Guttersnipe

In these, the dog days of the bowling season, there isn’t much excitement floating around the lanes. Just wet feet and spilt beer mixed with fried dough and the pungent tang of one old lady’s A535. At least I hope that’s what’s emitting such a stench.

To keep the mind limber and the fingers stretched, I did mister Hright’s French bread the other day and it worked out better than I could have hoped. And I hoped the hell out of that loaf.

I’ve also done some experimentation on the lanes. My standard method was a big backswing/rip the ball down the lane at top speed in an attempt to obliterate the pins in search of a strike. Picking up on some of the fellow rollers’ success I tried a bit of a hook last week. Maybe “hook” is a bit generous. More of a gentle curve. Enough to get the job done and not so severe as to frighten the womenfolk, ya dig?

It was quite the adjustment and while I managed a pathetic score of 98 in the first game, it improved to 108 in the middle and 135 in the third. No great guns – worse than my average of 130 – but I think it’ll be more consistent in the long run once I’ve got it honed and repeatable.

The team we played had one very good bowler and a sub with about 5 balls in his sack. We were looking forward to going home red-assed and humble but thankfully we got lucky with their sub not having a handicap yet so he only got his straight score. And he was trying to set a low handicap and wasn’t even really trying. Based on the variety of balls he had with him he was sandbagging like a minor hockey team in a flood.

Their top man came out with a 213 in the first game. Rolling smooth. Like buttered silk coming out of his hand, it was something else. He did cool off later on and we squeaked by with a three set win by margins of 36, 23, and an even 100. Thank the good lord for gaming the system.

Despite our win we dropped to 6th place in the overall standings. We are now up to being second-worst in straight scores through so that’s something to put in the Christmas card. Now – my apologies for the harried garbage recap but I’ve left this to the last minute while helping a buddy move a bar into his basement and I need to get to goddamn league night. Hoping something a little more interesting than a bad bowler bowling a tiny curve happens before next Tuesday.