’re the kind of people who’d burn a question mark on your front lawn.”
We try to keep Dad away from the public.
Horatio Cornblower
I miss my Series A commentators, gone until early January. For some odd reason(s) they’re not welcome in Qutar.
2Pack
You’ve got to love Italian girls. There’s just something about them…
ballsofsteelandfury
I tried to love an Italian girl. I genuinely thought I was going to close the deal, too! No such luck, though.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
They are impervious to vasectomies. Trust me.
WCS
South Carolina fans storming the field after beating Tennessee seems a little weak. They’re not Georgia or Clemson or Alabama or Michigan or…wait, where was I going with this.
Horatio Cornblower
You were saying “…because you’re the only 10 I see.” Please, continue from there.
TheRevanchist
/finishes another beer
Me: “Hey. Hey. Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven I mean. Did it hurt? Because you’re the Angels, and they finished in fourth place and that’s why Ohtani didn’t deserve the MVP!”
My Wife: “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Horatio Cornblower
The Dwarf: “Yeah man you’re not making any sense.”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I love how The Dwarf has become canon.
ballsofsteelandfury
My word, I’ve seen starving children play football better than this Qatari side. Couldn’t we have recruited a more cromulent nation to participate? I don’t know that I’ve ever said this, but I miss our Italian-speaking Africa-colonizing colleagues!
Cecil Rhodes
Serious question: Do pools exist in Qatar? And, if so, are women expected to go into the water fully covered?
ballsofsteelandfury
Burkinis are a thing.
litre_cola
Pics or it didn’t happen.
ballsofsteelandfury
Well, I’ll be damned…
ballsofsteelandfury
“Check out the ankles on her!” — Qatari Hippo
Dunstan
Jesus, I made the mistake of taking a sip of freshly squeezed oranje juice, (squeezed by a manservant I obtained from Dutch New Guinea for just such an occasion), before reading “it will have been his 12th attempt on goal at that point in the match”
My computer screen barely escaped with its life. Outstanding work, chap.
Horatio Cornblower
I’m at a breakfast place I really like. Great coffee, excellent food, nice young service that isn’t here to show me how cool they are just keep the tables clean, and but for the winter crowd being out in force now, it’s usually easy for me to stay a while and not feel like I’m taking up valuable space (I’m the only one at the big communal table now — so stuck that 4-tops).
Anyways, I get my wrap and it’s clearly less voluminous than before and the salsa they give you is now in like a whipped butter sized container — not the larger old salsa cup they gave out.
I really wish they’d have just raised their prices (more). Or do you prefer to just get a smaller but basically the same order now?
blaxabbath
It’s about cost per weight. You’d have to compare the reduction in portion size at same cost to the cost increase to stay the same size.
But who the fuck eats out anymore?
ballsofsteelandfury
who the fuck eats out anymore?
“Some people never did.” — Ben Shapiro’s wife, sighing forlornly
Dunstan
And I do agree about the black [ from the Bye week Jets Post].
I think you need to win a title in your old uniforms before being allowed to move on to a new look.
That’s why the Cardinals look will linger around like the Confederacy for another 10 years until we bring out the cancel culture on the NFL finally.
blaxabbath
Rel
A
Gay
Tion
Game Time Decision
This comment just got arrested in Qatar.
Horatio Cornblower
It’s entirely possible we will have a World Cup game with more scoring than this NE-NYJ game.
Dunstan
For the first time in about 5 years, I am under 200 lbs!
Redshirt
I’m playing wedding #2 right now, and I gotta tell you, anyone who decides to have an outdoor wedding in (checks) 32 degree weather needs to be in The Hague, heated tent or not. My violin is going to hate this.
Senor Weaselo
WCS
Mark Davis cant afford to fire Josh McDaniel’s? Just take his salary and put it all on black.
Spur
Davis: “I put half on red and half on black. I can’t lose!”
Dealer: “The number is 00.”
Redshirt
Jellybeans and gin, hooray
Doktor Zymm
ballsofsteelandfury
The CFL Commissioner almost said “Winnipeg” when awarding the Cup, but caught himself and staggered to “the Winn…ing team, the Toronto Argonauts.”
Fucking beauty, eh?
Horatio Cornblower
That’s known as “a quick save and a beauty” in hawkey dialect.
WCS
FCC’s going to be sending a stern-worded letter to the Argos.
WCS
It’s legal in Canada, just don’t disparage hockey, Labatt’s or Molson, eh?
Horatio Cornblower
Fuck you shoresy
Game Time Decision
FOR WHAT!?
Horatio Cornblower
Ah yes, the great confounding question of humankind. For time eternal the greatest (and lesser) philosophers have grappled with this simple, yet existential, query. More recently this proposition was considered and debated in relation to turning down. Sadly, no conclusion was provided. Indeed, not even a theory of resolution was posited. Instead, Lil Jon, trapped in the quandary of an existential crisis took another tack. In lieu of an answer, the listener was instead presented the quandary to solve for themselves by repeatedly asking, For What? Perhaps, then, that was the answer, that there is no singular truth. Instead, the proper response is as independent as an individual from anyone else. Though that may offer a further truth that must be explored. Indeed, we can then explore the difference individual choices, then study those individuals for their traits, history, genetics to divine if those guide the answer. That the answer is the same as what molds a singular person. As humans, we must have the answers, but at what point must we stop and allow things to be as they are and silence our innate curiosity?
So we are once again left with another unanswerable question. But we must credit Lil Jon for at least pushing our thinking, understanding, and questioning on the matter further. Only through such progress can we succeed.
Mr. Ayo
Cris Collinsworth watching Mahomes and Herbert
clint greasewood
If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
I haven’t seen the French start this badly since 1940.
Oy oy oy!
SOCCEROOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Graham Arnold for sure bought that suit at the Aussie equivalent of Target.
/inseam? What the hell is an inseam? Just put it in me bag so I can go.
HOW ON EARTH is Hippo the only “Coke” voter? Y’all is some Yankified Motherfuckers, ah tell yew wut
No Coke, Pepsi. Cheeborgie, Cheeborgie, Cheeborgie, Chips
— Ghost of John Belushi
The coach of the Aussies definitely comes from the Jim Tomsula coaching tree.
Scouting out your weekend’s activities?
Beckie from the Canadia women’s team is doing the pre-game stuff. She’s just good at everything. [sighs]
WHERE IS KAYLYN??
Ya Gotta up your stalking game, bro!
srsly!!!
Song of the Pop-Bottlers
by Morris Gilbert Bishop
Pop bottles pop-bottles
In pop shops;
The pop-bottles Pop bottles
Poor Pop drops.
When Pop drops pop-bottles,
Pop-bottles plop!
Pop-bottle-tops topple!
Pop mops slop!
Stop! Pop’ll drop bottle!
Stop, Pop, stop!
When Pop bottles pop-bottles,
Pop-bottles pop!
My son loved that poem when he was little
The remix “Nanobubbles” was cooking in the kitchen with Russ before the grease fire destroyed it.
To celebrate the Saudis’ victory, I’m having churrasco. It came out overcooked, like ARG’s expectations, and dry like the Arabs’ powder.
Wine for scenery.
Your Brussels sprouts look fab!
roasted Brussel Sprouts are awesome
I saw just a minute of the MNF game last night when SF scored in the 3rd to put the game out of reach. Local sports #contentcreators have done an overnight pivot on the Cardinals. Now they sound like…. they sounded in January when ARI got blown out of the WC round.
Nice to see things are back to normal.
I hope Man U can somehow carry on without having to carry Ronaldo’s enormous salary and absolutely dead ass. Gonna be tough, but I bet they find a silver lining or two.
MLS Bound?
His ego would never allow it. Been a while but the last rumor I saw was him heading back to one of the Portuguese clubs. Return of the conquering hero and all that.
He’ll probably go to China for billions, assuming that league is still a thing.
Listen here World Cup, you little shit. I didn’t wake up at 5am to NOT see goals. Get your shit together or I sleep in tomorrow.
I suspect that the French will get that done versus the Socceroos.
I mean, it was an empty threat as I’m not passing up any chance to start drinking at 5am.
The universe knows this.
“I don’t measure my strikers by their ability to score goals….”
Well then you’re doing it wrong.
That is why I will continue to shit on Cobi Jones for the rest of my natural life.
Well, he did play in Germany.
Fuckin’ piece of shit MTV darling. Fucking showpiece of the US team in the 1998 World Cup and led them to all of ZERO fucking goals and absolute last place in the tournament.
Hmmm, that’s good hate.
It warms my soul on this frigid (checks thermometer) 67° day.
Have you listened to this podcast? https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/american-fiasco/podcasts/2
The crowd is upset and the Kielbasa sausages are raining down on Lewandowski!
A large man in a red coat appears to have stormed the field…
To log in lately I have had to use a tag link to an older thread, then advance threads using the links at the end of the content, before the comments. We need to pool some money to pay a nerd to tighten us up here. HTF do you “refresh” on a phone? I have fallen and I can’t get up.
in the menu for the browser, there should be an icon with a circle with an arrow on it.
I’ve got Android but imaginee that iOS is the same with the refresh, and in the browser there’s a refresh. It might be in the 3 dots menu
Thank you Sir
I have had to do that before. Here’s my very technical trick: After I log in, I go back to the Door Flies Open page, pick the post I want, and then swipe down from the top. My icon usually appears. If it doesn’t, I swear like a fucking lady, and keep trying until it works. I hope that wasn’t too much nerdish verbiage!
That’s great hustle!
I’ve had to clear the browser thing recently.
Sometimes turning the phone off does that for me. But the frustrating thing is sometimes it doesn’t.
Sigh…
Mama Mia!
I need that glengoolie blue glencairn glass
The correct answers are “pop”, “coke” or “soda”. If you’re at a restaurant, you can say “fountain drink” to differentiate from coffee or other specialty made drinks behind the counter.
For further details, please refer to my blog “Weird Ass Crap That Only I Do”.
It’s “I’ll have a Coke, and no, Pepsi is most definitely not OK”
RC Cola acceptable in BBQ joints, and only in BBQ joints.
HC: I’ll have a coke.
Wait staff: What kind of coke?
HC: Coke
This has always made me laugh
RC Cola is the “red-headed stepchild that never moved out of the house” of sugary beverages.
When I was drinking the high-test POP, it was always coke. When I switched to diet POP, it was Diet Pepsi. Diet Coke always tasted like soap to me. I finally kicked the habit, so now POP is iced tea, no sweetener, a little lemon if I’m feeling frisky.
If your choice is not present, let me know and I’ll add it to the list.
Or just explain what you call it. I’m just curious.
Only “fountain drink”, but I use that when I’m at a restaurant with a self-serving fountain machine.
Clint Greasewood’s was perfection itself. Outstanding work!
It’s so good.