In these, the dog days of the bowling season, there isn’t much excitement floating around the lanes. Just wet feet and spilt beer mixed with fried dough and the pungent tang of one old lady’s A535. At least I hope that’s what’s emitting such a stench.
To keep the mind limber and the fingers stretched, I did mister Hright’s French bread the other day and it worked out better than I could have hoped. And I hoped the hell out of that loaf.
I’ve also done some experimentation on the lanes. My standard method was a big backswing/rip the ball down the lane at top speed in an attempt to obliterate the pins in search of a strike. Picking up on some of the fellow rollers’ success I tried a bit of a hook last week. Maybe “hook” is a bit generous. More of a gentle curve. Enough to get the job done and not so severe as to frighten the womenfolk, ya dig?
It was quite the adjustment and while I managed a pathetic score of 98 in the first game, it improved to 108 in the middle and 135 in the third. No great guns – worse than my average of 130 – but I think it’ll be more consistent in the long run once I’ve got it honed and repeatable.
The team we played had one very good bowler and a sub with about 5 balls in his sack. We were looking forward to going home red-assed and humble but thankfully we got lucky with their sub not having a handicap yet so he only got his straight score. And he was trying to set a low handicap and wasn’t even really trying. Based on the variety of balls he had with him he was sandbagging like a minor hockey team in a flood.
Their top man came out with a 213 in the first game. Rolling smooth. Like buttered silk coming out of his hand, it was something else. He did cool off later on and we squeaked by with a three set win by margins of 36, 23, and an even 100. Thank the good lord for gaming the system.
Despite our win we dropped to 6th place in the overall standings. We are now up to being second-worst in straight scores through so that’s something to put in the Christmas card. Now – my apologies for the harried garbage recap but I’ve left this to the last minute while helping a buddy move a bar into his basement and I need to get to goddamn league night. Hoping something a little more interesting than a bad bowler bowling a tiny curve happens before next Tuesday.
Its thundering outside. Either that or the heavens are celebrating Warnock winning.
French bread is almost ready.
Oh my!
Fox News, too.
Laura Ingraham looks and sounds broke.
.
CNN called for Warnock.
I thought that network changed their name to Fox Lite.
After trying to tie out labor postings from corporate, who managed to get it 90% right, I got a call from the wife. The high school went on lockdown. I ran out of work to see if my daughter was okay. I had heard something about a hostage situation, but no confirmation. As a parent, that shit is scary. She had stayed after school to do some things, but was locked down in the library. I don’t have the whole story yet, as my sister picked her up before I could get there. Will hear that story in a few.
While driving, a kitten ran out into the road and it was kind of the my breaking point today when I heard that awful thud.
Just saying that you should probably hug you kittens today and probably your children, too.
Hang in there, man. Much love and support yinz way.
Wow, that’s a bad day. But thank all the gods and dogs your daughter is safe!
Woozle wuzzle.
Georgia lycanthropes punching air right now.
“Yes, because projections are never wrong!” – A. Gore, TN
/fart noise
[sniffs] that wasn’t just noise
That would be the smartest thing to come out of the Herschel camp this year.
(Warnock gonna win)
(by a disturbingly small margin)
What the actual fuck Georgia? It shouldn’t have been close.
/taking a pain pill alongside the several other pills that I’m taking these days. I’d just like to say………………………………………….
/ Tony Sparano’s football, Tony Sparano, and Shonn Greene’s locker do nothing in solidarity
https://vimeo.com/778556886
You spelled “Velvet Underground” wrong.
I got Tyler Huntley off waivers, Hippo very excite. Even if I only get one week, I desperately need the win and a bye.
Dammit, that’s a good move.
If I beat you, we’re down to like the 5th tiebreaker.
Hope it’s not dong size.
Sens are losing to the Kings 5-1 on Aboriginal Appreciation Night. Do I have the courage to make a joke about the First Nations cursing the Senators? No, I do not.
First Nations spirits are rooting for the Kings because of our craft beer scene.
First Nation spirits is how we got all this land” – Hudson’s Bay Company
That’s one fine looking loaf of bread right there.
Glad you had success with it. This is a great time of year for bread baking.
I’m slobbering, not gonna lie!
“Just tell people it’s a neck injury.” – NFL doctors
“BACK INJURY! YOU FOOL, BACK INJURY!”
— other NFL doctor
Let me have a look at your chest – Dr. D Chao
Oh Dr. Chao is the Commanders cheerleadering squad’s team doctor now?
Your League May Vary, but usually they calculate your handicap and apply it back to the games. If he averaged over the base score (180, 190, 200), he’d have gotten a zero handicap.
Not a whole lot of stuff left for me to cover.
Shoes: go buy a pair. Just get the cheapest pair you can find until you figure out how much slide, or lack thereof, you want.
Watch where your ball is going, so you know how you screwed up. If you hit your mark at the speed you want, and the ball didn’t hit where you want, move your feet or move your target. I’d say feet first.
If/when you buy a new ball, rule of thumb is 1 lb of ball per 10 pounds of you, up to the limit of 16 lbs. Get it drilled for a fingertip grip, you’ll like it better.
Appropriate place for this too, I guess.
Subs: you’re generally better off with a sub that taking an absent bowler’s score. Absent bowler scores are their average minus 10 (or more) points. So you’re usually better off getting a sub. A few leagues I was in would have a couple of guys (never saw a woman doing it) hanging around, looking to sub for practice + free bowling. The league will keep their averages for that particular league.
I do need to get some shoes. After that I may have to do a new ball. Upgrade from the used 16 pounder to a fingertip. I’ve used that grip at my old grimy alley and it was much better.
Once again, appreciate the help
Speaking of bowling…FUCKING PINKIES!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DAktV0iqz0
Tower of Bowling
When my wife and I went bowling last week we brought our own bowling balls and bags, which we bought on a whim several years ago and have used, well, several times since.
The event was in a private, 5 lane area of a much bigger center. No one was in the unwashed masses portion when we came in. When we went out the place was jammed, with scores north of 200 on all the boards, and several bags stacked up along the main desk clearly meant to hold 3-4 balls at a time. I’d never seen anything like that.
The next two days I could barely walk because my ass muscles were so sore.
If our nation’s best athletes focused on bowling instead of those other silly sports like basketball we could finally beat those damn Europeans!
I envision a future whereby an OBJ-type player would shop his services around to various darts leagues after partially tearing his rotator cuff. His contract of 100,000 free beers would be fully guaranteed.
By definition every nation’s best athletes are bowlers.
Not sure I believe your assertion that it was bowling that caused this condition.
It can wild in the post-bowl parties
No comment
-HC’s dwarf
The very, very best fast food offering is the Peanut Buster Parfait from Dairy Queen. Change my mind.
/McDonald’s fries are a very close second-I’d take them first back when they were fried in beef tallow
I once had a burger at Dairy Queen and was pleasantly surprised.
Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box
Every time I visit your fair country I endevoUr to find a JIB. Cheap and you feel dirty after eating all of it. Sublime.
Popeye’s chicken sammy.
FIVE in his sack? Couldn’t be John Kruk, then. Though he looks like a man who bowls.
Extra extra extra testicle
Guttersnipe!
Mills Lane is off to officiate Death Matches directly from Hell now.
Have to think Hippo is walking on air today-a Wolven dude has won the ACC Wrestler of the Month and the Women’s Cross Country team won the ACC Champeenship.
I do indeed own an “NC State track and field” light rain jacket, thanks to my Wolven Sort HippoSPAWN (who ran cross country in high school).
That’s great! And if we’re stretching, I think that at one point you’ve wrestled with your emotions?
The top of the pill bottle actually. Stupid child proof lids.